Monday 24 January 2022

Acknowledge the dark and let light in.

 And by 'faith' I mean, 

faith in yourself....

KNOWING that you are ok, deep down....

even if a part of you still 'thinks' 

that you have to prove yourself......

Realise that part of you thinks this,

not all parts......

Feed the parts that are already more sure,

more light.....

Years ago 

some remarks of men towards woman

were tolerated, 

even if woman felt uncomfortable.

Now woman speak up and......

we have to take responsibility:

'Then we didn't know what we know now,

so now we acknowledge, forgive and change'

Men felt it was ok, and perhaps thought

'then I belong to this group'.

Most likely some felt uncomfortable as well.....

'Woman should speak up'

'Men should behave'.....

For me it should not be about 'men/woman'

it should go about people.....

How do we treat each other,

realising we are all One, 

we are all 'the same',

we are all human beings.....

We should start with the beginning....

start with treating children with respect.

We should show them the way 

in this world by living an adult Saturn.

Let them be themselves, 

while we adults make sure they can do it

in an safe environment.

Show them by our behaviour, 

our words, how we treat

the people/nature/the world around us.

It is an immature ego that compares,

it is an hurt ego that compares.

It is an immature Saturn 

that believes that one is better than the other....

It is an immature Saturn

that is impatient and is pushing their believes on someone els....

The world is showing this energy everywhere.

In Holland it is about sexual transgressive behaviour,

in Ukraine it is about provocative behaviour,

in other country's it is about government using an energy of a dictator.

Lot of country's have to deal with people with depression

and suicides, especially young people.

All show the misuse of power.

Not always consciously but it will stay,

if this energy stays in the dark....

I read a book from Fabian Ruigrok,

he wrote about his healing process from depression.

Part of a twin, he has a twin sister.

This morning I saw a obituary

from a young men, he also has a twin sister.

Fabian got help, was open for help,

the other gave up......

I read the story of the one,

I don't know the story of the other......

and still.....I wonder.....

It this also about the male/female energy in us,

and the dis-balance there still is?!?

Fabian didn't realise 

how his sensitivity and his upbringing 

let him believe he had to had to act in a way

that wasn't his way, but 

'than I will be be accepted'....

How can you change something 

if you don't realise what is going on?

He loved his father AND 

-after therapies- 

realised he gave his power away.....


it took time to get it back.....

He needed to be patient and

accepting relapses

to realise how determined he was

to live his life, his passion.

He realised he wasn't his depression:

only part of him was depressed.......

He took his power back

and is helping others.....

'I have obligations'......

for me it sounded 'tough'

and this says something about me.....

There is still a part of me that

feels that obligations are heavy

and I will be holding accountable:

 'I have to do it....or else...'

Other parts feel different,

these parts connect with my soul
and obligations 

feel like an adventure,

there is no time limit,

I get all the time that I need.

I am on a path 

and while healing and serving the past,

I enjoy the present, 

take care and Be,

am grateful and happy,

so future generations can enjoy life even more,

can enjoy all the beauty of this planet....

I realise that I still am to tough on myself sometimes....

I need and get 'a mirror' to show me

and....sometimes that part of me,

doesn't like to look at it.....

that part that is still in the dark....

A conversation this morning:

'I don't feel like doing anything today'.

 Jaap: 'You don't have to.'

'I know, but still'

Jaap:'Most likely you are still to tough on yourself'

'I don't think so.....' 

and then....I stopped.....

'probably you are right, or else I wouldn't mention it'......

And then I felt the part 

that still feels it has to 'do'

instead of 'Be'.....

Can you relate....?

Venus retrograde, Mercury retrograde, Uranus direct again:

let's take time to feel so we Can let go en

light Can come in....

Let's also remember we are all on a path,

treat each other with respect

and hold each other accountable,

also yourself....

Have compassion with others,

realise you don't know all

and have compassion with yourself.

Monday 17 January 2022

We are One....the next step.....

 I started writing a blog about the energy that starts this week:

an energy of change,

an energy that will bring up 

misuse of power,

energy of fear....

