Friday 21 August 2020

Inner demons...and celebrating



Do you have to face your inner demons before you can start celebrating?
No.....
You can start celebrating AND face your inner demons at the same time...

I think that celebrating, being grateful, accepting and trusting
the base it to have the courage to face your inner demons....


A few blog's ago,
I wrote about my grandma,
she was my 'save place'.

AND my mom was my mom:
she taught me sustainability,
making something from nothing,
to go on whatever happens,
to dream big,
that I could do it, even though I felt insecure.

She showed me not to be impressed by angry people,
however....I was.....
My dad didn't like 'wortel stamppot', 
a stew from carrots and potato's.
If we had this for diner,
I already felt anxious.....
I 'knew' what was coming...
When he came in, he looked 
and.....
made sure to look for a fight 
so he could walk away from the table...
My mom stayed calm....
I didn't.....I felt bad for my dad....
'he worked so hard!' 

My dad was a calm, loving, caring man,
someone who lived for his family.
Hw didn't only talk about being 
a good person for the world,
he showed it through action,
often 'secret'....
'they don't have to know'...
I didn't see him angry often
and apparently it was something scary for me...

I realised when I wrote that blog about my grandma,
that I am still reacting as that child
and instead of my mom's reaction,
staying calm,
I make sure my husband get the food he likes,
even if it means I don't like it...

Isn't it interesting that those emotions
can go on such a long time before you realise
WHY you do it?

Do I make food that I like and Jaap doesn't?
No....
I choose the food that I like,
when we have dinner outside,
or if the kids are at home.


Now I realise I felt something from my dad...
This calm, loving man,
had to fight in Indie....
a war no one talked about
and lot's of things happened....

I found a way to deal with 
the 'food issue'
however.....
is this self-love or walking away from something...
Do I still pick up emotions from others
and do I want to 'save them',
or can I feel them and  
KNOW they are strong enough 
to deal with them themselves?

I can choose to worry about it,
and 'think' about a solution,
I also can trust that I get the mirrors
and deal with the issues that come up....
trust....

Our son and bonus daughter
came to visit us from England
and we as a family would all be together,
the last time, 
before their daughter will be born.
At least....
that is what we thought....

Just before their flight,
England decided 
that Holland was not a safe place anymore...
If they would go to Holland,
they had to go in quarantine for 2 weeks
when they came back.....
that was not possible.....

We had the choice to be disappointed and angry
or we could find a solution.
We choose for the last one.
We met in Germany.
They drove to Munster
and we drove to Munster as well.

It was great to see each other
even if it was 'only' for a late lunch.
It was a special week:
Inner demons came up and 
we were celebrating at the same time :-)


In Beirut lot of inner demons come up....
lot of people with war trauma's.
How many people 'felt' emotions 
from their parents, siblings
and are still reacting from that place....

I wish and hope they and we all,
will deal with our inner demons 
AND will celebrate live....
Focus on what is good,
so more of this will come
instead of focusing on what we don't want....

Choose and.....be nice to yourself
every start is challenging...
Trust....
When I look at my first photo book,
I remember my mom next to me,
telling me how to do it.
However: 
I had to glue the pictures
and write next to it, myself.
I was not straight,
not how it 'should be'
or perhaps.....
exactly as it should be 
for a child at my age then......
My mom said:
'it's ok, it's your first time,
and it will get better and better'
Trust....






 
 

Wednesday 19 August 2020

Emotion and freedom...

 

While in the sauna, 
looking at a chunk of ice on a hot furnace, 
I realised that melting a chunk of ice
takes time....
I left the sauna
before it was all melted....
....it was to hot...

Is this what we often do
when dealing with emotions?
We let go and....
then it get's 'to hot'....
and we walk away....

We are free to walk away,
and we are free to go back to them,
to deal with our emotions 
on a deeper level.

If we keep walking away,
instead of feeling free,
those emotion will put us in prison....
A prison.....

