You are worth it.

 

Neptune went back into Pisces

and on the same day my mind went back 

to a situation years ago.

I realised that people around me

mirrored something that wasn't clear to me....yet...

We lived next to my grandparents,

and while that was very special,

it was also a challenge....especially for my parents.

Or.....was it so family patterns would be clear?

Was it a chance to heal.......

My grandparents had 14 children.

First we lived in a small house 

attached to their house,

some of the aunts and uncles

lived there as well.

Later on, my parents build a house next to them,

and my grandparents moved to the small house.

I have fond memory's of Sunday's when nieces and nephews

came to play with us when their parents visited 'oma and opa'.

When my grandfather died, I moved in with my grandmother

for a year and when I moved to a small apartment, 

I stayed close.

When moving abroad she told me

how tough it would be for my mom......

she knew....her oldest son moved to Canada.

I told her that it was different now,

I would come home every year....

Letting go of a child to find their own happiness,

not knowing, 

letting go of control and....

'just trust'.....

For parents it is not always easy to do,

and it is challenging for us as well.....

With every new face in your life you have to let go....

trust....

follow your intuition instead of staying in your emotions....

Let go of guild and shame/ how it 'should' be

go through your wound -Chiron- to find your talent,

to BE....

Be YOU, unique and yourself.....

Only......the comfort zone can look easier,

than take the next step.....

So....

while taking this step,

have compassion, understanding and patient

with yourself.

When my grandmother became older,

my mom cooked for her and did her laundry,

my parents went for coffee every morning 

-even if it was not very convenient-

My dad went there in the evening to play cards,

so she wouldn't be to lonely.

Her other children came to visit as well,

only.....often on a Sunday:

 they talked with each other

and....she couldn't follow.

She loved having them and didn't complain.

Now I know that is what a parent should do:

seeing that your children grew up as responsible adults

and live their own life.

My grandmother didn't want to go to a nursing home,

and for my parents it was to much to do it all by themselves,

so they thought about a solution.

What if all the children would help out: 

she could stay at home!

Only......

not all children wanted to do that.....

And......

this is when a lot of not such pleasant events happened.

Old family emotions came up:

jealousy, anger, misunderstandings, judging

and....control and 'power'.....

All of a sudden I realised

how tough it must have been,

to live in such a big family.

Not everyone got what he or she needed

and had to 'survive'...

This situation was a chance to 'settle the score'

-subconsciously.....-

'Now'.......they 'could make that right'.....

Emotions, fear.......

My parents became the 'punching ball'

and.....

we as children wanted to protect our parents.....

as if they couldn't do that themselves....

as if we were the parents and not 'only their children'.....

And.....

then it happened again....

with my own brothers and sisters.

In my work, I realised years ago,

that when certain theme's came up,

they were also important for me.

In the beginning when I worked with groups,

I was worried 

that the people in the group wouldn't match.

I quickly realised that there was always a common theme

with the people and......I let go and trust.

The last months the theme of my clients 

are family challenges,

and by this: 'self worth'.

And I wondered:

was there something for me to look at as well?

I realised that challenges arise

when people are in a roll that isn't theirs.

Often children take the roll of the parent,

and it is not their roll to take....

They take it 

to 'help',

to 'feel loved', 

to 'survive'......

By doing this 

they create a victim ship inside of them selves..,

They 'forget' unconditional, 

they create conditional.....

They 'forget' their self worth...

What did you create?

Do you judge 

when you don't get what you think you deserve?

Do you blame 

when you don't get what you expected?

Do you believe 

that you know better and are you upset when

someone does it differently?

Do you act for others 

because you believe they can not do it themselves,

or do it the wrong way

-by your standards-?

When I look back at the situation of my parents,

I see two people who did too much,

too much for others and

while some praised them for it, 

others envied them.

I see two people who did everything 

so we, their children could be themselves,

find their own path.

Most likely because they couldn't always.....

I also see two people who didn't realise

how powerful they were,

how special and how unique.....

What about us, their children?

Did we know how powerful we where?!?

No....we didn't....

We needed 'help'...

