Sunday 21 March 2021

New beginnings take time.....

 It looks like the old Amaryllis,

till you look closer:

at the bottom you see a new sprout

breaking through.....

Are we ready as society for a change,

or not yet.....

Often we want it 

the way we think is best it the best way?

We had elections in Holland

and now there are more party's in parliament then before.

That is a nice thing about democracy:

everyone is being heard,

and can decide to choose.

The challenging part is to take the consequences as well....

With so many party's 

they have to work together

to form a coalition.

They have to listen to each other

and find a way to make it work

for all of them.

Respect for each others opinions

and 'giving in' is part of this.

This is Saturn/Uranus:

can we do this 

or do we 'think'

that we are the only one that knows 'the' truth.....

Do we trust each other,

and do we realise,

that we all want the same.

We all want what is best for society


are we stuck in our own way of thinking....

Are we ready to work together,

did we heal our 'wounded power'

or do we still want others to be ready,

to be ready to do it OUR way......

I finished Obama's book 'A promised land'

and realised how tough it is to be a leader.

The media can make lies into truths and

sometimes as a leader you have to react

to set the record straight

because lies are starting to become truths

if you don't....

-he had to do it with his birth certificate.....-

I realised that Donald Trump could

became 'respected' because

the media didn't confront him when he told lies


some people got to believe the lies as truths,

still believe them.......

After his first year in office, 

a lot of friends and family contacted him

to ask if he was ok 

and he didn't know why.

He thought he was ok.....

did he miss something?!?

When he investigated he found the reason

by looking at pictures of him in the media.

Now they showed pictures of him,

looking worried, 

walking alone and with shoulders slumped.

Totally different pictures then when he was 

campaigning and winning the election:

those pictures showed a smiling, energic man.

It was 2009.....

lot's of challenges in the economy:

do we realise how powerful the media is

and how much are we influenced by this?

Media can 'help' to trust or  'help' to make people fearful.....

How come we gave the media so much power....

Is it because we were not ready yet to deal with our own power?

It could be, changed/is changing....

As a leader you have to make tough decisions

for the benefit of all,

you know some of them look bad,

but you have to make them

because you know the bigger picture

and not all people do.

Are you prepared to make these choices

even if not all people understand them?

It is like parenting:

sometimes you set boundaries kids don't like,

but you still do, because it is needed to protect them.

-like not walking the street when the lights are red...-

Reading the book, 

I realise how challenging democracy is,

and how deep old ways are still in society.

We can change.....

I am sure of it!

Only we need to have patience,

take it one step at a time.

Only if we are prepared to listen to hear,

and not listen to answer

can we make the change together.

All these party's in Holland,

are a sign for me 

that more and more people are waking up.

Realising that they have their own power is great,


can we also take the next step?

If we want to transform society

we need to work together

or else we will get another 'dictatorship'....

another group who says 'we ARE the truth'...

It is as with people who are against regular medicine

and for homeopathy.......sometimes they are as 

strict and stubborn as what they oppose to......

Would it be great if we could use the best of these two?

How will it go in Holland?

Can there be an AND/AND coalition


are we as society not ready yet.....

Is it like the Amaryllis:

a new start from the bottom,

but it is not coming through yet....

This Saturn/Uranus will be with us the whole year

....we get lot's of opportunity's 

to show we can make the change...

Let's be honest to ourselves,

do we act from power

or do we act from pain....

I see articles about fraud in the election.....

These come from people who don't like the outcome:

how is it with their trust....

how is it with yours.....

The demonstration against climate change went peaceful

as I wrote in my last blog......that is showing real power....

The demonstration against the corona rules were violent....

was it a real demonstration of 'just' rebellion.....

The change will come....I am sure....

the quicker we decide to deal with ourselves,

the quicker we create a society we like to have....

Let's start creating,

beginning with our own lives.

What is your first step?

Wednesday 17 March 2021

Solar panels....

 Can you relate?

