Monday, 24 January 2022

Acknowledge the dark and let light in.


 And by 'faith' I mean, 

faith in yourself....

KNOWING that you are ok, deep down....

even if a part of you still 'thinks' 

that you have to prove yourself......


Realise that part of you thinks this,

not all parts......

Feed the parts that are already more sure,

more light.....


Years ago 

some remarks of men towards woman

were tolerated, 

even if woman felt uncomfortable.

Now woman speak up and......

we have to take responsibility:

'Then we didn't know what we know now,

so now we acknowledge, forgive and change'


Men felt it was ok, and perhaps thought

'then I belong to this group'.

Most likely some felt uncomfortable as well.....


'Woman should speak up'

'Men should behave'.....

For me it should not be about 'men/woman'

it should go about people.....

How do we treat each other,

realising we are all One, 

we are all 'the same',

we are all human beings.....


We should start with the beginning....

start with treating children with respect.

We should show them the way 

in this world by living an adult Saturn.

Let them be themselves, 

while we adults make sure they can do it

in an safe environment.

Show them by our behaviour, 

our words, how we treat

the people/nature/the world around us.


It is an immature ego that compares,

it is an hurt ego that compares.

It is an immature Saturn 

that believes that one is better than the other....

It is an immature Saturn

that is impatient and is pushing their believes on someone els....


The world is showing this energy everywhere.

In Holland it is about sexual transgressive behaviour,

in Ukraine it is about provocative behaviour,

in other country's it is about government using an energy of a dictator.

Lot of country's have to deal with people with depression

and suicides, especially young people.


All show the misuse of power.

Not always consciously but it will stay,

if this energy stays in the dark....


I read a book from Fabian Ruigrok,

he wrote about his healing process from depression.

Part of a twin, he has a twin sister.

This morning I saw a obituary

from a young men, he also has a twin sister.

Fabian got help, was open for help,

the other gave up......

I read the story of the one,

I don't know the story of the other......

and still.....I wonder.....

It this also about the male/female energy in us,

and the dis-balance there still is?!?


Fabian didn't realise 

how his sensitivity and his upbringing 

let him believe he had to had to act in a way

that wasn't his way, but 

'than I will be be accepted'....


How can you change something 

if you don't realise what is going on?

He loved his father AND 

-after therapies- 

realised he gave his power away.....

and....

it took time to get it back.....


He needed to be patient and

accepting relapses

to realise how determined he was

to live his life, his passion.

He realised he wasn't his depression:

only part of him was depressed.......

He took his power back

and is helping others.....



'I have obligations'......

for me it sounded 'tough'

and this says something about me.....

There is still a part of me that

feels that obligations are heavy

and I will be holding accountable:

 'I have to do it....or else...'


Other parts feel different,

these parts connect with my soul
and obligations 

feel like an adventure,

there is no time limit,

I get all the time that I need.


I am on a path 

and while healing and serving the past,

I enjoy the present, 

take care and Be,

am grateful and happy,

so future generations can enjoy life even more,

can enjoy all the beauty of this planet....

I realise that I still am to tough on myself sometimes....

I need and get 'a mirror' to show me

and....sometimes that part of me,

doesn't like to look at it.....

that part that is still in the dark....


A conversation this morning:

'I don't feel like doing anything today'.

 Jaap: 'You don't have to.'

'I know, but still'

Jaap:'Most likely you are still to tough on yourself'

'I don't think so.....' 

and then....I stopped.....

'probably you are right, or else I wouldn't mention it'......

And then I felt the part 

that still feels it has to 'do'

instead of 'Be'.....

Can you relate....?


Venus retrograde, Mercury retrograde, Uranus direct again:

let's take time to feel so we Can let go en

light Can come in....


Let's also remember we are all on a path,

treat each other with respect

and hold each other accountable,

also yourself....

Have compassion with others,

realise you don't know all

and have compassion with yourself.