Monday 19 February 2024

Choose your hard......


 Chiron, the wounded healer is connected this month with the Moons node.

Both in Aries. 

Fierce, frustration, anger,

or using that energy to change,

to speak up if needed

and or take action when needed.


That sounds so easy only.....the wounded healer is involved:

can we go past our wound, is it already healed a bit

or is it still to raw.....



Everyone  has this in his/her chart,

only not on the same spot......

So....were is this energy 

touching your wound?

Mentally, physically, financial, 

society/work or in your relationships....

And...

how is the relationship with yourself?


Chiron was at this same spot in 1974.....a long time ago.....

The Moons node are at the same spot as in the spring of 2007....

and beginning of 1987...

Did something happen for you personally in these years?

How did you react and......

looking back: would you have reacted different

now you know what you didn't know then?


When I look back I can see a pattern.

I learned to speak up for 'the underdog', 'for children',

and when I speak to people who knew me then,

they saw someone who knew what she wanted.

And part of it was true.


I knew what I wanted only 

it was not from a healed place.

I did it because I wanted others to have it easier,

more relaxed, to have more fun, 

to Live more........


It took me a long time before I realised

that it was also good to speak up for ME,

for what I like and choose.....

Heal yourself first
so you can be healing for others.


I started this blog last week
and today when I read it again
to finish it,
I realised how deep this wound can be.....


We 'need' a new bathroom.
So we made an appointment to make this happen.
This sounds easy and something you have to do
if you have a house for years 
with an older bathroom.

We looked at the options
and 'Peter' told us, it could be ordered
and also finished in a few months.
'Great' I said and we start looking
at all the things you need in a bathroom.

When we left, I was glad:
finally it is happening!

This was already 'a red flag'.....
In the afternoon I became sad,
I didn't know why and I talked
about it with Jaap.
'Strange that I feel like this,
I should/we should be happy?!?'

I went for a walk 
and all of a sudden I realised
that deep down I was soooo happy
that finally the bathroom would be renovated,
that I forgot to look what really makes me happy....

Did I like what we choose 
or.....did I 'accept' it 
and would I accept anything
because 'I would be done...finally'......'

I realised that an old wound was touched:
'It is not to bad,
others have less and...
I still can take a shower,
even if I need a 'pipe wrench'
to control the heat...'

Not speaking up, 
because 'I am not worth it'.....
a deep wound....
deeper than I realised.
Our bathroom 
needed a renovation 5 years ago.
We started with the kitchen and.... 
would do the bathroom 'the next year'.
Only 
'live happens and you make other plans'....
I realised that deep down I resented that 
more than I thought I did....

Jaap and I talked
and....
he didn't realise how it was for me...
He couldn't: I didn't even know it....
He was not so happy with all of it as well,
so......
we choose to cancel and make a change, 
next week we have a new appointment.




I am sure I would have been ok 
when we would have done it
the way we 'choose' it......
However....
I am also sure it would not have made me 
happy in the long run....

So what do you choose?
Do you make choices form a wounded place
or a healed place?
Do you accept/see/feel your wound
or.....do you choose to hide the pain......


So what does this mean for the world.
We are in this energy together....

Many country's had or are having elections,
country's are at war.....
What do we choose?

Do we accept the wound, 
afraid to go through the pain,
and choosing from anger and hurt?
Or 
do we choose to transform
go through the pain of healing
and choose for a healed wound.....


I don't know......
I only know that if we deal with our own wound first,
we can not only make a change,
we can transform as society.....

Let's have compassion, understanding and patience with each other.
Let's speak up from inner power,
Knowing how challenging life can be sometimes.
Let's have compassion with ourselves
be patient and....

Choose to love, 
choose to have fun,
choose to be curious,
choose to see the other as a mirror of yourself.