I had a day when I had this feeling....

My energy was low

and I had to make a conscious decision

to step out of this.....

I went out for a walk...

It was raining,

there was mud

and there were a lot of people contacting me

who felt the same: 'in the mud'....

I walked and realised that

I wished for the Sun to come out,

the temperature to be higher,

the sauna's, restaurants and the terraces 

to be open......

I wished 

instead of accepting....

I stayed with the feeling

and realised a control issue was coming up.

I was not in 'the now'....

A control issue:

not accepting the way it is,

not dealing with old issues,

pain and hurt...

Not because you don't want it

but because the defence mechanism 

you developed in the past,

was more profitable for you as protection....

More profitable for a younger version of you,

a version you aren't anymore,

only are not ready to let go.....yet....

even though you are older and wiser now....

This part made sure you felt you could survive,

that people loved you:

why should you let it go?

 Do you recognise this 'control issue'?

Where is it in your life?

Do you realise it is something old,

something you don't need anymore?

Something that is blocking you

to live the life you want to live?

It is something that comes up,

so you can deal with the Saturn/Uranus

in your own life and bring it in balance again?

Was it really about the sun, the sauna and the restaurants

or was this just my projection.....

It turned out it was my projection.....

My control issue has to do with people:

clients, friends, family...

I like all of them to be 

'happy, healthy and in peace'.

I don't think that is such a bad thing

if it wasn't for feeling responsible

for those who are not feeling like this.... if it is my duty and responsibility

to make them feel good again.....

forgetting that 'the only thing'

I have to do, 

is helping others

to feel and recover their own strength,

while developing my own strength and power.....

So what is my poison?

My poison is a poison that lot's of woman

and health professionals have:

putting yourself second......

In the last part of New Amsterdam

we see a new doctor who's theme

is 'self love'.......

Self love, so you have enough energy

to be the best you can be 

so you can give the most you can give.....

What do you do for self-love?

Do you think you're worth it?

Do you set boundaries, fences

and build bridges.

Do you know why you can not accept 

the world as it is now,

why you want to be in control?

-....and then I didn't have electricity and no internet.....

We choose for Solar panels,

and not everything was ready electricity wise:

'old stuff' had to go out, 'new stuff' had to go in

and....that takes time....

To use the free energy of the Sun

you 'only' need an converter.

I realised that it is as our life:

our Star sign, our Sun sign

shows our inner power,

the way we are supposed to shine. 

While living, 

we develop 'clouds' before the sun

and we temporarily forget to shine

till we become conscious again 

and remember that we are love,

that we are powerful....)

In Holland there were two kinds of demonstrations last weekend:

one against the corona rules and one for climate control.

One was peaceful and loud, the other one violent and loud....

Do you feel 

you have to defend yourself? 

Are you explaining your actions

as if you have to proof yourself,

or can you 

'just Be'...


that you are just like the Sun,

powerful and love,

born to shine,

each in it's own way.

Could it be that we forgot,

forgot because society/people let us believe

early on in our life,

that we were not good just the way we are.....-Saturn-

Let's choose to shine,

let's choose for others to shine,

let's look and deal with our projections, our clouds,

so we all can feel our power again,

our strength, our love.

Perhaps we need to find 'our own converter' first

before we can transfer, make the change,

and give.

It took our Solar panels a day,

with some help of professional,

and as from tomorrow they can give back..

Did your find yours yet

and/or do you need help?

Ask and look around,

accept the signs

and choose happiness.

-You can choose to read this out the I form
and......realise how powerful you are...-

Wednesday 10 March 2021

Fences and bridges.....part 2


fences and bridges,

boundaries and freedom.....

It is so easy to talk about government,

big company's, institutions 

and point out what's all wrong,

and what should be changed.....

It is not so easy if you talk about smaller institutions,

like family's are,

then it becomes personal,

we talk about 'roots'....

Yesterday I saw the interview of Harry and Megan.

