Monday 31 October 2022


Last week, I woke up one morning with an 'old' feeling....

A feeling of not being happy,


A feeling that you don't want to do anything AND

deep down you Know that doesn't help......

I remembered the flower bulbs that needed to go in the ground

and decided that I could do that.....

146 bulbs......that is a lot...

I got them as a birthday present.

Blue en yellow flowers will be in our garden....

if I choose to plant them.......

When I finished, 

I didn't really feel much better

only.....'a job that needed to be done, was done'

In the afternoon I remembered 

there were some more bulb,

bulbs from last year...

they needed to be planted as well.....

I did those in the afternoon.....

An eclipse is 'helping' us to bring up old patterns,

we have a choice how to deal with it.

Do we accept the feeling AND do something

or do we stay in the feeling and let the emotions overwhelm us... we run away from our feelings.....

This time I could accept.... and do something,

something I couldn't do with the same kind of eclipse in the past.

-I mention the times in the last blog-

I walked in the garden this morning

and realised that the garden looks the same

as last week, only......

there are lot's of bulbs in the ground

that weren't there last week.....

I also realised that I feel happy and grateful.

Realise that sowing seeds, planting new thought,

planting bulbs, walking in the forest,

smiling to someone in a shop,

imagining the life you choose to

will help.......

You change energy and.....

even if you don't see the results yet,

they will come.....

Like the bulbs I put in the ground....

I have to wait till spring before they bloom


most likely it will not be exactly what I thought,

but it could be much more and 

more beautiful then I imagine....

I trust..

I like to be the  cycle breaker.

I realise that if I really choose to be one,

I have to let go of my comfort zone....every time again.

It is easy to believe that you 'are there'

because you left your comfort zone already so many times....


life is growing and you only grow 

if you are prepared to let go of your comfort zone.

You don't have to make big steps:

small steps, small changes

are not so scary....... 

and so much easier for you inner child

to deal with.

The north Node is in Taurus: 

big steps will make this energy afraid,

and will hold on to what it already has because 

'I know what I have and perhaps it get's worse if I change'.....

What if it gets better?!?

I planted bulbs,

contacted some people,

was quiet,

went for a walk,

did some 'emotional investigation'


I woke up better the next day.

The Lunar eclipse 

-Moon/Uranus/ North Node opposite Sun/Mercury/Venus-

makes a square with Saturn:

we have to take our responsibility

AND be unique, ourselves.

The challenge: 

do we set boundaries,

do we investigate or.....

do we believe everything we hear and see....

What will society mirror us?

Will we go from emotion to intuition,

or do we 'lash out'......

There are Mid-term election in the USA......

what are other governments/organisation showing us

and....can we AND be patient AND be responsible....

Most likely we will get mirrors in our family's:

are there still old patterns/structures that are outdated

and preventing people/children to be them selves?

Remember the bulbs if you feel overwhelmed.

You have to take action: plant them....

a small act but very very very important!

And then......

trust, be patient....

Know you don't have to do it all by self,

you are being helped..

Sunday 30 October 2022

Lunar eclips.

Eclipse are a about Moon nodes 
connecting with the Sun and Moon. 

Moon nodes tell us something \
about 'our path' on this earth, our soul purpose.
It shows our old habits/talents/comfort zones
and what we 'need to ' learn or re-learn:
new paths, courage and finding balance.

Nodes are about your purpose in life
and karma.
So we are supposed to let go of karma,
and 'climb' the mountain towards our purpose.
Being determent, patient and open for new.

Our south node is familiar's talents
can keep us in our comfort zone and 
prevent us from growing....

Eclipses are very powerful: 
they 'help' you to get out of your comfort zone
and to grow....
The Moon nodes are now in Taurus and Scorpio,
starting Jan. 2022 till July 2023.
Scorpio as the South Node: the past
and Taurus as the North Node: what we 'need' to learn....

Scorpio: passion/commitment/transformation and also 
war/wanted to control/cancer/power over....
Taurus: nature/safety/trust/honest/quality and also
stubborn/jealous/ possessive/materialistic.
The nodes changes signs every 18 months.
Every 18 1/2 years 
it will connect with your North Node.
this means that after 9/10 years 
it will connect with your South Node.
Perhaps you remember what happened with you
when you were this age.....

