Sunday 21 April 2024

Vesta: keep your inner flame burning.

 Three years ago I saw the sign of Vesta in the air.

This year I got the opportunity to visit the temple of Vesta in Rome.

I was very very busy....

Vesta in your chart has to do with your inner fire.

Vesta is the goddess of the hearth, home and family,

it has to do with dedication and retreat.

The eternal flame burning in your heart,

tells you something about your purpose.

'Keep the flame burning'.

Most important meaning is commitment.

In my chart you can see that the challenge for me

is to keep my own inner fire alive....

I can help others to keep theirs burning,

only....I shouldn't forget my own.....

How is is with your inner fire?

Are you committed to what you do?

I had to drive a lot last months

and when I listened to the radio,

the message was:

'It is almost weekend, glad it is the end of the weak!'

'O no, tomorrow a new week will start again,

enjoy the day and do the things you want to do.'

And then, there was a different voice.

A popular singer in Holland had a new recording,

she doesn't do a lot of interviews.

When asked about it she said:

'I earned enough to have a good life,

only I have very clever children who

are going to university abroad '

- I don't know how they become so clever;-) -

so I only work to make sure they can study.'

There was no reaction from the interviewer.....

I loved her honesty: she loves singing, only....

she loves her kids and to be out of the spotlight...

She chooses for herself....

We are in the energy of Uranus/Jupiter in Taurus.

Are you feeling safe to be unique and yourself?

Do you speak up and live your life they way you want it?

Is your body speaking to you and do you want a 'quick fix'

or do you choose to listen to it.....

My body is speaking to me ;-)

and I am listening more and more.

Deep down I picked up emotions that prevented me to grow


also helped me to feel safe and secure....then.....when I was a child....

I am an adult now, only....that child inside of me

thinks/believes I am not always ready to move on...

It is a time for all of us 

to be nice to that inner child,

to let it know that your are the adult now


it is safe......

Communicate with yourself,

respect yourself:

you always did the best you can...

Trust....and now you know better,

choose to be compassionate

and love yourself unconditionaly.

Monday 15 April 2024

Open for new ways......enjoying the path.

 This picture is a reminder......

If you are feeling you are in a dark tunnel,

remember there is light at the end.....

If you are out of the tunnel: 

enjoy the light, enjoy all what you see and experience


realise there will be an other tunnel a ahead.....

Not to punish you.....

it will only help you to heal,

and to enjoy an even brighter light...

Can you let go and trust,

or is there still a part of you that wants to be in control....

We went on holiday and on our way back to the airport,

we decided to go to another waterfall.

We had already seen a few beautiful ones

and apparently this was the biggest one.

When we arrived, we saw this.... was water,

at the bottom we saw this....

If we had only focused on the end, looking at a big waterfall,

we could have been very disappointed,

however we didn't.

We got something that day,

we never expected and never experienced....

The way to the waterfall was amazing!!

We went through the mountains, small villages,

beautiful scenery, goats and cows on our way.

We even saw a soccer field 

at the end of a cliff: 

how many balls are in that cliff;-)

Isn't this all about life?

Sometimes we focus so much on the end result,

that we forgot to enjoy the path.....

If the result we imagined is not there,

we often talk about 'waist of time', 'failure'

or worse, we feel quilt and/or shame...

Let's decide to enjoy the path,

to enjoy life now AND....

still having a goal in mind

only.....realising that a bigger power Knows

if our goal is the best for us 

or needs some adjusting.


let's keep curious, flexible,

adventurous, grounded and enjoying

what is coming on our path towards

love and light.

We couldn't see this waterfall together,

it was a bit to challenging

but: there are camera's....

so I can share it will all of you as well!

This one we could.....

were there is a will, there is a way...

This week there is a Uranus/Jupiter conjunction.

New inventions,

new way's to feel safe and secure,


demonstrations, earthquakes, war?!?

What can you change in your life?

Where are you not choosing for you...yet?

Are you open for a new way?

Are you open to enjoy the path

and accepting that 'wanting it your way'

is not how it works at the moment.... 

Perhaps there is a better way for you....

only you don't know it yet.....

Sunday 24 March 2024

What makes you happy?

 The eclipse season is here again:

energy of change.

Where in your life are you not choosing for you,

are you fighting against

or acting, so not to make waves......

When I look outside and see the bulbs blooming,

trees blossoming, buds starting to bloom,

I realise they 'Just do'......

