Monday 24 February 2020

Ending and new beginnings.....

I was so happy 
when the Amaryllis bloomed
and I enjoyed it.
They were not red as I expected,
but beautiful, all the four flowers.

It is just as
when you finished a project,
reached your goal,
got a new job,
a new relationship,
a child is born:
it is time to celebrate,
to enjoy.

when the last of the four flours started blooming,
the first one started dying…..
I realised that it was good that I really enjoyed the flowers,
because they didn't bloom a long time...
it was also time for something new again...

It could make you sad 
when you see the end of a nice period.
It can also make you realise 
that you should live in the NOW.
being grateful and celebrating,
when it is time.
Life is moving all the time,
that is how we grow,
how nature grows.
We don't know how much time there is,
so use it wisely.

If I look at the time from bulb to flower,
I realise that there are tree parts.
The first, from bulb to stem
it took 3 months…..
The second, from bulb to flower 
about 1 1/2 months
and the third part, the blooming,
was 'only' about one or two weeks...

Is this not exactly what life is?
Preparing takes a lot of time,
it is an inside job,
finding out what you would like 
if it is done,
you have to be patient and wait.

Sometime you think it will never come,
because you don't see anything
and then….
when you see the green stem growing,
you can not wait,
you WANT to see it....

-at one time I thought that perhaps it would
stay a green stem and I should throw it out,
because 'Christmas is over and it should have bloom then!'-

How often did we prepare
and didn't wait for a project/relationship/study/job
to bloom….
because we were inpatient and didn't trust...

And than,
when you see the result,
you are happy
and part of you want it to stay as it is....always...
our comfortzone.....
that is not what live is.....
it is growing all the time,
to become the best you can be.

Here you see the shadow or flowers at the end of there blooming time...
I had to throw them out because the leaves and petals were falling.
I tried to keep them,
but it was not possible.
If you touched them 
or there was a movement,
the petals were falling....
But still….
the shadow showed a great bouquet.

If something ends,
we want to have as much time as possible,
even if it is the end....
Always remember the shadow….
our memories will stay.

This is the case with 
letting go of loved ones,
or when you finish a study and start to work.
When you start a new relation
or going trough a divorce.
It is when you let go of old patterns and behaviour.
A part of you wants to keep the old,
understandable if it is good,
only a part of you want it
even if it is not good for you
or the people around you.

Be grateful for the good times,
remember them 
and....KNOW that live goes on....
I already see the signs in nature

the bulbs I planted in the garden started growing a few weeks back as well
I see the green....not the flowers ….yet.
-I realise that I trust AND....I can practise more patience ;-)-

Every ending is the beginning of something new.
We need courage and determination,
take time to go inside, 'feed the bulb',
and start a new 'adventure'.

The last weeks were emotional challenging weeks:
some people died, one old, the others young
I heard from some who got 'a bad message',
and some had to take responsibility of there behaviour,
in a tough way.
I also heard news of new life.
All in one week.
Emotional and ….good:
Ending and new beginnings

How is it in your live?
What do you have to let go
or...choose to go:
working to hard,
eating to much,
holding on to relationship that are not good for you, or
holding on to a job that is not good for you?

What is in your 'bulb'?
What kind of 'flower' do you want to see in the future?
Are you open for something unexpected?
Do you take time to go inside?

Can you be grateful?
Know you did the best you could at the time,
and can choose something new every day.
Can you forgive and love again?
And....if you are in a 'renovation'
with all these storms and wind and rain...
can you still trust it will be ok?

Mercury will be retrograde till March 6,
time to look inside,
talk to yourself in a loving way.

Can you find 3 things every evening to be grateful for?

Monday 10 February 2020


Today there will be a full moon and
there is a storm warning in Holland..


This full moon is about being your unique self
AND be part of a group…..

a storm...

I decided to take a walk,
before it would be to dangerous.
It felt great :-)

I realised that walking in the storm
is just like living:
sometime if is not easy to go forward
because of the strong wind.
You have to make a conscious decision to go on.

