Tuesday 17 September 2019

Be the giraffe....

The giraffe is the animal that dears you to 'stick your neck out'....

How is it for you?
Do you 'stick your neck out?'
or do you prefer to blend in....

…..or stay behind your own glass wall…..

This month Saturn the planet of Karma and responsibility,
of quilt and shame and patience 
will go direct again:
what did we learn about this the last 9 months,
what did we let go 
and how are we going forward.

Did you have patience with yourself,
did you take time to go In
or are you still in an emotion of guilt and shame….
If you feel these emotions,
realise it is old…..
time to let go
and live for YOU!
Probably you are somewhere in the middle...

For me, the renovation helped me
to be patient,
to work hard,
to enjoy the proces,
and realise that it is finished, when it is finished ;-)

This giraffe is standing in our hall way.
We bought it years ago
and brought it from Ghana to Holland.
It is a special giraffe....
A long time
it was standing upstairs in the hallway.

A few year ago, when I was already in my bed,
there was a lot of noise
and something fell...
I heard it and....
didn't react....
Next morning the giraffe had a scarf...
and I let it be.....

Now the giraffe is standing
in our hallway downstairs and
still has the same scarf.
It makes sure the neck stays on it body ;-)
I love it!!

It is to remember
that whatever happens,
if you 'stick your neck out',
if you do something different
than most people do,
you keep going even though
you can get hurt or get hurt.

Think about the time you
learned to walk,
or ride a bike:
how many time did you fall down,
you stood up again
because you Knew
where you wanted to be.

As a child you kept going
and then somewhere in your teenage years
you forget about this.
You get hurt and...
a part of you is afraid to keep going,
to go for your dreams.

Are we programmed
that mistakes and failure
are wrong?!?
Are we forgetting
that it is a way to learn and to grow?
How are you as a parent
dealing with challenges of your kids?
Do they feel confident to try again,
or do you feel bad for them
because they mirror
YOUR wounds….

Everyone has wounds,
but like the giraffe in our hallway,
the scarf is dealing with it
and perhaps it needs some glue in the future ;-)
The wound stays,
but doesn't define you....

There are a lot of special days in a year,
and a few day ago it was 'suicide prevention day'.
I had to think about the giraffe
and the planet Saturn....

I read a lot of books on suicide,
personal books and 'scientific' books.
A lot of time a theme is:
quilt and shame....
'I am not good enough
other people expect more off me'
They forget about themselves,
they see themselves in the eyes of others….
for them they see failure....

Comparing yourself with someone else,
'thinking' that the other looks better, is better,
has nicer things etc etc…..
is forgetting that it is about YOU!
YOU are important.

Till next year, Saturn is the sign of Capricorn,
-as it was in 1988/1990-
its own sign, which means that it is very strong:
more discipline, more morals, more shame,
also more patience to let go off all the old patterns
that are outdated.
If not: more depression, more sadness,
not living in the now....

I saw an episode of 'Spoorloos' a program
were they unite families.
A girls of 8 was adopted by a Dutch family
and met her father, stepmom and sister again.
After 36 years she said:
 'I think it was my fault,
South Korea has a strong moral
and I said sometimes that my stepmom
wasn't my mom and I shouldn't have done that'....

How many children at the same age 
believe something about themselves
that is not true….
I think a lot....
I hope less and less.
I hope parents are closer to their kids
is this whish full thinking.....
Are parents safe enough in themselves
to let children make mistakes
or do they want to solve everything for them..

When our children where small
I thought:
'I would I could protect them
and when they are 20,
I could let them lose,
so they will be safe and happy'
Now I realise I was talking
from my wounds…..
They had their challenges
and like the giraffe in our hallway,
they go on to live the life they choose to!
I am a proud parent :-)

Most important:
Realising that failing and mistakes are stepping stones.
It is a way to learn.
If you are a parent:
make sure that there are 'mistakes'
and that this is part of life,
and part of growing
that you are there to guide them,
not to judge them….
For the writer of this book the most important prevention
against suicide.

The giraffe.....
a great metaphor...

And, as I do the last years,
made a new life cycle plan:
great to do,
and a great reminder to my inner conscious
what makes me really happy :-)

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