'Decontaminating'....

 

Behind our houses

there was an industrial plot.

It has changed in a plot for houses.

In Holland there are not enough houses,

so it is great that they build more.

A house is meant to be a safe and secure place

and everyone deserve this.

Like we all deserve to feel safe and secure in our body.

When I walked passed the plot, I realised

that making a site safe and secure for a house,

is like 'building' a safe and secure human being......

This building site was used to dumb all kinds of materials,

even toxic ones....

So before the building of houses can start,

they are testing, cleaning and sorting out the soil.

Some people in our neighbourhood who knew more

about the history of the plot and also saw some things

that didn't go right, informed all of us.

We 'followed' and became a 'concerned neighbourhood'.

Pluto in Aquarius: if you know something more,

be the leader for the group to help all.

-this is what a good leader should do-

Uranus in Gemini: communicate about it in

a way everyone understands. 

It can also be 'electric', explosive and 'new'. AI.

New information came, wrong information came

and plans changed. Lots of misunderstanding,

losing of trust and a municipality who made 'mistakes'.

AND....

the few people who started the group,

showed they were Aquarius leaders.

They informed us by WhatsApp, 

organised evenings together 

were we could share our concerns in small groups

and later to each other.

After this we were united and...strong.

The contractor/architect came to talk personal to all people involved

AND....

they got the same questions, the same concerns,

because we were 'a team'/ 'a group'.

New communications, new trust and a plan that looks great for all.

We don't have to do it all by ourselves.

KNow you have an unique quality and....

others have one you don't have: 

use your quality and accept others quality.

That is why it is so important to take time to heal,

so your hidden talents can shine again.

And by this we come back to the first picture....

To build houses on a plot with most likely toxics in it,

is not a good idea....

To build houses on soil that is full of bricks, rocks,

roots of trees is not a good idea.....

They are cleaning it, sorting it out, crushing it,

and it will be checked........

They go on till the soil is clean and they can 

build houses were people feel safe and secure.

House were they can start a happy and healthy life.

It takes patience, determination and a focus on 

what you really want.

Patience and determination.

These houses will be build and most likely

it will take a few years before they are all there......

How much patience do you have with your self?

How determined are you to be who you are:

love, light, powerful beyond measure.

Are you 'cleaning/sorting out/put away the toxins/the old roots/rocks'

and do know it takes time 

and that sometimes you have to check again

for some 'toxins' that were missed?

If I look at the media,

I see what Uranus in Gemini is doing......

touching our fear.

Do we see it as a mirror, 

look inside and choose love and connection

or do we forget we are adult now, not the wounded child....

I also see Pluto in Aquarius,

more and more people stand up

to bullying, not respecting each other....

sometimes forgetting to communicate,

forgetting that we are All One......

We need to listen to each other and 

use each others uniqueness, each others qualities.

Pluto went direct on the 16th.

Can we show our power in our own life?

Do we need 'war/cancer/dead/ to 'help' us grow?

Or can we go to a new society,

let go of the old, out dated ideas.

Do we still need the LHBTQ plus?

Or will we move into a time were we 

respect each other for each others uniqueness.

Are we ready to decontaminate our lives....

just like we do with building plots?

Are we ready to see each other as

'work in progress'?

Knowing we have to do it ourselves,

only.....we don't have to do it alone...

Recognise fear and choose love.

 

Choices.....

How do we make choices,

are we doing this from an energy of love or an energy of fear?

Today, Oct. 10 is a new Moon.

A new Moon means a new start.

With Venus retrograde in Scorpio,

Mercurius also in Scorpio only it its shadow

-Oct. 24 it will go retrograde-

we are 'asked' what we 'really want'

 

Only.....how do we Know....

How do we Know we a choose from

an energy of love or an energy of fear?!?

I talk often about intuition or emotions, only

do you feel the difference between them

AND

if you do, do you also realise that sometimes

you 'still can't' ....

that something/an old wound is touched 

you didn't know you had?

The coming weeks/months will help us to deal with it,

to deal with our deepest fear so we can let go

and....let love in.

It is an Scorpio energy....so it can be 'brutally honest'....

I have recurring dreams: 

I am in a situation were I am lost and

don't know my way back anymore.

These dreams come and go for the last years.

This night again. 

I was on a bike and a child was behind me.

I woke up and....all of a sudden I realised

it was me on the back of the bike.....

I went back into the dream

and it changed.......

I went into 'a school' with lot's of children,

peaceful, busy 

and when I left

I went into a car with lot's of children,

'my child' left and it felt ok.

Then I got an image that showed me to ask and trust,

not only for me, but for all the people 

who were in that car/truck as well.

