...... and after the last blog,
what started as a normal conversation,
I became angry and.....
the reaction I got was even more angry!!
I went from feeling despair, to guilty,
all the way to anger
-up on the scale even though it was not
something I choose consciously to do....-
When I got an even more angry reaction
-I thought I was 'just firm'-
there was a short moment of worry and doubt
that changed quickly into
irritation and frustration....
That gave an even more angry reaction
that I recognized as something one of my siblings could do....
I went to courage....and willingness....
I went for my walk and Jaap.....
-who was my angel in disguise in this ;-)-
I let him be......
he was cleaning the extraction hood....
-what a great sign for all of this :-)-
We went to reason, optimism and peace again,
realising that there is unconditional love....
We talked and realised we both still have
some old issues from the past
and his reaction is different than mine.
I put others first if I feel there is 'old hurt'
and forget myself
and by this am hurting myself even more.
He is 'lashing out' because of his hurt
and 'forgets' he is hurting others by this and....himself as well.
The same pattern, only a different way of dealing with pain....
We went from guilt, to anger, to empowerment and gratitude
with in between a pause.....;-)
Right now in all country's there is a lot going on:
Is there power or force,
commitment and responsibility,
finding a way to feel free....
We always have to realise
that freedom without borders
can not be freedom for all....
And....we are all in....
I am watching a documentary about the Kennedy's
and it is very interesting if you look at it energetically.
Joe, the father, had a dream and he wanted it 'his way'....
his wife had a dream as well and was as determent as her husband.
When it didn't work out as how they wanted it,
they had a different goal:
their children should make sure their dream came trough.
was it the dream of their children as well?
Could they make the choice they wanted to make?
Did they 'shine as they were born to shine'
or did they have to shine in a way the father and mother
couldn't by themselves.
Was this Power......or force......
I was shocked to see that even when Jack became president
he was 'ordered'
to give his brother the job in the Justice department.....
When they went to Europe for their first tour,
his mother went with them,
not because he wanted it, but because she demanded it......
Was it a family that used Power
or a family that used Force......
If you look at what happened in that family
The sixties were a time with big changes,
now we are in a time of big changes again:
did we learn from the past?
How is it in our family's?
Are we using power or....still force......
If there is force, there is also pain.....
shame, unworthiness, powerless,
despair, guilt, insecurity,
depression, lack of interest,
grief and fear........
On the scale of consciousness all emotion under 100.......
All emotion that makes you vulnerable for manipulation.
So if I see angry people
I like that better than people who are afraid...
I worry sometimes, and am frustrated that people
are lashing out without looking at the other side
and I also realise that most likely
they are afraid to deal with old hurt....
I Know I don't have to worry
because energy is always honest:
you will get what you give.
So I am hopeful and....
while dealing with my old hurts
choose to enjoy life and be happy.
I wish the same for you!