Thursday 29 April 2021


 This is an image of the energy of Pluto.....

The planet Pluto went into Capricorn in 2008 

and will stay there till  2024.

A time of big change for us all as society.

Pluto digs up destructive and unconscious patterns.

It confronts you/us who you/we really are.

It is about dead, rebirth and transformation,

often painful, 

always necessary and liberating...

It's about The truth....

Pluto doesn't give us a choice,

you HAVE to deal with it and

YOU have to deal with it.....

no one else can do it for you......

The only choice Pluto will give you

is how you are going to deal with it......

Can you accept, grieve and move on 

or do you choose to 

not accept, fight and stay a victim....

For people who know their Astrological chart:

the house were Pluto is transiting, 

is where you will feel this energy.

There the transformation takes place....

For me it is the fourth house:

family, emotional safety, home...

a lot of transformation took place already.

All little children are like this.......

Let's remember this!

Also let us realise that 

it is so easy to forget 

what life is really about.

That life is about You......

You as centre and You as mirror,

You as part of One....

If we, as parents, have old patterns, 

children feel and react to them.

If we as society have old patterns

people feel and react to them as well.

With Pluto in Capricorn now,

they need to change....

It is time to see, 

accept and transform these old patterns

so the new generation 

can be who they are from the inside:

unique, authentic and love.

Can we give children the feeling that

they are good just the way they are

or do we have to label them.....


do they have to go through

the same process we had to go through....again....

Do we, as society,

transform, respect and see each other

so we can live in a peaceful new society


do we keep focussing on what's wrong,

keep putting labels on people and groups,

so we don't have to take our responsibility

to really transform......

do we need more 'Covids' wake us up

We as society changed since 2008.

The middle east started changing,

dictators had to go


new ones stood up...

Most of us found 'our voice',

and extreme groups, 

left and right, were born.

We see leadership from inner power

and leadership of power/dictatorship.

Pluto makes sure it comes up.....

secrets will be revealed

and the truth will come out...

own way or the other.

Painful sometimes, but necessary...

Empathy.......and a mature ego.

How is this in politics.....

Who did we choose?

Did we choose a man/woman

who looked nice,

promised to make our life easier

and are they doing this


did we choose an immature ego

who needs power

because of unsolved issues themselves...


what is it mirroring us/me....


Pluto is also power/primal force.
This power can be transforming
or destroying.....

The power you see in people 
while knowing a loved one is in danger 
and need to be saved...

The power you see in people
while going through an emotional period 
after loosing a loved one.

The power you see in people
while recovering of a deadly disease.

The power you see in people
while going through a divorce.

The power you see in people
while transforming their business
so they can survive and even thrive
in this challenging time 
with lot's of restrictions.... 

How many secrets will be revealed,

how many truths will come in the open

the coming time....

What about you?

Are you prepared to dig deep,

transform destructive and unconscious patterns?

Are you going for your own 'rebirth'?

Do you realize you have this primal force,

this Pluto energy in side you?

How are you going to use it?

And are you enjoying life in the meantime

and be nice to yourself?

You should!

You are doing an amazing 'job'!

Monday 26 April 2021



Tomorrow there will be a Supermoon,

the first of 3.

A Supermoon is 14% bigger 

and 30% brighter than a 'normal moon'.

Full moons....

lot's of story's about them...

all about emotions....

The Sun and Moon are opposite each other

at the moment of a full Moon, 

so there is 'a conflict'.

A conflict between your mind and your feeling,

something that wants to be healed,

to be in balance again...

So unsolved emotions can come up
during this time.

With this first Super moon, the planet Pluto
will go retrograde,
we will re-visit situations from the past year.

Situation were we were manipulating ourselves,
not using our own power.
Situations that have to do with fear,
holding on to old believes.

In Holland there will be less restrictions
as from tomorrow:
can we as society use our inner power
and do what is needed 
do we need Pluto to show us we can't ....yet...
Will we see more people getting sick
or even die......
or can we deal with it....