We needed 'a storm',

a realisation that we were also not in balance.

Power, unbalanced power.

Was it someone's fault?.....

No....or better: all of us,

in our own way.

Some of us wanted to be 'the boss'

and others didn't say anything.

Till 'awareness' happened and

the old pattern had to brake.

It was challenging and...was needed.

I believe that when we can start to heal within our own families,

we help healing the world,

help building on a world of peace.

When I look at Israel and Gaza,

I Know there is a lot more healing to do.

What is our roll?

How come the 'bully' can get away with something that is not right?

Could it be that it is the same pattern as we have in families,

in groups, clubs....

Could it be that most people are 'afraid' to say something?

Forgetting that if we all speak up,

their will be a change?

Could it be that we 'forgot' our self worth?

We are not a victim,

we can speak up,

we can vote.

We can also keep on blaming,

keep on judging

keep on projecting.

What is your choice?

Remember: 

'You are powerful beyond measure'.

Remember: 

We are all in it together,

we are each others mirrors,

respect yourself and respect the other.

Speak up and.....are open to listen.

You are worth it!You 

Have patience with yourself and go on......

 

Take the side YOU choose,

not the one that someone else wants you to believe:

check, think for your self, form you own opinion....

Is this still possible?

How influenced are we by media?

Do you believe everything you hear and see?

Are you open to change your opinion

because of your investigation or

do you hold on.....even if it is not right....

We re-visit the period from May to October:

did you learn what you needed to learn,

or do you need another chance......

Do we speak up or are we irritated by people who stand up,

not realising that our emotions show 

that they are just mirrors,

a call for us to stand up for what we believe in.

Speak up from feeling/intuition

instead of emotions......

I remember speaking to a lady, years ago,

who lived in East Berlin,

just before the falling of the Berlin Wall.

Her son asked her years later:

'Why didn't you speak up,

didn't you do anything?!?'

She: 'We didn't even realise we could.....'

When we spoke about it, she was still shocked

that she/all of them. didn't speak up earlier.......

We will finish another cycle next spring:

will we see the same thing in the future

as I saw with this lady from East Berlin?

Will we ask ourselves:

'How come we didn't see it,

how come we let this happen to us ?!?'

Let's be open to receive the seeds of Love and Peace

instead or fear and war......

Let's make sure that we feel more and more 

our self-worth,

so we can Be the change we want to see in the world

and give permission other people to do the same.

Speaking up, voting, respecting,

healing, forgiving and......repeating...

as often as needed.

Treat your mind like your stomach.....

 

A reminder: 

stop blaming yourself for not doing everything

what others/family/society think you should do.

Deal with your emotions so you can

hear your intuition and......KNOW

Know that 'mistakes' are just 

a way how we learn and grow....

Today it is a full Moon.

Sun in Libra, Moon in Aries: how is it with your emotions?

Are you fighting against or.....

did you give up fighting.....

Today Mercury started its Shadow period, 

it will go retrograde next month, Nov. 9.

Do you recognize your thinking.....

are there old patterns/habits that come up.....

Choose to be conscious about these....

On Oct 14 Pluto will go direct again:

what happened in your live from May till now.

Now it is time to show

that you looked inside and transformed 

so you can attract different mirrors.....

It is easy to get in the trap 

of feeling a victim.

Realise this is old.......

You have the choice to change this

AND....do something about it!

-even though you most likely have to wait

 for the results nest spring....-

Neptune will go back into Pisces on Oct 23,

and this can touch an old wound....

It can also bring a feeling of 'togetherness',

KNowing that we are 'all One'.

A wound inside of you and also

a wound in the world.....

It remind us that we are in a 'chaordisch' energy:

chaos, needed for a new order.

Good to remember that from Febr. next year,

Neptune and Saturn are coming together in a new sign:

from Pisces to Aries.

The last time this happened was in 1989,

the fall of the Berlin Wall....

Before that, there were lot's of protests,

people let go of being a victim,

and took action....

What do you do?

Are you attached to your childhood trauma

or....

did you heal: 

take away everything that your learned from it

and remembered your power.