Is my mind open by wonder
or are there still parts 
that are closed by believe....

'When I see you, 
you are always enjoying what you do,
even drinking water.....'

'You are not realistic,
people don't take there own responsibility,
they don't!'

'We all will be chipped,
vaccination will be mandatory,
what will you do?!?'

'People think about themselves first,
they don't care about the community'


Do we really pay attention?
And then I mean:
attention to our own emotions
and let that be our teacher.....
or do we prefer to live in our own 'prison'
instead of freedom.

We only can go out of our own prison
if we see we are in.....

I woke up from a dream:
There was a test going on 
and everyone had to work for them selves.
I was so busy to do it right,
AND 
looking around at others.
I saw they got forms/papers,
that I didn't have and.....
I got anxious...
When the time was almost up,
I saw the same forms/papers 
were just next to me....
I didn't see them because I was to busy with others....

At the next step, 
we had to do exercises and puzzles
all around 'a place'.
I worked hard and....
again looked around at other people..

The time was almost up 
and I had not finished them all. 
I saw other people doing nothing
and I was frustrated: 
'why didn't they do what they had to do
or at least help others?!?

'Someone' asked them to do there thing
or help someone else finish.
One of them
-who did 'nothing'- 
came to me and....
was just sitting there....again....doing 'nothing' ?!?

When I woke up, 
I felt frustrated.....

Thinking about it, I realised
that I was judging.....
I wanted them to do more,
why?!?
How hard am I on my self?!?

Do I believe 
they do the best they can 
or 
do I think they consciously
are sabotaging....
AND
what does this mirror me...

Do I REALLY forgive myself for the past,
do I REALLY believe I did the best I could,
or is there still a part that is judging myself....

Quilt and Shame....our prison....Saturn...
Forgiving and taking responsibility.....
the key out of prison.....also Saturn...
The key to freedom:
the bridge of Cheiron...
 

Most of us are standing 
on the bridge from Saturn to Uranus,
Chiron.
The bridge that takes us
from responsibility to Freedom.

We HAVE to go over
if we want freedom.
We have the choice
to 'deal with the chunk of ice'
in our selves.....
take our time to melt it,
or walk away....

Going over the bridge to freedom
can mean we get our feed wet.....

...it is worth it! 
How do you see YOUR future?

I hope it is one of love peace and happiness :-)


Wednesday 12 August 2020

Mind ..... Be the change......from Saturn to Uranus....4



When I started my blog about the mind,
I never imagined that it would be more than one entry.

I wanted to talk about the mind and Covid 19/Corona,
and then there was a blast in Beirut
and drownings in Holland because of a strong undertow.

Someone asked about the last one
and I realise that this is also a mirror:
how many emotions are not being seen,
but are very, very dangerous,
if you don't realize they are there.....
Are we living in a free world
or are we prisoners?

I started the first blog about the mind
talking about Uranus going retrograde on the 12th.
Uranus, the planet of sudden changes, rebellion
and being unique, being YOU.

Freedom is not possible 
if there are no rules, no boundaries:
-look at traffic: I am glad there are traffic lights.
-parents make sure there kids wear coats if it is cold,
 even if they don't like it. Parents protect.
-A builder has an certificate,
 to make sure if you buy a house that is safe,
 you don't need to check,
 you have the freedom to choose....

These rules/boundaries are Saturn,
and we need these to go to Uranus,
so we can make a conscious free choice.

We learned as a child, as a young adult,
how to live in society and then.....
we do it ourselves:
keep the rules that are good for us,
and let go of rules we don't need anymore.

Now someone can say:
'Then I choose to go in a car while being drunk....'
....then you see an Uranus energy without boundaries,
without Saturn, without responsibility....


Between Saturn and Uranus there is 'a bridge'.
To go from one to the other 
you have to deal with your 'wound'....Chiron.
If you deal with this,
your healed wound
will be an asset,
not only for you,
also for the community.