There are still some storms, cold weather

and even frost but nature goes on.

Some buds make it and starts blooming

and some don't make it....

they will get a chance next year. 

Most of the time we show the world pictures like this:
a beautiful bud starting to bloom....
This is a picture from a rhododendron bush in front of our house.
I love this picture and I am looking forward
for it to open up.

This is also a picture from the same bush....
one bud made it, the other didn't.....

And if you look at this one, 
you can even think: 
'most of the buds didn't make it,
this plant must be almost dead?!?'

How do you talk to yourself?
Do you give up if something is not working as you imagined,
or do you go on,
see the challenges as steppingstones....

The energy we are in now,
is asking us to go through our wounds
and deal with them so 'we can bloom'.

Be compassionate with your self
even though others weren't compassionate 
with you in the past.

Pluto is changing signs and I wrote about that,
only Neptune and Uranus are changing signs as well
the coming 2 years.
If you look back in history,
you see that the last time this was happening was in 1446-1450
-than it was 4 years, so this is even stronger-
Then it had to do with a lot of wars......
do we still need that?!?

For me, the only way to change this,
is if we are open to change the wounds in ourselves.

And while I post it this way 
I hope you will know
see and feel what is happening....
'the pink elephant'.....

I hope you will change this into:




Make sure you focus on what you want.

Focus on being healthy 

Focus on respectful relationships

Focus on peaceful activities in your society

Focus on love, compassion.

If you focus on that,

you will speak up if something is not right,

and.... will also feel compassion for the other.

Sometimes I feel powerless and helpless:

what can I to help?!?

If I feel like that 

I Know........I know it is time to investigate.

Were do I feel helpless myself,

which wound wants attention,

wants healing....

After years of Neptune transits, 

I have Saturn transits now:

Did I do to much or.....didn't I do enough?!?

And.....if I did.....what am I going to do with this insight....

Do you feel empathy or compassion with yourself......

Do you trust and act from love there still fear to deal with.....

What if we can imagine a world of peace

AND do the work/take the steps to make peace in our own life.

Could it be that we realise 

that a lot of good things are happening?

It makes me happy to think about that!

Wednesday 20 March 2024

How can we hang on to a dream.....peace....

 How is it with you?

Do you wish for peace or....

can you give it away....

For me it is and/and, not or/or.......

I realise that the more I am at peace,

the more I can give it away and....

I am not always at peace..

Our daughter finished her study as osteopath

and now is doing her practice sessions/residency.

They need to do a lot of patients,

so I signed up for some sessions.

I did some sessions in the past,

just to check up as a prevention.

The last time was 5 years ago so it was a good time.

I had 2 session and.....

I realised,

that even though I thought my body was at peace,

it wasn't......

Deep down some old 'pains/patterns' came up

and.....I am grateful.

I realise now, that my body needed some healing

to be 'really' at peace again.

I have some more sessions;-)

Did the universe listen to me?

Did I send out an energy to be more in balance,

heal what needs to be healed?

I am glad I got this opportunity and......

am curious what will come up more.

I expect that my body will be more and more at peace.

How is it with peace in relationships?

Just in 1 week time  two people who are very dear to me,

lost someone close in a very unexpected way.....

found dead, not by choice or accident....

How do you deal with this,

can you be at peace and give peace

or is there 'war' inside and out......

I also see a lot of relationships 

struggling with being themselves AND being together.

Can we stay authentic AND be together

or must it be 'our way' without respect for the other....

It all has to do with being at peace with yourself.....

For me it is as with my body: 

I am not always at peace...yet.

10 years ago there was a dinner.....

I couldn't be present/didn't have to be present,

but it changed an unhealthy pattern.

This time I will be at the dinner

and I am looking forward to it.

How at peace are you in your mind?

I am more and more at peace

and.....not always...yet.

I see it at the 'wars' in the world,

unhealthy patterns......


'Putin is re-elected with 85% of the votes'

'Trump verses Biden'

Old pains/fear hides our power as society

Old pains/fear prevents us to be authentic

Old pains/fear let us forget our own power.

Old pains prevents peace.....

The time of Aries is here again.

Chiron is involved:

are we dealing with our wound

so we, I, each person,

can be who he/she/it wants to be?

Are we choosing for peace?

Let's start small.....

what will you do today to be at peace...

with your body,

in your relationships,

in your job,

in traffic,

in your mind......

Can you see the other as another you?

Do you choose 

to see the other as another you?

