Thursday 4 July 2024

Honest and kindness.

We start July with 3 major planets moving retrograde.

We will re-visit, re-set,

re-start, re-focus and re-adjust

parts in our lives that needs to look at.

With Saturn, Pluto and Neptune

it will most likely be situations 

were we didn't take responsibility,

were we didn't like to transform, only 'change'

and parts were we choose to look through pink glasses,

were we were dishonest with ourselves or others.

Parts that focus on fear instead of love.

We will re-visit the end of last year till now.....

Take time to look back,

look back with compassion for your self.....

Choose love over fear.

Look back with patience.

Look back and remember: YOU have the power!

Also remember: YOU are love....

Do you feel loved or is there a part of you that still believes 

you need to prove that you are lovable,

parts that focus on fear, 

instead of love....

For me, 

it is accepting that we all are 'traumatised children'......

Most likely we 'had to be' 

or else we wouldn't grow and develop our talents....

we wouldn't grow and heal.......

I also believe that we live in a time 

were we don't need to get more 'traumatised children'.

We Know more as adults now. 


By healing ourselves we

can help the children, 

who chose to come at this time,

to live a life were they can be 

their unique self.

Feeling loved and showing their love.

Living a life of happiness and abundance.

Developing a world were love is the energy instead of fear.

They need to have positive role models/parents who help them

to set boundaries, to help them to build the muscle

 of determination and patience.

I had a huge break trough

by realising that some signs were not there to make me DO something for another,

they were there to STOP doing it.......Pluto....

I work with energy 

and connect with energy of others 

to help them,

and still....

for myself I wasn't always sure....fear came up

I took responsibility and - realised I was calm instead of emotional

                                        - that my insecurity was false.......Saturn and Neptune.

This period of these retrograde planets 

will go on till the end of the year,

from November Saturn and Pluto will go direct, 

Neptune in December.

Take time to look back,

be compassionate with yourself and others,

be patient

and realise: 

YOU will 'Be the change you want to see in this world'....

If you look at the world:

we had elections, there will me more elections 

and a lot of changes.

There is still war going on, dishonesty and 'fog'....

Can we start within ourselves and by this 

speak up when necessary,

set boundaries the children in this world

to 'just be' a child....

to play

to have fun,

to be themselves......

To create this world we all like to see so much:

peace and happiness,

respect for each other,

admiring each others uniqueness.

Honesty and kindness.....


Sunday 23 June 2024

Travelling and transforming.

Pluto and Jupiter are connected now:

Can we come out of our tunnel vision

and are we open to broaden our horizon.....?

Is it true what I believe,

or do I realise that it is my view on reality is A truth, not THE truth......?

 Who are you/am I to think you/I know better?!?

Do I realise that when I point at someone/something,

3 fingers are pointing towards me.....?

This month we had the European elections,

and they are important.

If you look back in history,

there were town rules,

later on regions and after a while country rules.

Rules and regulations so

we as society can live together in peace.

We take care of each other if needed,

and it takes less time and money:

we can share the responsibility's.

Time and money 

we can use in a different way.

To make it good for all people,

we still need specifics for towns, regions and country's.

we need to see each individual as well.

The bigger goal: 

to live in a peaceful society.

The results of the voting is different than the last time.

Some party's who got a lot of votes last time, didn't get any anymore,

other, total new party's, got a lot of votes.....

Are we voting for what we want


are we voting because we don't agree,

a 'protest vote'......

How is your community mirroring you?

How is your family mirroring you?

Are there 'protest votes' or do you listen to each other....

Listen to hear, 

listen to understand,

listen to see the other person.....

Can you feel your emotions and take responsibility for it?

Are you open to transform -Pluto- 

or is that to much for you.....

to painful still.......

Do you have compassion with yourself,

do you give yourself time AND take it one step at a time....

Do you take time to enjoy yourself while transforming,

Knowing that this is how life is....

Choose to find like minded people,

choose to attract like minded people

and Know that if you learned the lesson from 'challenging people'

they will move out of your life.....

You don't need them anymore.....

You are open to attract new ones.

