Oxytocin and Mars.

 Mars, 

the planet of energy, action, war,

courage and desire, 

aggression and drive,

went direct on Feb. 24.

From December last year it went retrograde.

These last months we got the time

to look inside, re-think, re-flect.

Inner conflicts, frustration

and.....infections/feeling sick

are signs of this energy.

In the sign of Cancer,

it most likely had to do with feeling emotional safe,

family patterns....

-did you celebrate Christmas with family

and new year with friends and.....how did it go?-

Did you had expectation or.....could you

 'just accept and enjoy'.

Now Mars is direct 

you can take action.

Did you deal with old patterns, old idea's 

or did you need some signs from outside?

Did you get signs from your body

and could/did you take time to rest?

Did you find your drive/passion again and:

what will be your action the coming time,

the first thing you will do?

Do you Know what you like to do?

Did you build on slow dopamine or

are you still 'a prisoner'.

A prisoner of past emotions,

a prisoner of 'your phone',

quick dopamine.

Do YOU choose your life

or does life chooses you.......

Do you look at social media

and the world around you and feel 

stuck/fear or

do you choose to think for your self,

challenge thoughts and feel connected 

with the people around you.

Dopamine Oxytocin ....S....E...

Oxytocin.

You get this when you are with others.

Knowing you can do more when you do it together.

When we needed to hunt to get food,

we had to do this together to survive.

-Those animals were to big and scary-

We had to trust each other and were grateful

that we could relay on others 

and they on us.

We don't need that anymore and it looked like it was ok.

Only....was it ok?!?

With Covid, we experienced what lack of human contact meant,

and realized that lack of oxytocin 

had a big impact on mental health

People NEED touch to live, to survive.

How many hugs do you give/get every day?

Do you have a strong family, group of friends?

What do you do to connect with people

Can you be grateful or are you in the blaming/judging energy....

If you are in the blaming/judging energy,

most likely your oxytocin level is low.

How come you don't Know that you are good 

'just the way you are'?

How do you talk to yourself:

do you love yourself unconditionally

or do you compare yourself with someone else.

How come you do that? Who let you believe

that there is competition: the world, social media,

religion, your parents?

What happened after you were born and were held by your parents:

did you feel loved and protected,

did you feel part of a family/society/country?

Being born is an important event 

which is the base of the rest of your life......

What happened after?

AND: what happened when you became an adult?

Do you have social connections

or is you phone your social connection....

How do you talk to yourself:

how critical are you?

-if you are not sure: look how you react on social media,

judge people, are stuck on your own convictions...

most likely you talk to yourself in the same way.....-

You can do all kinds of things to let Oxytocin grow

only.....if there are unhealthy/wounded believes inside of you

it will not stick......

Did you get wrong believes about yourself when you were a child?

Remember: You are unique, special and you are love.

Did you get the believe that you are only part of 'the group'

if you did what 'they' liked?

Remember: You are born to be unique 

and the group will benefit

if you show them who you are 

and you benefit if they show you who they are.

'Donald Trump'* likes all of us to go back,

back to be a caterpillar only.....

that is not possible....

We all are in the process of being a butterfly....

we will and can not go back...

-*You can write any politic leader that shows no respect for

each individual. Who likes to power over people instead of being a leader.

I am sure you all know people in your country, in your family in the world

who mirror this to us-

Oxytocin will grow if you connect,

connect in person.

What will happen to the world if we all come together,

help when we can,

ask for help when we need it

and see each other as an unique human being?

Let's start with living,

to be grateful

and look at our mirrors.

Where in our lives are we blocking ourselves,

are we afraid to be the butterfly, 

to spread our wings and fly....

Use the energy of Mars going direct

and let your oxytocin level grow:

connect and feel confident.

Are you a prisoner?!? Last part.

What if your parent is incarcerated?

I saw a documentary about 6 people who had one of their parents

incarcerated when they were young.

All of them are successful now.

All of them think they deserved their sentence

and all of them love their parents.....

How were they treated?

What did people think about them?

What did they think about themselves?

As one of them said:

'You are were you came from,

you choose were you want to go...'

In all the story's 

you hear the guild and shame,

what people think and 

the love children have for their parents.

Also the parent:

all of a sudden they realise how their actions

affected their children.....

Also guild and shame.......

Saturn: do you stay in guild and shame,

or do you accept the consequences of your deeds

and choose to do better.

Choose......

These young people had to deal with a real prison

and were sometimes judged for what their parent did.....

They didn't do anything wrong.....

How is it with us?

Are we judged because of our 'parents/family/country/believe'?

Do we judge others because of this?

What do we choose?

Are we mobile phone prisoners?

What do we choose?

The quick dopamine or the slow one...

Saturn: taking your time, step by step, be responsible.

Do we take responsibility and Know we can change?

Do we show respect and are we taking time to build long-term dopamine,

or do we choose the short term.....

Remember: 

every day you can choose again.....

Choose and be patient with yourself,

take your time,

there is no competition.

Also remember:

The more you judge people around you,

most likely 

the more you are judging yourself even.....