Do we know what is true of false,
or don't we want to know deep down.....

Neptune is involved as well: 
do you use your intuition or
are you reacting from emotions?
Are you still a victim or a victor 
a bit of both in different situations.....
are you in 'a fog'.....

If we want to change the world,
we have to start with ourselves 
and.....we get the chance now!

The second Supermoon is May 26
and the third one June 26.
That is the time when Uranus and Saturn 
will make an exact square for the second time:
can we be responsible for our selves,
let go of old believes/old rules 
realise we are One,
part of society
do we need more time.....

Can you accept that someone else see it their way
and feel for them
or do you think 
you are the only one who sees it the right way....

Pluto will stay retrograde for a half year,
just in time for the last square of Saturn/Uranus.
Will we be ready then?

I have 'a trapped' nerve in my back....
a sign of unbalanced energy....
I wake up at night because it 'wants' attention....
Dreams give me signs and I know the theme.... is not over yet.....
It takes some more attention,
more love and...
patience ;-)

Knowing with your head is one thing...
to let go, emotional letting go, 
is a second one....

Years ago, this was the reason 
I wanted to heal......
I didn't want to pass my wounds
to my children....

Now I still am in the process of healing,
only now there is another reason as well:
I choose to have a happy life.....
I realise,
 that years ago,
I didn't/couldn't do it for my self ...yet,
I didn't think I was worth it.....
I did it from an energy of guilt and shame,
or being responsible for everyone 
and 'forgetting' that I deserved better as well....

My kids helped me to start,
now I choose more and more to do it for ME....
Can you relate?
If you are not a parent,
it is still important for you....
We all can make sure we treat children 
the way they need to be treated....
with love....
By doing this we not only help them,
we also help our inner child....

Knowing and accepting,
 that they are exactly as they should be.
Looking at their emotions 
and see signs:
mirrors for our own wounds,
mirrors of our owns uniqueness.
Uniqueness we don't know we have,
not able to own yet.....

Pieter Riezebos is a famous artist,
living in Shanghai.
Born in the Netherlands and....'a misfit'......
an authentic person who wasn't seen by society......

His motto to all kids who feel different,
not being seen:
'Look at me, if I can do it,
you can do it as well'...

sometime you have to go trough the dark night of the soul,
to find yourself......

The coming half year we will get lot's of opportunity's....
Opportunity's to transform
so we can be ourselves/authentic.....

And if we can, 
if we choose to, 
we can contribute to society,
by being ourselves,
without the need to prove,
without the need to blame and shame.
Reclaiming our intuition,
and shine in our own way.

If I look at pictures from last year,
I see that the whether was warmer,
nature more in bloom,
and much greener than this year.....
We have to be a bit more patient......

Let's be there for each other the coming months.
Let's respond instead of react.
Let's remember we are all in the same boat,
we are guided, get signs
and are born to be happy!

Wednesday 21 April 2021

Judging....we are all the same and different....

 I love this image....

both were close, 

having their meal together,

moving around

all in peace and happiness....

How is this with us....

Can we stay with ourselves

next to each other,

Knowing there is enough for all,

only focusing on what we need

and makes us happy...

I believe we all judge.....

we shouldn't condemn.....

a big difference...


If you look at the story's in the media,

on Facebook and in newspapers,

it looks like there are bad and good people,

stupid and clever ones,

people that are 'asleep' or 'a wake'.

How come we do this?

Could it be that we are afraid of parts of ourselves?

parts we condemn and want to keep hidden?

Parts of us that are not healed yet?

How come we still talk about mistakes

as something that is bad......

If we would never make a 'mistake'....

how would we learn?!?

If you see all kind of mistakes in other people,

could it be that is to hide your one mistakes?

Do you condemn yourself for it

and don't want to deal with it?

How come you can not forgive yourself....

How come you are so afraid.....

so afraid that someone will see you in a way

you think they don't approve......

