Healing.....the only way is to go in and plant a new seed.

 

We still have a frog in our garden,

we don't have a pond anymore.

More than 30 years ago we filled it up with sand.

Years ago I read about it:

'Frogs go back to their birthplace'

Every year, at the same spot

we see the frog.

I can hardly believe it is still the same frog,

perhaps offspring....?!?

How is it with us?

Isn't it the same?

Can we live our own life

or are we a prisoner of our past....

Do we go back to a place

that isn't the best for us,

only we keep holding on to it.....

Do we go back to what we know/knew,

do we pass it on to our children/grandchildren.

Do our children still live a life that is not all their own,

but karma from us and from our past......?

Are we living our own life

or.......only partly......

Partly because we can not let go.....

not always consciously, but subconsciously....

What is the energy you are in?

Do you feel energized or drained.....

What would happen if you could let go of control

and 'just' feel.......

'Just' be open to the idea that you are blocking your energy

by holding on to old energy....not even all from you......

most likely from your family as well.....

What if you could give this energy back to were it belongs

and fill the space were this old energy once was,

with love and peace........

What if we would stop to compare,

be grateful for all the little steps we take every day.

What if we choose to respect other peoples opinions,

AND speak up in a firm respectful way if these opinions

are spoken without respect.

Could it be that we start living from our power,

that we can touch other peoples power

and start a new 'movement'.....

With a lot of retrograde planets and Chiron moving into Taurus

it is a time to go inside,

Know that you ARE love,

born to live in abundance......

YOUR abundance...

Can you relax, take a deep breath or......

are you still to much in the 'doing energy'

What signs do you get from the outside world?

What kind of mirrors?

And: 

do you look in these mirrors and are you choosing 

to change something yourself or....

do you want the outside world to change.......

-The last time I looked in the mirror and I saw

my hair was a mess, it didn't change 

when I told the mirror to show me something else.

No....I had to get a comb myself and after combing my hair

the mirror showed me an image that made me happy....

I.....had to change.-

The spiritual meaning of a frog is: transformation,

cleaning, rebirth.

We are all in a time of transformation.

We all are getting mirrors

and.....

sometimes we go inside and change.

And....

 sometimes our inner child is still so hurt and wounded

that it 'protect' itself to feel safe 

and acting out in an emotional way seems the best way.

If you realise you do this:

be nice towards yourself,

be kind to your inner child.

Do something nice for yourself,

take the time, be patient

and be grateful for every little step forward.

Realise that this wounded inner child

is doing this 'just' to protect you,

to keep you safe.....

it still doesn't know you,

the adult you,

is there to help you...

to keep you safe in a healthier way.

How is it for me?

I get mirrors and I realise that when I do what I love,

I get a lot of energy.

I also realise that I feel my shoulders,

that my energy goes away if I 'don't do anything'....

Those are the times when I am with 'me'.....

So......what do I need......

Can I 'just Be'?

What part in me still believes that

'Just Be me' is not enough.......

What seed do you plant?

Choose to slow down and remember what YOU desire...

The end of the month starts with Mercury retrograde

-June 29 till July 27-

Mercury in Cancer: expressing yourself in an emotional

and empathic way, intuitive and sensitive or

-if not balanced yet-

in a emotional and critical way...

Cancer is the sign of family:

how do you talk to each other,

are you 'afraid' to address topics?

Are you judging and critical and......

how do you talk and communicate towards yourself?

Jupiter, the planet of healing goes into Leo:

it is about YOU.....

If you feel you have to proof something

and be fierce, you most likely are looking at an old wound...

Leo is like the Sun: it 'just' shines......

Most likely you will see energy of 'unhealed' leaders,

perhaps you recognize something in yourself....

I hope they/we/I .....will use the mercury retrograde period

to look inside and heal.

So, instead of reacting in a bossy, unhealed use of power.....

we respond in a calm, honest and determent way.

And then.....July 3th,

Uranus and Mars are connecting......

We already saw this energy in nature:

 a huge earthquake......

Can we use Uranus in a mature way in our own live?

Start new, communicate in a respectful way,

and stand up for what we believe in?

