Choose your hard......

 Chiron, the wounded healer is connected this month with the Moons node.

Both in Aries. 

Fierce, frustration, anger,

or using that energy to change,

to speak up if needed

and or take action when needed.

That sounds so easy only.....the wounded healer is involved:

can we go past our wound, is it already healed a bit

or is it still to raw.....

Everyone  has this in his/her chart,

only not on the same spot......

So....were is this energy 

touching your wound?

Mentally, physically, financial, 

society/work or in your relationships....

And...

how is the relationship with yourself?

Chiron was at this same spot in 1974.....a long time ago.....

The Moons node are at the same spot as in the spring of 2007....

and beginning of 1987...

Did something happen for you personally in these years?

How did you react and......

looking back: would you have reacted different

now you know what you didn't know then?

When I look back I can see a pattern.

I learned to speak up for 'the underdog', 'for children',

and when I speak to people who knew me then,

they saw someone who knew what she wanted.

And part of it was true.

I knew what I wanted only 

it was not from a healed place.

I did it because I wanted others to have it easier,

more relaxed, to have more fun, 

to Live more........

It took me a long time before I realised

that it was also good to speak up for ME,

for what I like and choose.....

Heal yourself first

so you can be healing for others.

I started this blog last week

and today when I read it again

to finish it,

I realised how deep this wound can be.....

We 'need' a new bathroom.

So we made an appointment to make this happen.

This sounds easy and something you have to do

if you have a house for years 

with an older bathroom.

We looked at the options

and 'Peter' told us, it could be ordered

and also finished in a few months.

'Great' I said and we start looking

at all the things you need in a bathroom.

When we left, I was glad:

finally it is happening!

This was already 'a red flag'.....

In the afternoon I became sad,

I didn't know why and I talked

about it with Jaap.

'Strange that I feel like this,

I should/we should be happy?!?'

I went for a walk 

and all of a sudden I realised

that deep down I was soooo happy

that finally the bathroom would be renovated,

that I forgot to look what really makes me happy....

Did I like what we choose 

or.....did I 'accept' it 

and would I accept anything

because 'I would be done...finally'......'

I realised that an old wound was touched:

'It is not to bad,

others have less and...

I still can take a shower,

even if I need a 'pipe wrench'

to control the heat...'

Not speaking up, 

because 'I am not worth it'.....

a deep wound....

deeper than I realised.

Our bathroom 

needed a renovation 5 years ago.

We started with the kitchen and.... 

would do the bathroom 'the next year'.

Only 

'live happens and you make other plans'....

I realised that deep down I resented that 

more than I thought I did....

Jaap and I talked

and....

he didn't realise how it was for me...

He couldn't: I didn't even know it....

He was not so happy with all of it as well,

so......

we choose to cancel and make a change, 

next week we have a new appointment.

I am sure I would have been ok 

when we would have done it

the way we 'choose' it......

However....

I am also sure it would not have made me 

happy in the long run....

So what do you choose?

Do you make choices form a wounded place

or a healed place?

Do you accept/see/feel your wound

or.....do you choose to hide the pain......

So what does this mean for the world.

We are in this energy together....

Many country's had or are having elections,

country's are at war.....

What do we choose?

Do we accept the wound, 

afraid to go through the pain,

and choosing from anger and hurt?

Or 

do we choose to transform

go through the pain of healing

and choose for a healed wound.....

I don't know......

I only know that if we deal with our own wound first,

we can not only make a change,

we can transform as society.....

Let's have compassion, understanding and patience with each other.

Let's speak up from inner power,

Knowing how challenging life can be sometimes.

Let's have compassion with ourselves

be patient and....

Choose to love, 

choose to have fun,

choose to be curious,

choose to see the other as a mirror of yourself.