We can choose to keep our emotions in

or see them as visitors......

just passing trough....

With Pluto in Aquarius and Uranus in Gemini

society, 'family' and communication, 'siblings'

are involved.

Saturn in Aries 'asks' us to start new,

new in a responsible way.

What needs to go away in your life, 

so you can start new?

What needs to go away 

so you can start from love?

I realise that for me it has to do with 

'wanting to protect my loved ones'

Between 1967-1969 and 1996-1998

Saturn was also in Aries.

For me these were times I had to deal with dead

and my way to survive was 'protecting/helping my loved ones'.

 

It was also the time of new beginnings

only deep down the fear was always there,

hidden to make sure I 'would survive',

an energy of 'control'....

It made me determined, compassionate and courageous.

It made me capable of dealing with all kind of tough situations,

it helped me to go on.

It made me understand little children,

and people who went trough tough situations.

It made sure that after the diagnose of cancer,

I took special care of my body because 'my kids need me!'

And then, last year,

Saturn into Pisces and

Pluto touching the same planet as in 1984,

I was 'asked' to look deeper........

 Then, just before my birthday, the end of 'last year':

a bad fall and a bruised knee, 'accepting' lice......

all signs......

Am I holding on to emotions that are 'outdated'?

Could it be that I focused to much on the people around me

and forgot about me?

To write this down sounds 'weird'......

'you should take care of others'.....or

am I doing it partly because I believe 'I have to',

am I doing it because if I don't 'I am not ok'.......

October 26 we will have a full Moon:

what needs to change, need to change:

value yourself,

let go of people/values that don't match your own.

Have fun, enjoy and set boundaries when needed.

Believe and KNow that all people are Love

AND

respect yourself enough 

that if you are not treated the way you should be treated,

to address it, to set boundaries, let go....

With Mercury going retrograde: expect misunderstanding,

so....ask, double check, to respect yourself and the other.

Let go of control.....trust....

The Cosmos is 'only' there to help you/us.

Help us to 'be Free'

to 'Be the change you want to see in this world'

It is challenging if you look at the media,

of what is going on in the world, 

sometimes you can feel so helpless.....

If you do, remember:

'We are all One'

so.....look inside and change fear into Love,

look around you and stand up for people who can't,

'change' emotions into intuition,

respect and trust

and.....

enjoy life, meet with friends,

choose beauty.

The beauty of patience and trust....

 

After weeks of no flowers,

I wasn't sure if it would bloom again:

'most likely end of the season'

and

'I just give it extra 'nutrition'....who knows....'

On my birthday little white buts appeared and now:

it is blooming again :-).

 

For me it showed me to trust,

to be patient and....let go of control.

More and more science is 'proving' 

what is needed so people grow up 

to emotional and physical healthy human beings.

Unconditional love is needed,

only......do we know what this is....?

More and more science show that boundaries are needed,

not to punish, only to protect.

Can we set boundaries if we didn't get unconditional love ourselves?

Are we afraid to set boundaries because it is touching

a part of ourselves that only knows conditional love?

With Pluto in Aquarius and Uranus in Gemini,

communication and community 'need' changing,

changing so we can be unique and 

'bloom in our unique way' AND be part of the community.

-did you see that there were not only white flower,

but also pink one in the picture?'

With Saturn and Neptune both in Aries

we need to find a way to trust AND to set boundaries,

boundaries so we can be who we are meant to be.

Boundaries so we are protected 

and can be our unique self.

Remembering we are Love.

This starts with children,

this starts with your wounded child....

In how many 'story prisons' are you still?

Do you realise it or......are you projecting.......

Are you living from an energy of fear,

or the energy of love....

Venus went retrograde today: 

what do you love,

how do you love.

It is in Scorpio: emotional, hiding,

you need to dig deep.....

You need to trust and feel safe to set boundaries.

Safe.....

because you Know people around you love you unconditionally.

Till the end of November we get the chance

to remember our self-worth

remembering that love and boundaries need each other.

I am sure teenagers are not so happy 

when they can not use social media anymore 

in the same way they did before, only:

now we know more and we need to change,

and forgive ourselves for not knowing what we know now.

Boundaries are needed only......

how are we adults using social media?

Do we have healthy boundaries ourselves?

I am sure that in the past parents/teachers/authority/government

did the best what they knew then,

only.....we know more now.......

Could it be that 'forgiving ourselves for not knowing'

is an important first step?

Do you love yourself enough and Know....

Know you are 'powerful beyond measure'?

Are you choosing to forgive and heal yourself?

Are you choosing to set boundaries for yourself and others?

