Sunday 17 December 2023

Our deepest fear....part 3

 Neptune went direct again,

so ....'the fog' is clearing ;-)

Mercurius went retrograde so we can go inside

and clear misunderstandings about our selves and/or others.

Christmas time is a time of light,

a time to connect with family and friends.

Also a time when shadows come up.

How are we going to deal with this?

Are we afraid to hurt other peoples feeling

and by that hurting ourselves,


do we trust and feel love....

Do we expect the best?

Do we Know that the other person 

never wants to hurt our feeling on purpose....

Do we Know we never want to hurt 

the other person on purpose 

and....can we deal with their response....

Do we understand that the response from the other

doesn't say anything about us....

Do we Know that a response says something about that other person....

Do we also understand that our response

also says something about us.....

not about the other....

If we feel hurt,

how do we react:

fight or flight

or are we deciding to deal with this hurt.

Realise that not everyone is in the same place,

there is no good or bad,

everyone has it own path to go.

You are responsible for your own path....

al least if your goal is love an peace :-)

If you look back on 2023

-I still do it from the 5 pillars: you can re-read

the blogs about this from last years-

were do you see and feel 

you acted from your deepest fear....

The fear to 'be powerful beyond measure'

Is it in your mind, about your body,

in your relationships, society

-remember: money=love=power-

Can you look back and be grateful,

grateful and accept that it was as it was.....

How about 2024?

What do you expect/wish for at the end of that year,

what did you do to make 2024 the best year ever!

What could be your first step....little step:

Are you going to end every day with a sentence:

I am grateful for....

Are you going to change a routine: 

-use smaller plates

-smile to the person at the supermarket

-take the stairs at work

-tapping on the anger point -lower ribs/liver-

 after feeling anger.

-put '20 euro's' a side every month on a special account.

-make an appointment to see a friend/relative you

 'don't have time to visit'.....start with one...

-smile to yourself in the mirror in the morning

 and wish him/her a wonderful day....

KNOW live knows best.....

it is not always going as you expected,


it goes as it should be....

If your energy changes,

your live changes.

You attract something/someone else.

The only way to attract what you like

-as I see it-

is if you are open to look inside,

open to deal with old patterns, old emotions.


if you are not doing it,

live will give you lot's of opportunity's 

so you HAVE to look at it.

Not to punish, 

but to help....

your soul knows best...

It helps you to remember

that you are powerful....

decide to let go of the fear...

Wishing you all an amazing 2024.

A world of love,

good health, gratefulness

great people around you


Peace in your soul,

your body, mind, relationships 

and in the world.

Monday 4 December 2023

Our deepest fear......part 2

 We are already at the last month of this year.....

For the world and for a lot of people a very challenging year.

We are at the end of a cycle: 

the old society doesn't work anymore,

and it seems 

we are not totally ready for a new one.

Do we still think we need walls,

or do we more and more realise

that we need boundaries.

Can we have an inclusive society

or do we believe it has to stay exclusive....

Are we still afraid and need of control

or can we day by day trust a little more

and relax......

There are still old wounds touched

and by the reactions: they need some more healing....

People are not happy

and you see from elections in the world 

that there is a lot of blaming.

Voters not always choose what they want,

but choose 'against'.....

not even realising what the consequences are....

5 years ago I wrote this about peace:

If we want to find peace on earth,
we first have to find it in our selves:
how is it in your body
-do you judge it? Is it to big, to small,
not enough muscle or can you appreciate it?-
how in your mind?
-do you talk nice to you or do you still judge yourself you hear yourself or is it still a subconscious habit.-
how is is it in your relationships?
-do you set boundaries or do still want to please.....
even if it doesn't feel good. Do you love yourself or
is there not yet peace with yourself....-
how is it in society?
-are you seeing it as a mirror or are you 'fighting against'.
Do you love what you do, do you feel you can contribute to it
or do you feel you are stuck.....go back to your mind: there is probably still no peace....-
how is it moneywise?
-do you feel you don't get enough, that you can not do what your really want? Do you feel that 'it is not fair'?.....also go back to your mind......a part wants to be in peace-
The only way we will find a world that is in peace,
is if we deal with the 'wars' inside us....
Do you have the courage to look inside and deal
with yourself first?

