You are worth it.

 

Neptune went back into Pisces

and on the same day my mind went back 

to a situation years ago.

I realised that people around me

mirrored something that wasn't clear to me....yet...

We lived next to my grandparents,

and while that was very special,

it was also a challenge....especially for my parents.

Or.....was it so family patterns would be clear?

Was it a chance to heal.......

My grandparents had 14 children.

First we lived in a small house 

attached to their house,

some of the aunts and uncles

lived there as well.

Later on, my parents build a house next to them,

and my grandparents moved to the small house.

I have fond memory's of Sunday's when nieces and nephews

came to play with us when their parents visited 'oma and opa'.

When my grandfather died, I moved in with my grandmother

for a year and when I moved to a small apartment, 

I stayed close.

When moving abroad she told me

how tough it would be for my mom......

she knew....her oldest son moved to Canada.

I told her that it was different now,

I would come home every year....

Letting go of a child to find their own happiness,

not knowing, 

letting go of control and....

'just trust'.....

For parents it is not always easy to do,

and it is challenging for us as well.....

With every new face in your life you have to let go....

trust....

follow your intuition instead of staying in your emotions....

Let go of guild and shame/ how it 'should' be

go through your wound -Chiron- to find your talent,

to BE....

Be YOU, unique and yourself.....

Only......the comfort zone can look easier,

than take the next step.....

So....

while taking this step,

have compassion, understanding and patient

with yourself.

When my grandmother became older,

my mom cooked for her and did her laundry,

my parents went for coffee every morning 

-even if it was not very convenient-

My dad went there in the evening to play cards,

so she wouldn't be to lonely.

Her other children came to visit as well,

only.....often on a Sunday:

 they talked with each other

and....she couldn't follow.

She loved having them and didn't complain.

Now I know that is what a parent should do:

seeing that your children grew up as responsible adults

and live their own life.

My grandmother didn't want to go to a nursing home,

and for my parents it was to much to do it all by themselves,

so they thought about a solution.

What if all the children would help out: 

she could stay at home!

Only......

not all children wanted to do that.....

And......

this is when a lot of not such pleasant events happened.

Old family emotions came up:

jealousy, anger, misunderstandings, judging

and....control and 'power'.....

All of a sudden I realised

how tough it must have been,

to live in such a big family.

Not everyone got what he or she needed

and had to 'survive'...

This situation was a chance to 'settle the score'

-subconsciously.....-

'Now'.......they 'could make that right'.....

Emotions, fear.......

My parents became the 'punching ball'

and.....

we as children wanted to protect our parents.....

as if they couldn't do that themselves....

as if we were the parents and not 'only their children'.....

And.....

then it happened again....

with my own brothers and sisters.

In my work, I realised years ago,

that when certain theme's came up,

they were also important for me.

In the beginning when I worked with groups,

I was worried 

that the people in the group wouldn't match.

I quickly realised that there was always a common theme

with the people and......I let go and trust.

The last months the theme of my clients 

are family challenges,

and by this: 'self worth'.

And I wondered:

was there something for me to look at as well?

I realised that challenges arise

when people are in a roll that isn't theirs.

Often children take the roll of the parent,

and it is not their roll to take....

They take it 

to 'help',

to 'feel loved', 

to 'survive'......

By doing this 

they create a victim ship inside of them selves..,

They 'forget' unconditional, 

they create conditional.....

They 'forget' their self worth...

What did you create?

Do you judge 

when you don't get what you think you deserve?

Do you blame 

when you don't get what you expected?

Do you believe 

that you know better and are you upset when

someone does it differently?

Do you act for others 

because you believe they can not do it themselves,

or do it the wrong way

-by your standards-?

When I look back at the situation of my parents,

I see two people who did too much,

too much for others and

while some praised them for it, 

others envied them.

I see two people who did everything 

so we, their children could be themselves,

find their own path.

Most likely because they couldn't always.....

I also see two people who didn't realise

how powerful they were,

how special and how unique.....

What about us, their children?

Did we know how powerful we where?!?

No....we didn't....

We needed 'help'...

We needed 'a storm',

a realisation that we were also not in balance.

Power, unbalanced power.

Was it someone's fault?.....

No....or better: all of us,

in our own way.

Some of us wanted to be 'the boss'

and others didn't say anything.

Till 'awareness' happened and

the old pattern had to brake.

It was challenging and...was needed.

I believe that when we can start to heal within our own families,

we help healing the world,

help building on a world of peace.

When I look at Israel and Gaza,

I Know there is a lot more healing to do.

What is our roll?

How come the 'bully' can get away with something that is not right?

Could it be that it is the same pattern as we have in families,

in groups, clubs....

Could it be that most people are 'afraid' to say something?

Forgetting that if we all speak up,

their will be a change?

Could it be that we 'forgot' our self worth?

We are not a victim,

we can speak up,

we can vote.

We can also keep on blaming,

keep on judging

keep on projecting.

What is your choice?

Remember: 

'You are powerful beyond measure'.

Remember: 

We are all in it together,

we are each others mirrors,

respect yourself and respect the other.

Speak up and.....are open to listen.

You are worth it!You 

Have patience with yourself and go on......

 

Take the side YOU choose,

not the one that someone else wants you to believe:

check, think for your self, form you own opinion....

Is this still possible?

How influenced are we by media?

Do you believe everything you hear and see?

Are you open to change your opinion

because of your investigation or

do you hold on.....even if it is not right....

We re-visit the period from May to October:

did you learn what you needed to learn,

or do you need another chance......

Do we speak up or are we irritated by people who stand up,

not realising that our emotions show 

that they are just mirrors,

a call for us to stand up for what we believe in.

Speak up from feeling/intuition

instead of emotions......