I realised that they are mirroring a lot of family's in the world,

most likely all family's....

In family's there are lots of

unspoken rules and regulations

that everybody follows because

'that is what you do or you don't belong'......

For Megan it was strange when Harry asked 

her 'you know how to do a curtesy?'

when meeting his grandma.

For him it was 'just a rule you had to follow'.

Her reaction: 'For your grandma?!?',

because in her family you wouldn't do this.

Harry talks about 'being in a prison',

if he describes his brother and father.

'How come you didn't see that before?!?"


He was quiet.....

'I didn't realise it, it was just the way we lived'...

Megan knew about the rules in the royal family,

however 'knowing' about them

is different than living by them.... 

When she started feeling depressed,

it took time for her to open up,

even to Harry and even then

they could not get the help they needed.....

When they choose for themselves,

they lost protection....

'Luckily I had my mom's heritage'

How is it in your family?

Are there rules and regulations as well?

Unspoken and undocumented but very real 

and if you don't follow them.....

you are 'out'.....?

Where/Are all people welcome in your family?

Do they need to have the same religion,

the same 'social' standard,

the same education level?

Are people welcome

with different idea's about sexual preference,

about unions,

about abortion

about politics.....?

This is all Saturn,

an immature Saturn.

You need rules and morals as a child

to learn how to live in this world.

You get them from your parents, 

your family, the church, 

and the society/country you live in.

They learn you to be patient, to work hard,

so you can grow up to be a independent

and responsible member of society...

When you are an adult -around 28 years of age-

you should have changed this immature Saturn

into a mature one.

Meaning that you keep the rules and regulations

that are good for you 

and you let go the rules and regulations

that are not anymore.

You have formed a consciousness 

and are responsible for yourself.

You are older and wiser and realise

that some of the rules and regulations

are outdated and need to change.

Uranus is helping you to break free

in a responsible way.

Harry did this.....

He realised early on that it was not always easy

to be himself in his world.

Mom and dad had different rules did something that 

'wasn't done': she choose for herself.

The family didn't like that and....

there were no bridges.....

You also saw in Harry's life

 this Uranus energy:

he wanted to break free,

and he rebelled 

instead of making changes....

As he said in the interview: 

'I didn't realise the prison I was in'.....

- most likely he felt deep down,

that if he would choose for himself,

the same thing could happen 

as what happened with his mom...-

Isn't that what we see in the world?

People are in a prison and don't realise they are in one.

And I don't mean the prison of corona rules....

Do we see in what prison we are in?

Are we afraid what would happen if we choose

for our selves and be free?

Do we still believe that the only way is

or/or instead of and/and,

do we forget next to fences there are bridges aswell?

When he met Megan,

something changed......


Old patterns came up 

but being in the royal family seemed workable.


in these times with Saturn/Uranus it is as if

we can not hide anymore,

if something is not ok, it needs to change.

How far do you go to stay in your 'prison'....

do you stay for security, enough money

even if it means you are not happy,

or do you go for freedom,

using your own boundaries

to be in balance and be happy?

How afraid are you 

and how comfortable is your comfort zone?

Harry and Megon show not only fences 

but also bridges....

'I want to work on my relation with my dad....'

'We still want to be there if they need us....'

'I deeply respect my grandma...'

Fences AND bridges

Saturn AND Uranus......

How come people are so emotional about it all....

Is it because they show us a mirror?

Are we afraid of choosing because

deep down there is still hurt from 

a choice we had to make in the past/as a child?

Do we 'think' we don't have the courage in ourselves to 

choose for us AND be happy?

Do we 'think' it is easier for them than for us?

Do we already have a mature Saturn or ....not yet....

Harry and Megan show us,

that they are just the same as us....

That they have to deal with depression 

if they don't live the life 

they were supposed to live....

That it takes time to step out of our comfort zone,

that 'feeling safe' is so important for us all

and it takes a price....

They show us how strong the energy

of unconditional love is.

Do you recognize it in your life,

in your family?

