Monday 30 January 2023

Shadow.....'never walk in anyone's shadow'

At the moment we are, till Febr. 7,
 in 'the post shadow' of Mercury.
From Nov. 23 2022 we were in the 'pre shadow'
and in between it was the retrograde period.

Shadow period: 
we will see our shadow in the outside world,
so we get the opportunity to be our 'real' self again.
With Mercury it is the way we communicate,
especially how we communicate with ourselves.

These periods are not to long,
and sometimes we/I forget 
that we also get long periods 
were we, as society, 
get the opportunity to deal with our shadow
for a longer period.
Especially with the slower planets.

Pluto is one of these planets.
It is in the sign of Capricorn, 
starting in 2008 
till 2024.

What kind of Shadows did we get,
what kind of Shadow did YOU get?
The shadow you find in the opposite sign:
cancer..... an immature Cancer.

Cancer is a water sign,
emotional, intuitive, sentimental,
caring, family.
It is also a cardinal sign:
it takes initiative.
Family is very important.
If it is not nurtured, it will find ways
to survive.....
put a shield around the feelings
and use it's leadership/initiative 
to nurture others
even if it will dim their own light.....

Pluto 'wants' to transform this....
not change it: transform!
Pluto doesn't like cutting corners,
it wants to clean out everything that is not right
and replace it from the inside out.

What happened in your family?
Did old patterns came up that needed to be addressed?
Could you see the mirrors in children?

Did you deal with your emotions?
Did something happen with your parents/brothers/sisters
or in your family?
If so: how does it feel now.....
Are there still strong emotions when you think about it
or can you be grateful and move on....

If you have children you will have 
another mirror to see how it is with your
'hidden' emotions....
Do you want to protect your children and trust
or do you want control and
are a 'curling' parent sometimes.....
Do you allow them to go through their emotions
or do you want to solve those for them....
-an 'excuse' not to deal with your own?-
Can you let them feel that 'mistakes'
are just stepping stones towards themselves....
Can children be themselves with all their emotions,
or.....'do they have to behave'
-meaning: acting in a way that you feel you are 'good'-
Do we have to put labels,
or can a child be a child.....

How do we use the mobile phone?
Did it become your way to socialise?
Do we use it to hide,
not to have to connect in a personal way?

Children/young adults who instead
of learning to make friends in schools,
feel lonely, afraid to connect,
hiding behind their phone......
In France and parts of Australia
children are not allowed to have a phone in class:
after some protest, now the children are happy....

emotions, feeling emotional safe,
protected by 'parents/teachers/institutions/government'
till 'they' can do it by themselves.....

A lot of abuses came to light:
-war in the middle East
-government 'errors'
-unhealed leaders

Did we as society deal with this
did I/you deal with it......

What came to light in your own life?
Did you change it or...transform it....

If not, 
we will be confronted with a different shadow
when Pluto goes into Aquarius....

This shadow will be show us the immature Leo.
Insecurity hidden by loud voices,
or no voice at all...
Leaders who demand,
leaders who misuse social media.
Leaders who are afraid to let their voice be heard,
and don't use social media....

A leader that wants to have his/her own way,
is not a leader......
It is someone who needs control,
control because of insecurity......
This is old energy.....
are we ready to move on?

Where in your life do you still want control,
and do you still believe that you have to proof yourself?

Did we deal with our unhealed emotions since 2008?
Can we be the leader in between other leaders?
Do we realise we all have an unique talent,
one that no one else has 
do we believe we have to be what others want us to be......

This year is a year were we will see both.....
March will be an important month..

When I look back,
I realise how much has happened in my life since 2008:
-old family patterns came up and our family 'split'

-our children moved out and we moved abroad again
 and....came back.

-I was active in a network company and it was an immature
 system...... it helped me and others to heal immature emotions.

-I realised more and more that unhealed emotions can be
 toxic and even lethal....
 Do we listen to each other or do we ask:
 'how are you?' and do we expect 'good'......
 Are we open for a is ok that it is 'not good'.....

-more and more I realised that we are all spiritual beings, 
 and religion can be used to control....
 forgetting that all religion start from the same
 feeling: Love...unconditional love, trust....

-I also realised that we are lucky to have lot's of new souls in this world:
 children who show us our unhealed emotions.
 Showing parents their inner wounds.