I remember speaking to a lady, years ago,

who lived in East Berlin,

just before the falling of the Berlin Wall.

Her son asked her years later:

'Why didn't you speak up,

didn't you do anything?!?'

She: 'We didn't even realise we could.....'

When we spoke about it, she was still shocked

that she/all of them. didn't speak up earlier.......

We will finish another cycle next spring:

will we see the same thing in the future

as I saw with this lady from East Berlin?

Will we ask ourselves:

'How come we didn't see it,

how come we let this happen to us ?!?'

Let's be open to receive the seeds of Love and Peace

instead or fear and war......

Let's make sure that we feel more and more 

our self-worth,

so we can Be the change we want to see in the world

and give permission other people to do the same.

Speaking up, voting, respecting,

healing, forgiving and......repeating...

as often as needed.

Treat your mind like your stomach.....

 

A reminder: 

stop blaming yourself for not doing everything

what others/family/society think you should do.

Deal with your emotions so you can

hear your intuition and......KNOW

Know that 'mistakes' are just 

a way how we learn and grow....

Today it is a full Moon.

Sun in Libra, Moon in Aries: how is it with your emotions?

Are you fighting against or.....

did you give up fighting.....

Today Mercury started its Shadow period, 

it will go retrograde next month, Nov. 9.

Do you recognize your thinking.....

are there old patterns/habits that come up.....

Choose to be conscious about these....

On Oct 14 Pluto will go direct again:

what happened in your live from May till now.

Now it is time to show

that you looked inside and transformed 

so you can attract different mirrors.....

It is easy to get in the trap 

of feeling a victim.

Realise this is old.......

You have the choice to change this

AND....do something about it!

-even though you most likely have to wait

 for the results nest spring....-

Neptune will go back into Pisces on Oct 23,

and this can touch an old wound....

It can also bring a feeling of 'togetherness',

KNowing that we are 'all One'.

A wound inside of you and also

a wound in the world.....

It remind us that we are in a 'chaordisch' energy:

chaos, needed for a new order.

Good to remember that from Febr. next year,

Neptune and Saturn are coming together in a new sign:

from Pisces to Aries.

The last time this happened was in 1989,

the fall of the Berlin Wall....

Before that, there were lot's of protests,

people let go of being a victim,

and took action....

What do you do?

Are you attached to your childhood trauma

or....

did you heal: 

take away everything that your learned from it

and remembered your power.

'Be the change you want to see in this world'....

Are you following others,

or are you questioning what you see and read.

Do you realise -with Pluto in Aquarius-

that you are unique, one of a kind,

important for everyone around you.

Do you realise that we can have a world

were everyone is respectful and honest

if we are respectful and honest towards ourselves.

For me it is the time to see how I did the last months:

did I heal what I needed to heal

or do I need some more 'mirrors'.

I see a lot of people going through rough times at the moment,

physical, mental, relational and social.

It is tough AND 

I can feel that I am less emotional attached

and by that can BE there for them in a better way:

they take there own responsibility...or not....

and that is ok: 'mistakes' help you to grow and heal.

In Holland there will be elections this month.

What will people vote?

It seems there is still a big group 

that wants to vote 'against' something....

feel like a victim

and......

hope 'someone' will 'safe them'....

Like in America, Russia and Israel,

in Holland we have a same kind of unhealed leader....

What do WE choose?

Do we choose from fear or Love.... 

from 'them against us' or from 'we are all One'....

We will see and.....

perhaps we need some more chaos first

before we are ready for a new order......

Guild and Shame

 

I hope you have compassion with yourself

while healing your past.

I hope you can see the results of your healing:

being more at peace,

less judging,

enjoying what is.

I believe we never get more than we can deal with

and if you feel you do,

-most of the time-

 it is because you forgot how powerful you are.

If no one reminded you: I will do this today:

You ARE powerful beyond measure.

.

The last months of the year started.....

Time to look back.

How was this year,

do you feel you want or need something to do?

Is it in relationships, your work, your body or

is it your mind?

Autumn is the season of letting go,

of endings and also of harvesting.

Nothing is waisted:

the leaves that fall are composting the soil for next year

and the fruits and grains are making sure 

we nurture ourselves.

Nothing is waisted.......

It is as with emotions, our 'wounds'.

Those wounds

- when looked at and dealt with-

become our compassion,

our understanding, patience

and our intuition.

We let go of judging.

We understand that people need time

-just as we did..-

and even though these wounds keep a scar

-a scar that can still hurt sometime-

it transforms into a 'talent'

When you look at little kids 

you see this......

Sometimes they don't feel understood

and they 'act out'.....

If you respond to the anger with understanding,

often they start crying.....

cleaning out the pain of not being understood....

I also see adults reacting......

most likely because their anger -old anger- is touched....

Shame is born....

Guild means: 

I did something wrong and I can/have to change it.

Shame: I am wrong......

This is not right.....

You were not wrong, 

you take/took responsibility for something 

that is/was not yours to take.

Most likely from an adult who couldn't deal with their own pain.

Shame is a feeling that only belongs to a

scammer, manipulator and perpetrator....

If I look at the media,

at politician and world leaders

I hear a lot of wounded parts.

I see mirrors.

If I look around me,

I also see mirrors.

Looking at these mirrors and taking action

works.....

I see that it works in my own life.

The 'world' is showing me and....

gave me different mirrors :-)

The second half of September gave

me so much joy and love.

It showed me that my energy has changed

in a way that I couldn't have imagined.

I also Know that I will get more mirrors

if I need to heal more or deeper and....

that is ok:

Like nature, 

life is meant to move on,

grow......

if not, 

it will die.....transform 

and also move on.....

Not only woman ;-)....

all human beings.

We 

'Can Be the change we like to see in the world',

just 

'Imagine'....