Tuesday 4 June 2024

Grief: do you feel it or cover it up....

If I look at the world around me,
I see a lot of grief covered up with the mind.....

Media that wants us take sides,
media that touches our fear....old fear....

I hear people who talk about
misunderstandings/ arguments/ taking sides
and people who are not patient anymore.....
angry at themselves and at others.

Comparing themselves with others and....
judging, feeling guilty and/or being ashamed...

And then......I came across this movie


A movie about the road from fear to love,
about 'the rumbling' in peoples life,
and the tendency to  avoid it....
till it is not possible anymore.....

How often do we cover our heart,
cover our feelings with our minds.......
I believe we all do/did,
we needed to do this as a child....
to survive....

How many of us had challenging childhoods,
losses of loved ones,
not feeling accepted as they are....
We 'had' to move on and.....
to do so we 'had' to cover the hurt with our minds.....

The hurt of the people of Israel.....
is now the hurt of the Palestinians......
What about the kids involved.......
do they have to cover up their grief
and use violence again in the future or.....
are they allowed to grief.......

The hurt of people who were 'taking care of' in monastery's,
who felt 'safe' by priests....
The people who were 'helped' by powerful men and woman
like Epstein and Maxwell.
They had to cover up their grief to survive.

Are young people taught about patience,
taking responsibility and speaking up for what is right they 'have to cover up there grief' 
to get what they want.....Now.....
Not realising the consequences....

What does' working hard' mean?
Do we choose to work hard or
is this 'a bad sentence'.....

I see lot's of people working hard,
working so hard so there is no time to feel......
Being busy, afraid of silence,
of an evening or weekend without something planned.....

How much does this have to do with grief.....
with covering up grief with the mind.....
Afraid of dealing with the grief,
afraid of the anger that is still there
and......'is not accepted'.......
at least....that is 'what the mind says'.....

So instead of dealing with our own grief
and the anger that is still there,
we 'decide' to have an opinion about
'the wars in the world'
'how celebrity's behave'
'how the government is dealing/not dealing'
with the issues we think are important'......
'numbing ourselves with food/drink/drugs/opinions of others'

Our wounds are more open now
and....the light likes to come in.......

Can we remember the 'we are One'?
That we all are mirroring each other?
That if we hurt someone else, we hurt ourselves?
That if we heal ourselves, we help others to heal?

For me it is challenging as well.....
Old patterns come up and part of me 
is still unforgiving, feeling guilty and ashamed....
My mind tells me 'you should not feel this anymore'....
'trying' to cover up my grief.....old grief......

I choose to feel it and sometimes I can
and....sometimes my inner child is not ready.....
it needs more time and
that is ok....

I feel I have more and more compassion with others
and also set boundaries more and more......
More and more I do it for ME.......
I started this path because I didn't want my children
to deal with my wounds....
-realising that they inherit that as well from me ;-)-

I started from a feeling of guilt, of shame 
of not forgiving myself: 'I did something wrong'.....
Now I go on, because I Know:
I did the best I could then......
Now I choose to be
'the change that I like to see in this world ' -Ghandi-

I realise why I love to work with children,
I also realise how important education is,
how important it is that children learn 
to think for them selves,
so they can set boundaries....
So instead of following influencers/social media/tik tok/etc
without feeling how it is for them,
they will check, feel and question
and find there own voice.

They can be themselves/unique AND be part of a group....
Can speak up and express their emotion 
with love....instead of fear.


Thursday 23 May 2024

A hiding inner child.......

 How are you?

Are you moving through life,

touched by social media,

feeling overwhelmed, emotional,

or are you in balanced and at peace......

There were so many Solar flames

that most likely 'old parts' inside of you were touched.

'Time for healing'......sounds good...

and mentally 

I believe we all 'want' to do this...


our inner child can be so scared for this healing

and chooses to act out to protect itself.....


My inner child was hiding.....

and when I look at the picture above,

I could relate to it.....

For me the tapping worked 

together with looking in the past.

Literally when I was a child.....

Just image to be a girl of 3years old,

with a brother of 2 and 1 and.....a baby sister......