- Lot's of parents are prepared to look at their old wounds 
  some are desperate to protecting their wounded child
  preventing their kids to learn to live,
  learn to grow.....
  Wanting to be friends instead of parents....
  they NEED parents......
-I also realise that I don't and can't do it for others.....
 I can choose to heal me.....and 
 that is the way I Really can help others....

The song of Whitney Houston says it all.....
The story of her life as well......

'Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all'

Tuesday 17 January 2023

Almost ready to bloom....

Our tree in the garden....

We hoped it would survive.

Last year we cut dead branches

and new leaves came, only not so much.

Now there are fungi growing......

it doesn't look good.

I wonder if it is a mirror to let go.....

To let go of expectations/people/habits

that I 'want' to keep.....

not ready to let go,


they 'have' to move on


I 'have' to let go.....

-...choose to let go is the next step

and 'let it go of me' the last step...probably ;-)-

How is it with you?

What kind of mirrors did you get?

How did Mercury retrograde work for you?

Yesterday I heard that a client passed away,

I heard it on the news,

someone I saw once a year for many year.

It was a shock and I had to think about the mirror

I got just a few days ago....

My Amaryllis was just growing outside it's container...

Jan was a special man,

he became famous as a child,

lived his life as he choose to

and had a natural way of being himself:


Last year he had a reunion of the cast of this play

where he had the leading roll.

He took some props from that time and

talked about happy memory's

only to realise that some people

reacted in not such a nice way.

It made him a bit insecure....

Can we deal with authentic people?

Can you deal with authentic people/children?

How often can we 'just shine'

and BE......

How often do we feel deep down

that we have to proof ourselves.....

How often do we put others down

because our own insecurity.....

It was a year of 'freedom' for him,

I didn't expect that it would be freedom from this life.

'Outside the container'.....ready to bloom.

Are we ready to go outside our container?

Are we ready to be ourselves?

Jan worked with young people,

in schools, shelters

 helping them to be themselves.

He started new projects for schools.

I hope others will continue with this.


like schools, shelters

should remember that we live in a different time

so -young- people need different tools

to learn how to live in a new society.

I hope the directors and managers

have the courage to make these changes

in their systems,

so everyone can feel save to be themselves.

What can we do?

Are we going inside and remember our light?

I will remember a sentence from the roll Jan played:

'Ik bid niet vur breune bone!'.....

-I don't pray for kidney beans!-

He didn't want to pray for something he hated.

He said it in a time when food was scares

and you had to be grateful for everything on your plate.

Do you dislike something but....

'think' you have to accept it 'because'......

Are you open to question this thought

and......let it go?

Or....can you let is go of you..... 

I will remember Jan as someone who was questioning everything,

authentic, pure and.... 

not always remembering

that he 'just' had to shine.....

shine 'above the container'.....

He was very close to his family

and I am sure he will be missed.,

I am sure he made a change in this world,

a change to help us move into this 'new age'


I am also human:

 I would have liked him to be a 100

and be in the spotlight again....

People thanking him for being the leader

that showed them 

that being YOU

was the only thing you had to be...

I Know he would be proud

and.....I believe,

he will see it from were he is now....


Tuesday 3 January 2023

On our way back to unconditional love....

 If you feel depressed

this must be a terrible quote.....

'I know I don't have to feel like I do,

but I do and I can not find anything that is good!'

If you do and you don't have anyone

you can share this feeling with:

send me an email

even if we never met before......

it is ok to feel bad AND.....

to let someone know

is a first very important step!


your feelings matter.

If you can go to the next step:

what would you like,

what is your wish......

Even if you think it will never be possible:

humor me......

what IF it is possible.....

imagine the best world for you.....

If your body is not serving you

the way you would want it to,

it could be difficult to love life

and be happy.....

Can you look at the things your body

IS doing for you?

Is it breathing the air that you need?

Is it bringing you to the places you want to?

Can it hug someone and 

can it be hugged by someone?

Can it help you to connect with the outside world:

putting on the t.v,

using a tablet or mobile?

Find something and be grateful......

even if it is small.

Being grateful is a powerful energy,

that helps you to receive more 

of what you choose to....

Perhaps you want to much of your body....

Is your body showing you to take it easy......

to let you remember

that your body is not what you are,

it is 'just' your vehicle on this earth.....

Important.....only not most important,

you are a human Be ing....

not a human Do ing.....

If you are worried about relationship/family/friends,

Know they are mirrors:

are you worried about yourself?

about your self worth?