Most people of us have a connection 
with Chiron and Uranus:
if we not deal with our wound,
we can not be totally free....
our 'child mind' takes over
and we 'have to ' rebel, point fingers....

Society, groups of people, war lords, family,
all signs of Uranus.

Only......
like-minded people can also be stubborn,
'our way is the only way'
and....
that is NOT a sign of Uranus,
that is a sign of Saturn.....


Uranus respect all people
and believes that together we make society,
and.....
we can have different opinions,
we should!

By different opinions,
we see all sides,
and can make a conscious decision.
We can change our opinion....
if our mind is open
and we are grounded,
If we feel safe to be ourselves.


Doctors who treated the first Covid patients in the ICU,
had to do in a way that they thought was best:
they didn't know anything about this virus,
so that was challenging....
Now patients are treated in a different way....
they were open to learn and not afraid 
to say they did what they thought was best,
only now they know better.....

If we Know more, 
we can make changes.
If we are insecure about ourselves,
our mind is closed
and we can not go from Saturn to Uranus...
we will be 'stuck' in Chiron....


Can we BE the change,
can I be the change.....



We planned to go to London

to see our son and bonus daughter,

as soon as it was possible to fly.

Everything went well

till the last minute.....


Just before going to the airport

I saw lot's of messages on whatsapp,

the last one was a not so happy smily face...

What happened?!?


Our daughter came back from Congo.

We didn't see her for a long, long time,

and she had to be in quarantine for 2 weeks.

She was healthy

and after a few days,

we decided to go and visit her.

We hugged her and talked.

It was only a few hours and....

it felt good :-)


Officially we were not supposed to see her,

but we choose to do so:

seeing her was to important

and 'she wasn't sick'.

We didn't stay to long,

and accept for the hugs

we kept distance.

Meeting in a responsible way...


Our daughter couldn't wait to see her friends,

so she decided to take a covid 19 test.

She didn't have to take the test,

she choose to...


She got the results and.....

tested positive....


We took our responsibility:

we cancelled our flights 

and went in quarantine...

Health services called and 

it was great to hear,

that they didn't talk about fear,

they talked about responsibility.....


A part of me felt guilty:

'I didn't follow the rules'

and...

'I will be punished'....

- my child mind.....-

This wasn't true,

they were glad we did what we had to do...

and we went in quarantine,

that we took our responsibility.


I learned much more from this call,

than reading all kind of articles....

Saturn: quilt, shame, responsibility....



Even though we didn't have symptoms,

we are part of a community.

So instead of going to the airport

we took action to change our plans

and....

everything worked out fine.


Even though our flight was not refundable,

they were more than helpful and changed it,

the same with the hotel.....


How come we talk about all the things that go wrong,

instead of all the things that go right....

And how often do we want it

OUR way and are we not flexible

not trusting that another way could be better....


From today Uranus is retrograde....

Do you take time to look inside

to heal?

I hope so.

I hope we all can go over 'the bridge',

deal with our wound 'Chiron'

so we can be ourselves 

AND be part of the community.


Turn, turn, turn....


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKP4cfU28vM


We went in quarantine,

perhaps not exactly in the way 'the rules' are....

We choose to be responsible

AND we choose for freedom....


We are lucky to live in an area 

where there is no Covid 19 at het moment,

and there is lot's of space.

So I went for walks and we went for bike rides.


Was this wrong

or was it taking responsibility for us,

without harming others.

We couldn't have done this

if we lived in an area with lot's of infections...


At the moment there are more and more people infected,

especially young people..

There will be more rules.....

Saturn.....


I hope and wish that we can take responsibility for ourselves.

Deal with old hurt,

that makes us believe we can not be who we want to be,

that makes us believe we will be punished,

that forgot our talents,

our uniqueness 


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHFxncb1gRY


I hope and wish

we remember our uniqueness

AND

that we are all ONE....

that we are part of the community

and the 'only' thing we have to do is:


Be love,

Be trust,

Be patient

and 

Be open 

to attract all we desire.