Can you make peace,

choose to make peace

so you can give it a way?

Tim Hardin - How Can We Hang On To A Dream (

Sunday 10 March 2024

'I am scared of good people who don't do anything'.....

Our fireplace: 

a block/a bridge to the other side....

Like Chiron: it is not always easy to go to the other side

if the world is on fire around you......

 I watched the documentary about Alex Navalny.

It is from 2022....

'I am not afraid.....only of good people who don't do anything'......

Navalny -

-still to see with this link for 7 days-

A documentary that shows the energy we are in:

are we living from fear or from passion.....

Like Nelson Mandela, Ghandi, 

Alex Navalny wants to make a change.

Instead of being afraid he is using his courage.

He has a family 

and they speak from passion as well.

They also are not afraid of talking about dying......

Not afraid of talking to people with different opinions

'You talk to extreme right, why? People don't like that!'

He reacted calm and firm:

'As a president I have to connect with all people,

so also with them. We have to work together!

They also show in the documentary
when he is calling the people 
who were involved with his poisoning.

Interesting to see the reactions of the people around him 
and his reaction
when the man confesses.......
They were shocked.....same as I......
He was celebrating: 'Yes, now we have them!'
'....he will be killed tomorrow'......

What is your passion?
Most likely you don't have to die for it,
like Ghandi, Mandela or Navalny,
but You can make a change.....
A change in your life,
so you can be an example for someone else.

Start small....
-Kaizen: little steps bring you a long way-

If we all remember the courage in ourselves
and start small, we will feel the courage! 
Than we can change a family, a city, 
a group, a country,
a world.....

In Russia there were demonstrations in 2022
after the public found out about the poisoning.
Now there are less......
the government is to brutal.....
Pluto at the end of Capricorn and beginning of Aquarius.....
The old energy is still a bit stronger.....I hope and believe not for long...

You see it all over in the world.
Israel/ Palestine,
Elections in Amerika....
We can not change this, 
but.....knowing how energy works:
we can change it by changing it in our world,
starting with our selves, our relationships,
family's, society......

Do we speak up?
Or are we good people who don't do anything......

Wouldn't it be great that we speak up in our own environment,
speak up to 'bully's' in family's.....
speak up when we feel something is not right.......
wouldn't it be great that we also listen to the other,
listen to hear their opinions,
listen to were they come from.......

Can we hear what is being said
or are we reaction from our own unhealed wound....

Doing something good for you
is changing the energy.....
Connecting with people and seeing them as an other you
is changing the energy.....
Saying sorry because you got a different inside
is changing the energy......

'Don't be in active'......'Navalny'

Monday 19 February 2024

Choose your hard......

 Chiron, the wounded healer is connected this month with the Moons node.

Both in Aries. 

Fierce, frustration, anger,

or using that energy to change,

to speak up if needed

and or take action when needed.

That sounds so easy only.....the wounded healer is involved:

can we go past our wound, is it already healed a bit

or is it still to raw.....

Everyone  has this in his/her chart,

only not on the same spot......

So....were is this energy 

touching your wound?

Mentally, physically, financial, 

society/work or in your relationships....


how is the relationship with yourself?

Chiron was at this same spot in 1974.....a long time ago.....

The Moons node are at the same spot as in the spring of 2007....

and beginning of 1987...

Did something happen for you personally in these years?

How did you react and......

looking back: would you have reacted different

now you know what you didn't know then?

When I look back I can see a pattern.

I learned to speak up for 'the underdog', 'for children',

and when I speak to people who knew me then,

they saw someone who knew what she wanted.

And part of it was true.

I knew what I wanted only 

it was not from a healed place.

I did it because I wanted others to have it easier,

more relaxed, to have more fun, 

to Live more........

It took me a long time before I realised

that it was also good to speak up for ME,

for what I like and choose.....

Heal yourself first
so you can be healing for others.

I started this blog last week
and today when I read it again
to finish it,
I realised how deep this wound can be.....

We 'need' a new bathroom.
So we made an appointment to make this happen.
This sounds easy and something you have to do
if you have a house for years 
with an older bathroom.

We looked at the options
and 'Peter' told us, it could be ordered
and also finished in a few months.
'Great' I said and we start looking
at all the things you need in a bathroom.

When we left, I was glad:
finally it is happening!

This was already 'a red flag'.....
In the afternoon I became sad,
I didn't know why and I talked
about it with Jaap.
'Strange that I feel like this,
I should/we should be happy?!?'