Realise and choose....
Realise we are all the same....
we all want to be happy and healthy
live in peace
Realise we ARE LOVE....
situations in our past put layers around it.
Fear did this.....

We can choose for love
and let go of the walls
or choose for fear
and let the walls be......
We can stay a victim or be a victor....

In Holland there will be less restrictions starting next week.
There are still lots of people on the IC
and a lot of people are contaminated.
A reporter asked:
'Why now, is it safe enough?!?'
The prime minister:
'We choose to take a risk,
we see a change
-even if it is not in the day numbers-
and we have to look at the community as well.
To go back to an more open society
we have to take risks...
and we think this is a good one'

Can we as society take our responsibility
and help open up society?
I hope so.
When asked why they didn't open zoo's or
sports clubs
he said:
'We did this last year and we got the results....
everything had to close again....'

In June we have the second square of Saturn/Uranus.
We will be tested :-)
Can we be responsible AND be part of society?
We will see....
Let's choose to go from victim reality
to victor reality.
Knowing we are on a path.....not at our destination yet...
We are both asleep and awake,
'good' and 'bad',
we are all human
different and the same.

Monday 19 April 2021

Everyone blooms in it's own time....

 I loved this flower.....

not open yet,

but you can imagine how it will be.....

especially since there was another one

that showed us how it could be

Isn't this what we do?

Imagine a future because we think we know the outcome?

Flower buds are a sign of promise for me,

a promise of something new, 

something amazing.

And then.....

Instead of blooming it died....

'What did I do wrong?!?'

I gave it what it needed....I thought....

and it only could show us 'a promise'

not the end result I expected/wanted to.....

I realised that this is what sometimes happens

with our talents, our expectations,

and also with the talents of our kids or loved ones....

We see the beauty, only.....

sometimes it dies before it blooms....

Was it because it was not mend to be,

or was it because it was not what 

we/they really wanted,

but what was expected from them/us...


While working in the garden,

a stem with leaves and a but snapped.....

It's natural habitat was gone.....

We put it in water and

...we have a beautiful white tulip in the house.

The bulb is still in the garden: next year it will bloom again,

for now we enjoy it in the house....

Do you recognize this with your self, your loved ones, 

or your children?

Do you need to go somewhere else,

do something else to survive to bloom

and is this what your loved ones/kids

need sometimes as well?

Is it someone's fault? 

Did someone something wrong?


I did everything I could to make the flower bloom, didn't work....

Perhaps it needed something that I didn't know,

perhaps it was not mend to bloom,

I don't know,

I only know that I should accept what is.....

That I still remember how it felt

to see the promise in that beautiful bud.

It is a happy feeling :-)

I saw the documentary 'Without a coat' from Snelle on Netflix.

A story about a rapper, born with a cleft palate,

not realising this till he was older.

Was bullied has good friends and a goal.

Now he is successful, works with his friends

and realises that 'his wound' is following him...

In the documentary he try's to avoid it,

now he has taken time of.....

time for him....

Great to watch

to see how Saturn and Uranus work....

How strong a inside goal works....

How challenging it is to be YOU in a society

and even if you can do this and be successful,

if there is still some hurt.....

you NEED to deal with it.....

Thursday 15 April 2021

Wounds and choices.....part 3

And while I look at this picture

I realise that there are sides....

for some this it is not so easy 

and for others it is....

People in the same situation react totally different

in the same situation....

My last blog got different reactions:
it touched something different in different people.
I expected this and because of that,
was a bit 'worried' of writing about it.

It touched my fear of speaking my mind....
'afraid' of the reactions.....
I still did.....

It touched my fear of being 'excluded'....
making a choice 
that some of you would make automatically, 
and others wouldn't make at all...

Where do I belong?
'Which group/family'?
And....what would happen 
if I have a different opinion
than the other group.....
would I be 'punished'?