Most likely it was something Karmic.....
did you stay in this energy
or ......could you connect with your North Node.....

The Nodes help us 
to grow in our personal life,
and ....
if you are confronted with Karma 
when you are 9/10 years old,
you need loving and understanding parents.....
because you are touched by Karma.....old energy.....
What happened in your life?

Talented kids can have a tough time 
when the focus is only on there talent.....
Scary kids can have a tough time 
when the focus is only on the hurt......

Do you focus on the tree that fell down,
or do you also see that only part of the tree fell:
an other part is still standing.....

We, as society had the same Moon Nodes
from May 2003 till Nov. 2004
and before that
from Nov. 1984 till April 1986
What happened in your world at that time?
Do you see the spiral path and deeper truths?

Do you see that some trees are on the ground,
fallen down.
Others are supported by trees around it,
while others 'just' stand up straight,
and showing beautiful leaves.
Then you also see small trees...
just starting in life.
The bottom is covered with leaves:
making sure to give back to the new generation of trees.....

For me this is a picture of life:
not all pillar of life
are in the same stage....

While we have to let go in one pillar,
we can support,
start something new, 
and give back for the next generation,
in other pillars.....

Most important:
Can you trust, are you open to let go of control,
Can you accept the spiral as growth,
not as punishment.....
Can you accept that energy 'just is'.....
no judgement.....

 Nov. 8 we have a Lunar eclipse,
feel and accept your emotions,
let go of fear and control 
and......let love in..... 

Tuesday 25 October 2022

Eclipse season

 When you look at this picture:

what do you see?

Is it a dark sky that looks threatening

or a sky that will clear the air.......?

Today there is a solar eclipse 

and the beginning of November

a lunar eclipse.

Eclipse season: 

a time to let go,

a time to look at mirrors,

a time of change.....


Power over/ Inner power



The eclipse is in the signs of Taurus and Scorpio,

Uranus is involved and Venus.

In Holland we had similar situations in the media:

people were missing and were found dead in the water.

A family who came back from a wedding,

and a child and her caretaker.......

it took days before they were found....

no one had a clue where they were....

There was an accident with 2 boats: 2 people died,

2 are missing.

Water, accidents, loved ones

and in these days of social media and camera's everywhere

they couldn't be found....

What do we need before we look inside and...

'find ourselves'?

Can we trust or do we look for conspiracy theory's ......

Do we hold on to the past,

when a lot was going on in governments/organisations 

that was not ok 

and did we decide to never trust again?

Or do we Know that we are grown/healed 

and will hold the persons accountable when needed

and the Cosmos always wants what is best for us......

22 years ago I was afraid of snakes.

When Bas decided to have a snake as a pet,

it was challenging for me.

'Herman' died this summer,

he shed a lot of times and when he died

it was a shock.

For me he was beautiful and showed me that letting go is good,

and needed if we want to grow....

Perhaps his dead is also a reminder

that we don't need him anymore as a mirror.....

A snake is 'Scorpio', a pet 'Taurus......

If I look at the first picture,

I see the tree, the tree that will go very soon,

I see the bushes with fruits, 

the autumn leaves

and fences.

I also see something that will soon be 'the past'

and I wonder how it will be next year.....

I am sure it will be good....

perhaps not as I imagined it,

but...perhaps even better!

Most likely, rain and perhaps storms are needed,

but for sure the sun will come out again

and we will move to the next stage....

I will make a picture from the same spot next year.....

Monday 17 October 2022

Cell memory.....

 I re-read an article I shared on Facebook in 2018.

2018, the year Uranus started in Taurus 

and Pluto started the end of his journey through Capricorn

This article talks about the cell biologist Bruce Lipton.

He claims and showed that 95% of challenges in life

are because of stored believes and feelings in our cells.

Believes, habits and feelings....

most of the time not our own....

It makes us tired.....

and sometimes ill....

'We will let go more in the coming 10 years 

then we did in the last 300.....'

Uranus 'wants' to be free and unique,

'wants' to be part of society,

it wants inclusion not exclusion.