I thought about prince Andrew and the case against him

and realised that the Moon nodes are changing 

at the same time as Uranus goes direct.

This, in a time when Venus and Mercury is retrograde...

What does this mean?

Moon nodes.

The last 2 years the Moons Nodes were in Gemini/Sagittarius

Moons Nodes show two sides: 

we need to come out of our comfort zone

and examine if everything we think is the truth,

is still the truth or......

do we have to add something,

change something

something we didn't know before and know now.

Can we combine them and bring them in balance

or do we stay in our comfort zone.....

Both sides have an immature and mature side....

Sagittarius can preach and point fingers or 

can bring wisdom and vision,

Gemini can gossip and being dishonest 

and avoid confrontation by using small talk.

It can also make sure you connect with people 

in an easy way, being playful.

It also good is about communications, media.

Gemini also has to do with your lungs......

The virus made sure we had to come out of our comfort zone:

we can not deal with a new virus in an old way.....

and with Uranus/Saturn: don't through everything away that is 'old'......

I experienced doctors/ lawmakers/ scientist say: 'we don't know',

or 'we would have done it different if we knew then what we know now'.

I also experienced people who followed 'guru's'

forgetting that we all are our own 'guru'.

As from this week the Nodes change into Scorpio/Taurus.

Taurus the sign that has connection with Venus,

the planet that is retrograde at the moment:

do you feel safe and secure, do you love yourself,

do you have enough money to live the life you choose to live,

do you enjoy live, are you being patient, 

do you take care of your body/nature.

It is in the same sign as Uranus,

the change that started in 2018......

In Holland the 'comfort zone' came to an end 

this weekend in an Uranus way:

Scorpio energy in a 'immature way'.

It showed misuse of power, of sexuality,

of hiding information,

being dishonest......

It's like the 'me too' movement all over again.....

Most likely there is more to expose.....

we were side tracked.....

We will see this energy the coming years in the outside world,

only that is 'just a mirror'....

What are we going to do the coming 2 years?

Can we take the next step

and see were we gave our power away

and take it back?

With Venus retrograde,

people from the past can come into your life again.

Most likely because you have 

some unsolved business/healing to do.

Be open and enjoy the re-connection....

The last 2 years there was a 'lot of talking',

'gossiping', social media.....

It is great that we can connect with each other,

world wide, in such an easy way.

I couldn't have worked with people while in lockdown

if there wasn't  social media,

We couldn't have been part 

of the life of our granddaughter so much 

if it weren't for social media.

So I am grateful for it and learned a lot.

I also learned about logarithm and how I can be played by it,

so I am more alert....

The coming years are about feeling safe and secure,

about fears we didn't dealt with,

about being patient 

and realising what is really important.

How much money do we need to be happy?

Do we live our passion or are we a prisoner of  money/stuff.

Are we in unconditional relationships or do we feel trapped

and do we feel we have to accept what we have

because there is nothing better for us....

One of the accused in Holland took responsibility

and send out a message:

'It is true, I did this

and it happened a few years ago.

I didn't mean any harm but

I know now that it is not how the victims,

felt, and I am sorry.

I confessed to my wife and we broke up.

After therapy we came together 

and I am very grateful for that.

I stop with my work in this program.'

How brave to admit this in public,

most people don't 

and keep on defending themselves,

not thinking about the victims....

He took responsibility and I thought this was a great step.

The only thing is: 

we have this Scorpio energy....

it doesn't want anything halfway.....

it wants to clear the energy totally....

It seems he wasn't totally honest with his wife

and they brook up again.....

How honest are you?

With Mercury retrograde and Venus retrograde

you get the change to change this....

you will get the mirrors.....

If you feel you are judging:

look inside.......

most likely there is something inside of you that needs healing....

Do you still judge yourself for things you did when you didn't know better?

look inside......

and Know you did the best you could at that time,

now you take a first step to manifest the life you desire.

Do you have power issues with yourself, your body,

look inside.....

be respectful and understanding.

Now you have the power to change eating habits,

one step at a time....

literlly as well....start walking ;-)

Did you misuse power or are you manipulating,

look inside.....

