May started with a quick energy forward and also
-starting may 4th when Pluto went retrograde, till Oct. 13-
a time for inner transformation.
Where do you have old energy's that you need to let go.
You get time to re-check, re-visit till October 13th.
It is the first time Pluto in Aquarius went retrograde,
so the theme is:
belonging to a group/society AND being your own unique self.
Can you give unconditionally or.....do you give because you feel
if you don't they 'don't love you' anymore....
I knew, Astrology wise, that I would be 'tested'.
Not to punish me or to judge me,
'only' to make sure I am on the right path,
the path my soul choose.
So, I looked at the signs
and.....thought I 'listened' to them....
Only people around me believed differently.....
Did I do to much?!? I like what I do!!
And then....even an 'old book' got my attention
Take time for yourself and enjoy life.
So I went at Easter to the sauna with our daughter Loes.
There she saw a mole: 'Mom, you didn't have this one the last time when we went'
I was not that worried but.....I let her take a picture,
that I send to the doctor.
As most of you know,
I had a Melanoma in 1986, the year Loes was born.
It was a challenging time.
When I spoke to the dermatologist later on he said:
'I was not sure if you would make it'....
Now Astrology wise, I have the same transit:
did I learn what I needed to learn or.....
did I need another wake up call and......
how 'loud' needed this to be......
The evening of the day I send the picture to the doctor,
I got already an answer back and.....
2 days later they took the mole out.
I got the same reaction as 39 years ago.....
they were very worried.
It was an 'ugly Duck'....a melanoma....
All old patterns came up and also:
'Then I had a very powerful will to live: my kids,
do I also have a powerful will to live ....for myself?!?
The same day they took the melanoma out,
the kids and grandkids came to visit.....
It was already planned
and....it was great!
We did all kind of fun things and had a great time.
They left after 10 days and then.....I started work again.
I realised I love life,
I have so many things I can give
AND
I also have so many things I enjoy.
I realised that I lived 39 years after the last Melanoma
and.......
I am not the person anymore who I was then.
I realised I was healing a part that was not healed from the past
and......
I trust that what ever would happen, I could deal with it.
Wasn't the 'ugly Duck' not a beautiful Swan inside;-)?
I made changes straight away,
after I came home from the removing of the melanoma.
I realist that sometimes I didn't take my life serious enough
and let people go over my boundaries.
I am grateful for those people: they helped me to show were I needed to make changes.
Some didn't like it and.....that was/is ok.......
I realise that that is not on me, they don't have to like me:
I have to make sure that I like myself!
And then.....I got the results:
It is a Melanoma only in a very early stage....
I need another operation to take some more skin,
only.....that is it.......
something to celebrate :-)
This full Moon of May 12 is about letting go or holding on to......
Can you let go of control and trust?
Can you choose to stay calm in the storm
and Know.......
that the Cosmos 'only' wants to help you......
I most likely needed this sign,
it gave me motivation to change a bit more.
I still like to be there for others
AND....
I make sure I am there for myself first.....