Choose to recognise it

remember we are 'ALL One'

Let's choose to be free,

and Know...this takes time.

Let's start to check what we see and read on social media:

it doesn't have to be the truth.....

 

Are you a prisoner?!? Part 3

 I saw the documentary 'Free At last'

Free at last: onopgeloste verhalen over Apartheid | NPO Start

After 27 years in prison,

Nelson Mandela was freed.

Instead of wanting revenge,

he wanted a new start,

let go of the past and start new....

He became the first black president of South Africa.

His dopamine level must have been very high.....

Now it is 30 years later:

what happened with the people.

Did the truth and reconciliation commission work?

Did the witnesses, amnesty, reparations and rehabilitations work?

Could people forgive and move on

and did the perpetrators realise what they had done?

Watching this, 

I realise that every person has it's own path

and it's own time and....

you should respect that....

also respecting that sometime you still can not forgive....

you need more time.

Emotions are powerful.

Could it be that emotions are like 'mobile phones':

if you don't deal with them,

if you don't set boundaries,

you become and stay a victim.....

Nelson Mandela could do it

-he had 27 year the time to deal with it-

he saw the big picture.

He realised that if he wanted peace,

he needed to talk.....to communicate.

It took time and patience, a big goal.....

He had to communicate with people who put him in jail......

In stead of revenge, he choose to find a middle way 

so every one could live

in the same country.

Now, 30 years later it get's better,

but it is not  yet the country Nelson Mandela imagined.

Perpetrators realised how they were manipulated,

used and raised there consciousness.,

And still....not everyone is ready to forgive,

the hurt is to deep.

Seeing this,

shows how important it is to respect each other,

respect each others path.

You realise what a special leader

Nelson Mandela was......

Instead of revenge he choose forgiving and peace.

And still .....it takes time.....

Did we learn something from this?

Before South Afrika, there was Word War 2,

now there is Israel/Palestine,

Russia/Ukraine.

How are the leaders in this world.....

What is their big vision,

is it for All people, like Nelson Mandela,

or is it 'ego'.......

-with Pluto in Aquarius we can see the immature energy of Leo,

the opposite sign....-

How is it with us?

Did we deal with our emotions

and do we see the big picture?

Can we accept......

forgive and move on?

Can we also accept 

that we are not ready yet,

if everything is not going as we imagined it?

Can we choose 

to have compassion with ourselves

and......

take it one step at a time.....?

Building dopamine takes time and effort.

Stepping out of our own prison

needs consciousness and communication:

perhaps not all of our convictions are right......

perhaps we were still acting from a wounded child.....

Are you a prisoner ?!? Part 2

How do you speak to yourself?

Do you realise how you do?

How come we have a tendency to judge?

What do you choose 

to see and hear on social media?

Are you in charge or...your mobile phone.....

In the book Dose, you realise straight away

the connection with the 'phone based generation'

We want instant gratification:

the good feeling NOW......

This doesn't help with building dopamine...

Dopamine is built through effort,

it is not something you are born with,

not 'a talent'....

For me it has to do with Saturn.

Saturn, the planet of 

patience, determination,

commitment, responsibility, 

discipline, perseverance

and also limitation and restrictions.

It also has to do with parenthood:

being there for your children to help

them to live and survive/thrive in this world.

Saturn 'tests' you every 7 years:

so, 

after 7 years you get new teeth,

you get more responsibility's

and go to school to learn 'life'

-reading, writing, dealing with friendships etc.-

Around 14 you go to middle school:

often farter away from home.

You have to deal with more people,

new people, homework

and puberty.....

There will be challenges, hurts,

all to make you strong.

-remember the tree from the last blog-

Parents are there to be loving

and......to be patient,

Knowing 

that challenges are helping making them strong.

Perhaps painful to see AND mirroring

the parents old wounds: are they dealing with them

or do parent choose -subconsciously-

to avoid this by 'taking the wind away'

not realising that this prevents them 

to be strong in the future......

Around 21 you find the job you like to do,

or are studying for the job you like to do.

Now is the time to be responsible for yourself.

The next 7 years you get the time

AND

at around 28 the cycle starts again.

How did you do these first 28 years?

Do you need some more patient, responsibility,

determination or.....do you need to let go of

guild and shame you build because

you felt you had to prove something,

you had to live the life your parents wanted you to have.....

The phone based childhood 'forgot' to build dopamine

and come in a flow state.

Some did, by doing sports or reading,

only.....

the phone apps were build to 'addict you'....

You didn't have time to get in a flow state.....

As an adult you 'had' to go to your work,

do the dishes, take care of the children,

only....

the children didn't build up that dopamine.

They need the time to get in this flow state.

They need parents who help them

only......

How many parents are dealing subconsciously

with their own unhealed emotions? 

Overprotecting and......

 -not knowing this 'world of Mars'-

 didn't help.....

You can built this up.......

start with 15 minutes.......

and....

if it is only 3 at the beginning, accept it....

next day can be 5 or 8.

Take you time, let go of the judgement...

be disciplined.