Start healing: 

connect with people, 

accept, let go and forgive.

A lot of people look at celebrities as people who 

have everything they want.....


We are all One.....

We are in the same boat,

on our unique path,

so we can become 

who we are already from the inside:

Light and love, 

unconditionally love

so we can live a peaceful life.

Also realising we don't desire the same,

so there is enough for everyone

and we can stop competing with each other.

Wednesday 12 January 2022

We are all One....part 2

A year ago the whole world

was shocked by the storming of the Capitol in America.

It showed the energy of Uranus and Saturn in the extreme....

I saw the documentary about this

from all kind of views: 

the police, the 'stormers' and

politicians from both sides.

You can look at the police and politicians as Saturn,

the 'stormers' as 'the people', Uranus.....

The president should also be 'Saturn'

and lead, only......

instead of taking responsibility,

he let 'his people' do the work for him......

An immature Saturn....

He didn't lead, he was angry, confused,

because he didn't get what he wanted:

that is not leadership that is manipulation....

Isn't that how we behave sometimes as well?

We want to have what we want,

even if we didn't 'deserve' it,

even if we are not ready for it ...yet.....

It doesn't work....

We are not being 'punished',

we only get a mirror/ a choice to change

to let go so real power - that is already in us-

can come out.

Power that IS.....doesn't need to be proved.....


'His people' followed him 

without thinking for themselves.

They followed from hurt places in them selves,

not being seen, heard.......

an energy like Trump....

Isn't that what we all have to remember:

thinking for ourselves,

and recognizing our emotions?

At one time a policeman was attacked 

and he was afraid for his life...

'I have children!' he shouted and:

the crowd stopped........

all of a sudden realizing he was just a man like them....

Other policemen talked to the crowd 

instead of using their calm them down.

When that didn't work, they let them by....

'I was afraid AND I knew 

that if we would have used our guns

it would have become a bloodbath....'

That is a mature Saturn....

patience and courage,

also the courage to walk away.....

How often do you have to do what is good,

AND you are still afraid.....

Isn't that what we all experience?

We make 'mistakes' to learn....

not to be punished...

Saturn is also 'jail'.....

a place were you get time

to look from a distant at your behaviour

and take responsibility.

-THE UNFORGIVABLE | Behind The Story | Netflix - YouTube

is a great movie about this theme -

When Zoe was at our place, 

she didn't like walking anymore,

she wanted to run.

She fell down and stood up again,

not one's, twice, 

no many many times......

How amazing that kids Know deep down.

They show courage, determination and patience


to do what they want to do, so they have more freedom


They need parents - Saturn- to make sure they feel safe

so they can be free.

- in Zoe's case: making sure she didn't fall against a table

or the fireplace, or from chairs ;-)-

How is it with us?

Do we show courage, determination and patience?

Can we protect ourselves or 

do we want to walk in shoes 

that are to big for us...yet...

The storming of the capital showed how important

a leader is and that an unhealed leader is very dangerous.

How is it with your leadership?

While looking at the documentary 

I saw the resemblance with the corona virus:

Who can we trust?

Do we need to rebel or do we have to make sure 

our voice is heard from an healed place

and protest if needed.

Are we following without thinking 

and/or are we listening to unhealed leaders?

Can we trust our leaders to admit when they are wrong 

and give them a chance to do better or..... 

are some like 'Trump'......

I followed my parents as a child, because I trusted them

I followed my teacher because I trusted them

I followed my church because I trusted them....

Now as an adult I have the ability to choose what is good for ME

and let go of rules/habits and old emotions

that are not good for me anymore.

I freed myself of some family members because

that was better for me and.....for them.

I freed my self of some education rules and practices

because I realised they were not always good for all children.

I freed my self the ideal of one religion that was superior,

when I realised they all have one and the same ground rule:


One of the stormers of the capital was a preacher.

He stopped and asked the crowd

to 'stop and let's pray':

he felt that the way it was going was not the right one.

After  he was detained

he was shocked that Trump was still free

and didn't look after 'us who were there for him'...