Did you choose for you and did you have to pay a price?

Could you deal with it, or did you go back.....

was it worth it?

Did you experience unconditional love.....

Freedom comes with a price,

and if you look at Megan and Harry

it is a price you want to pay.....

You need to be patient 

and take time to take care of yourself

and then......

start building bridges

with respect to people 'on the other side'

as they respect you....

For me they cleared a family karma:

what a big gift for all of his family members

and most of all for their son and daughter.

It will most likely chance something in Britain as well...

What will we do?

Do we choose to look at our family patterns?

Do we choose to go from rebel to freedom?

Do we choose to build bridges after we build fences,

or do we stop at building fences?

Do we still believe the crisis we are in

is about the coronavirus,

so we don't have to deal with our fear.

Do we still believe it is about elections

so we don't have to deal with our responsibility.

Do we still want the best outcome

but don't we have the patience to go the way.


do we believe and trust

that all will be as it should be....

We only have to find our own boundaries

and Know we deserve everything that is good for us,

realising we are

'powerful beyond measure'


we are all One...

Tuesday 9 March 2021

Fences and bridges.....

 While walking I see lot's of fences.

Some I like and some I don't like,

but they all do what they are made for.

What are they made for?!?

Are they made 

to make sure that cattle is kept save

or are they made to take away their freedom....?

It depend on which side you are on

and how you see it...

For a farmer 

it can be a way to protect it's cattle from harm,

protection from the dangers outside.

He makes sure there is a nice meadow 

with enough grass for them to eat, 

enough space 

so they will live a good life.

The farmer in return, 

gets milk,

new cattle and meat.

For the cow

it can be a safe environment,

she doesn't have to look for food,

she has company of other cows

and she has enough space to walk around.

Most of the time there are also trees 

to shield her from the sun or the rain.

It is also restricted......

she can not walk by herself to another meadow

to 'meet' other cows or animals.

It sees other animals, like birds, 

flying away and coming to visit.

Does she wants this to,

or doesn't she....

Did she forget what she wanted 

or is she happy and 

does she accept her 'comfort zone'......

Fences are like boundaries,

they are there 

for a reason


it should be good for both party's

for it to work....

I am glad we have a rule of driving on the right side of the road,

and I am sure that English people think it is a silly rule.

But these rules are both good if used in the right country....

I am glad that I am not in charge of a building site.

I am glad others will make sure that they follow the rules

so I can live in a save comfort zone....

It gives me freedom to live my life without worry

of a roof falling on me....

Fences are important,

so are bridges....

This is an old bridge,

still ok, 

but it needs some work

if it wants to stay save 

for people to cross over

It is as with different opinions:

we have to visit each other,

use bridges if we want to connect.

Rules should be good for both party's,

and if they are 

there is respect:

you can come to them,

and they can come to you....

Bridges and fences are needed

to live together in a society.

We all are different And are the same:

with respect for boundaries

and respect for freedom

we all can live a life we love

and make up a family, group or society.

Media tells us what and how to think,

government people in an election 

tell you what you need to hear.

Will they set boundaries to protect you

even though it is not what you like to hear

or will they let you believe boundaries are not needed

and hope that by saying what you want to hear

they will be elected?

It is challenging in these times:

which rules are needed and which are not.

Which are outdated and which are needed

to protect our freedom?

Most important: 

choose from trust instead of fear.

Look in your own life,

do you take responsibility

or do you want others to do it for you.

Are you using fences and bridges

or are you blocking and fighting against....

What are your actions?

Or did you stop looking inside:

believing that someone else knows better....

did you 'forgot' that we get help to change....

If we had to do it all by ourselves, it is 

'as a needle to the prick of its own point'

I agree.....however....

we get our mirrors.

Mirrors from our body,

from loved ones,

from family and people around us,

from our work/society we live in,

from our ability to attract abundance,

from our emotions.....

I believe we are a period of change.