And then....a girl of 5, with a brother of 4 and 3 years old,

a sister of almost 2 and a baby brother....

Living in a small house.....

I talked about it with my sister and she said:

'Imagine how it was for mom....'

First I thought, 'yes, must it be for a little girl?!?'

This sentence stayed with me 

and a few days later, 

I realised that a lot of the things I do,

I do for my mom........

To make 'her life easier....'

It was a shocking realisation made sense.....

Now many things made sense:

how I am as a 'grandmother'.......

Why I do what I do.......

Then this arrived in the mail,

from a very special person.

Someone who doesn't always realise 

that she has a 'heart of gold'......

After this, I was ready for the next step:

'I am not my mom, and it is not my duty to help her.'

What does my inner child need,

the girl of 3 and the 5 year old girl......

I will investigate ;-) and give it what they deserve

and makes them happy!

For all of you a tip:

start using tapping again,

use Reiki,

do the H'oponopono........

Look at pictures from the past,

see your environment as a mirror.....

We put a net around our cherry tree:

setting boundaries.....

we like the birds only the cherry's are for us this year :-)

I love birds AND still I have to set boundaries.....

A snail in the house: 

be patient and determent, protection and safety in yourself

even if others don't see your worth. 

Find rest in yourself and the road to your goal.


if you did this all and still are not feeling happy:

ask for help!

You don't have to do it all by yourself.

You are born to be happy, healthy

and to enjoy life.

To accept life as it is,

is the start to get the life you choose to.

This is why tapping works amazing:

'I accept and love myself......'

Can you see this words without stuttering and conviction?

I wish and hope you can....

You only can, if you are grateful....

grateful for the mirrors,

seeing them as a way to heal 

and help you on your journey.

Seeing them as a wrapped present....

You don't know yet what is in it....

You don't even like the wrapping paper....

but still you trust....

trust that it will be good for you.....

you 'only' have to be patient.....

Friday 3 May 2024

Pluto's last retrograde of 2024.....use your courage and transform!

 Pluto went retrograde on May 2.

From Sept. 1 it will visit Capricorn for the last time. 

November 24 it will come back in Aquarius 

and will stay there the coming 20 years.

What happened in your life since 2008

when Pluto started in Capricorn?

Do you have some unfinished business?

Worldwide there was a  banking crisis,

was it transformed or.....not totally..

We will find out.....

Are there still 'old/ancient' leaders who need to move over

to make space for new leadership?

Did you deal with organisation,

or did/are you working for organisations?

Did they change/did you change?

How was it in your family?

Were there old patterns that needed to be changed

and....did you?

Can you be 'the adult' or are there still old wounds

that need to be healed?

Do you act from fear or from Love,

from control or trust?

We were traveling through Capricorn.

Learning to be responsible for ourselves,

remembering that we are adults.

Letting go of old dated habits and starting new ones.

Did we do this or....did we do part of it

and is there still a part 

that is projecting.......

Being an overprotected parent because deep down 

YOU needed one when you were a child......

Seeing the world as 'a bad one', acting from fear,

forgetting that YOU have the power......

Acting from guilt and shame instead of

seeing your actions as stepping stones towards YOU....

The coming 20 years will be about community,

technology, 'we are One'.

We need the energy of Capricorn/Saturn to set boundaries:

AI can be great if it is used ethical and there are boundaries.

Money can be an energy of love and power as it is used 

from an energy of ethics, norm, values.

Protests can give a voice to a group of people

if they realise they should also respect other 

with other opinions.

Social media is great to connect with each other

if you also make sure to think for yourself and

connect in a personal way.

What will be the small acts we do to transform the world?

Smile to the person in the shop?

Help a neighbour?

Connect with likeminded people to make a change for all?

I believe this is the way to change the world....

For now,

we first get the time to look inside:

which wounds are not healed yet,

were do you need to make a change.

Where do I choose love and courage

over fear and habits...

When I look back,

I realise that a lot has changed since 2008.

We moved abroad.

I changed my work to make time for my relationship:

I worked less in Holland and started abroad.