'Be the change you want to see in this world'....

Are you following others,

or are you questioning what you see and read.

Do you realise -with Pluto in Aquarius-

that you are unique, one of a kind,

important for everyone around you.

Do you realise that we can have a world

were everyone is respectful and honest

if we are respectful and honest towards ourselves.

For me it is the time to see how I did the last months:

did I heal what I needed to heal

or do I need some more 'mirrors'.

I see a lot of people going through rough times at the moment,

physical, mental, relational and social.

It is tough AND 

I can feel that I am less emotional attached

and by that can BE there for them in a better way:

they take there own responsibility...or not....

and that is ok: 'mistakes' help you to grow and heal.

In Holland there will be elections this month.

What will people vote?

It seems there is still a big group 

that wants to vote 'against' something....

feel like a victim

and......

hope 'someone' will 'safe them'....

Like in America, Russia and Israel,

in Holland we have a same kind of unhealed leader....

What do WE choose?

Do we choose from fear or Love.... 

from 'them against us' or from 'we are all One'....

We will see and.....

perhaps we need some more chaos first

before we are ready for a new order......

Guild and Shame

 

I hope you have compassion with yourself

while healing your past.

I hope you can see the results of your healing:

being more at peace,

less judging,

enjoying what is.

I believe we never get more than we can deal with

and if you feel you do,

-most of the time-

 it is because you forgot how powerful you are.

If no one reminded you: I will do this today:

You ARE powerful beyond measure.

.

The last months of the year started.....

Time to look back.

How was this year,

do you feel you want or need something to do?

Is it in relationships, your work, your body or

is it your mind?

Autumn is the season of letting go,

of endings and also of harvesting.

Nothing is waisted:

the leaves that fall are composting the soil for next year

and the fruits and grains are making sure 

we nurture ourselves.

Nothing is waisted.......

It is as with emotions, our 'wounds'.

Those wounds

- when looked at and dealt with-

become our compassion,

our understanding, patience

and our intuition.

We let go of judging.

We understand that people need time

-just as we did..-

and even though these wounds keep a scar

-a scar that can still hurt sometime-

it transforms into a 'talent'

When you look at little kids 

you see this......

Sometimes they don't feel understood

and they 'act out'.....

If you respond to the anger with understanding,

often they start crying.....

cleaning out the pain of not being understood....

I also see adults reacting......

most likely because their anger -old anger- is touched....

Shame is born....

Guild means: 

I did something wrong and I can/have to change it.

Shame: I am wrong......

This is not right.....

You were not wrong, 

you take/took responsibility for something 

that is/was not yours to take.

Most likely from an adult who couldn't deal with their own pain.

Shame is a feeling that only belongs to a

scammer, manipulator and perpetrator....

If I look at the media,

at politician and world leaders

I hear a lot of wounded parts.

I see mirrors.

If I look around me,

I also see mirrors.

Looking at these mirrors and taking action

works.....

I see that it works in my own life.

The 'world' is showing me and....

gave me different mirrors :-)

The second half of September gave

me so much joy and love.

It showed me that my energy has changed

in a way that I couldn't have imagined.

I also Know that I will get more mirrors

if I need to heal more or deeper and....

that is ok:

Like nature, 

life is meant to move on,

grow......

if not, 

it will die.....transform 

and also move on.....

Not only woman ;-)....

all human beings.

We 

'Can Be the change we like to see in the world',

just 

'Imagine'....

 

You are another me....

 

We are in 'eclipse season'.

Eclipses are about relationships

and the most important one 

is the relationship with yourself.

What do you need to let go,

so you can be who you are already deep down:

Love and Peace.

We are 'all One'

so everyone you meet is 'another you'.....

It means that if you blame or judge someone,

you really blame and judge yourself.

How come we forgot?

How come we forgot we are all Love?

The lack of love shows in fear....

Do we choose to go through our fear

or....don't we even realise we are afraid.....

We first have to recognize it.

For me this is an ongoing practice,

it comes to me in subtle ways.

I have to be alert and.....

be disciplined......