Are you prepared to go deep,

even though it is scary, 

to find peace and love at the other side?

I wonder what we will see in the world:

Venus is also money.......

Are we obsessed with 'money' and forgetting

that is the same energy as power and love?

Do we need more 'war', more 'fighting'

or do we see the pain of the other and have compassion as well?

Starting with compassion with ourselves/

Compassion AND  still set boundaries....

standing up for what we believe

is worth fighting for.

Respect everyone and stand up 

for those who can not stand up for themselves.....

Respect ourselves and ask help if needed.

Asking help is powerful,

is a sign of self love.....

And remember:

sometimes you need patience and trust,

give 'nutrition' and ....be amazed.

I was and still am when I look at the flowers,

the beauty of patience and trust....

The time after the eclipse......

 

We start this month with an energy

that 'helps' us to ground....

To ground, 

so we feel safe and secure....

more then we did before...

Safe and secure on a deep level.

This is a process,

we need patience and determination.

Remember my last blog:

Life is like riding a bicycle,

you have to move on or you fall....

 

Are you ready for to the next level of grounding?

How do you take care of your body?

 -what do you feed it? What do you read, watch and 

   which people do you let in?-

Are you relaxing and enjoying?

Do you have enough money?

Do you live your life or do you live a life

what people expect from you?

How are you roots? Deep and secure or are some only superficial?

 -are you responding or reacting when emotions are involved-

If you react:

 Know that a wound is touched, 

 Remember it is to help you grow, 

 and you have the courage inside to go through it.

In my last blogs I wrote about the retrograde planets till the end of the year:

we will get chances to re-write our story.

Saturn/ Neptune and Pluto are retrograde

and this month Uranus will also go retrograde.

-for me with a lot of Uranus mirrors the last months,

it will be interesting to see were in my life I 'forgot'

to be authentic/myself-

Let's choose to go deep inside AND.....choose to enjoy....

Let go of judging and negative self talk, 

let's choose to forgive and follow our vision.

From Sept. 19 Chiron, the wounded healer,

will move back into Aries.

Aries 

the sign of adventure, new beginnings,

of action.

The sign of independent, also impatient.....

of courage, determination and pioneering.

It moved in Aries in 2018.

Can you see and feel how much you learned, 

how much your courage grew?

Do you also feel that old wounds are less painful,

fears are not so big and you are more courageous 

and more determined?

What happened with you since 2018...

Did you start new things, take new steps

even when you were scared?

Have you been hurt by actions of others?

Was there 'war' in your life?

Where in you life were you afraid to take action

and.....do you still need to do it....for YOU?

Chiron will go back in Aries till next year April.

Choose to take the opportunity to deal with this wound....

What are you not doing now,

what you really want to do....

In your career?

In your relationships? 

In your environment?

Are you open to change your mind

for something new?

Most of the time,

we see what we don't want,

mirrored in the world.

If you are upset by what is going on,

most likely it is touching YOUR wound.....

A wound you don't realise you have,

a wound you are not ready to deal with....yet.

You/I project.......

so we don't have to go through the pain again...

Chiron in Aries 'asks' you

to 'just' take the first step,

to be open just like a little child.

Start new even if you are scared.....

Let September be a peaceful month for you,

take the risk to trust,

take the risk to be uncertain.

Choose to be calm in the middle of the storm.

Whatever is happening:

KNOW you have all what you need 

inside of you to deal with it.

Be YOU and shine in your own unique way. Part 3

 

'Just' a reminder.....

I choose to 'Face everything and rise!'

I got a lot of 'signs'......

all 'Uranus' signs:

 'where in my life

am I not doing what I need to do.

where in my life am I not authentic enough?!?

I got even an old 'nerve pain' again,

only.....it was gone after an evening and night.

Wauw, working with energy works quickly!

-I did some exercises and tapping-

And then......I fell......real hard...

My left knee was not ok......

I felt stupid how it happened.....

Angry and blamed myself.....

Was it broken of badly bruised?!?

I still could bike, I couldn't really walk....

It was late,

so in the hospital there was no x ray possible

but 'most likely badly bruised'......

When laying down, I was still going on with

negative self talk and....

all of a sudden I 'heard' my self talking.....

That was the moment I started tapping,

I started looking back...

I started to forgive and......

that was not easy, it was tough.....

-I don't know how many of you are tapping,

but if you do, 

you most likely experienced the feeling

of not remembering the sentences or 

feeling you have a 'speech problem'

What happened:

 I fell from a bike that was standing still....

I felt so stupid: 'how could I do this?!?

I know how to bike!'

It was not my own bike,

it was a bike with coaster brakes

instead of a handbrake.