Or do we need something disruptive

to change?

Where in your life do you need to make changes?

Where in your life do you feel you are not doing

what is best for you?

Where in your live are you doing what you believe

'they' expect you to do and did you forget about you?

Did you look at your life cycle plan lately?

How do you feel when you close your eyes

and you are already there?

Pluto in Aquarius....the last fixed sign....

 

Fixed signs and trauma.

Fixed signs like to hold on to what was.....

even if it is not good for them....

Fixed signs are Taurus, Leo and Aquarius.

Taurus likes to hold on to money, safety, material things,

Leo on 'leadership', standing in the spotlights,

Scorpio on deepest emotions, passion

and Aquarius on 'our people', being rebellious.

-I just mention some of the talents/challenges of these signs ;-)-

Now Pluto is in the last fixed sign, Aquarius.

Pluto's energy is of transformation, of total change

AND.....in a fixed sign,

 the resistance of change

is about unhealed trauma.

As I wrote before, Pluto is retrograde

and is 'asking' us to dig deep inside ourselves....

Most likely your conscious mind 'want to',

only.... 

the subconscious 'speaks' louder.

Our inner part doesn't want to feel the pain.....

it doesn't 'know' we are not that child anymore

it only remembers that not going there 

will keep you feel safe from this 'pain'....

You found a way to deal with it...to protect yourself,

to feel part of the group......

and 'forgot' that it is about YOU,

YOU, with your unique talent and gift.....

So we hear people talking about:

'Our land'

'Our people'

'Our group'

'Our family'

We like to belong to a group, 

to belong to 'a tripe'.....

If we have something in common,

 we will be recognized,

loved, accepted and respected.

We don't have to deal with our wound:

we already are part of likeminded people.....

so: 'Why go through this pain of healing?!?'

Could it be because part of you

can not believe that you can

AND be part of the group

AND be unique, talented, special,

authentic?

What is the energy of Pluto in Aquarius 

asking of us?

It helps us to open the door to this wounded child......

It helps us by giving us opportunity's......

It helps us....it doesn't punish us.....

What if we all could decide that even though we believe 

that what we think is the best thing, it could also be different.... 

Perhaps we are blindsided.......

Just this......

Just to be open 

instead of defending your believes.

Just respecting and communicating,

so you hear what others say.......

Perhaps it will give you insight you didn't have before....

Live everyday the fullest,

Find at least 3 things that makes you grateful,

remember 'we are all One':

if you don't like what you see in the mirror of live,

choose to change YOU.

The last time Pluto was in a fixed sign

was from 1984 till 1995.

It was in Scorpio,

a deep emotional sign,

passion, sexuality.

We wanted to hold on to what

we 'thought' what was right,

only ....was it?

Choose to look back and see how far you came,

be grateful for all you did and remember:

You are on an ongoing path.....

a spiral one....

letting go a bit more every time,

Every time a little bit more,

so it is not to scary for that unhealed part in us.

A bit more, so more light and love can come is

and we will remember again how

special and unique we all are....

The poppy: symbol of transformation, hope....

 

Today it would have been my dad's 100 birthday.

These flowers are 'his flower'.......

on his birthday they were always blooming.

Poppy's, 

the symbol of peace, hope,

'there is light at the end of the tunnel'.

It is a very strong flower, it doesn't need a lot

and it blooms only a few days.

It comes back every year and gives comfort.

For me it shows that life goes on,

we learn, we grow, we shine, 

we let go and will shine again.

One of his granddaughters give birth to a son.....new life.

Others go through a period of letting go.....

others of taking a next step.

AND....

we all learn, move on, step by step.

Not all of his offspring,

see and talk to each other anymore.

We had to learn to detach, respect

and.....start to love ourselves first.

I realise that attachment is looking for something outside.

Most of the time because we are 'afraid' of our own power.

Afraid to stand up for ourselves,

afraid not to be loved 

if we do something the other doesn't agree on.

We use 'stuff', 'outside appearances', emotions,

to show the outside world

who we are, that we 'are ok'.....

Mot realising we are not the outside world,

we are who we are....ourselves.....

