Let it be.....

When I wrote the last blog
I couldn't imagine,
that 2 days later, on June 26,
I would have the next challenge
of letting go of control,
of accepting,
Knowing that what was confronting me
would be the best for me and everyone around me....
even though it didn't feel like it....

Let it be…..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ3tlLq_Z14

The last days I feel I am in a cocoon.
It feels safe and good.
I am packing the rest of the stuff,
cleaning the house, be ready to move.
In between I am in contact by skype, whatsapp
with people who are very close.

Tomorrow morning we are flying back to Holland.
We are starting a new fase in our life
and letting go is part of that.

And then -like Uranus likes to do-
something unexpected happens….
My brother went missing.…..

Straight away we knew
that something was not right...
We get a half day
to feel old fears, to let go,
so we can face what will be next....

We will fly to Amsterdam and then we don't go home,
but fly to Mallorca....
Out of this cocoon, back into the world,
more to let go.....

Yesterday I heard a bit what he wrote
in the letter he left for his children and his wife
and I had a good night of sleep.
I woke up with tears and a realisation….
Self worth…

My brother made a lot of people happy.
When he was born,
he made the family happy:
we all lost a brother a year ago
and he was fun, nice, happy:
just what we all needed…

He made his goal in life to make other people happy,
When he was around
people expected him to be funny
so they could laugh…

Like me, he went away, living abroad.
There he made more people happy.
He met his wife in Mallorca
and they have 3 wonderful children.
He started a foundation called 'Gime 5':
he wanted people to give to the community,
to work together for a better world….

When I heard the great things he wrote to his children and his wife,
and also asks for forgiveness and that he was sorry,
I realised he didn't know that only a great father
and a great husband could write a letter like this…
but he didn't know…..
he didn't know his own greatness,
he didn't know that being vulnerable
is part of greatness as well.

Do we know?
Do we have patience with our selves?
Do we Know we are good Just the way we are?
Do we need the approval of the people around his
to feel we are good or do we Know we are good…..
Can we be vulnerable and Know we are still being loved,
or do we have to wear a mask all day…
Can we enjoy the path and realise we will get there
when we get there, everyone has his own pace,
there is no competition.
If you have to wear a mask all day,
you will be tired….
it is to heavy....
Let it go...….Let it be....

His wife has a great voice and he made sure,
that she started doing what she loved the most:
he was so proud.
His children wanted to be unique, themselves and
are teenagers and pre/teenagers now.
They mirrored his way of thinking:
'Be yourself, be unique.'
This was also challenging:
the world likes it more when children act the way
'all' the children act....it is 'easier to handle'

'Can you be unique AND be part of society...…'

Not easy....
he saw that in his family
and in society.....
and he didn't realise
he only had to be himself….
he was more then enough…..
And he showed in his life he had the courage
to go against mainstream,
he never had a dull life:
he didn't realise how special that was..

If you are 'full' you can give easily,
you give
and if you are praised or not,
you feel good.
He didn't have so much patience with himself:
he wanted to give NOW.
He had patience with the people around him,
not with himself.

I Know it is good as it is,
and I also know
I should have patience with my self and
take the time to be sad,
even though I know he is happy now..

I want him to know how special he still is,
how important he is for his wife and children
and lots of people around him.
He woke us up....
Perhaps this was the only way.....

Your ashes will be scatterd on the beach where you were married.
That beach will be special.

Your energy will be there,
it tells us:
share your life together
with the people you love,
have fun,
don't be to serious,
deal with old emotion and also:
don't take that that to serious,
take it step by step, be patient with yourself.

Forgive, life is short,
laugh and share.

Be the Sun in your own life,
and shine so bright,
and keep shining,
so you help others to shine.
Always be YOU.

Your life was important,
will always be important.

And in the meantime,
we morn, are sad,
share memories,
and are happy you were in our life
and still will be in our life.
We only have to accept we can
not hear your laugh,
get a bear hug
and hear 'dag lief zusje'

My last words to him were 'Ik hou van jou'...
It was the first and last time I said that to him….
I am happy I did…
Lets say it more often....
but first:
LOVE YOURSELF....

Do something great for YOU today,
to celebrate his and so many other peoples

life.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQ3tlLq_Z14

Kayan woman en Uranus in Stier

Toen ik dit schilderij zag, raakte het me meteen.

Ik ben dan ook blij dat het nu hier thuis staat.

De Kayan stam is op zichzelf, ze laten geen toeristen toe: gelukkig....

zo kunnen ze hun eigen leven leiden.

Er zijn wel plekken waar ze komen om te laten zien wat ze maken

en waar ze spullen verkopen: een goed alternatief.