Instead of 

fences or bridges,

Saturn or Uranus,

I or we,

we go to

fences AND bridges,

Saturn AND Uranus,

I AND we.

Do we really want to be the change in the world we like to see....

and realise that traveling into this new world has it challenges,

or do we want to see the change in the world 

without any effort of ourselves.....

It is like cows living without a fence 

complaining that no one brings them food....

It is as a farmer complaining his cows are not giving milk 

but he is not feeding them...

Fences and bridges....

Luckily we have a choice to raise our consciousness.

Unfortunately we don't have to, if we are not ready.

Fortunately we get all the time and all the mirrors we need

till we get it right.....

Monday 8 March 2021

'New Amsterdam'.....part 2

When you go through tough situations in your life,

you need time to grief.

The medical director from New Amsterdam had to grief as well.

He grieved and was running a hospital.

A lot of people were worried about him

and told him 'to grief'.....

However he kept on working.....

Not every one griefs in the same way.....

everyone has to take his or her time,

his or her own time to grieve...

We are all in a time of grieving,

a time of letting go.

Each one in its own way.

How patient are you with yourself?

Most of us could see 

that changes were needed in the world.

The only thing was 

that we wanted it OUR way.....

Lot's of people made life-cycle plans, mood boards,

and imagined a world they thought was best.

Their imagination worked:

energy that was blocking their/our wishes

needed to go.....

like in New Amsterdam......

Max, the medical director had a vision,

and made chances,

these changes put on the candle of others,

so more changes came



mall practice came up,

mis-use of money,

mis-use of power


also unhealed issues in themselves...

If we want to change 

corporate, leaders and managers,

as Max is doing in the hospital,

we also have to realise

that we will have to deal with 

change in ourselves as well.

Like Max has to grief accept and trust,

we have to grieve, accept and trust.

Accept that grieving takes time....

takes all the time it needs.

Time to let go of what was

and the thought of how it should/could be 

and start trust life again....

How safe is our environment?

Can you say what you want and are you being heard

or are you being punished for it.....

Are people to be hold accountable,

are you holding yourself accountable...

You already see it is society:

the old President of France, Sarcozy 

got a jail sentence,

Harry and Megon stepped out of the Royal Family,

letting go of money, gaining rest and love.

In Holland the government blamed parents of fraud,

but this was not the case and they are holding accountable.

How is it in your life?

Are you being heard?

Do you listen to others and do you hear them?

Where do you need healing

so you can live your life fully?

Do you take responsibility?

Can we 

in the times we are in now,

give each other time to grief,

to let go of what was or 

what we thought would be....

I realised I got a feeling that I had

a long time ago 

when we came to Holland in the Summer

after a year of living in  Saudi Arabia.

I loved it there:

I did the things I could

and accepted the things I couldn't do.

After 8 years something changed.

When I was in Holland:

I wanted to wear short skirts and loved

to go to little cafe's and restaurants.

How come I had this 'all of a sudden'......

I realised that deep down I missed 'freedom',

freedom to choose.....

A few years ago we went back to Saudi

and now it was different....

When Loes visited and we went shopping,

we realised that wearing

a long black dress with embroidery was nice

and......easy: it gave us a lot of freedom.

I realised then, 

that I felt more free inside 

than I did before...

How come I got the same feeling again?
Probably deep down I have some healing to do,
healing that has to do with
with Uranus/Saturn.....

'New Amsterdam'.....

a new world with rules and with freedom.

With these new rules and freedom

old rules and lack of freedom in people 

are touched.

Being good and doing good for all people around you, 

doesn't mean you feel good about yourself

and....that needs to be healed as well.....

Do we need control,

do we need to be in charge

or can we trust

and Know our power,

own our mirrors.

While on a path of healing

we can keep on sharing 

our unique gift to the world,

because we all have this....

even if you don't feel it ....yet....

Take all the time you need to grief and to heal,

be patient.

Lets keep on imaging a world of 

love, freedom, 

happiness and respect for each other.