Pluto in Aquarius want us to be unique 

in a group/family/society.

Using our unique quality to help others 

who don't have this unique quality,

also realising that they have an unique quality we need

 and don't have ourselves....

How come we still need labels,

how come we still can not see people as unique.....

Why are we 'afraid' of people who show their uniqueness/their talent.

Why are we 'afraid' of refugees,

 'Muslims', 'Jews', 'Gays'

Why do we need labels like: ADHD,

'in the spectrum', 'disabled'.........

When I asked my dad: 'Why history, it is from the past!'

He said: 'So we can learn from it and do it different'......

Did we learn, let go and bloom, like the poppy 

or do we repeat the old pattern....

Then 'Against Jews' and now 'Against refuges/Muslims'....

Still looking for a group to be against,

instead of looking inside at our fear,

deal with it and find our peace inside

so we see each other as souls.....

Individuals with unique quality

who like to share and.......

live from love and peace....

Do you label in your family?

Can you see each other as a unique person

or are there emotions,

is their judging involved.....?

Can you be open and honest,

respect and forgive or do you feel 

you have to be 'on your guard'.....

With Pluto retrograde is the time

to go inside and check.......

If you choose to do this,

you will help society......

'We are all One'.

Or.....you can go on blaming 'someone':

a group, government, a country, a leader.......

Let's choose to be a compassionate, loving,

patient leader towards ourselves first.

Discussions, Pluto and Peace....part 2

 

When you read this, it sounds 'easy'

only....Pluto is not always 'easy'......

It is as going into those caves in Mallorca.

You have to go deep inside of yourself,

to deal with what is hidden inside of you.

Hidden because you couldn't deal with it in the past,

most likely because you were a child,

or because you have some energy with you 

from past generations.

We went into three caves

 and all tree were different.

The first one was a huge one,

beautiful, not to deep. 

You could walk around it,

and use steps to go to the different parts.

There was no railing

and although that was ok for me,

it was not ok for Jaap.

Sometimes it is more easy then other times,

to dig deep and deal with your fears/old habits.

If it is easy for you,

you can be 'a railing' for someone else.....

'A railing' so others can go deep and heal

and find beauty.

Where in your life can you be 'a railing'

and ....where in your life can you ask for 'a railing'....

In that cave, there was a family with children.

Most likely they went there 

because the weather was not so nice that day.....

I walked behind them and there was an argument:

'We paid so much, so we are not leaving so soon,

keep on walking!'

Can you accept that you are where you are now

and deal with the consequences of your decisions earlier.

Can you choose to look around and find

beauty....something to be grateful for?

The second cave was totally different.

We had to go deep and there was a railing.

It was also slippery

and......

there were people at corners,

wanting us to go faster......

There was no time to really look at the beauty of the cave.

Isn't that what we do sometimes as well?

We want to go deep, fast, we want to heal, fast....

forgetting to take our time to 'enjoy' the path,

to look and deal what went on in the past....

 
This cave had also water inside 

and we went all the way to the bottom.

There we 'had to' take a seat.

It was beautiful and calm and......

we had to wait till everyone had a seat.....

That took a long time.........

How often did you go deep, dealt with old emotions

and.....were waiting for 'the miracle'.

A miracle that didn't come/didn't come in  what you expected.......

When everyone was sitting down and the lights went out,

beautiful music filled the cave.

Musician on a boat played classical music....

Our  reward of going deep, being patient.....

As someone said to me after:

'the most beautiful and moving experience I ever had'....

Pluto.......go deep, heal, transform.....

The third cave was a cave next to a Dinosaur park.

It had 3 parts, 3 little caves. 

The first one was educational,

they showed  how it was discovered

and also showed the evolution on the cave wall.

Very interesting and someone stumbled,

nothing bad, but still.

Pluto is also stress......it is a 'bursting volcano',

an eruption.....

How much stress is there still in your system.

If we want to change, to transform,

we have to change our thinking,

we have to choose to educate ourselves.

Realising that there are also other ways to live. 

It is not always easy to practise what we know/learn,

wisdom is knowledge plus selflove.....