He still believed the elections were not fair,

but....he didn't believe in Trump anymore....

It is now the beginning of 2022.

No storming of the Capitol,

still issues with Saturn/Uranus.....

More contaminations of Corona and....

less people in hospitals and IC's.....

Can we be responsible and living our life?

Do we need all the restrictions

or do we have to accept that dead/illness is part of life....

Do we realise we have to take care of nature,

and treat it right because we need nature....

nature doesn't need us......

Do we take care of our body's 

or are we still not treating it 

with the respect it deserves? 

Do we accept help from science,

or do we not trust is,

or trust it without thinking....

Do we take time to Be

and accept who we are

or do we still compare ourselves with others.

Are we busy to collect 'stuff'

so we can be what we think

others want us to be.....

forgetting that we only have 

to compare us with ourselves.....

how far we have come...

Last year I wrote about our prime minister:

he talked about responsibility and.....I loved it!

In one of my last blogs 

I wrote that he didn't do this anymore....

There was a docu about him and someone said:

'In the beginning het talked about people taking their own responsibility,

at the end he didn't anymore, because people were not ready....'

Is this true?!? I hope not and.....

I  believe it is not true.....

For some it means I am a dreamer.....

that is ok: I am a happy dreamer :-)

I am glad I can help

by taking MY responsibility

and keep remember that 'we are all One'

Hope you will join me!

Wednesday 5 January 2022

We are One.....are you open to remember?

Just read it again:

'In each of Us, there is a little of all of us,

We are One.'......

Take it in...

Feel it.......

What does this mean for you?

If we are all One, 

it means that we can stop defending or proving ourselves.

It means that if we blame others, we blame ourselves....

It means that if we feel others are naïf, we are naïf..

It means we can relax.......

The only thing we have to do is to be the best we can be....

The only thing we have to do is to be grateful,

enjoy life:

'be the change we want to see in the world.....'

Do you think this is 'to easy',

'to simple' to be truth?

Just start today.....

and you will realise 

that this is not as easy and simple as it seems....

This is Neptune as mature energy instead of immature energy.

This is Neptune out of the fog.....

out of self pity, 

self blame, addictions and feeling a victim.

We are all One.....

why should you waste your time

by proving you are good?

You ARE good,

you ARE an unique part of this Oneness....

Because of all your experiences you are the person you are now.

You experienced live

and collected some believes 

that appaired to be 'immature' believes.

Proving yourself is one of them....

Because of your experiences you understand others,

you are more understanding and compassionate.

You also learned to set boundaries to protect YOU,

the unique part of this Oneness 

so this part can be what it always was: a leader.

Not a leader as 'being a boss', 

but a leader between other leaders.

Trusting each other to do what is needed

and Knowing the other has a different talent than you have

so you don't have to do it all!

Because of this, we as a group

have everything we need to thrive and flourish

as a group, as society.....

The 'only' thing we have to make sure,

is to heal our 'immature' emotions.....

What is your dream?
Can you still connect with this dream?
Or is it hidden under emotions....
Is it to have lot's of money?
Is it to have a great job?
Is it to have the perfect partner/kids?

I believe deep down we all have the same dream:
to be happy, healthy and in peace
with loving people around us.

I also believe that we all want to contribute 
to the people around us 
with our unique gift 
so we all can even be more happy, healthy and in peace.

Deep down we Know we have this gift.....
we 'only' have to let go of proving ourselves
and start remembering that we ARE...

We have to recognize our emotions,
accept them,
 let them be the fertilizer.....
Let go of guild and shame
and remember our dream......

How is it with your dream?
Do you see/feel/experience happiness in your life?
Do you still feel you are not doing enough?

With the Neptune/Pisces energy this year we get help:
make sure you relax,
enjoy music,
enjoy nature,
enjoy a walk,
and be open to signs, synchronicity.... 

set boundaries when needed,
don't believe everything you read on social media,
don't be mislead and......if you do:
acknowledge it....
We are all in a process of healing:
have compassion with yourself as you have with others:
We are all One....