What is your choice?


Monday 10 August 2020

Mind .....child mind or adult mind.....love or fear...3



Are you, the adult you,

making the choice,

or the 'child' you.....

If it is the 'child you',

most likely you are not choosing

from love,

but from fear....


The beginning of this year

we got great news:

we will be grandparents the end of the year :-)

I am happy for my son and bonus daughter

and told myself from the beginning:

'We live far away from each other

so it will be challenging to have a close connection.

I am so happy for them and I Know

she will have the best parents a child could have.'


People who know me,

know that I love children...

all children

and

if I can do something to make them feel better I do 

and

all children can be who they are

and most of them feel they can with me :-)


When I looked at the questions I put in the blog last time,

I wrote down my first reactions.

One was:

-my safe place was my grandma......


Not my mom, but my grandma...

She lived next to us,

and I could go there,

felt always welcome,

I didn't have to do anything....

I always felt loved....


When my grandfather died,

I lived with her for a year.

She made little carpets for our children,

when I became a mom

and that felt very special.

She had sooo many great-grand children,

and she made them only for them...


In my mind she was my safe place.....

and...

in my mind I 'thought' 

that I could not be 

that grandmother as she was,

for our grandchild.....

because 

'she will live far a way from me

and I lived next door to my grandmother'


I said:

'It is ok, I love all children and

will treat all other children 

as if they are my grandchildren'....


Today I realised that our children 

had grandparents far away as well 

and...

our children loved there grandparents,

felt close to them,

had secret between them

-Bas and his grandfather-

and Anne,

when asked what she wanted to be when she grew up,

said:

'I want to be like grandma'

When I asked her why?!?

She said:

'then I can wash clothes'...

-I never washed clothes by hand,

and she did this with my mom

and loved it :-)-

Loes was close to her other grandma

and did everything to make her feel loved.

She was also very protective

and angry when she felt she was not treated well...



So...



How come I believed it was not possible

to have a close connection with our grandchild

and 

'forgot' about the experience of our children....


THAT is how the mind works....

Old patterns are really persistent....

a part of you 'thinks' 

it HAS to keep

these patterns because....

it is safe and will protect you....


Yes....

it is safe for the 'child mind'...

however....

I am not that child anymore....


Could it be that part of me

still likes to make sure that kids

feel loved and can be themselves

because

I KNOW how it feels if that doesn't happen

and......

wish that they don't have 

to go through something I had to go through....


I am sure it is

and...

I am glad I can let go of this

something I don't need anymore...

I learned to love myself....



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55476dCgSsw



I realise now

that the healing of my inner child

changed my 'child mind'....

and I am grateful.


Was my 'trauma'

that my mom had 3 children within 3 years

and I was the oldest?!?

Didn't I felt 'Seen'.......?




-something to say to yourself when you like in the mirror....-


Forgiving...

Most of the time

we talk about this

and talk about forgiving someone else....


Forgiving someone else can be the first step...

however....

you also have to forgive yourself...

or you can not go on...


Forgive yourself 

that you couldn't do anything  else,

because you were just a child....

you did the best you could,

you NEEDED to do this,

to make sure you would feel safe...


Now you are older and wiser...

Now you can choose to move on

and let your past be the past...

that it was a period of your life

where you learned a lot of lessons

lessons 

you don't need to learn anymore...


-I had 3 children within 3 years.....

did I change a family pattern......

I hope and think so 

AND...

I am sure I made 'mistakes'....

and...

our children are wiser than I was at that age :-)-


You don't have to survive anymore....

you can start living and enjoy life.


If your mind is 'protecting' you 

by these

'small' incidents,

Imagine how it is

if there is real trauma...

and

realise we ALL have these 'old patterns' in us...


A death, divorce, virus or war....