-at least....if I choose to let go and heal....-

So I choose to recognize my emotion

and....deal with them.

 

I re-read a book of Marianne Williamson: 'Tears of Triumph'

'Healing is a kind of detox, 

everything that needs to leave our system,

first has to come up and then cut.'

Forgiveness is the key.....

remembering that we are all One,

the other is an other you.

So what does this mean for the world we live in....

 

Did we have unhealed parents?

Do we still listen to that part

and are 'unhealed parents' ourselves

or do we choose to deal with it,

so the next generation 

doesn't have to deal with this anymore.

Did/do we do the 'detox'?

Know that our parents did the best they could. 

Do we choose to let 'everything',

 that wasn't unconditionally love but fear,

go....

Can we forgive, let go of the guild and blame

and move forward

or.....

do we need some more mirrors from the outside world.

What are you attracting?

Can you be grateful for the challenging mirrors, Knowing

they are there to help you heal

or....

does your 'wound' give you some benefits

and is dealing with this wound to scary......

that blaming others and find excuses 

is sometimes still the choice you make.....

What if you Knew that the 'only thing'

 your soul wants

is to help you heal,

to help others heal.

To go back to who you really are:

Love and peace,

born to live in abundance.

What if you Knew you don't have to do it all by yourself,

because all the others around you are on the same path:

Love and peace,

living in abundance.

Could you choose to trust,

to be patient

and ask for help if needed

and give help when needed.

Not because you 'get' something from it,

no, just because you Know

that everything you do for others 

is giving to yourself:

We are all One.

Uranus: do you choose to be free or....do you need 'help'.....

 

My last post was about Saturn,

and I hope you take the time,

- till Saturn goes direct again on Nov. 27-

to deal with wrong assumptions,

fears that are not yours

and take the little steps that are needed

to bring you 

were you choose to go to.

Take the time to surrender, integrate

and set good boundaries

so when Saturn will go back in to Aries

you can follow your inner authority,

your true individual purpose within society/world.

You will being helped by Uranus,

the planet that 'helps' you being YOU, unique and free.

I write 'help' because sometimes we don't like the way 

we are being helped.....

Uranus can be very unpredictable....

Sometimes we like to hold on to situations/people/patterns

even though it is not what our soul wants....

How do you communicate with yourself?

What did happen in the last two months?

Was there 'stress', restlessness, sudden changes,

did you 'break' something, was there a challenge with 'accidents'?

Uranus and Saturn will help you

to be AND free to be yourself 

AND do this in a responsible way.

Between Nov. 7 and March 25 2026 Uranus will go back in Taurus.

Ending up the cycle that started in 2018.

What happened in your life?

Were there sudden changes or did you make changes yourself?

We moved back to Holland.....

we could have stayed, only choose not to.

It was not good for Jaap so he choose for himself

and I.......

realised very quickly that it was good for me too....

We had to find a way to be together AND be ourselves....

It was a time of renovations,

sudden trips to help out and enjoy.

Also the suicide of my brother....

 

Taurus: 

feeling safe, secure, holding on to patterns....

Uranus 'showed' some old patterns that were not good 

for me anymore

- I even needed a melanoma to remind me:

why did I hide my anger?!?-

We traveled a lot, enjoyed sauna days,

and found likeminded people 

in places we never could have imaged.

That is my wish for you all....

Let go of guild an shame and be responsible,

be patient AND....

choose to enjoy life, 

live NOW.

The coming time will be a time to choose.

How do you want to live your life?

Look at the world around you....

What do you attract?

You only can attract the same energy as you are in.

Change your energy, 

so you can attract something different.

Realise that sometimes we believe 

we have to hold on to certain patterns,

even if they are not the best for you.

Where do they come from and.....

how come you are holding on to them?!?

With Taurus you can think about

-feeling safe and secure as a child

-being loved unconditional, not unconditional tolerance.....

I still have an old pattern that I find hard to let go.....

When I went to London often to 'help out',

it realise it also was an excuse.....

I helped out AND did what I loved to do,

exploring, enjoying the city.

How come I can not do this when I 

'don't have to help'?!?