This is also Saturn/Uranus....
Can you be YOU and be part of society
instead of the feeling 
that you have to choose one side....

If you have the feeling you have,
you Know there is a pain, 
a wound that 'wants/needs to be healed.

It can be safe to stay in a 'trauma identity'....
people feel for you,
you get attention and....
negative attention is also attention....

It is easy to say
'I am a lightworker'
what does it mean to be one?
For me it is someone
who is on a path of being the light.....
letting go of wounds
chooses to heal....
First him/herself,
so he/she can become
'a leader of leaders....'

Do you recognize your trauma?

It can be with health:
-how come you don't take action to get a healthy body?
Do you find excuses to stay in a trauma identity,
or do you choose to get out.
Do you focus on the outcome,
can you feel and see yourself healthy 
are you afraid to focus on that,
afraid you will be 'more powerful than you are'....
afraid to show YOU.....
'afraid' of the responsibility's.....

It can be with relationships:
-how come you don't take action if you are in an unhappy relationship?
Are you afraid you will end up alone, with no new friends?
Or are you afraid you have to deal with issues
and with that 
you have to take responsibility's..... 
Are you afraid you will be 'more powerful than you are'....
afraid to show YOU......

It can be with your place in society:
-how come you don't take action to get your 'dream job'
Are you afraid, they won't take you serious?
Afraid that they only see your 'faults'
not realising that those 'faults' 
helped you to be better than you where before?
Are you afraid that you 
don't have something special to give,
are afraid to show YOU?

It can be financial:
-do you feel there is not enough money 
to do what you want to do
is it really about Your wish,
or is it what you think society
'wants' from you....

Do you want new clothes all the time,
do you want to eat out so often,
do you need to go on expensive holiday's,
do you need to visit 'friends' all the time...

I hear a lot of people talking about 'this year of corona'.
They are experiencing a different world.
A lot of them realising that they 'forgot' about 
the 'I' in the the past
and now they 'had to'.....
Realising that they did to much 
what others expected from them
and are now realising 
that they have a choice. 

They will make different choices
after everything will be open again...
They feel stronger to choose.....
the 'I' is stronger.
They Know they still belong to society 
even if they don't say yes 
to all the things  -the old- 
expects from them......

Was it easy?
I don't think it was an 'easy' year....
growing is never easy.....
we need something/someone
to get us out of our comfort zone ;-)

The biggest challenge is letting go of control....
I realise, 
that even with challenging situations in my life,
situations that I had to let go of control,
I have/had control issues....

This year helped me to deal with them,
I realise that I trust more,
enjoy more.

I also realise that I would like to do more again ;-)
Do things that I can not do now,
because of restrictions.
I Know this will come,
probably there is more healing to do,
more trust needed...
Probably we are not at the 
'tipping point' ....yet...

Wounds and dying.....
Corona and dying.....
Even though so many people 
believe that energy goes on,
that dead is a transformation phase
and part of life,
even so many of us are 'afraid' to die.......
not trusting that we go to that next phase 
when it is our time and not before....

Could it be that this is our biggest wound.....
and because of that
we are afraid to live,
to take chances....

Everything and everyone will be ok....
I believe and trust this.

We don't have to do it alone,
we have each other.
Start living now,
and see your emotions as mirrors,
respond instead of react.

Love is the candle in the dark.
Fear is the dark.....
Love is so much stronger....
YOU are so much stronger....

Sunday 11 April 2021

Wounds and choices....part 2


You can call me a 'conscious vaccinator':
in the past I choose 
which one I wanted and what I didn't want.

When I got my job in Oman,
I had to get some vaccinations....
I had a choice...only.....
I wanted the job more than to reject the vaccination.

We have a choice, always....
The only thing with choices is,
that they have consequences..
If you choose 
you Have to take the consequences as well.....

How do you make your choices:
do you choose from fear
or from power/love.....

We all choose relationships,
sometimes we don't know the consequences
and don't like them in the end.
Luckily we can choose different, 
deal with the consequences
and heal....
choose love instead of fear...