It 'Knows' that everyone has an unique quality,

a quality we All need if we want a free society.

In 2018 it started in Taurus:

how safe and secure are we all?

Do we love ourselves unconditional?

Do we trust or do we control?

In 2020 we got a test: Saturn squared Uranus

and now it is the last time we are being 'tested'.

Not tested as being punished,

tested of how far we came and.....

if we need more tests we will get them,

and we will pass :-)

And in this time 'Niek' is born. 

His name meaning: Victory with/from the people.....

All the children born from 2020 till this year,

brought this energy with them.....


They will help us to go over the rainbow bridge of Chiron:

dealing with our wound so we can be unique and free.

If I look at this picture, I can relate.....

What will we do as society?

Are we taking our responsibility and clearing our old and outdated cell memory

or do we want to hold on to it:

let the younger generation inherit it.....

feeling that being in control is easier than to trust....

that love is conditional....

It is autumn: nature is showing us that letting go is part of life

challenging and beautiful.....

The coloured leaves, the fruits, the sunny days in the forest.


the dark rainy days, days were you can feel 'depressed'....

days were you can light a candle, hide under a blanket,

start thinking about Christmas or about all the things that are not ok.....

It is the time of the year to let go.....

Let go and choose....

Choose to make space for new,

choose to remembering the good, 

forgiving when needed

and be patient....

Even if you don't know what will come: trust.....

Like nature will make sure there will be new leaves,

it will make sure there is something new coming for you....

Letting go of old cell memory's is necessary,

necessary so there is space for new...

What did you do since 2018?

Did you let go, or did you get 'help',

or both....

Did you 

-drink extra water,

-went in nature,

-did what you loved to do: dance, write, sing etc.

-set boundaries and let people go

-choose positive energy in reading, watching, social media, people

-did you install an 'anti virus program' in you and are you using it

 or do you need to do this in the coming weeks?

We, as society, got 'help':

-corona came to help us to let go, 

 to realise that we are All society.

-a blast in Lebanon, a war in Ukraine,

 governments that forgot why they were chosen....

-people died, people got sick, and new children were born

 sometime still.....

Can you silence your mind?

Sometimes I can't.....luckily I recognise it.

I realise I picked up so much when I was a child,

that for me it was 'normal' to have this 'busy' mind.

It was not a very friendly mind,

it was a mind that 'helped' me to survive.

It was also a mind that made sure I could help a lot of people,

and by healing and growing myself,

recognizing this in others.....

So this challenge of my mind is also my talent now.....

It became my talent because of letting go old habits and feelings

and starting new ones....

Letting go of conditional love and opening up for unconditional love.

The most challenging part: setting boundaries,

letting go of people, install an anti-virus program.....

The most challenging part is feeling what is going on

AND to Be.......

Next year Pluto will go into Aquarius for a few months 

and in 2024 it will stay there.

In 2025 Uranus will have his last year in Taurus....

The coming years there will be a lot of changes.

What do you feel: 

Fear or excitement,

control or trust.

KNOW that because you are here,  

you have everything inside you to deal with whatever comes:

energy doesn't make a mistake!

Life is an adventure!

Let's choose to raise on love.

Let's choose to be patient with ourselves when letting go

of old cell memory's and also be patient with each other.

Let's decide to let it stop with us,

that the new generation 

can build a society of love trust and peace.

And we.....we can show them now how it is done

by enjoying, relaxing and having fun

even though there are some challenges ;-)

Friday 7 October 2022

From a fixed mindset to growth and benefit one....

 What is your mindset?

Do you believe it should be or/or or and/and.....

Do you judge yourself or are you receiving,

realising your mindset is

AND growth AND.... 

still 'fixed' sometimes....

For me it is always important

to go back to the 5 pillars:


Where in my life do I still believe that

it is as it is AND....that no change is possible....

Where in my life do I have to accept

that it is as it is because some situations can not be changed:

like being a professional ballet dancer and not a flexible body.....

Where in my life do I want something,

only don't want to do what is needed to be there:

like extra study, saving and waiting,

instead of wanting instant gratification....

-the same for body, relationships, society and finances...-


YOUR inner child is calling you,,,,

are you listening,

are you responding or reacting.....?