Our children became adults and even if we stay parents,

we didn't need to provide for them anymore.

Organisation that looked good lacked integrity

and I spoke up and 'stepped out' with lot's of likeminded people.

Family members wanted to keep old outdated habits,

habits that were not good for everyone and there was a break.

I lost loved ones who couldn't deal with this world anymore.

We moved back and in September 

we will do a last -I think;-)- big renovation.

We became grandparents in a different way

than our parents were grandparents....

I also see the new energy of Aquarius:

Meeting old friends again and the feeling you saw them 'yesterday',

it felt good straight away.

Meeting people who are totally different than we are and still....

we are so open and honest and respectful towards each other.

A new energy.

Realising that people have their own power

and....I don't have to be 'a parent',

'leading by example' is more important.

In our neighbourhood their is a challenge

with a builder. We don't have to do anything for this,

someone else is looking into it -his/her expertise-

and the rest of the neighbourhood can follow.

Not because they are less, no,

because they will show their expertise when

that is necessary......we are all equal.

That builder: looks like an Capricorn energy...

he thought that people wouldn't stand up......

It is good to look at the coming years


it is even more important to look inside,

to heal, let go so you can move on from

a stable base....grounding....

Pluto is grounding,

Pluto is cancer......anger inside

Pluto is transforming,

Pluto is war...destroying....

Pluto is cleaning out everything that needs to go away.....

Pluto shows everything that is hidden, it reveals...

Can you choose to be grateful you choose to be afraid?


We are born to shine

and Pluto makes sure,

that everything that is blocking this

will go way or the other.

Sunday 21 April 2024

Vesta: keep your inner flame burning.

 Three years ago I saw the sign of Vesta in the air.

This year I got the opportunity to visit the temple of Vesta in Rome.

I was very very busy....

Vesta in your chart has to do with your inner fire.

Vesta is the goddess of the hearth, home and family,

it has to do with dedication and retreat.

The eternal flame burning in your heart,

tells you something about your purpose.

'Keep the flame burning'.

Most important meaning is commitment.

In my chart you can see that the challenge for me

is to keep my own inner fire alive....

I can help others to keep theirs burning,

only....I shouldn't forget my own.....

How is is with your inner fire?

Are you committed to what you do?

I had to drive a lot last months

and when I listened to the radio,

the message was:

'It is almost weekend, glad it is the end of the weak!'

'O no, tomorrow a new week will start again,

enjoy the day and do the things you want to do.'

And then, there was a different voice.

A popular singer in Holland had a new recording,

she doesn't do a lot of interviews.

When asked about it she said:

'I earned enough to have a good life,

only I have very clever children who

are going to university abroad '

- I don't know how they become so clever;-) -

so I only work to make sure they can study.'

There was no reaction from the interviewer.....

I loved her honesty: she loves singing, only....

she loves her kids and to be out of the spotlight...

She chooses for herself....

We are in the energy of Uranus/Jupiter in Taurus.

Are you feeling safe to be unique and yourself?

Do you speak up and live your life they way you want it?

Is your body speaking to you and do you want a 'quick fix'

or do you choose to listen to it.....

My body is speaking to me ;-)

and I am listening more and more.

Deep down I picked up emotions that prevented me to grow


also helped me to feel safe and secure....then.....when I was a child....

I am an adult now, only....that child inside of me

thinks/believes I am not always ready to move on...

It is a time for all of us 

to be nice to that inner child,

to let it know that your are the adult now


it is safe......

Communicate with yourself,

respect yourself:

you always did the best you can...

Trust....and now you know better,

choose to be compassionate

and love yourself unconditionaly.

Monday 15 April 2024

Open for new ways......enjoying the path.

 This picture is a reminder......

If you are feeling you are in a dark tunnel,

remember there is light at the end.....

If you are out of the tunnel: 

enjoy the light, enjoy all what you see and experience


realise there will be an other tunnel a ahead.....

Not to punish you.....

it will only help you to heal,

and to enjoy an even brighter light...

Can you let go and trust,

or is there still a part of you that wants to be in control....