But still.......

I also realised that, 

while I got the bike,

my mind was busy with 'doing things for others'....

'Life is like riding a bike:

you have to move if you want to go forward'

Could it be that it is time for me to realise

that if I choose to move forward,

I have to remember that if I have to 'pedal'.

Standing still is the same as falling down.....

AND....

Could it be that there is still a wounded child

inside that believes it is 'her fault'?

'You shouldn't make mistakes'?

Could it be that now it is the time to forgive 

at a deeper level and remember that everyone

did as good as they knew best?

That there are no mistakes,

only learning moments?

That learning is a life time goal,

and as adults you also have 'learning moments'?

Could it be that now I know better,

I do better.....first for myself?

Could it be that I forgive my parents,

forgive all kind of people in my life,

only......that I 'forgot' to forgive myself?

After the Sun eclipse, we are having the Lunar eclipse,

de Sun in front of the Moon.....

Shine.......

Choose to deal with your emotions,

be patient,

be kind,

be determent.....

I feel I am making progress,

my knee is slowly getting less sore.

I also feel I have to take it easy.

Uranus:

being authentic, being unique,

being YOU.

My knee is not broken....

so I didn't need a very tough mirror ;-)

Dolly Parton passed away.

'My outside is fake, but my inner isn't and that is most important'

She showed all of us how integrity looks like.

She showed what the meaning of:

'Be the change you like to see in this world' is.

'Everyone loved Dolly'......

She spoke her mind through her songs and interviews,

without judging......

She was grateful.......looked for the positive,

worked hard and was determined.....

How determined are you....am I....

Do I choose to 'move the pedalers and go on,

or do I 'brake'....

Do I choose for the comfort zone

and forget that the only way

to live your life is to move on......

Do I realise that if I do,

I will 'fall'.......

Luckily we have a choice

to stay down after a fall

or stand up again.....

Now is the time to shine!

Live YOUR life,

Be 'a Dolly Parton': 

make sure you inside is real.

Be YOU and shine in your own unique way! Part 2

 

Playing hide and seek....

His red pepper hiding on his back.....

When I walked around and asked

'please make a little sound',

he didn't answer.

In his own time he came out,

happy that I couldn't find him.

When I asked: 'Why didn't you make a sound

when I asked?'

He said: 'Then you would have known 

were I was!'

I had a day with my grandson Tim.

He and our other grandchildren Zoe and Niek

were around the last month.

Zoe started her school with the Moon eclipse:

can she still be herself and part of the group 

or does she think she has to adjust.

A new start for her......just like for us all:

a new start.

Niek has to adjust, going to 'the gitta'

by himself. 

Is he allowed to miss her

or are people around him trying to avoid this feeling?

Can he adjust at waking up earlier

because it is needed for his sister?

What is it for their parents, how is it for the rest of the family.

All mirrors.

For me, these mirrors help me to let go and trust.

It also touched a 'wound' in myself:

as a teacher and as a therapist 

who is looking at family karma,

I look at it in 'not a mainstream way.....

Is their still an insecurity about this?

I realised I didn't always take myself serious enough

and instead of responding, I reacted....

Looking inside helped AND......

a wound is less deep :-)

-I can not say it is gone.....time will tell ;-)-

The day with Tim mirrored me the energy we are in now.

We wanted to go on the bike,

only....the 'good' bike wasn't there.

The only bike we could use was the one with a

'wobbly' wheel.

'We can go by the bike or with the tram.'

He choose the tram and.....I am not familiar with trams....

He had exactly the place in mind were he wanted to go,

so we went.

-Isn't that exactly what we need to do: know were

we want to go and trust that we will come there

and have the 'tools' inside that we need....-

He had to put his shoes on,

not slippers anymore but boots.

When he had them on he said:

'I have banana feet!'

He was sure....so I said:

'ok, then we chance the shoes'.

When he put the one on,

he felt and.....'o, no, it is ok'.

-Could it be that if we start something new

we feel uncomfortable.....

we believe it is 'not good'

only.....it is good....

we only have to get used to the new phase..-

We had a great day,

went to the children books museum.

It was fully booked only.....we could get in......

'we showed up'.

We went looking for 'poffertjes'

and that was a challenge,

we went into a lot of restaurants 

and finally we found one.

We didn't give up.

We talked and he explained:

'When dad is as big as mom, then he goes to school as well'

Looking as an emoji figurine: 'Why is he crying?' and 

'perhaps the cat hurt him' -there was also a figurine of a cat...-

'That is silly a cat with sunglasses and a hat!'

When he saw some puddles he looked at me.....