The last weeks I had a lot of people who were stressed out:

they know what they should do to feel better

only.....

it is challenging to practise it in daily life.

Instead of accepting this, being patient and realising

that something old is still 'in charge' 

- parts that 'believes'

that this is what they need to feel safe and secure-

they blame themselves, judge and punish.......

Pluto will 'help' to let go,

only......trust and accept....

have compassion with your wounded self

that is still deep in the cave.

It will come out if you choose to be loving to that part.

After this,

we came into the middle cave.

It was green, lot's of plants,

there was a place were you could sit down,

have something to drink

and relax.......

Just as you need to do,

when you went deep,

when you had to deal with emotions.

Let the stress go and.......rest....relax....

Can you relax?

Is it ok to do 'nothing'?

Can you 'just enjoy'?

And when we went in the third cave,

it was 'light'......

different minerals, different colours

'light'.....peaceful

And....there was also water, 

there was also music

as if we could experience all of it again,

only in a less 'hectic' way......

Often, 

after we had a breakthrough in emotions',

we get 'tested'.....something similar is happening

only.....

now we can deal with it in a easier way......

Be grateful, be patient, 

have compassion with yourself, trust

and realise that the healing goes on....

If there is still stress somewhere in your life:

KNow there is  still pain somewhere inside of you.

Accept it and deal with it when it comes your way.

and till then....have compassion with yourself.

KNow you have the power and courage to deal with it,

KNow you don't have to do it all by yourself:

be 'a railing' or ask for one.

KNow that if you stumble or fall you can stand up again.

And while going on your path:

decide to enjoy,

to have fun,

be grateful

and be more and more at peace.

Discussions, Pluto and.....Peace.....

 I started this blog the end of April,

just before our holiday......

Discussions and argument....

With the last full moon,

it could be that you were challenged....

Did you had a discussion or an argument?

For me an argument shows insecurity

unhealed trauma, control.

Control to hide fear and lack of respect.

A discussion shows connection,

curiosity and trust....

Trust that there is respect and love.

How do you protect your peace?

My way -for a long time- was

'doing'......to make the other feel 'good'.

While doing this I was also running away of a 'argument'....

Afraid of people being angry or upset,

afraid of starting a discussion....

angry voices/loud voices touched something inside

I didn't want to deal with......

Israel and Palestine.....Jews in world war 2

Iran..... the 'people' and religion

America.....

And.....now after our holiday....

Pluto went retrograde and will stay there till October.

We will re-visit the period from Jan. till now.

What will happen with 'the wars' in the world,

this energy can help to transform......

if we can let go of control.....

to let Uranus in Gemini help: communication at a new level

and Neptune and Saturn in Aries to have a grounded vision.

Pluto wants you to dig deep:

Where in your life did you avoid confrontations,

Where in your life did you settle 

instead of go for what you want.

Where in your life you believe 

you have still to control instead of trust.

Where in your life did you believe

you have to do it all by yourself and can not ask for help.

Our first day of the holiday I got a 'new mirror',

one I never had before: I got pickpocketed.......

I 'lost' a lot AND....gained even more......

Of course I had to go to the police,

got the time to look inside and realised:

'my love/power/money' is not in balance ....yet...

We traveled around, saw a nice waterfall,

went into a cave,

meet up with family/friend,

went together in another cave.

Travelled in the mountains

-scary roads......same as you go for what you want:

it is scary AND.....you go on....you want to see the view-

We stayed in an old 'finca' and in modern hotels,

in old parts of the city and at new parts.

There was a lot of rain expected,

only....we went 'around' it, it seems.

Only the last day we had some rain and....

because of that a beautiful rainbow

So, what will you choose to have the coming time:

arguments of discussions?

Can you have a discussion with your self?

A respectful one.....

knowing that most likely a wounded child is involved?

I hear people blaming them self if they need medicine,

as if they failed....

I hear people blaming them self for being to tired,

as if only working hard is ok....

I hear people blaming energy because they don't get what they want,

as if energy is about good/not good......it 'just is'.....

Let's choose to be honest, 'brutal honest' with ourselves,

what is our passion.....

Do we live it and if not: why not?

