Tuesday 23 June 2020

June....Gemini and Cancer

I was walking in the forest
and all of a sudden I 'had to look up'...
I made a picture, because I didn't know why….
When I looked at the picture I saw it….

June is the middle of the year,
Summer, Sun, 'Fun'...
June is also the month my mom died,
my sister decided she didn't want to live
and also my brother 2 years ago...

The Sun is at it highest point,
it shines...
whatever happens, it doesn't stop,
it goes on....
it doesn't have to proof itself,
it just is...

We all have a Sun sign,
we are ment to shine,
we have nothing to proof...
we only have to Be....

June has two Astrology signs:
Gemini and Cancer.

Gemini is like a butterfly,
it likes to meet people,
talk about all kind of things,
its the media, communication
in an easy way.

That is the fun of the summer
it can be a mask...

You show people that you are ok,
even if you are sad outside,.
You show what 'people' want to see from you,
or what you think they want to see from you:
a fun and happy person,
so you don't have to
talk about your deepest emotion,
and....they don't have to do it aswell...

People 'like' these people,
they are easy going,
don't worry, be happy.....
have lots of 'friends'....

Cancer is the sign of a new born baby,
of taking care of the vulnerable.
Like the crab it is soft inside
protected by a hard surface.
It walks backwards.

That is why, most of the time,
you don't see,
how sensitive these people are:
you see the hard surface...
to make sure they
don't get hurt again….protection...
They forget that with this protection
love can't go in as well....
they needed it as a child,
not as an adult anymore...

We as adults Know
that we have to think for ourselves.
Media is ok, but doesn't have to be true….
We study, read books, see good movies
to raise our consciousness.
We know we have to do this to grow.

We also Know that we are not children anymore,
we can protect ourselves,
we can let people know if they hurt us,
so we don't need that 'shell' all the time,
and love can come in as well....

I hope and wish
that the homes who were closed for visitors
because of the Corona,
will be open again.
Those people are hurt,
vulnerable, feel abandoned
and like to communicate again,
see loved ones again,
hold them,
so life can be fun and joy again.
Let's hope this will happen soon.

Are you dealing with your vulnerability?
Can you be sad and feeling loved,
Can you communicate and set boundaries?

I realised an old pattern.
When I read, talk to people
or walk outside,
I say: 'I didn't do anything'.....

-my Sun sign is Virgo and a part of me still 'thinks'
that I should be there for others and.….not for me...-

Although I talk about
-love yourself first,
-take time for your self,
-enjoy life
a part of me didn't believe it myself..
deep down I 'have to do....'
this time it clicked….
I am doing something all the time
or better:
Being all the time...

Letting go needs time,
and goes in parts.
You let go as much as you can,
till the next time....
For me it was time :-)

I believe we live in a positive universum:
every thing that happens, happens for a reason
and -even if you don't like it -
it is the best at that moment....

What do YOU believe?
Do you trust that everything that happens to you
should happen the way it is or
are you still angry…..

If you are,
I hope you raise your consciousness,
deal with your anger,
so we can make a new world.

A good book to read….

Perhaps you can look at the past:
how did people treat you?
Did you have a safe childhood?
Was there fun?

….this has nothing to do with having good or bad parents...
They didn't get you with a manual....
even though they did the best they could,
it could have been not good enough for you….

Accept it, deal with it, forgive,
let your wall down,
communicate with people
and start one step at a time
with a life You choose.
I choose to cut the stampers of the lilies…..
I loved the lilies
and realised that the stampers would make stains...
I could choose to let them go,
I love them...
Now, without the stampers,
I can still enjoy them…..

You don't have to let go of all...
only what you don't want anymore..

I keep the fond memories of my mom,
my sister and my brother.
June is a great month :-) 

Thursday 18 June 2020

Half way through 2020....

We are half way through 2020....
'So above, so within'......
this picture is as a mirror…..

Did you go inside,
or did you have to go inside
because of sudden unexpected issues.
what do you choose for the second half of 2020?

I looked at our life cycle plan
and in the middle was a quote
 that fits in these times.....
'Time has a wonderful way
of showing us what really matters'..
and on top of it
'Let's be honest'

How honest are we to our selves?
If I look at my self:
my body gives me signs
that I am not always honest…..
On the other hand,
I see lot's of 'positive signs' as well.
I am grateful
'want to go on again'....
As if enjoying the moment is ok,
but 'not to long'.....
I would change the word usage:
there ar no mistakes.....there are challenges,
challenges that helped you,
to be who you are already in the inside.