Where in your life do you need to take the first step?

It could be: 

-'instead of the elevator I take the steps'

-'every morning I make my bed'

-'no phones in the bedroom, I get you an alarm clock'

-'I clean the dishes first and then I...'

-'We clean your clothes draw together and then

 we read a book'.

- 'I love how you love to have a clean room'

  after you helped clean the room.

-'You know, you fell down often before you could right the bike,

  and you still went on because you wanted to right the bike. 

 This is just like that: not so nice now but you will be happy later'

-'Can you help me with this?'

-'I know you didn't mean to, but you hurt me,

  can I get a hug?'

We are at the end of the cycle of Saturn.

Who were you the last 28 years?

Were you to strict, of do you need more discipline.

Did you build Dopamine and.....

do you need more

to have the life you love to have....

Neptune is also at the end of a cycle,

a 165 year cycle...

Could you let go of old paradigms?

Do you still believe all you thought 

or did you realise that

some of those believes were not true?

Can you let them go?

Are you open for new, better ones?

Do you still need to control

or can you trust more and more....

The world is mirroring this energy as well 

Did we learn from the past,

or didn't we heal enough and

do we need to repeat......

Next time more.

 

Are you a prisoner?!? Part 1

 At the moment I am reading two books,

one about 'the anxious generation' one about 'Dose'

Both books relate to each other AND show 

also how we dealt with the Pluto in Capricorn energy

from 2008 till 2024.

The consequences of this period

AND 

what we 'need' to transform the coming years..

-while Pluto moves trough Aquarius-

Transform, so we can be unique, authentic 

AND be part of the group/society.

Respect, compassion for each other 

and for ourselves.

Rules and regulations that are needed

to keep everyone healthy and safe.

Time to accept, heal and let go.

While reading this book I realised even more

how the smart phone and social media changed our lives

and especially for the young people.

They went from a play-based child hood,

to a phone-based child hood.

Instead of discovering the world,

learning by risky play,

a lot of parents wanted to make sure

that their kids would be protected, safe.

They knew how 'the world' was,

saw the dangers AND wanted to make sure

'bad things' wouldn't happen to them.

From which energy was this parenting?

Was it from an healed or a wounded energy.....

From fear or....from love.

A lot of organisations/institutions/family's 

had skeletons in their closets and.......

they had to face the consequences.

It looked like the world was becoming a lot saver.

It was, 

only there was a 'new world coming:

in 2007 there was the mobile phone and

in 2008 there were the apps.....

A new world was starting,

we made sure the world we knew

-the old world- became safer

AND

we had to invite this new world:

'the world of Mars'....

A world we didn't know,

a world we assumed 

to be safer than the world we were living in....

Was it/is it safer?!?

In 1980 people tried to build a self sustained eco system in outer space.

It was designed to support 8 people for several years.

It didn't work: 

healthy trees fell over,

they grew to quickly and.....

didn't build up  a healthy root system

and wood that was strong.

They realised trees needed wind to become strong,

they alter cell structure...

Children are the same: they are 'antifragile',

they need challenges to grow....

Physically and mentally..  

While the outside world became safer

a whole generation grew up 

with this new world, 'the mars world'.

Instead of playing, children stayed inside.

They moved in this new world AND

adults and children had no idea how it worked in this world.

How safe is it?

As a teenager in this book said: 

'I al of a sudden was on a porn side when I was 10.

My mom was in the next room cooking a healthy meal

with different coloured fruit and vegetables'

Could it be that this is why we have an epidemic of Mental illness?

Don't we know anymore how to relate to each other?

When mobile phones were banned in schools a few years ago,

a lot of children didn't like it at all,

now they are happier: 'we talk to each other and that is fun!'.

'No social media till 16'

For lot's of country's this is the next step,

the next 'rule'......

Sometimes it looks like people thing that

'rules are bad'......

For me: rules make sure you get freedom,

freedom for everyone

and it keeps everyone safe.

-I mentioned this before: 

just imagine going in the car

to a place you want to go and 

there wouldn't be traffic lights

or signs......

would you arrive safe and sound 

to the place you want to go?!?-

The internet/social media, this world of Mars.....

It brings us a lot AND we need rules and regulations

to make sure we are free to be ourselves.....

Then about this other book: 'Dose'

D for dopamine.

What do you REALY want and......are you motivated enough

to go for it.....

OR.....

did you forget you had the 'courage muscle'

because you didn't need it.....

How big is your motivation.....

When reading I realised that when I got cancer,

I developed a long time motivation,

a determination to go through whatever was needed

to live my life.

I also realised that playing the guitar,

was something I liked,

but not enough....

I also realised I didn't want it for myself,

I wanted it as an extra for the grandkids......

D......dopamine.......

Do you have a goal?

As a teenager do you want to do what is needed?

As a young adult did you learn that 'wind and storm'

is needed to make you strong?

Do you realise that programmers want you

to be 'addicted'....that is how they earn money?

Can you set boundaries and choose what YOU want to see

AND take time to live YOUR life?