The last time we have this Saturn/Uranus square,

Saturn in Aquarius, Uranus in Taurus.

In 1999/2000 there was also a square with these two,

but in the opposite signs....

What did you do then?

Did you know it was the year, Putin got in power?

He used Saturn as 'the father who knows best,

as if the people had no power themselves......

as if they were not mature enough......

What did YOU do then?

Could you be yourself,

did you let go of old patterns

or did you start  a new 'jail'.....

You can choose to get out now....


are you determent, patient and committed enough


does a part of you, the unhealed inner child

choose for instant gratification.....

For me there was a big change the last weeks.

I realised that I was to hard on myself,

an old fixed mindset that 'thought':

' I have to 'do' more instead of 'just be'....

I realise now that I can trust: 

do what is needed,

when it is needed.

I am sure some of you who know me will think:

'but she does already doesn't she?!?'

I did....only not 100%...yet ;-)

I realised I didn't......

and....most likely I was 'almost there'

because now I can choose for myself

AND be there for others,

even if others choose something else.

I can let people be,

trust more and also can let go.

Some people said: 

'you must miss your granddaughter so much

if you are back in Holland'

and.....part of me felt 'should I?!?' 

and another part 'I don't think I do, that wrong?!?'

Does this mean I love her less?!?

-How can you not love a child like her :-))!!-

I realise I can accept what is....

Enjoy the time together AND have the time for me.

Our son and bonus daughter have there own life

and should......

so even if I am there, I shouldn't always be with them....

They are adults now 

and I am still their mother a different way...

Deep down I Know it is good....

just the way it is...

Accepting what is and enjoying what is.


Knowing we are all one,

and we get what we need:

not as punishment, only as a change to heal....

I read somewhere that a woman was asked 

when the time of Aquarius would start:

'When we are all ready and learn to live like that'


-living an authentic life,

-taking responsibility for our own thinking and doing,

-letting go of responsibility's from others

-doing things that inspires you and gives you joy.

We can ask:

how far is society?

Only I think it is more important to ask:

how far am I.....

Can I move from a fixed mindset

to an growth and benefit one.....

Sunday 2 October 2022

Love life and be happy.

Society let us believe,

that if there is pain,

or if you make 'mistakes',

something is wrong with you......

Isn't that strange?

As a child that is one of the ways

you learn....

what happened with us, adults, 

that we forgot....

Could it be that 'school' happens?

'School' meaning you have to  be 

what 'someone' thinks you have to be

as a certain age.......

forgetting we are all individuals,

not all the same and.......

that this is great: 

it makes the world so much more interesting!!

Is home schooling the solution?

I don't believe so......

I believe children need other children,

need a community,

need to see that difference is ok,

that if someone is different and goes on a different pace,

that that is ok....

it is 'just different than their own'....

If by 'home schooling' you mean you have

to look close to home,

inside of you,

then I think it is the only way....

If we have schools that look at the diversity of children

as something special,

as mirrors,

as healers on each other paths,

than it will just be part of life.

School will not be an institution,

but, like parenting,

another part of life.

A part were you learn to be more and more yourself,

learn to recognize your unique quality's 

in your own time...

Always remember, 

there is still a part in you that is a child...

A playful, adventures, joyful and trusting part,

a part you can 'wake up' again,

if it fell asleep...

Oct. 2 Mercury will go direct, 
Oct. 8 Pluto,
and Oct. 23 Saturnus.

We can make steps forward again:
we will get mirrors to let us know 
if we did our inner work
the last weeks and months.
If we have to do something more,
than we get more changes,
don't worry;-)
It's about taking responsibility,
positive self talk,
and remembering 
we are more powerful than we realise.

Good to remember:

everything that is out of our control

we 'only' can accept.....

we 'only' can accept......

we 'only' can accept.....

I repeat this, because my experience is

that people find this the most challenging...

Most people say it, only 

find it almost impossible

to live.

Still, it is the most and important step....

Let's focus on what is in our control....

that is more than enough.

And while you do,
make sure you have fun.
It is autumn:
time of harvest,
time of beautiful colours in nature,
time to let go,
time to go inside were is it warm and cozy.
Give yourself time,
there is as much as you need it!