Are you open to 'break through' your own walls
and replace them by boundaries?

Are you open to believe that we all are One,
and we are each other mirrors?

Are you open to hear beyond what is being said?
Are you open to feel, have compassion,
love yourself and be at peace?

I have to be honest:
for me this can be challenging.
I have periods that this goes easy
and then, 'all of a sudden'
I feel restless....

I can react in a way, that surprises me,
an 'old way'......

Deep down this is the feeling:
am I also ok 'just as being me'.....
or do I have to DO 'things' for others....

I realise that this picture is even
stimulating this feeling
instead of letting it go.....

So let's change it:
accept the storm,
accept the fear
love will win in the end
and we will be at peace.

I started with investing time to look at the 5 pillars again
to look back at 2023.
We have to invest time,
sit still and open to investigate our feeling,
deal with our wounds
instead of walking away from them.

Where are you walking away from?
Which pillar is your weakest link?
Do you realise that if you deal with your weakest link,
you will automatically improve the other pillars,
so they become even stronger....?

Mercury will go retrograde,
and we are already in it's shadow:
use the time to go within.

Expect misunderstandings
so you can heal a misunderstanding inside of you.
Take your time and be patient
if traffic is slow or computers don't work.
Remember love, when people forgot appointments
or are late.
Listen to your inner voice:
it is loving, compassionate and patient.....

Monday 13 November 2023

'Our deepest fear.....'

 I know we are in the end energy of Pluto in Capricorn

and we feel the energy of Pluto in Aquarius already......

This all is very challenging......

Still: are we remembering we are healing,

or are we still to hurt that we think we have to fight?!?

'Antisemitism is on the rise'

'Protest by pro-Palestinians'

'Break down the statues that has links to the slavery period'

'Human trafficking: woman in forced prostitution.

 men living in bad situations, pay below minimum wages'

Did we learn from the past,

or do we want to hide the past....

We are all ONE.....

How come we focus on the difference between us

instead of what we have in common.

We are all human beings,

who need  to connect with each other,

who like to share our lives,

have fun together to give meaning to our lives

and the lives of others.

We are all Love.

Shouldn't we have rallies on 

'let's respect each other'?

Rallies on

'YOU are important because you have something I don't have

and I have something you don't have: let's share this,

so we all can have a great life and enjoy!

How many of us are in 'the wrong place'?

How come we stay there?

Why don't we choose to go there were we are loved,

were we can contribute our talents

and 'just BE' ourselves?

Do we still find excuses?

Excuses, so we don't have to look inside and heal?

Are we 'hiding' behind our parents/our children?

Are 'hoover parents' better than parents who were not there

when they were needed?

Both have to do with Love

and also with boundaries/no boundaries....

We NEED them.....not to punish but to protect.

Children need boundaries,

we as adults need them as well...

Can we live unconditional love

or is it conditional love.....

Adults have been given the time, 

the determination, 

the patience to deal

with their issues,

to learn to be responsible for themselves


stayed with old programs learned by parents/society.

The process from conditional to unconditional love....

Children learn to be responsible

little steps at a time.

They learn to think by themselves

and challenge boundaries society/parents want them to follow.

By this they learn to have respect for themselves and the other.

Unconditional love is not love without boundaries....

Learn to be patience and realise

you can't get what you want immediately

all the time....

Sometimes you need to be patient.

Sometimes what you want looks nice but.....

need's a lot of determination and 'work'.... 

-like being a famous youtuber, popstar or athlete-

Enough of the 'big world':

How is it in your own world?

Do you respect....and set boundaries?

In your relationships?

With your body?

In your work?

With your children?

Do you take responsibility for your emotions?

Are you dealing with them or 

are you holding on to old programs inside of you?

It is the time of the year to decorate your house

with lights,

with red and greens -1st and 4th chakra-

Let's choose to make this a reflection of our 'own house',

our body.....

Let's decide to let go, to 'clean', 

let's choose to relax,

let's enjoy

let's 'just BE'

enjoy each others talent

and respect your own.

Let's choose to make a 'peace on earth' place in our own home

as a start of peace in the world.