Do you want to control others

because a part of you still believes 

that you are the only one

who knows how it 'should' be?

Take time to have a good relationship with YOU....

How do you talk to yourself when no one is there?

Do you still hear a parent talking?

How do you treat yourself?

Do you still hear someone from you childhood talking?

Are you allowed to rest,

do you trust that you will receive all that you wish?

Do you still hear teachers/society/family talking?

If you don't have what you wish,


because you are where you are now

because it was your wish 

from your inner consciousness/your inner child....

The part that hasn't reached maturity yet......

With the retrograde energy

you will get the opportunity to look inside and heal

or.....find reasons to 'hate' the world.....

For 2023 you can find million reasons 

to hate life and hate the world,

hate the government.

You also can find million reasons 

to be happy and love life.

What will be your focus?

YOU have everything inside of you that you need...

YOU have the power....

YOU are unconditional love and 

on your way back to it.....

YOU are born on this planet Earth

as a spiritual being who choose 

to learn to live an earthy life....

A life of abundance and joy

A life together with others

A earthy life that goes so much slower

than spiritual energy......

So......we are learning to be


taking it step by step,

getting our mirrors/shadows

to 'help' us and....

respect others who are on the same path as we.....

Monday 2 January 2023

2023....BE YOU!

 A new year, 2023.

A year starting and ending with Mercurius retrograde:

a year to start within.....

a year to re-think,

re-shape, re-set,

re-evaluate, re-do.....

It is a year about self worth, self esteem, 

relationship to our parents and children,

attachment, dependency, rejection, grieve, sharing.....

Also a year of new beginnings:

take action for a new start,

YOUR start!

You only can do this, 

if you nurture yourself

and know what YOU need.....

We are all in this transformation,

accepting that we are not there yet


we can choose to heal and take action

or stay in our victim role, self deception,

withdrawal and fantasy.

We are on the bridge....

the bridge from Saturn to Uranus

and we 'meet' Chiron 

-our wound- 

in the middle.

From 2010 till 2018 Chiron was in Pisces:

we learned to follow our intuition 

and manage our individual boundaries.

If we didn't: we could withdraw and 'step out',

be 'the victim'.....

From 2018 till 2027 Chiron is in Aries.

We are healing our identity and purpose:

self healing, self nurturing and moving forward.

We face our fears and hurt,

we accept it and....move on.

Move to the other side of the bridge

were we find Uranus....

our freedom to be ourselves

respecting others to be themselves as well....

It is also the year were two major planets

are moving signs.

Planets that are important for us as society.

Saturn will go from Aquarius to Pisces:

are we spiritual or 'floaty'....

are we grounded and in the process of healing

or do we act as an ostrich......

Do we believe 'our group' is right,

or do we realise we are all One group.

What will society do?

Will there be groups that put spirituality in a bad light

or do we realise more and more 

that there is more

than what we can see with our eyes.

Instead of 'floaty' we are spiritual,

we accept and Know this is part of us aswell.

Pluto will go from Capricorn to Aquarius.

When it went from Sagittarius to Capricorn,

we were confronted with the excesses of Sagittarius:

we wanted to much wasn't grounded....

Capricorn 'showed' us to be 'realistic' again

and in 2008 we had to come back 'to earth':

money, power and love is one energy...

What is going on now.....

Are there to many rules?

Do people live in fear instead of trust....

Do we realise we are all One

and that what happens with people

in other country's effects us as well......

Pluto in Aquarius will show us 

were our shadows are....


we have to deal with it, 'solve it'.

Social Media and internet -also Aquarius-

connects us with all people,

it gives us access to information


is there honesty, respect

or do we use it not always in the best way....

Pluto will make sure that we have to deal

with dishonesty.......

like the banks had to deal with dishonesty in 2008....

Mars is retrograde till Jan. 12.

Take that time to let go of mental fog:



re-act instead of react.

Till then go inside,

make a vision board it you didn't make one yet.

Be patient, trust.....

Know, that it is not the time to act in the outside world,

wait.....and go inside

probably you need to re- do something before acting.

Have an amazing 2023,

remember to ground if you are overwhelmed:

-walk, swim, go on a bike ride

-eat good food, read good books, see good movies

-treat your inner child with love and understanding

and be open to receive


-great people

-the job you dream of

-the partner that mirrors you and helps you grow.