It is as if something 
that is not going as you like it to be,
and accepting the situation as it is,
is challenging.
It is as when you feel down, or are sick,
or a loved one is going trough a rough situation
and you can not solve it for them.
It also can be if you feel you are not accepted
by a group/like minded people
you have a different opinion.

In a situation like that,
it is not always easy to see the positive signs

If you look at these signs,
then you realise you are being helped
that nature is strong...

Can you be YOU?
Being yourself and different from the family you come from
and still feeling loved?
Have a different religion, political choice,
or sexual preference and still be respected?
Can you choose different from the people around you 
and still feel loved?
Can a child be itself and still feel loved by there parents?
Can parents trust there child and let them make 'mistakes'
let them grow in there own time?
Can you respect the choice of someone close
who chooses to die,
even though you would want them to live...
All 'stormy' situations....

Sometimes in a storm,
the wind is behind you
you are pushed forward
quicker then you want
and....sometimes it is hard to see were you go...

There are situations that life is pushing you forward:
If you are in love with someone who lives in a different country,
as you lose your job,
or are confronted with people around you
who don't have a lot of time left in this world...

Those are time you HAVE to choose for YOU....
not what other people want you to do...


Loes asked me to go to a performance of modern dance.
I loved it straight away 
even though I didn't no the theme.
The performance was called
'Let me be me'

It started with birth.
The dancers were on the floor
when we came in
and stayed there till the performance started.
It felt like a long time....
The music and dances were about being YOU,
about the storms in some ones live,
opinions from others
and that you can choose….
choose to 'dance'
and being your unique self,
instead of 'waiting' for the end...

-If you live in Holland you should go!


A few years ago I got a nice mug from a friend.
At that time we were close and saw each other often.
He was the husband of a 'friend'.
I put 'friend' because at that time
she called me her friend and I didn't feel like that.
We did a lot together and still….
something was 'off' 
I was not secure enough to use my intuition,
could not me ME in a group…...not all the time.
Her husband, however was different,
we had  a click.
He was a lot older, but that didn't matter.

A few weeks ago something happened:

The angel fell of...
it made me think.
I saw him last year and then his health was not so good,
his mind was great tough :-)
'I asked this morning for an angel
and now you are here :-)'

Last week he died:
an angel in heaven.
He had a lot of storms in his life
and it was not always easy for him,
Now he is at peace and I am sure very happy!

Looking back,
I realise how I was always being guided..


The flowers are blooming
The storms in my life,
helped me
to become me.

People came in my life,
some stayed,
others left.
I am grateful for all

Looking back is good,
to recognize old patterns
so you can change them.
make sure you don't look there all the time:
that is not the way you are going,
we are going forward!

A full moon and a storm:
time to look back
and let go.
Be grateful
and go forward

Sunday 2 February 2020


Only time.....

The flower is almost blooming :-)
I thought it would be a red one,
because I saw some red in the petals.
I also thought there were two flowers.

Today I see they are white
and...there are tree flowers :-)

How often do we expect something
and are not open for a different outcome,
perhaps even a better outcome …...

We don't have to defend ourselves,
we only have to be honest….
Energy is honest and true.
If you feel that someone did something bad to you,
you have a choice….
You can hold a grudge,
or you can forgive,
and let time/energy find a way.
Truth always wins.

I bought a puzzel with a twist.
This was the scene and..

the puzzel would show what would happen after...

We started making the puzzel
and it was sometimes challenging:
you look at the picture and expect that you
 'only have to copy'
that doesn't work...

It is like a lifecycle plan:
YOU are the plan,
and have to imagine…..
live life,
be patient...
it will take exactly the time it needs...

The result of the puzzel was amazing
and....lot's of energy going on,
unexpected events ;-)
A new month,
Mercury in it shadow.
Choose to be YOU,
you don't have to prove anything.
Enjoy life

If the result what you see today,
doesn't make you happy
kNOW you can make an other choice
take your time....