Let's connect, respect, have fun,

and set boundaries.....

make sure there is also time to be with yourself.

Could it be that our deepest fear

is still our power....?

Monday 6 November 2023

Only love is real....

 'Love is real, come I don't feel the love?!?'

How come we feel judged, not enough, failing

while we Know that only love is real......

We all want peace.

Do we also want to do what is needed?

Are we prepared to let go of old security's?

Do we realise....

that it is old security's we are holding on to,

if we feel 'war' in ourselves.....

Last time I made a connection with the second chakra,

now I will do it with the fourth....

If you deal with your emotions

-accept them, heal them- 

you can experience love.....

If not, 

you still feel you have to proof yourself.....

you experience love with conditions.

Let's choose unconditional love,

let's accept that we are judging,

let's choose not to condemn....

Let's choose to respect and accept the difference between others,

and realise that if we don't,

most likely we don't respect and accept ourselves...yet...

Instead of judging, blaming, feeling guilty

let's choose to be compassionate, understanding and patient.

'Give peace a chance'....

starting with peace inside of us....

Sometimes it means setting boundaries,

and realising you need to let go

of people/habits/environments.

Letting go, so you can attract 

and be open for the life 

you are meant to live.

A life of love, peace and abundance.

Wednesday 1 November 2023

Swings and balance....

 All Saints and all Souls day,


The orange of the pumpkins is for me the colour of the second chakra,

the colour of healing emotions....

I visited London and this picture

shows the energy of now:

Female and Male energy are on there way

to the future.

Having a stop in between to look,

to enjoy the environment and.....

deal with emotions.

How do we deal with emotions?

Can we enjoy the Now,

or do we go on 

and avoid 'some'.

Are we only dealing with them when there is to much:

'an explosion', an irruption like a volcano.

people getting angry, or a body is getting ill....

We are in an energy of dealing with old pain.

The Moon nodes 

are connected with Pluto in a challenging way.

The North node is connected with our wound......

It is like this picture:

two kids on a swing, having fun.

Others are looking at them and enjoying themselves

or are waiting till they are 'done'.....

Those kids don't go on and on.....

no, at one time they are done and move on.

I am sure after a few years, 

they will not go on this swing again:

they feel they are to old....they move on....

Israel and Palestine....

so much old pain.

Even some Jews put a yellow star on their clothes to make a point.......

Luckily most Jews who don't live in Israel couldn't agree.....

they 'moved on'/ healed.......

Just before I went to London,

my daughter showed me 'a mirror'......

In London I realised I was dealing with

an old wound in a deeper way.....

I am grateful letting go :-)

How is it with you?

Are you open to heal,

are you open to look at 'stubborn' parts inside yourself,

that still believe you have to

'proof yourself',

'work harder'

and be someone that someone else wants you to be?

Are you afraid to speak up 

or to do 

what YOU like


'they don't like you anymore'

'you will not be safe and secure'

Good to remember.....

YOU are the light,

YOU are the power,

YOU are the love.....

If you look at children, you can see this.

They have fun,

 laugh, enjoy little things,

are friendly, compassionate.

Can we as adults let them stay like this?

Can they be themselves or....

do we 'want' them to be as we think they Should be.....

Do we choose to deal with our wounds,

so we don't have to pass them to the next generation


are we staying on 'the swings'......

Staying on them while we should outgrown it.....

If we choose to have peace in our lives

and in the world

we should choose to heal and move on,

one step at a time....

I could have been angry at my daughter mention 'my dress'.

If I would have done it, 

she wouldn't have understand my reaction,

because she only made an observation....

I could be angry at myself,

because I 'still' had this wound not healed 100%...

I choose to look inside and

realise it is so much easier now,

because I did it already more often ;-)

I wish you all to be patient and loving towards yourself.

Change guilt and shame for compassion, 

understanding and forgiving.

Female and male energy more and more in balance....

Sunday 22 October 2023

Are we open to see the other, or do we stay in our own pain.....?

 We like to have a stable, comfortable, 'safe' life

and sometimes we stay in situations that feel 'comfortable enough'

but aren't.....

With the eclipse we are dealing with the Libra/Aries:

relationships, 'law'/ ourselves, action......

In the world we see Palestine/Israel we see Hamas/ Jews......