Now I don't have to go to London to help out,

I go to The Hague

only....it is not to helping out

it is more to enjoy 

and I know I made a big step,

only......

Can I choose to go and do the things that make me extra happy,

'just' because I like it?!?

Or....is there a part of me that believe I 'should' be there for others,

I have to 'deserve' it.....

I KNow it is an old pattern,

and I also Know I made big steps

only....I am not there yet.

I also know I have some time left to deal with it.

Uranus and Saturn will help me to look inside

and deal with some more of these old pattern,

so I can start 'new' next spring :-)

Nobody needs to be fixed.....

they can do it themselves.

Only.....

we all can be there for each other

in our own unique way.

Have compassion, guide,

respect and be patient,

just BE there for each other on our path.

So choose not to judge, 

instead of reacting, responding.

Take time to be nice to you,

to be patient and trust.

Trust that everything that comes your way,

comes because you need it

AND

you have the power to deal with!

to 'fix' his or her own life.....

it is 'just' a choice.

Ending the cycle of Saturn and starting a new one.

 

The coming half year Saturn,

the planet of determination, responsibility, patience

will be retrograde.

We get opportunity's to re-visit, re-evaluate

our goals, structures, responsibility's and wisdom.

Saturn is the planet of Karma.

Karma meaning that you will see and experience

the consequences of your deeds,

so it has nothing to do with guilt and shame.....

Guilt and shame is an emotion that blocks you

and Saturn 'just' wants you to take responsibility

so you can grow and build something stable.

There is no short cut......

The cycle of Saturn is 28/29 years

and Aries is the beginning of a cycle.

From April 1996 till March 1999 this cycle started.

What did you start then?

Did something in your life happen so you

had to let go and do something new?

Where in your life did this happen?

Mental, work/society, physical, relational, 

or financial? 

Or was it a combination of this?

Now you are at an end of this cycle

and at the beginning of a new one.

The last months you got 'signs' of this new energy

only......most likely....

you need some time to end the last one,

deal with some lose ends....

From February 2026 Saturn will stay in Aries.

If you feel you are a victim:

choose to let go and remember your courage....

Just take one step at a time.

If you feel you 'deserve' the life you have in your mind:

look back and see if you did the work that was needed.

If not: do it now.

If you feel you did the work only you need to see the results NOW:

could it be that you need to be more patient

and/or choose to let go of control.....and trust more....

Or could it be that you are living a life that is not yours,

but a life you think society/parents expect from you.....

What if you choose to do what YOU want to do?

For me this last cycle started

with moving back to Holland,

changing a carrier,

loosing both of my parents in a short time

and my husband working abroad.

A big change...

What did you start and....

how did you get tested/evaluated?

Testing/evaluated meaning: 

did you do what 'your soul'

wanted you to do?

-Every 7 year you get a test/evaluation,

so after 7/14/21 and now after 28 years-

A challenging quote....and still .....so true...

If you really want something you will find a way...

you WILL do what is needed.

The biggest challenge -as I see it-

our emotional past....

Can we deal with it.

Do we have the right people around us.

Do we attract the right people

or.....

Are we so wounded and want to be in control,

that we forgot our own potential,

our own power.....

Pure love is our power....

Look at little children,

how open an honest they are.....

Can we see them as mirrors and follow them

or......

do we think we now better.......

Can we protect and guide them,

can we be patient and take the time

so they can BE who they Are.

They learn by doing and 'falling' is part of it.

It is part of life.

Determination to learn to walk, to speak, to sing,

to communicate.

Being patient and  be frustrated and...

still go on

because they Know and Feel that they are

protected, respected and loved,

that is 'the job' of parents/society.

So....what are we doing in society

and as parents....

With war, hoovering parenting,

and reacting and judging on social media.

Do we realise that we are in a changing world,

a new world

a world of respect for each other.

Being authentic AND part of a community.

Are we ready for the next cycle of Saturn?

Can we make a new start?

I hope so and......

I trust I will do what is needed,

when the life I am waiting for is coming.

So I can live the life

together will all the people I love.