I choose to drive a car,
the consequences are that I have to be alert
and drive safely: I am not the only one on the road....
If I would choose to go by train,
this would be different....

I choose to walk or bike every day,
to make sure my immune system gets a boost
and my mind is clear.
The consequences are that sometimes 
I have to walk in the rain or even in a hailstorm....

I choose to visit people, also older people
in this corona time.
The consequences are that I have to make
sure I am healthy, 
that I take my distance
and if that is not always possible,
I have to be more careful.....
I can choose not to do it,
stay home and complain,
complain about the things I can not do,
instead of doing what I can do......

The other day I got an invitation,
an invitation for a vaccination.
My choice......
It is a vaccination with AstraZeneca vaccine....
What is my choice?

I think my immune system is good and
my self healing ability as well.
I know my age is over 60,
but still....

I don't have to do it for my self...
only I am part of society as well,
I Know my 'I' is important for the 'We'

Then there is all the media attention
about the side effects.....
Did it touch my fear?
And if it did, 
am I going through my fear
and make a conscious decisions,
or I 'just' react to my fear.....
forgetting that only love heals....

All medicine have side effects....
Some people choose to take high blood pressure medicine
because the side effects are better
than having the high blood pressure....
Some people, lots of woman, 
take birth control pills:
the side effects 
are worse than the AstraZeneca vaccine....

Every time you make a choice,
sometimes for your self,
sometimes for  you and your partner
-birth control-
sometimes for 'the group'/ society.

When I went to Oman,
I did it because I choose to work there
and that country 
only wanted vaccinated people
to protect it's people.

For me that is the reason
why I choose to get my vaccination:
to make sure that the hospitals 
or better the doctors and nurses
can 'breath again'.....
perhaps I/we will get sick,
but it would not be that bad 
that we have to end up in the hospital.

We are all One....
take responsibility for yourself and the other.

To be honest:
my first reaction was fear.....
very quickly I realised it was
fear from the media.......
it had touched something inside of me.
I took time to look inside
and deal with it.....
A choice should never be made by fear...

I heard a woman at a demonstration shout:
'we are awake!'....
and I wondered.....
Is she taking birth control pills?
Is she conscious about where she buys her cloths,
buys her food?
Is she investing in her immune system
and realises that stress is not helping?
Why is she shouting?

How do we know if we really are 'awake'?
I investigate opposite sides
and still:
'do I get the whole picture?!?'
I don't know.....

I like to stay curious, to keep investigating,
to heal, 
and to feel, 
if I react from emotion or respond,
and react from intuition.
From fear or love.

I like to stay in a state of realising
that I don't know all....
a state of wonder...
Realising that:
'We are One'
And to make 'the One' whole,
I 'only' have to make sure
that my part, the 'I' is the best it can be....
Love, peace and happiness.....

Do I think everyone should be vaccinated?
That is not on me.....
YOU have to make your own choice
a conscious choice,
one from Love instead of Fear.


Saturday 10 April 2021

Wounds and choices....part 1

I believe that whatever you choose in life,
it is to help you 
to heal your wounded mind.
Help you
to make you whole again.....

Your choice of parents
-I believe YOU choose...-
and later on 
your choice of 
friends and relationships,
education and profession.

These choices,
in the beginning,
are subconscious.
Choices from your soul,
choices to help you heal....

To heal 
you need determination,
and patience.
First you need to learn to live,
to survive, in the world your born in.
Your parents are 'helping' you with this....

For me this is the lesson of Saturn.....
You learn you to be patient,
learn to be responsible,
learn to survive,
to take care of yourself.

If you can do this
-around 28/29 year of age,
you should know how to do this-
it is time for the next step.

The biggest challenge for us,
in this next step,
is to from guilt, shame and fear
to patience, determination 
and being responsible.