Monday 3 January 2022

Let's start an amazing 2022: Enjoy, love and trust.

 2022 is all about the results of our healing journey:

are we acting from power, do we set boundaries,

or are we acting from our unhealed wounds and

are we still pointing fingers....

I talked about the bridge between Saturn and Uranus

in blogs before, this bridge is called Chiron,

the wounded healer.

This year we will be tested if our wounds are healed

or need some more looking into.

If we are on the path of healing, 

we get an energy of flow,

of being authentic and unique.

We will feel free,

even if there are rules,

because we Know deep down that

these rules are there to make sure

everyone can be free.....

-a red traffic light is not always fun,

but makes sure we are safe and free...-

We are building at a new society 

were we can be a leader,

and trust others with different quality's

and see them as leaders as well.


we work at a world

with respect for each other

using each others quality's

Knowing we are all One.

There is also a challenge in 2020.....


do we trust and Know we are all one,

or do we feel a victim and are we using this energy

to 'fight and point fingers'......

In 2021 there were riots in Holland 'against Corona rules'


a lot of people were rioting because they were

angry at the situation they were in,

and used 'Corona' to lash out.......

I hope and wish they will look inside

and get help were they need it.....

The omicron variant of Corona is very contagious

but....doesn't make people very sick.....

Are we still afraid, or do we realise that 

being sick is also healthy: 

it gives us time to bring balance in our life again,

were it was out of balance....

Do we trust our self healing mechanism of our body?

Do we trust others/vaccinations/doctors/ ministers

to do what they do we also trust ourselves? leaders trust us,

to open up society again...

realising we are -most of us- responsible....

I know a few family's who had to be in quarantine

because of the omicron variant.

They were not very sick quality time together.....

How special in this time

with Pluto/Venus. 

This energy/the cosmos, 'made sure'

they got the time.....Pluto is a demanding energy ;-)

This is also the energy for 2022:

how are you relationships and.....

how critical are you towards yourself......

how do you talk to yourself?

How do you treat your inner child?

Can you be as compassionate, understanding and loving

towards yourself as you are with others....

If you can this, 

you Know you treat your inner child well.....

This year Jupiter, 

the planet of growing, healing has no aspects:

we will see this energy in extreme ways: 

sometimes we trust and go with the flow,

and sometimes we feel like we are victims,

and can develop addictions 

or will realise we are addicted.

It could be we realise we are

addicted to work, pleasing others,

smoking/drinking/, following gurus/influencers,

following rules of society that are outdated.

We could also start protesting with like minded people,


can we do it from trust and intuition 

or do we do it from a feeling of being a victim..

You can choose to take action......

and by action I mean: action for your personally.

You could start walking, yoga, or reading inspiring books.

-I believe I can trust books more than some articles I see on the internet...-

You can choose to ask: 'is this the truth, a truth 

or did I end up in an algorithm?'

'Learn to find joy in the story you are actually living'......

2022 is a year of leadership,

of doing what YOU like to do,

and BE the change you want to see in the world...

The challenge is if you are a leader who is on a path of healing,

or are you acting from a wounded leader.

If you are the last one, 

you will act as a 'dictator or manipulator'.

Most likely you will see this energy in parts of your life....

if you do, you know there is a wounded leader

and you have a choice to heal this part.

If you do, you will go from manipulating 

to attracting what you like.

Do you trust.....or do you point fingers......

Do you choose to listen to your intuition

or are you reacting from your emotions.

Are you mislead or do you mislead others.....

Do you Know you get just what you need to experience

so you can heal and grow....?

We will repeat experiences as society,

can we do better know?

Can we lead by example

or are we dictating how others need to live.....

There was no fog on new years eve,

it was clear.

There were was not allowed


lot's of people showed it could be done safely.....Uranus...

and sometimes it was not done safely

and people got hurt, even died:

responsibility, Saturn......

Let's choose to be responsible -Saturn-

so we can be free and be part of community -Uranus-.

Let's choose to be forgiving and grateful in 2022.

Let's choose to lead by example.

Let's choose to Be the change we want to see in the world.