Tuesday 4 June 2024

Grief: do you feel it or cover it up....

If I look at the world around me,
I see a lot of grief covered up with the mind.....

Media that wants us take sides,
media that touches our fear....old fear....

I hear people who talk about
misunderstandings/ arguments/ taking sides
and people who are not patient anymore.....
angry at themselves and at others.

Comparing themselves with others and....
judging, feeling guilty and/or being ashamed...

And then......I came across this movie


'Stromboli'....

A movie about the road from fear to love,
about 'the rumbling' in peoples life,
and the tendency to  avoid it....
till it is not possible anymore.....

How often do we cover our heart,
cover our feelings with our minds.......
I believe we all do/did,
we needed to do this as a child....
to survive....

How many of us had challenging childhoods,
losses of loved ones,
not feeling accepted as they are....
We 'had' to move on and.....
to do so we 'had' to cover the hurt with our minds.....

The hurt of the people of Israel.....
is now the hurt of the Palestinians......
What about the kids involved.......
do they have to cover up their grief
and use violence again in the future or.....
are they allowed to grief.......

The hurt of people who were 'taking care of' in monastery's,
who felt 'safe' by priests....
The people who were 'helped' by powerful men and woman
like Epstein and Maxwell.
They had to cover up their grief to survive.

Are young people taught about patience,
taking responsibility and speaking up for what is right
or....do they 'have to cover up there grief' 
to get what they want.....Now.....
Not realising the consequences....


What does' working hard' mean?
Do we choose to work hard or
is this 'a bad sentence'.....

I see lot's of people working hard,
working so hard so there is no time to feel......
Being busy, afraid of silence,
of an evening or weekend without something planned.....

How much does this have to do with grief.....
with covering up grief with the mind.....
Afraid of dealing with the grief,
afraid of the anger that is still there
and......'is not accepted'.......
at least....that is 'what the mind says'.....

So instead of dealing with our own grief
and the anger that is still there,
we 'decide' to have an opinion about
'the wars in the world'
'how celebrity's behave'
'how the government is dealing/not dealing'
with the issues we think are important'......
'numbing ourselves with food/drink/drugs/opinions of others'



Our wounds are more open now
and....the light likes to come in.......

Can we remember the 'we are One'?
That we all are mirroring each other?
That if we hurt someone else, we hurt ourselves?
That if we heal ourselves, we help others to heal?

For me it is challenging as well.....
Old patterns come up and part of me 
is still unforgiving, feeling guilty and ashamed....
My mind tells me 'you should not feel this anymore'....
'trying' to cover up my grief.....old grief......

I choose to feel it and sometimes I can
and....sometimes my inner child is not ready.....
it needs more time and
that is ok....

I feel I have more and more compassion with others
and also set boundaries more and more......
More and more I do it for ME.......
I started this path because I didn't want my children
to deal with my wounds....
-realising that they inherit that as well from me ;-)-

I started from a feeling of guilt, of shame 
of not forgiving myself: 'I did something wrong'.....
Now I go on, because I Know:
I did the best I could then......
Now I choose to be
'the change that I like to see in this world ' -Ghandi-

I realise why I love to work with children,
I also realise how important education is,
how important it is that children learn 
to think for them selves,
so they can set boundaries....
So instead of following influencers/social media/tik tok/etc
without feeling how it is for them,
they will check, feel and question
and find there own voice.

They can be themselves/unique AND be part of a group....
Can speak up and express their emotion 
with love....instead of fear.








 

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