I went for a walk 
and all of a sudden I realised
that deep down I was soooo happy
that finally the bathroom would be renovated,
that I forgot to look what really makes me happy....

Did I like what we choose 
or.....did I 'accept' it 
and would I accept anything
because 'I would be done...finally'......'

I realised that an old wound was touched:
'It is not to bad,
others have less and...
I still can take a shower,
even if I need a 'pipe wrench'
to control the heat...'

Not speaking up, 
because 'I am not worth it'.....
a deep wound....
deeper than I realised.
Our bathroom 
needed a renovation 5 years ago.
We started with the kitchen and.... 
would do the bathroom 'the next year'.
'live happens and you make other plans'....
I realised that deep down I resented that 
more than I thought I did....

Jaap and I talked
he didn't realise how it was for me...
He couldn't: I didn't even know it....
He was not so happy with all of it as well,
we choose to cancel and make a change, 
next week we have a new appointment.

I am sure I would have been ok 
when we would have done it
the way we 'choose' it......
I am also sure it would not have made me 
happy in the long run....

So what do you choose?
Do you make choices form a wounded place
or a healed place?
Do you accept/see/feel your wound you choose to hide the pain......

So what does this mean for the world.
We are in this energy together....

Many country's had or are having elections,
country's are at war.....
What do we choose?

Do we accept the wound, 
afraid to go through the pain,
and choosing from anger and hurt?
do we choose to transform
go through the pain of healing
and choose for a healed wound.....

I don't know......
I only know that if we deal with our own wound first,
we can not only make a change,
we can transform as society.....

Let's have compassion, understanding and patience with each other.
Let's speak up from inner power,
Knowing how challenging life can be sometimes.
Let's have compassion with ourselves
be patient and....

Choose to love, 
choose to have fun,
choose to be curious,
choose to see the other as a mirror of yourself. 

Friday 9 February 2024

We are the world......imagine...

 On one of our bike rides, we saw this fence:

a natural one, with a little help of people.
It is a fence, not a wall, it keeps out and protects
you can see the other side....

In 1997 I was teaching in Doha.
I taught art.
Students could show the techniques I taught
in their own way.
One of the students always used this
to show people throwing stones....

He was an amazing artist and 
a very nice, calm, respectful person.
One day I started talking about 
him choosing the same subject all the time
and all of a sudden I saw a determent, 
committed you adult.

He explained to me, that he, as a Palestinian,
saw what was happening to and in his country
'we don't have anything to fight with,
while the Israelis are shooting at us
and we can not protect us in any other way!'

I asked him how he thought about the Israelis:
'I HATE them, I never will shake hands with them!!'
We talked a bit more and he told me that 
his goal was to be a diplomat in the future.....

A little while later we talked in class
about helping each other in the street
and also what would you do if someone 'saved' you
or saved one you loved.
He was the one who reacted:
 'I would be so grateful!'
I: 'Would you shake his hand?'
He: 'Of course!!'
I: 'What if you found out he was Israeli....'
.....he was shocked and quiet.........

We talked about it a bit more and I told him,
he had a big goal ahead of him 
and could do a lot of good as a diplomat....

I don't know his name anymore,
and I wonder what he is doing now.
Then I realised he reacted from hurt.....
What story's did he hear from his parents/aunts/uncles....?
What did he see.......?

How many more generations are needed
to understand that instead of reacting from pain,
we start healing the pain,
so we can See people 
instead of race/religion/gender/professions......

When do we speak up for people who are suppressed,
because one site still use 'victim ship' and hurt from the past
instead of taking responsibility for it...
When do we break down walls and start making boundaries....

This natural wall reminded me of him
and also of myself:
Can I set boundaries instead of walls....
Am I open to see the other person
or do I already have an opinion.......

I love Jaap AND....
I don't agree with everything he does/believe.
I like clean and ironed clothes AND.....
I don't always like to iron.....
I like to connect with people AND......
sometimes I want to be by myself......

I saw the making of the song 'we are the world'
and the director put a hand written sign on the top of the door:
'check your ego when going in'.
There were all famous musicians/singers in the room:
could they work together to make one song?!?

This is how the Aquarius age looks like:
everyone is shining in his/her own way AND....
together it is make something so powerful,
one person could never have done it by him/herself.....