We went on holiday and on our way back to the airport,

we decided to go to another waterfall.

We had already seen a few beautiful ones

and apparently this was the biggest one.

When we arrived, we saw this.... was water,

at the bottom we saw this....

If we had only focused on the end, looking at a big waterfall,

we could have been very disappointed,

however we didn't.

We got something that day,

we never expected and never experienced....

The way to the waterfall was amazing!!

We went through the mountains, small villages,

beautiful scenery, goats and cows on our way.

We even saw a soccer field 

at the end of a cliff: 

how many balls are in that cliff;-)

Isn't this all about life?

Sometimes we focus so much on the end result,

that we forgot to enjoy the path.....

If the result we imagined is not there,

we often talk about 'waist of time', 'failure'

or worse, we feel quilt and/or shame...

Let's decide to enjoy the path,

to enjoy life now AND....

still having a goal in mind

only.....realising that a bigger power Knows

if our goal is the best for us 

or needs some adjusting.


let's keep curious, flexible,

adventurous, grounded and enjoying

what is coming on our path towards

love and light.

We couldn't see this waterfall together,

it was a bit to challenging

but: there are camera's....

so I can share it will all of you as well!

This one we could.....

were there is a will, there is a way...

This week there is a Uranus/Jupiter conjunction.

New inventions,

new way's to feel safe and secure,


demonstrations, earthquakes, war?!?

What can you change in your life?

Where are you not choosing for you...yet?

Are you open for a new way?

Are you open to enjoy the path

and accepting that 'wanting it your way'

is not how it works at the moment.... 

Perhaps there is a better way for you....

only you don't know it yet.....

Sunday 24 March 2024

What makes you happy?

 The eclipse season is here again:

energy of change.

Where in your life are you not choosing for you,

are you fighting against

or acting, so not to make waves......

When I look outside and see the bulbs blooming,

trees blossoming, buds starting to bloom,

I realise they 'Just do'......

There are still some storms, cold weather

and even frost but nature goes on.

Some buds make it and starts blooming

and some don't make it....

they will get a chance next year. 

Most of the time we show the world pictures like this:
a beautiful bud starting to bloom....
This is a picture from a rhododendron bush in front of our house.
I love this picture and I am looking forward
for it to open up.

This is also a picture from the same bush....
one bud made it, the other didn't.....

And if you look at this one, 
you can even think: 
'most of the buds didn't make it,
this plant must be almost dead?!?'

How do you talk to yourself?
Do you give up if something is not working as you imagined,
or do you go on,
see the challenges as steppingstones....

The energy we are in now,
is asking us to go through our wounds
and deal with them so 'we can bloom'.

Be compassionate with your self
even though others weren't compassionate 
with you in the past.

Pluto is changing signs and I wrote about that,
only Neptune and Uranus are changing signs as well
the coming 2 years.
If you look back in history,
you see that the last time this was happening was in 1446-1450
-than it was 4 years, so this is even stronger-
Then it had to do with a lot of wars......
do we still need that?!?

For me, the only way to change this,
is if we are open to change the wounds in ourselves.

And while I post it this way 
I hope you will know
see and feel what is happening....
'the pink elephant'.....

I hope you will change this into:




Make sure you focus on what you want.

Focus on being healthy 

Focus on respectful relationships

Focus on peaceful activities in your society

Focus on love, compassion.

If you focus on that,

you will speak up if something is not right,

and.... will also feel compassion for the other.

Sometimes I feel powerless and helpless:

what can I to help?!?

If I feel like that 

I Know........I know it is time to investigate.

Were do I feel helpless myself,

which wound wants attention,

wants healing....

After years of Neptune transits, 

I have Saturn transits now:

Did I do to much or.....didn't I do enough?!?

And.....if I did.....what am I going to do with this insight....

Do you feel empathy or compassion with yourself......

Do you trust and act from love there still fear to deal with.....

What if we can imagine a world of peace

AND do the work/take the steps to make peace in our own life.

Could it be that we realise 

that a lot of good things are happening?

It makes me happy to think about that!