Chiron, the wounded healer is involved in this energy:

are we acting from old pain and forget to look......?

How is it in our own lives?

How is it in our relationships:

do we act from old pain,

or do we take action to solve this pain

so you can live a more balanced life....

The people in Palestine lived already in a 'big prison'

for many years....

Most of them 'have to ' accept it or.....have to move....

A few people are angry, 

so angry that they don't want to talk,

they don't want a solution,

they want war......

The people in Israel live in their 'promised land'

only not safe.....

they have to have shelters in their houses

....deep down they never feel 100% safe....

The government want to let them believe 

that they will keep them safe.....

even by being more 'dictatorial'......

A lot of people didn't want this,

only....we don't focus on it anymore

because of 'the war'.....

-I hope you realise I am a bit black and white ;-)-

Heal.....starting with yourself...

Starting with myself!

Guild/blame is blocking it,

forgiving is changing it.

Forgiving and taking action..... 

Starting with ourselves/myself

Tuesday 10 October 2023

....and then there is more war.....

 This is a picture close to the Niagara Falls....

so calm and serene.....'peace'

and just a little bit further there is a lot of noise 'war'....

Can you still look at both sides,

or do you 'take' a side......

For me this war between Israel and Palestine

is a war of old pain,

old pain that is not seen, not healed.....

People on both sides die, are wounded,

people on both sides are afraid,

are losing loved ones.......

More and more there is research done about

the results of unhealed wounds:

burn outs, suicides, addiction etc......

A father who got disabled by an accident

and a son asked:

'why do bad things happen to good people'

When he gets older he commits suicide....only 21 years old.

No one expected this till they found his letter....

 He didn't want to show how he felt,

he was 'the man' in the house since he was 9

and he also made sure his brother, 

who was born premature,

was happy and could do all he wanted to do...... 

A girl of rehabilitation. 

Started drinking alcohol at a young age.

Parents divorced, and she was bullied

at school......

Starting on Thursday she drank 

the whole weekend.....not a few drinks but...

till she didn't remember anything anymore.

It made her feel embarrassed

but...she couldn't stop.....

She didn't want to live anymore,

till a friend told her about a clinic.....

There she realised she hadn't dealt 

with the pain of being bullied,

and the divorce of her parents.

Now she looked relaxed, 

looking forward to the future.....

Two young people,

one with a job on sea,

one with a friend who went through the same

and recognized her pain.

Pluto.....transformation, war......

You can say: what has this to do with war?!?

My answer: 

you can not shine if there are to many 'clouds' .....

The only one who can let the clouds go,

are you.......

like the sunlight let the fog disappear:

light is stronger....

With the Neptune/Mercury opposition,

we have the change to show our compassion.

Compassion for the war victims 

and also for the earthquake in Afghanistan...

Also Pluto.....

Will we also have a volcano outburst in Italy?!?

I got this as a mirror yesterday.....

-I saw a lot of snails the last months.....-

And this beautiful white butterfly..

There was also a robin.....

-it was to quick for me ;-)-

Could it be that we should be patient.....

that there will be a transformation,

that all will be well?

Do we really trust and believe

or do we, only.....

not 100% yet.....

Let's take it one step at a time,

and heal our wounds to help heal the world.....

or do you believe you power is not big enough.....

Let's decide to have compassion,

start loving ourselves.

Deal with the war inside of us....

instead of making more war with our outside world....

John Lennon - Imagine (Lyrics)🎶 - YouTube

Friday 6 October 2023

The beauty of is not always a calm ride...part 3.

 I got this by mail for my birthday.


harvest by someone 

who knows everything about flowers and plants.

Her garden looks like a wild garden,

not organised organised.....

She collected seeds for me and advised me 

to sow them now and at springtime....


these seeds will be beautiful flowers...


I have to plant them and be patient....


I have no idea how they look like, 

I 'just' have to trust.....

These seeds are from flowers that bloomed this summer.

They died on.....

A reminder of life and.....

of going on after dying.....

Also a reminder that part of you can 'die' 

but  not all of you has to go.....

I got the seeds from my sister in law.

Jaap's brother had a stroke almost 2 years ago

and is partly paralysed.