How many people in Beirut are dealing with old hurt

AND

now this new trauma....


I know the world is changing,

I know there are lots of people in Beirut,

who are powerful

and dealing with there 'child mind'

and changing it in the 'adult mind'.


An adult takes action from love,

a child from fear....



So how is it with Covid 19/Corona

How do we deal with it?

Form love, or from fear.....



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55476dCgSsw



It all start with children....

If we want a world of love, peace and joy,

we have to start with our inner child,

with all the children.


Because of the covid 19/corona rules,

a lot of parents got more time 

with there children than ever before....

how important...

The air is so much cleaner than it was before....

how great....

We can still choose.....

only....

our choices are not without consequences....


It was never without consequences,

only we see the consequences  quicker

than ever before.

The energy is quicker:

so do you act from love or fear:

you will attract that energy...


And live goes on...

we can choose everyday

to have a great life.

Whatever you decide to let go in your life,

helps your children.....

they will get an easier live....

And....

it will help the next generation

So, if you want to help to get 

to live in a world

of respect and love,

the best way to do it,

is being happy yourself....


Look at the mirrors,

let go of guild and shame

and accept, trust and choose....













Saturday 8 August 2020

Mind .....we have a choice.....2


 


Sometimes you have to find a way past the obstacles....

If enough people do this,

there will be a new road....

Like you see in the picture....


The fence is there to make sure

you pay attention:

there is another road....


A lot of people saw this 

AND

decided to pay attention

AND

take there own path....


I see the fence as authority, government,

religion, upbringing:

it should be something to help

you grow,

and make sure you are safe.....


Sometimes, we have to

make new decisions,

because time changed,

we changed....

We still need guidance

only in a different way....


When I look at Lebanon,

I see that the people are not happy,

already for a long time....

Lot of corruption and....

lot of pain.....


How can you change 

if something like this is going on?


I had to think about Nelson Mandela.

He changed South Africa....

People thought there would be a war again,

when he became the leader.

They thought Nelson Mandela should be sooo angry:

he was put in jail for almost 30 years!!


No....

he talked about forgiveness,

people took responsibility

and change happened....


Can Lebanon do the same?

Build a new country

AND

take an even bigger step.....


After Nelson Mandela was gone,

there was still anger,

there were and are still things that are not ok.


For me it shows that even though

a leader has dealt with its issues,

he can not do it for others.....

He couldn't do it for his wife,

he couldn't do it for the rest of the people....


Taking responsibility 

is something we ALL have to do for our selves...


Looking back,

is only ok, 

if we also look at our shadow....

and choose to deal with it.


If not....

that shadow

will block our future.....


Let's deal with it....

so our shadow can 

'walk with us'

while we heal....

and we can start building a future,

a future we choose to,

a future that makes us all happy.


In Holland there is an account number

to support people in Lebanon.

It is not going to the government,

it is going to NGO's....

there is not enough trust in the government...


Sometimes the people who we should trust 

for our safety,

are not there to do what they should do

and then we should make different choices.



How is that with the Covid 19/corona virus?

How about those rules?

Some don't agree, some do,

some feel restricted, some don't....


I realise that it is all about our selves...

going our own path.

Respecting ourselves AND the community...

When I hear our prime minister,

I hear him talk about responsibility

and....

sometimes I am shocked 

that people don't take more responsibility themselves....

'forget' that we are all One...


As I wrote before:

often I get the chance to get personal experience.....


For me it felt good

as a society to go into ourselves,

and deal with personal issues.

If we had a choice, 

we would not have chosen a virus 

I assume,

and I am sure Lebanon would not have 

chosen for this explosion....

but....

it gave a lot of people chances....

Chances to change....


I know a lot of people 

who talked about

going back to nature, 

taking time for themselves

and how they didn't like the 'rat race' of society

and...

Covid 19 made sure they got time for themselves,

nature got time to recover from pollution,

so....

they got what they asked for

only not in a way the imagined....


