Monday 19 February 2024

Choose your hard......

 Chiron, the wounded healer is connected this month with the Moons node.

Both in Aries. 

Fierce, frustration, anger,

or using that energy to change,

to speak up if needed

and or take action when needed.

That sounds so easy only.....the wounded healer is involved:

can we go past our wound, is it already healed a bit

or is it still to raw.....

Everyone  has this in his/her chart,

only not on the same spot......

So....were is this energy 

touching your wound?

Mentally, physically, financial, 

society/work or in your relationships....


how is the relationship with yourself?

Chiron was at this same spot in 1974.....a long time ago.....

The Moons node are at the same spot as in the spring of 2007....

and beginning of 1987...

Did something happen for you personally in these years?

How did you react and......

looking back: would you have reacted different

now you know what you didn't know then?

When I look back I can see a pattern.

I learned to speak up for 'the underdog', 'for children',

and when I speak to people who knew me then,

they saw someone who knew what she wanted.

And part of it was true.

I knew what I wanted only 

it was not from a healed place.

I did it because I wanted others to have it easier,

more relaxed, to have more fun, 

to Live more........

It took me a long time before I realised

that it was also good to speak up for ME,

for what I like and choose.....

Heal yourself first
so you can be healing for others.

I started this blog last week
and today when I read it again
to finish it,
I realised how deep this wound can be.....

We 'need' a new bathroom.
So we made an appointment to make this happen.
This sounds easy and something you have to do
if you have a house for years 
with an older bathroom.

We looked at the options
and 'Peter' told us, it could be ordered
and also finished in a few months.
'Great' I said and we start looking
at all the things you need in a bathroom.

When we left, I was glad:
finally it is happening!

This was already 'a red flag'.....
In the afternoon I became sad,
I didn't know why and I talked
about it with Jaap.
'Strange that I feel like this,
I should/we should be happy?!?'

I went for a walk 
and all of a sudden I realised
that deep down I was soooo happy
that finally the bathroom would be renovated,
that I forgot to look what really makes me happy....

Did I like what we choose 
or.....did I 'accept' it 
and would I accept anything
because 'I would be done...finally'......'

I realised that an old wound was touched:
'It is not to bad,
others have less and...
I still can take a shower,
even if I need a 'pipe wrench'
to control the heat...'

Not speaking up, 
because 'I am not worth it'.....
a deep wound....
deeper than I realised.
Our bathroom 
needed a renovation 5 years ago.
We started with the kitchen and.... 
would do the bathroom 'the next year'.
'live happens and you make other plans'....
I realised that deep down I resented that 
more than I thought I did....

Jaap and I talked
he didn't realise how it was for me...
He couldn't: I didn't even know it....
He was not so happy with all of it as well,
we choose to cancel and make a change, 
next week we have a new appointment.

I am sure I would have been ok 
when we would have done it
the way we 'choose' it......
I am also sure it would not have made me 
happy in the long run....

So what do you choose?
Do you make choices form a wounded place
or a healed place?
Do you accept/see/feel your wound you choose to hide the pain......

So what does this mean for the world.
We are in this energy together....

Many country's had or are having elections,
country's are at war.....
What do we choose?

Do we accept the wound, 
afraid to go through the pain,
and choosing from anger and hurt?
do we choose to transform
go through the pain of healing
and choose for a healed wound.....

I don't know......
I only know that if we deal with our own wound first,
we can not only make a change,
we can transform as society.....

Let's have compassion, understanding and patience with each other.
Let's speak up from inner power,
Knowing how challenging life can be sometimes.
Let's have compassion with ourselves
be patient and....

Choose to love, 
choose to have fun,
choose to be curious,
choose to see the other as a mirror of yourself. 

Friday 9 February 2024

We are the world......imagine...

 On one of our bike rides, we saw this fence:

a natural one, with a little help of people.
It is a fence, not a wall, it keeps out and protects
you can see the other side....

In 1997 I was teaching in Doha.
I taught art.
Students could show the techniques I taught
in their own way.
One of the students always used this
to show people throwing stones....

He was an amazing artist and 
a very nice, calm, respectful person.
One day I started talking about 
him choosing the same subject all the time
and all of a sudden I saw a determent, 
committed you adult.

He explained to me, that he, as a Palestinian,
saw what was happening to and in his country
'we don't have anything to fight with,
while the Israelis are shooting at us
and we can not protect us in any other way!'

I asked him how he thought about the Israelis:
'I HATE them, I never will shake hands with them!!'
We talked a bit more and he told me that 
his goal was to be a diplomat in the future.....

A little while later we talked in class
about helping each other in the street
and also what would you do if someone 'saved' you
or saved one you loved.
He was the one who reacted:
 'I would be so grateful!'
I: 'Would you shake his hand?'
He: 'Of course!!'
I: 'What if you found out he was Israeli....'
.....he was shocked and quiet.........

We talked about it a bit more and I told him,
he had a big goal ahead of him 
and could do a lot of good as a diplomat....

I don't know his name anymore,
and I wonder what he is doing now.
Then I realised he reacted from hurt.....
What story's did he hear from his parents/aunts/uncles....?
What did he see.......?

How many more generations are needed
to understand that instead of reacting from pain,
we start healing the pain,
so we can See people 
instead of race/religion/gender/professions......

When do we speak up for people who are suppressed,
because one site still use 'victim ship' and hurt from the past
instead of taking responsibility for it...
When do we break down walls and start making boundaries....

This natural wall reminded me of him
and also of myself:
Can I set boundaries instead of walls....
Am I open to see the other person
or do I already have an opinion.......

I love Jaap AND....
I don't agree with everything he does/believe.
I like clean and ironed clothes AND.....
I don't always like to iron.....
I like to connect with people AND......
sometimes I want to be by myself......

I saw the making of the song 'we are the world'
and the director put a hand written sign on the top of the door:
'check your ego when going in'.
There were all famous musicians/singers in the room:
could they work together to make one song?!?

This is how the Aquarius age looks like:
everyone is shining in his/her own way AND....
together it is make something so powerful,
one person could never have done it by him/herself.....

How is it with our ego?
Is it immature or mature.....
Do you speak up from power or from hurt....
-check your emotions and then you know...-
Are you being quiet 
because of compassion and understanding 
or from fear and hurt...
-check your emotions and then you know....-

We are all a great big family.
Can you make a choice to heal,
to deal with YOUR emotions?
Are you open to accept that inside you
there are parts that are hurt....
not always from you but also from your family/country....

Are you breaking down walls
and create boundaries 
so you are safe AND open to see the other,
is the hurt still so big 
that you are afraid to break down the walls....

we all have wounds and hurt inside of us.....
Also remember: 
we have each other, we don't have to do it all by ourselves...

Imagine and start creating, your own life.
Peace in your body,
your relationships,
your environment,
your mind,
your finances/loving yourself.

Compassion, love, understanding.