Challenges that make you into 'a lotus'
Whatever happens in your life
Know that live goes on 
and YOU decide how it goes on...

Social distancing.
Take your own responsibility
and be close to the people who are important to you.
If you found out that it was good 
to distance you from some people:
keep that distance.

Losing loved ones.
Remember the good things
and take those with you in the future.
They make you a better person..
Be open for new people in your life.

Feeling stuck, not good enough.
Remember that you
ALWAYS are good enough and
only old patterns/emotions 
are letting you think something different.
Choose to go inside and let it go.
I smelt this rose before I saw it....
A beautiful yellow rose at a old wall.
For me a reminder:
BE yourself,
let the old be fertile soil
so you can shine
and make a difference...
even if you don't realise it
take your time to enjoy,
life is to short to rush trough nice moments...

This first half of 2020 was totaly different 
than we expected
and....it was good as it was,
it taught us a lot,
especially that we are not always in control
and that accepting is not always easy.

What do you choose for the second half?
Are you afraid,
-for laws, to be ill, to be broke-
or do you trust, 
and KNOW that we are responsible,
get mirrors
and are willing to go inside.
That we ARE society
and much more powerful then we think..
This tree fell down,
probably years ago.
On the other side of the road,
it got roots again
and it kept on growing.

Like a tree,
we are nature as well,
so I expect challenges
and most of all miracles.
Hope you do as well.

For now, I take it easy,
practice more patient,
smell the roses,
enjoy the garden
enjoy meeting people,
and let other people do the 'tough labour' ;-)

Friday 5 June 2020

How do you talk to yourself?

This whole month is about communication.
Mercury is in it's shade now and will go retrograde June 18.

We have these periods more often in the year,
but this time it is more special.
This Mercury is in Cancer
and that is the opposite of Pluto/Saturn.
What does this mean?

Obstacles on our road

We see it in the world.
The dead of a George Floyd, by a policeman.
He spoke up, but wasn't heard….

Demonstrations, rioting, looting,
frustrations, blaming, excuses:
all kind of reactions followed.

Is it about black, white, wrong parents,
wrong neighbourhood, rich, poor,
or is it about something else?
Something we don't like to address....
These scheep look al the same, but...
some are mothers,
some are just children….
They look alike,
because the mom's are sheared...

Could it be that it is time to be vulnerable,
look inside of us,
deal with our own emotions,
instead of looking for excuses.....

Are we listening to ourselves?
How do you talk to yourself?
How come we don't deal with this….
How afraid are we....
to be ourselves,
to be unique...
I saw a quote from George Floyds daughter:
'my dad changed the world'.....
I wish we all will take time to look in ourselves,
and deal with our own 'demons',
deal with our emotions,
our inner child,
so something like this is not needed anymore.

What do we see….
What do we ignore….

Morgan Freeman:


Could we just see each other as 'an other me',
could we see each other as people on a path,
see them as doing the best they can,
be open, be respectful?

It is only possible if we are nice to ourselves first,
treat ourselves with respect,
be as children again:
curious, wanting to share,
to connect, wanting to learn.
Children fall on our bum till they know how to walk.
Children fall of their bike often before they can ride.
Children see 'drawings' till they can see letters and can read.

Let's remember we have still these ability's in ourselves.
Let's be nice to this kid in ourselves,
give it space,
give it love and
Choose to feed our courage,
to feed our ability to grow,
to have fun, to love,
to be unique,
to say No to thinks we don't want,
and Yes to thinks we want even though
we have to go through challenges.
Deep down we Know we can do it

On June 18 Mercury will go retrograde,
we will re-visit, re-do the energy from June 2th.
What will You do...?
Do you take the time to go inside
see the mirrors,
or do you choose to blame,
make excuses….

It is challenging to deal with trauma,
is it not more challenging to stay in this trauma
and not life a live you could live?

A life of abundance,
love and joy.
A life of connection,
fun and peace.

While I write this it is raining, pouring.
The last month was very, very dry,
so this is so good for nature.

When I walked through the forest
last week,
I thought about water and emotions.
Ditches and streams were dry....
'do we, do I, avoid emotions?'
I saw it as a mirror and then
I passed a low bridge....
how beautiful nature is when there is water....

And now it is pouring…..
We get help to deal with our emotions,
now it is on us, to do something with it....
Real power needs vulnerability...