Instead of going inside 

they complained.....


Are we still reacting from a hurt part deep down?

I am sure we do.....


In Beirut there is a lot of hurt,

hurt because of the wars,

people with trauma's,

and dealing with different religions.

A lot of people growing up,

didn't have a safe childhood.


How is it with the rest of us?

Was our childhood safe?

Was there someone you could to,

who felt safe,

were you could just be you?

How did you get punished/disciplined?

How was school, city/town?

Could you be YOU?


We now know,

how important the first years of children are....


Realise that all children want to please there parents....

even children who are abused....

Do you know YOUR truth?

Or are you still protecting others.....

It is not or/or...

it is and/and......


I had a great childhood

AND

a very challenging one....

By taking responsibility for ME,

I had to let go of some people

and....those challenges made me stronger...


Am I totally free?

Not yet....but I am getting closer and closer;-)


Today we biked through the forest and saw this,

realising that this is how a lot of people are...



Looking big and strong from the outside,

not showing what is inside.....

How many of us feel 'hollow'....

and how do we fill this space.....

You make your future

by how you fill this hollow part:

with anger, sorrow, worry,

or 

with forgiveness and love...


It is YOUR choice.....

How do you fill it?
Looking back....
and looking forward.....

I choose to look forward and deal with my shadow....
what do you choose?

Wednesday 5 August 2020

Your mind......sending love and healing to the people in Beirut

'It is so easy to feed your brain with information

that is close to you, familiar,

it is safe.....

If you are 'against' something or 'pro' something:

you always will find something that proves you are right....


The challenge is to feed your brain with ALL kind of information!

If you do, you make sure your brain has to re-think,

to find out what is right for YOU....


Uranus will go retrograde on Aug. 16

and we get time to -re-think the period from May till now.

Did you do what YOU wanted 

or did you follow 'the group'....


When I looked back, 

I realised that a lot has happened last month

and....

Uranus like,

lots of 'unexpected situations'....

We all get to re-think, re-visit,

go inside,

 till the beginning of jan. 2021....'



This was the beginning of my blog

and then there was the explosion in Beirut....

I saw a post from someone in Beirut

posted that morning:

 'It will be a great day'

with a sunny picture ....


Lebanon has a challenging history...

a beautiful country

and lot's of wars,

lot's of refugees.


How is their government,

do they take care of the people?

Do they take responsibility

or....do they need a 'wake up' call

from the people

or....an unexpected incident....


We are all ONE,

and I am sure the world will help

the coming time...

I saw Qatar is sending field hospitals,

Holland sending first aid helpers and

I am sure more country's will follow.



The explosion started with something 

that shouldn't be there...

People will have to take responsibility...

and something needs to change.

Most likely in the government

and also in the people...


It is easy to get angry at the government

and forget to look inside.....


Adults in Lebanon 

are now in a same situation as

when they were young:

they were in a war back then

and now if feels like a war again.


Did they heal their old hurt,

or is there some healing necessary,

and will they choose to do that now....

It would be great if they did...

especially if they have children...


Some people realised their hurt

and I know they looked at it

and are in a healing process.


They could stay calm with there children...

and made sure they felt safe.


Those people will be 

as important for Lebanon

as the rebuilding of the city.....

So Lebanon can be a country

of peace and abundance again....


-this was the rest of my blog-


'I realise that sometimes 

I still react from an old pattern:

'I have to do it myself,

because no one else will help me'....


How come I don't take the time?

Do I not have enough patience

or don't I trust enough?'

 

When I read this again,

I wondered how much patience you need?!?


Perhaps sometimes you HAVE to stand up,

take action.

The only healthy way to do it,

is to go to your fear first....

Letting go of fear

is only possible

if you take responsibility for your self.

Then, instead of anger,

it leads to action.

This will lead to change:

Instead of hate you see

how it can be.


You work together

from integrity,

from power and responsibility

to make changes....

big changes....