To do this we have to raise our consciousness,
realising that we are unique
we are not born to survive,
we are born to live,
to be happy and enjoy life.

Do you live your life,
or the life, someone else/society
thought was good for you.....

I watched the movie 'White tiger'.
It is a story about the consciousness
of a whole nation.

'Can we get out of the rooster pack,
or do we believe we can not...
Do we realise we are in a rooster pack?!?'

It is about India....
stuck in 'Saturn'....
Not believing that YOU have a choice,
still believing 
you have to do as you have been told....
afraid of going over the rainbow bridge, Chiron,
to Uranus......
being unique, authentic...

Shocking and interesting....
especially in the time we live in now....
What does it mirror us.....?

Do you really believe everything is possible
or do you still have doubts...
Do you believe you can live Uranus,
or do you feel stuck in Saturn....

Do you feel strong enough
to speak up quiet...?
Are you being patient,
and be 
'the change you want to see in the world'?
Or do you think you have to 'force' it.....

With Saturn/Uranus

we 'want' to build from a solid new foundation.

A world that doesn't only look good,

but is solid as well, sustainable....

Do we need to do this by force

or step by step,


I believe the last one....

we shouldn't cut corners...

we shouldn't blame and shame....

we should take responsibility....

first for ourselves....

Let go of fear and start to love, to trust again.

Do you have issues with your upbringing?

With your parents,

society your lived in,

religious believes

or friends who turned out not to be friends?

Whatever they did 

and you blame them,

realise YOU choose and.....

as an adult you can also choose to forgive 

and take the next step..

But have to see it,

realise it

like in 'white Tiger'

that you are 'in a rooster pack'...

and you want 'to get out'

This is the start of healing your wounded mind.

If you realise and accept where you are,

you can make the next step....

If will stay a victim,

you will stay in 'a rooster pack',

only a different one.....

How strong is your 'I' in the 'We'?

Do you feel you can be YOU and 

contribute to society?

Are you prepared to look at your wounds

and Know that your soul is whole,

do you take time to heal?

More and more people are looking for

and seeing signs that help them heal.

They recognize them

because they made a commitment.

A commitment

to become whole again,

to live an abundant life.

If you do,

you are being helped.....

WE are being helped.....

We 'wanted' a new/different society,

it was a commitment deep down 

for a lot of people.

Now we get 'Corona' to help us...

We get lot's of 'cancelations'

so we get lot's of time to choose to heal,

to let go of control

and trust....

Probably this is the way

we, as society, 

can heal in the best way....

I also saw 'the serpent'.
A story about the 70's.
It was the beginning of the age of Aquarius,
people wanted to be free,
unique, themselves.

Young people travelled around the world,
a lot went backpacking to Thailand, India and Peru:
'spiritual' places....
Using drugs, alcohol,
connecting to new people
that all people were looking for the same:
love and peace.

I believe in trusting,
I know now that trusting and boundaries
belong together.....
as rules belong to freedom...

Not all of them had a strong Saturn,
didn't know how to set boundaries.
People like 'the Serpent' used this
and a lot of young people were 
robed and even killed....

Now we are again in an energy of Uranus,
we want to connect with people,
we want to be free,
we want 'love and peace'.
Are we ready now?

Can we make choices from a healed mind?
Can we connect AND set boundaries....
can we?
Now it is the internet....
we connect with the world,
we don't need a backpack....

Do we believe all that we read,
do we trust without boundaries....
just like some people in the 60's/70's did?

I saw headlines: 
'In Texas less corona after stopping facemasks'
It was on face book and people posted and reposted it 
to proof that all the regulations we have now,
are wrong.
I checked......fake news....
Yes, they stopped the restrictions,
that is true, but most important:
'We trust the responsibility of the people
to do what is needed 
when going to shops and restaurant.'
They open 
because the economy is effected to much
and expect people to keep distance
and use facemask if they think it is needed....


Are we ready to take our own responsibility
or do we need more time to heal....
more signs....