Pluto is not only 'brutal honest' it is

also brave, has all the courage you need,

KNOWS that YOU are powerful beyond measure....

Go for it!

Do I believe that I am being blamed for being pickpocketed?

No, I do not.

Do I believe that I could use it to help me?

I do.  

-My dad said ones when money lose was involved: 'See it as an expensive lesson'-

Trusting is ok AND....needs boundaries.....

Loving is ok AND......needs boundaries....

Giving is ok AND......needs boundaries.....

It also showed me that I am much more at peace inside of me,

It also made me more determined to enjoy more

to have more fun.

To live even more in the Now.

At the end of our holiday,

I got a free meal......

it came at a moment when I didn't want to eat anymore.....

I was grateful and....felt I had to eat it because it was 'a present'....

Even if it is a great gift do I have to take it ?!?

Something to invest;-)

Abundance.....

I stopped to make a picture of abundance.

Slow moving Planets......

 

We had the slow moving planets changing from sign.

Slow moving AND planets that make a huge different....

First Pluto, then Neptune and this month,

the last one, Uranus on April 26th.

We also have no retrograde planets anymore till May 6th,

so we can move forward....

we can......or.....is our wound still speaking.....

I see in my clients -so also in me ;-)-

the link between Neptune and Pluto.....

Very important: 

as a child you can not deal

with the energy of these planets,

it is to big. 

So you deal with them in your own

immature way.

You deal with them to 'survive'.

If you are hurt, Neptune choose to help you to survive.

It does it by finding ways to be loved,

to make your parents happy and.....

as a teenagers you can start an addiction:

alcohol, drugs, getting in the 'wrong' crowd.....

And if you don't heal and deal with this, 

Pluto will 'help' you to transform

in a Pluto way: 

if you don't do it, I will''

'War, Cancer' in body's, relationships,

society, mind and finances

are the signs.....

At the age of 27/28 you are challenged with Saturn.

Can you take responsibility for YOU or....

do you still follow the rules and regulation/norms

from your upbringing.

Are you ready to open the cage....

Remember the cage -Saturn- is never locked.....

We can get out if we realise this.....

Saturn moved in Aries.

The coming two year we get the change

to work at our inner structure,

so we can deal with pressure

and act with intentions 

instead of choosing to react.

We can build discipline and patience.

What do YOU want, what do YOU choose.

If we choose to do this we can go to Uranus:

be free, authentic, unique AND be part of 'All'.

There is one big challenge.....

If we choose to go there

we have to deal with Chiron,

our inner wound.

And ....

we 'don't like' to go to our wound....

it is painful and we don't like pain.....

Only......

if we don't go through it we can not be free.....

Start 'small',

start with your own family.

How many of you didn't realise how sensitive you were....

How many of you are still trying to please,

believing you have to DO instead of Be 

to be loved.....

How many of you follow your intuition or....not

because you don't trust it.........Neptune.

How many of you had to deal with 

Cancer, immune system illnesses, dead.

How many of you had to deal with war,

fires, natural disasters......Pluto....

How many of you are still feeling you are in 'a cage'.

The cage of structure of government,

of family rules, relationship rules

and feel guilty and ashamed 

if you choose for youselves.

Rheumatism, brittle bones, chronic illness,

inherited illness.......Saturn.

If you can feel this,

then you are in the energy of Uranus.

You feel at peace,

you Know you have your own unique gift

AND....

you like to share it with the people around you

Uranus will move into Gemini on the 26th

till may 2033.

It comes from Taurus: the planet of money,

safety, nature...

Uranus the planet of sudden changes.......

Did we get changes for the best or...

a lot of changes from unhealed energy.....

In Gemini we can expect breakthroughs

in communication, education,

technology and social justice.

The more safe we feel inside,

the easier it is to 'open up our cage' and go....

feel free......

Were do you feel stress in your body,

were do you feel stress in relationships,

were do you feel stress in your work,

your mind, society......

Investigate,

be patient,

and celebrate life.

Enjoy, have fun,

rest, relax and be grateful.

Slow moving planets make a huge difference:

could that be a sign for us as well:

Slow moving will bring us far.....?