I wish everyone the courage 

to change anger into action...

It is needed in Beirut

and....

it is needed in everyone life at the moment.


Next time more...






Sunday 2 August 2020

We are all empaths....roots are important.



More and more I realise
that we ALL are empaths....
 At least.....
we start that way
and depending on what kind of element
is most important to you,
you deal with emotions and stress
in a different way.

Fire persons get angry/ run away,
Earth persons are going to help others
Air persons 'park' there emotions
and start to solve problems,
Water persons are desolving.....merging,
forget who they are....

You see this in children
and often they are mis-understood,
and,
if not dealing with this as an adult,
will stay an 'immature empath'....

A child needs guidance and respect
from the adults around them
and...
they can only give it to their children
if they deal with there own 'hurt' inside...


Can we be thankful for our childhood....
thankful.... 
It is only possible
if we choose to
deal with our anger, hurt and old emotions....
If we can, 
than our childhood will be the roots
to be strong and helpful in an authentic way...
YOUR way....

A fire person takes action, creates,
an earth person helps because it have lot's to give,
an air person sees patterns and help others to see them to
and a water person heals others,
just by being there,
and show that we are all one....

This is something 
that takes time....

While you keep going on your path,
you can make changes....
In your job, in society,
with friends, meeting people. 

It could feel like something small....
however.....
it isn't small!!
One smile can help others not to take their lives....
one word can make a difference how people feel,
one hug giving unconditionaly can make people heal....
And if you still think you are to small to make a difference:
think about a mosquito in your bedroom to night...;-)


Start focus on what you want....
...instead of what you don't....

I enjoy life and....
it is not always going as I would like it to go
and....
I KNOW it goes the way it should be.....
If I want it different,
I can decide to choose different....
and if that is not possible,
I accept and trust....
I don't have the big picture...
Suffering, 
is for me 
something in the mind:
expectations....
you 'think' that you know what is best and....
that is not always the case...
at least....not for your soul....

I made the choice to leave Holland
and go for a job abroad,
when I was 23...
Now I know I needed to get away
to find myself....
I was to close to the people around me...

Does everyone have to go abroad to find themselves?
No! Some do, some find other ways....
there is no good or bad way...
You 'just' have to deal with the consequences!

There is one thing we all want....
feeling loved.....

As a child 
that is what we need and want,
and...
we don't think about the consequences...
we shouldn't have to....
As an adult
we have to....
at least if we choose to be ourselves,
to be unique, authentic.
We have to make a choice
to let old patterns go
and
we only can do this
if we KNOW that we ARE love....


We liked to feel loved,
to feel accepted.
To be who we wanted to be....
was often sacrificed... 

Being unique was less important
than being loved...
So we did all we could to be loved
sacrificing being unique...
As an adult we NEED both...


Do you still remember,
or did you forgot
your uniqueness?

Choose to start heal the past,
to remember that you are
unconditionaly loved.....

If you have people who let you believe
you are not good enough 
just the way you are,
you can choose to let them go....
they are NOT right......
and....you are not a child anymore...
Choose love!

How come 
you still attract these people?
What did people 
let you believe about yourself
that you are a magnet to them?
At the moment 
I hear and read a lot about
the corona/covid 19 rules.
Are these the biggest prison we are in right now?
Or is the virus our biggest prison?
I don't think so....

Fear......and hurt...
and it can show in lot's of ways....
and it all comes from the first chakra....
How is your health?
Your relationship with money?

Is your desire to live an abundant life
bigger than your fear?
Are you still reacting 
from a subconscious part,
the part that needs to proof 
that it is loveble?
How are you reacting if there is a stressfull situation?
In a calming, trusting way
or in a way of a child....an immature empath....

Make sure that you live your life....
Focus on you.....
and be grateful at the mirrors society gives us.
And...
as an adult you have to deal with the consequences,
and
like in school,
you get more than one opportunitie;-)