Lets accept that we don't know how 

the path is for the world,


we can choose OUR path,

making sure 

that our candle is burning,

is spreading light....

Monday 1 March 2021

'New Amsterdam'.....


I started watching 'New Amsterdam',

a story about a hospital in New York

with a new medical director.

It looks like the story of the world right now:

we need a new director.....

someone who put the 'patients' first,

someone who chooses to live his passion,

even if he has to 'change the rules'.

All for the best of 'society'/the hospital.

Lead by example.

He changes the rules and

people in charge also find their passion again.

They are confronted with their own past

and get the opportunity to heal....

Is it easy? is challenging,

especially because this medical director

needs healing too......

He needs healing AND follows his passion....

How is it with you?

Are you following your passion

while keep on healing yourself?

Do you realise how important YOU are

for the whole of society?

If New Amsterdam

and realise that your courage

will help others......

Your courage....not your emotions,

your passion.....not your anger,

your love.....not your pain

will make the change......

Let's meet this person inside of us,

that we do not know yet....

Barack Obama had challenges with his

defence team when he became president: 

they leaked to the press

so the public could 'help them' to get 

what they wanted......

He asked the leaders in and reminded them

to talk to him......

His job was to look at the whole picture

so he could make a decision

that was good for the country and

for all of them in the long run.....

they stopped 'leaking to the press'...

Those people realised 

they didn't know the big picture


that their president would listen careful

to their opinions 

AND would take them very serious

when taking a decision.....

Can we trust our leaders?

If not.....what does this say about us.....

do we trust ourselves.......

Do we go in the pain 

or are we still running away from it....

The medical director in New Amsterdam,

wants to run away and.....has a passion.

His passion is connected with a situation in his life,

a situation he doesn't want to deal with....

How addicted are we?

Addicted to work,

addicted to helping,

addicted to smoking,

addicting to sweets,

addicted to sports,

addicted to a special diet,

addicting to complaining,


addicted to escape reality.....

What is the reality right now?

As I see it,

the reality shows us 

we are in a 'chaordic' time period:

in a chaos to restore a new order.

We all want to enjoy life,

we want to feel save and secure,

we also like to stay in our comfort zone


this zone is not the best for us anymore,

not for us personally and not for us as society.

If it was, 

we would have another reality

and less challenges....

The air quality is better because there is less flying.

People appreciate nature: they walk and bike

and see what they forgot to see...

Parents get more time with their kids and

older people are more appreciated

now we can not visit them so often.

Doctors, nurses, teachers, 

get more respect and are challenged as well:

are there aspect in their job descriptions that are outdated,

that needs to be different?

Are we 'in prison' as some people say,

or don't we know how to deal with our freedom......

Don't we realise that freedom 

only can be freedom if there are

boundaries as well....

Do we still believe

all we see and read,

believing we have to be 

as 'they' say we have to be,

to be happy?

Are we really that free?

Could it be that social media/media

is not free because there are no boundaries?

That it is becoming a self made prison

till we set boundaries.

I believe lot's of people can take their responsibility,

like sitting out at a restaurant with distancing.

I believe that people who own a restaurant

want to do what is responsible

and have people have a good time.

I also believe some will not and.....

that will be a small group,

they should be holding accountable...

I also believe I don't know the big picture,

and the best I can do is being the best I can be....

Let's remember 

how important our immune system is,

let's regulate social media,

let's sponsor healthy food instead of junk food.

Let's talk about responsibility,

responsibility to live a healthy live,

with enough time to rest,

to enjoy time with loved ones

and time to live your passion

or find out what our passion is.

give yourself time...
You don't always know
which parts in you need healing....

Luckily we are each others mirrors ;-)

My 'dead' bulb flowered and is now dying again....

it's circle is round.....

it is time for us to go to the good times again,

starting with opening of the contact professions next week,

and I hope soon the sports clubs and restaurants again.

And while waiting we have time to look inside.....