Ze zijn vooral bekend om de ringen om hun nek.

Er gaan allerlei verhalen over waarom ze dit doen,

over schoonheid en over het 'moeten' van de mannen.

Wat het precies is weet ik niet en waarschijnlijk is het niet voor iedere vrouw hetzelfde.

Er zijn ook vrouwen die besluiten om de ringen af te doen en....

na ongeveer 3 lastige dagen blijken ze weer 'ontwent' te zijn van hun ringen.

Je zou kunnen denken: wat heeft dit met Uranus in Stier te maken?!?

Lichamelijk heeft de nek met stier te maken.

Een stier kan veiligheid geven, kan genieten van mooie dingen, van de natuur,

heeft vaak een goede stem.

Een stier kan door onveilige situaties in zijn leven star worden, vasthouden aan 

'schijn' veiligheid en niet willen veranderen. -een stijve nek krijgen-

Veel materiele dingen willen en bang zijn dat er niet genoeg geld is,

heeft hier ook mee te maken.

Iedereen heeft ergens Stier in zijn horoscoop, 

dus iedereen krijgt ook te maken met Uranus,

met veranderingen om van schijnveiligheid naar veiligheid te komen

Uranus wil je bevrijden van die emoties/situaties waar je star bent,

waar je vast wil houden aan iets wat niet goed meer voor je is.

Uranus is ook een planeet die onverwacht komt, 

op een andere manier dan je verwacht....

Wij gaan weer verhuizen en zoals altijd pak ik het meeste zelf in.

De verhuizer kwam om te kijken en.....alles was goed en herpakken was niet nodig.

Verder zorg ik dat de meeste dingen 'op' zijn,

zodat er niets is om 'weg te gooien'.

Ze zouden om 9.00 uur komen.

Ik liep daarvoor een rondje door de compound:

genieten van de natuur,

tijd voor meditatie,

en rust in mezelf.

Ja, zo voelde ik me toen ik het huis binnen kwam....

Daar waren de pakkers alles aan het herpakken 

en Jaap zat op de bank op de computer.....

Iets raakte me en......ik werd heeeeel boos.

Ik ging in discussie en....

dat hielp natuurlijk niet.

Na weer even naar buiten te zijn gegaan,

ben ik terug gegaan,

heb mijn spullen gepakt en ben naar het zwembad gegaan:

wat was het koele water lekker ;-)

Toch was ik in mijn hoofd nog niet koel.

Mijn baan rugcrawl werd onderbroken doordat ik tegen iemand opbotste,

die ook op zijn rug zwom.

Dit....zorgde dat mijn denken stopte:

welk oud patroon/emotie werd hier geraakt...

-die inpakkers doen natuurlijk ook gewoon hun werk...-

Als eerste kwam Jaap naar boven: ik was boos om bepaalde dingen die hij nog niet had gedaan....

Toch merkte ik dat dat ook excuses waren om

niet naar binnen te kijken en.....

dat wilde ik toch wel.....

Ineens zag ik het patroon: controle houden....

Ik heb nog steeds dingen in mijn hoofd, zoals ik denk dat iets moet

en......vergeet daardoor te genieten van wat er is op dat moment.

Ik had heerlijk gelopen, was heerlijk aan het zwemmen en

toch was mijn hoofd ergens waar het niet hoefde te zijn.

Ik mag genieten, ik hoef niet voor iedereen te zorgen  en....

als het anders gaat dan ik denk dan is dat ook goed.

Nu denk ik dat de meeste mensen die me kennen zullen zeggen:

'maar je bent al zo flexibel in die dingen!' en.....dat klopt,

alleen nog niet overal.....

Ik merk dat al heel veel mensen deze maand te maken hebben gekregen met 

deze nieuwe energie van Uranus in Stier:

Loslaten, vertrouwen hebben, Let it be….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xDzVZcqtYI

Paul Mccartney kreeg dit als boodschap in een droom

van zijn overleden moeder.....

Allerlei dingen gaan anders en ik merk dat ik er rustiger onder blijf,

meer in het Nu ben en ik hier weer een stukje controle achter kan laten.

Net als de vrouwen die de ringen afdoen,

zal ik even moeten wennen aan dit nieuw patroon

en toch....het voelt al heerlijk.

Ben ik nu controle vrij?....vast niet,

maar daar waar nog controle zit bij mij 

krijg ik vast de komende tijd wel gespiegeld,

zodat ik dat ook nog los kan laten. ;-)

De vrouwen in Saudi mogen autorijden en er zijn weer 5 missiles afgeschoten op Riyadh:

het waren harde klappen.