How is it with our ego?
Is it immature or mature.....
Do you speak up from power or from hurt....
-check your emotions and then you know...-
Are you being quiet 
because of compassion and understanding 
or from fear and hurt...
-check your emotions and then you know....-

We are all a great big family.
Can you make a choice to heal,
to deal with YOUR emotions?
Are you open to accept that inside you
there are parts that are hurt....
not always from you but also from your family/country....

Are you breaking down walls
and create boundaries 
so you are safe AND open to see the other,
is the hurt still so big 
that you are afraid to break down the walls....

we all have wounds and hurt inside of us.....
Also remember: 
we have each other, we don't have to do it all by ourselves...

Imagine and start creating, your own life.
Peace in your body,
your relationships,
your environment,
your mind,
your finances/loving yourself.

Compassion, love, understanding.

Friday 19 January 2024

'Life is just a simple game'...

 If you act from your heart you are fearless,

if you are fearful then a mirror is active...

I realise that in my life I was sometimes fearless

because I didn't know all the details,

and 'just' acted from my heart 'soul spoke up'.

When I look back 

-with knowing the details I didn't know then-

I am sometimes shocked and amazed how courageous I was then...

I could be courageous because I didn't realise the consequence. 

If I had known them, most likely I had reacted from fear....

Then I didn't know and my intuition

was speaking, I took responsibility

for what I felt deep down, from my heart and....

the consequence were amazing:

not jail, but changing a pattern...

How afraid are we?

It looks like I am courageous to the outside world,

only....if I look closer,

to my role in the family I was born in,

I realise that I forgot to be courageous

for myself.

I used my energy to be 'good',

'not to make waves'.

-I also realise now,

that I Needed to have this experience...

I learned a lot from it and it made me

the person I am now!

Now I can see grateful-

I needed to make the change from taking care of others,

be a 'good girl' to remember who I was,

the person inside me....hopscotch....

I changed when I looked inside,

raised my consciousness and....

realised that I was not alone...

I didn't have to deal with all the issues by myself.

In my family, my brothers and sister helped me,

to see and feel 'we are in this together'

'We have each others back'.

A long time ago someone draw a picture of me:

I was a bird in a cage.....

couldn't get out....

Then I didn't understand but kept the picture for a long time.

Now I saw a similar picture

and realise how true it was.....

It looked as if I was free from the outside,

only I, myself, was afraid to be free...

Afraid of the consequences......

I could do it in the middle East,

a part of the world

that mirrors a lot of our fears....

How come I could do it there 

and found it so challenging to do it in Holland,

in my own family......

I experienced a lot before I went to the middle east.....
I learned from my mistakes
AND.....I didn't know all.....
I reacted from emotion then,
not from peace yet.......

So emotion can bring you a lot 
if it is from your soul, your heart
even if it is from your soul 
and the results are great:
realise there is a layer deeper to explore....
or I wouldn't have been so emotional.

Then I didn't listen to the other person,
I used My power.....hopscotch.....
A big step and important then...

Now it is not about us alone,
it is about we as a community,
realising we are all One.....
Pluto moved then through Scorpio....

This weekend Pluto moves into Aquarius

connected with the Sun:

Are you free?

Can you AND be you AND be part of a community.

Where in your life are you 'stuck' and 

don't realise you are still in a 'cage'?

Look around:

 what is your environment showing you.

What are the people around you showing you.

What do your emotions showing you

and.....what is your body?

Since a few days I got itchy skin jaw is 'speaking up'

Mars: setting boundaries and taking action, and also anger....

It shows me that my soul is 'helping me' to change ......

I made already some changes only....most likely not enough ...yet...

Remember: Pluto will stay in Aquarius till 2044.....

take your time and....take a first step...

I love this song, 

written in 1968.....

Lyrics that are still very accurate...

Could it be that we need more time

than we realise to be 'free'?

Could it be that the Cosmos 

has much more patience with us,

than we have with ourselves?

Let's remember:

 'Life is just a simple game'.....

not always easy....just simple.....

As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free
You and me, we'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye
That we are one
We're all the same
And life is just a simple game
There, by your side, I will be
When this crazy world is free
Free from doubt
When it finds out
Exactly what we're meant to be
That we are one
We're all the same
And life is just a simple game
Thoughts of another day
Flashing through my head
Thinking how life could be
All of the things that our great men have said
Be what we want to be
What we deserve to be
What we are meant to be
As time goes by, you will see
That we're going to be free
You and me, we'll touch the sky
Can you see in your mind's eye
That we are one
We're all the same
And life is just a simple game
(We're gonna be free)