'Yes you can walk trough, only not very fast,

because you don't have boots'

And....once was not enough....

'Oma, you have to go to!'

And I followed him.

He talked about his birthday,

his school 'villa Bloom' and Dorian, his friend.

In the tram he talked with people,

wondered why they went out

and told them what he did.

Talked about that you go to work to earn money:

'So you can buy an ice cream when you are on the beach'

We asked people for the right tram,

had to take extra escalators and enjoyed the time together.

Go with the flow,

seeing challenges and trust.

When we finally had our last tram

and had to go out,

he wanted to push the button.

Only.....an adult did this before he could do it and

'I don't want to go out!'

I talked about it and said: 

'we have to, because the tram will go again.

It was not nice of that man to do this,

but he didn't know.'

He went out and looked at the people in the tram.

They smiled to this little boy

who had all kind of story's about his day

and......was shocked he couldn't push 'the button'..

- This is also life. Sometimes it is not going as you want it to go,

not because it is your fault, 

it is just that you are not alone in this world.

The man who pushed the button most likely didn't realise

his action was not nice for someone else.-

On the way back, he found flowers, 

a feather, walked in 'a tunnel',

asked why the coffee cup was not there anymore

-it was on a chair in the morning-

and we found a ribbon in a store for his dragon.

We had to take a toilet brake and played with

toys, went home, made a dragon,

cut and pasted a bedroom and......

were reading books and singing songs.

Could I be me?

Yes, I had a great day.

My mirror: I didn't had a plan,

and I didn't need one: 

I could deal with whatever challenge came on our path.

The dragon we made? 

It was not the dragon he wanted to have:

it didn't have wings.....something for next time.

Make sure you heal yourself,

forgive yourself for not knowing then what you know now,

so you can 'Shine, in your own unique way'.

You are worthy

you are unique,

you are just the way you should be

You are loved.

Whatever happens to you the coming time,

trust and enjoy,

be patient and be open to attract what you wish for.

'Please make a little sound'

Is that not what we like to ask?

Ask, so we get an extra clue to find what is important for us.

AND....

is it not as how Tim answered:

'Then you would have known were I was!'

We have to look inside for ourselves,

we get the clues in the outside world.

Clues from our loved ones, our environment 

and the media.

The 'only' thing we have to do,

is feel........our emotions show us

were we need to look.

Can we deal with emotions.....

Do we recognise our emotions......

Do we choose to feel them....again...

Do we Know, 

that we now are mature enough to deal with them.....

Letting go or changing them.

Do we Know we can choose to find

mature ways to protect ourselves....

Do we allow ourselves to be patient.....

are we determined enough to go for what we want....

Tim is......

Most children are.

Can we guide and protect them 

like we guide and protect our inner child?

Be YOU and choose to shine in your own unique way.

 

How does this work in daily life?

How relaxed and 'at peace' are you

when you are busy, when you are late or

when something unexpected is happening....

Especially parents with young children,

or parents with children in their teenage year

will experience this.

These are the times that 'the cosmos' is testing you:

are there some unhealed emotions in you yet

or......are the -partly- healed....

Also adults without children who travel in a plane

with hungry/hangry children and their parents

with unhealed parts in them ;-)

People who watch the news, and discussion programs.......

without realising how energy works

can project their fears/their wound to the outside world.

Instead of healing and choosing what they want,

the choose to 'stay down'.....

A lot of people were focussing on the eclipse.

On the outside appearances,

lines for shops to get the last glasses to watch it life.

How many looked and the meaning of the eclipse?

Do you?

Donald Trump moved planes because of a threat

and......

he didn't let reporters know 

who stayed in the plane were he was suppose to be....

Infantino wanted to change the World cup of soccer,

without communicating with the board....

It is revealed now....

Can you be YOU and be part of the community.

Were in your live did you sell yourself short,

or.....did you 'outshout' yourself to hide your insecurity?

Were in your life are you reacting from an old pattern,

a pattern that has to do with 'proving'

that you are ok, that you are worthy....

It is time to focus on what YOU choose

and......if you choose from love,

it is always good for the people around you.

Sometimes the challenge is that you don't know/don't realise,

that there are still part in you that choose from deep fear.

Most likely you dealt with it before and 

will recognize an old pattern so you can choose different.

The most important sentence:

'read that right to left'

CONFICENCE kills doubt

PEACE kills jealousy

GROWTH kills ego

DREAMS kills fear

WISDOM kills anger

AMBITION/DREAMS kills laziness

Let this be our mantra the coming year

and be grateful for the mirrors we get.

These are 'just reminder' to help us go on

on the path to live the life we choose to.