 'Hoe zou het vandaag in Jemen zijn'? reageerde een dochter....

Ja....daar horen we waarschijnlijk niets van.....

Veranderingen, eigenwaarde, veiligheid,

je stem laten horen.....

Je kunt kiezen om dat vanuit rust of boosheid te doen,

ik wens dat je oude boosheid los kunt laten

en kunt genieten van wat er nu is,

en overvloed kunt toelaten.

Deze spiegel kregen we vorige week: vissen, veertje, schildpad....

nog niet helemaal scherp ;-) maar een mooi beeld....

Standing Buddha and responsibility/leadership.

In Batan, Myanmar, you find hundreds of tempels, old and new.
In all these tempels you find Buddha's, most of the time sitting,
a few have reclining and some standing Buddha's.
In a temple, most of the time
there are 4 Buddha's looking at the 4 directions.
The biggest one is facing to the East:
they believe that the saviour will come from the East.

The Ananda temple, has 4 standing Buddha's.
They are huge.
We went there with our bikes at the end of the day and all of a sudden
a sand storm started....
We felt there was more to tell about that temple
and decided to ask about it the next day.
- a guide is very helpful :-) -

She told us that Kings and Queens were standing close to the statue
and 'the rest of the people' further away,
labourers all the way back.
When we stood close she asked us to look up

When we looked up, we saw a stern look, not a smiling one.
It was a message for the Kings and Queens:
'make sure you do your job right......
remember you have responsibility and have to show leadership!'

When we walked back and looked again, we saw this

It looked like another statue, an other Buddha.....
from a far, this Buddha looked friendly,
was even smiling.......

Amazing that the artist could make this, in the 11th century.

What does this tell us?

For me it tells us about responsibility:

if you know better, you do better,
you have to take responsibility
and take leadership.

If you don't know yet,
the 'higher power' will be mild to you, forgiving:

you are still learning,
you are at the beginning of your road.
It will encourage you to step into your power,
one step at the time.

If you are in a new relationship,
there will be challenges and....

'the Buddha' wil be mild....you just started,

you will be challenged,
you will make 'mistakes' and you learn from them.
You grow together and
will find out
if the relation is worth going to the next step,
or you let go of the relationship......

it is a path......

If you are in a commited relationship,
then there is more responsibility.
You are asked to have patience with yourself and the other,
and, by doing this, you will gain wisdom.

If you decided to have children and want to stop the relationship,
then you are very close to the Buddha,

he is looking stern:
'are you taking your responsibility and leadership......?'
Then it is not only for your self,
also for others....

When you just started your first job,

there are learning moments, not mistakes.

Your manager/boss will be mild to you.

If you have more responsibility and make a mistake

-did something you should know already-

then your manager/boss will not be so mild....
And if you are the manager/boss, then you
are very close to the Buddha:
You are not only responsible for your life,
but also responsible for others...
it needs leadership.

I saw a documentary about second generation Moroccons.
There parents went to Holland
to look for a better life for them and their children.
Now some of them go back,
because for them Morroco can give them a better life.

Question:
'Is it because the energy is not so friendly anymore in Holland?
Answer:
'No, it is not. I used that as an excuse but I realise now,
that I didn't develop myself,
I didn't prepare for job interviews,
I didn't take responsibility.
Now I help others to find a good life here in Morocca
and it is going great, because I took the step.
I went to Moroccao with only 100 euro's
but my attitude was different and that is why it worked.
No excuses anymore.
I earn less money then in Holland,
but every thing is cheaper here,
it is easier to get a house loan,
so the quality of life is so much better.'

-He lived in a beautiful, big house, was happy in his relationship
and with his children. He had helped people who where very happy
with there live and some started there own business.
He worked hard, and had time to relax.
I am sure he has some challenges as well, however,
he has a new attitude: 'no excuses anymore'.-

Where do you need to step up
and take responsibility/leadership?
Where should you have a bit more compassion with yourself,
let go of comparison and be mild,
realise you are on a path.....

I looked in myself, to look how it was for me,
and....... I was a bit strict on myself....
there was an old pattern,
starting when I was very young,
it had to do with self worth.
By realizing this,
I could be mild to myself
I was only a child......
and.....could let go :-)

Let's enjoy the path and help each other where we can
because we have enough energy to give.
Also be open to accept other peoples help,
if you need it.
Realise you can be a leader on one pillar,
and a student on an other.....

-the 5 pillars: Mind, body, relations, society, finances-

Enjoy your path
and....
be nice to yourself,
give yourself time...