Very challenging in the beginning,

because they just moved back to Holland

in a new house and expected a 'new life'.

They had two choices:

feel sorry for themselves

or....accepting the loss and looking at all the parts

that didn't 'die'....

They choose the last one.

After a year 'they' say 

that you can not see any improvement anymore....

He proved everyone wrong: he is still improving.....

He was in a choir and 

'it is not possible to perform when you are in a wheelchair'.....

Instead of being angry and disappointed,

he kept going and.....they made sure he could also perform....

They go on holiday, with the two of them

and with friends.

Not all the places they stay are what they say they are is not always easy in a wheel chair.

They don't like it, only....

they make sure they can still enjoy their time


speak up, so they can make changes for others.

They are 70 and 73......

If they can deal with this,

I am sure we can deal what is happening in our own life.....

After Libra, we get Scorpio.....

Scorpio and Pluto are related:

are we prepared to go deep?

Are we still hiding our deepest emotions?

Do we 'beat ourselves up' or do we have compassion....

I know I have to deal with some deep emotions:

there is a whole under my crown......

I don't feel pain, but the dentist

saw it in a x ray

and expect it can be a problem in the coming years.

The crown looks good,

only under need it isn't....

I am glad x rays showed it

and the dentist took an x ray.......!

What is your dream?

Can you dream big or do you let Neptune tell you

that 'you are not worth it',

'that it never can happen',

that it is not realistic' ?

Choose to let the fog down

and imagine your biggest dream that it will come.

Perhaps not in the way you imagined,

but in a way to is even better for you!

You only can do this

 if you transform old outdated emotions,

emotions that let you believe 

that you had to prove yourself.

That you had to do something to be loved,

or that you couldn't do something that others didn't like

because then 'they wouldn't love you'....


you ARE love,

you ARE enough,

you ARE powerful beyond measure....

Everything that happened in your life

made you the strong person you are now.

Be grateful and forgive.....

first of all yourself.

Also remember that you HAVE to take responsibility,

you NEED to be patient,

there ARE consequences.....

Saturn is needed to deal with Neptune and Pluto.

It is with the beautiful garden 

that looks wild.....

but the one who made it Knew what to do....

If you look at athletes, musicians, successful entrepreneurs:

it looks so easy only.....

they worked hard, had to deal with challenges

and.....kept on going till their dream came true.....

Thursday 5 October 2023

The beauty of is not always a calm ride....part 2


Pluto will go direct on the 11th, 

after being Retrograde 

from the beginning of May.

Pluto the planet of death, rebirth, transformation, 

power and your subconscious

asks us to bring to the light what was still in the shadow....

What went on in your life since May?

Where did you have to dive deep into transformation?

Where did you have to look at your shadow?

Did you choose to look at it or....

did you choose to blame or feel as a victim.....

Pluto is not change....

Pluto is transformation....

you don't have a choice....

you HAVE to let go and accept transformation

were it is needed......

You can fight it 


you won't win it in a way you 'want' it,

you will 'win' it in the way that is best for you...

Trust that it is needed to bring light

trust that you have the power within to deal with everything....

I saw this spiderweb outside....

it looks amazing!

I also realise that people can feel stuck,

'caught in a spiderweb',

no way out......

A web they/we/I build by ourselves,

our patterns and habits to make sure we feel 'safe'

Only.....are we born to 'be safe'

or are we born to thrive, to enjoy, to share, to shine?

After the 11th, when Pluto moves forward,
we can expect the results of our journey the last months.

Make sure you are patient with yourself,
have compassion
and enjoy the abundance of nature:
harvest season...

Look at were you were 'stuck'
and choose to change one little thing:
in one year you will see a huge difference!

It can be physical, emotional, relational, 
your place in society or financial.
Pluto changes can be:
-an illness that can be life threatening
 and you change your routine.
-a birth
-a new job
-someone speaking up and a new movement is starting.
-cleaning out cupboards.....
-deciding on getting a pet....
-court cases.....

Remember Neptunes energy is also there this month,
-trust your feelings,
-ask if something is not clear,
-make music, listen to music
-use your creativity
-if there is 'fog'....wait till it is over...
-if there is 'fog'....shine light on it....Your light....