Cleaning....

 Or perhaps better: 

'Most challenging cleaning'.....

The huge amount of solar flames are 'helping'

-dizziness, headaches, feeling tired, brain fog,

disbalance, fear and a feeling of powerlessness,

eye sight is not clear, are some of the effect on human beings..-

Mercury retrograde and Pluto retrograde

are 'helping'

and.....

We sometimes don't like to clean,

to deal with our old patterns.....

Do you choose to judge yourself:

'I should deal with it and start 'cleaning' '

or

'How come this is still not 'clean',

what did I do wrong?!?'

or

'I thought I 'cleaned' this....apparently not,

so it is ok. I take time to accept,

time to feel what it is 

it wants me to know....'

or

'I go in nature and choose some crystals to help me ground'

or

'Cleaning emotions takes a lot of time and energy,

so I give my body the time and space

and take a step back from society'

Most of our challenges have their origins in our childhood.

A childhood were we 'thought' we -deep down-

 couldn't be who we authentically are.

So....

we can choose to help this inner child

by doing the things children love to do.

So: sing, dance, have fun, 

start something new

and laugh....

bake cookies, eat what you love

at a time you like and......

for 'a day' do what makes you happy,

makes you feel safe and secure....

Mercury retrograde is still in Gemini,

but will be in Taurus from May 24,

so....what do you plan for YOU?

The cleaning of your mind will go much quicker

if you accept... and accept.... and accept....

After that you feel your emotions and........

choose to let it go at its own time:

when if feels you don't 

need it anymore....

not when You think you don't need it anymore....

-most of the time then our control mechanism is coming in ;-)-

We live in a 'thinking' world,

we learned to approach the world by words,

we are judged by words

and 

even though we know now 

that our heart is influencing our brain,

and not the other way round,

we still like to park our emotion.....

as if they are not that important....

No wonder we have cobwebs in our brain:

we only can 'clean' them by emotions!

No wonder we leak energy.......

we weren't taught how to deal with emotions!

The last decades more and more people 

wrote and made documentary's about this,

-the secret, effortless prosperity, ask and it is being given etc-

about abundance and that it is for all....

Lot's of people followed courses and methods

and.....

some were happy after it,

and......

some really disappointed.....

For me it has to do with this 'thinking world' we live in......

We were taught to believe that our feeling need

to take the back seat and our mind should be more important.....

In the mean time lot's of 'new' children were born,

since the 80's,

also the star of 'labeling children'......

For me these children/young adults are our mirrors.

They showed us that something was not right....

and instead of listening to them 

we choose to knead them in a shape we could deal with....

As I see it, they wanted to help us 'clean the cobwebs'

in our mind......

Some of these children are parents themselves now,

they are building this new society.....

Are they doing this with a clean mind,

or are they inherited more 'cobwebs'....

Is discipline still the 'bad word'?

Does it equals misuse of power,

bad feelings and fear of punishment

or

is it 'just'

practicing how powerful we are

if we take the time....

Is it the road to success.

If it is the first,

and you know the feeling of guild and shame,

you Know these are cobwebs.....

If you compare yourself to others,

realise these are cobwebs as well......

Cleaning time.

Using discipline, determination

patience and compassion

to look guild and shame in they eye,

-realising they are part of the cobweb-

and make room for peace, fun and ...

whatever you choose....

Discipline is needed if you want to grow and heal.

We are being taught that there is a time limit, 

and that the one who is quick is the best....

This is not true.....

everyone has it's own time,

it's own pace,

it's own goal,

it's own happiness....

Take your time,

start...

and

enjoy......

Be disappointed and...

go on again.....

it's part of the 'cleaning'......

Know that with every step you take,

you come closer,

you have all the time that is needed....

Heal and choose to be helpful

 

This tree is still carrying a dead one......

How often do we carry energy that is not ours,

but from 'dead' people,

or our own past....

Mercurius went retrograde on the 10th 

and it will stay there the coming three weeks.

In the sign of Gemini

which has to do with traffic, media and communication.

I am sure most of you had some challenges with this;-)

With Pluto retrograde as well, 

it 'helps' us to deal withold energy's: 

the way we talk to ourselves,

do we use Pluto as power and transformation

or as manipulation and feeling helpless.

Pluto has also to do with 'war'.....

Jupiter, the planet of growing and healing

went into Aries: 'let's do it!'

So we can take action to heal, to grow,

the energy is with us!

Let's decide to let the 'dead tree go, 

so we can grow more easily!'

Jupiter in Aries just ask us to take a first step.....

We don't have to let it all go at once.......

If we start to let go a little bit,

moving forward will go more easy.....

Most of us are used to 'the big bag of the past'

and it would be to uncomfortable to let it go all at once....

So let's start with a little bit at a time.

May 16th there is full moon and total eclipse:

Uranus and Saturn are involved:

are you free, authentic, yourself AND responsible

as part of a community

or

are there still some old patterns that are holding you back....

How is it in society?

What do you see and experience?

Do we respect others if they have another opinion?

Is there communication or is there fear to express yours?!?

If there are old patterns,

most likely you will get mirrors.

Mirrors, so you can heal that old part.

In your personal life

and also in society.

The most challenging in this energy will probably be

that you see loved once going trough challenges.....

You like to do it for them,

only you can't........

You can make sure that you feel safe and secure inside.

Have compassion with yourself and are being patient 

so they feel they can share their hurt/burden with you

and feel that it is ok.....

that there is unconditional love.

You can be a safe haven and 'walk' with them

so they feel they don't have to journey alone....

 

Are your roots strong enough to carry abundance?

 Everyday is a new start to choose.....

If you look at nature,

you see that it 'just' goes on living....

War or no war, new leaves will grow,

birds lay eggs, baby's animals are born.

Yes, plants die as well, trees fall down,

and eggs are being eaten.

Nature accepts and goes on......

We are nature as well 

and for us it seems much more challenging,

to accept, let go and grow......

even though nature helps us by giving signs.

Last month one of our plants got lot's of new leaves: beautiful!

They were getting really big and I even 

had to put the plant on a lower table 

or it would touch the ceiling.

I really love this plant....

We went away for a few days

and when we came back it looked like this:

the two stems who developed so many new leaves

had cracked,

they were to heavy for the stem.....

I had to cut them and put them in a vase...

perhaps they will get new roots...

When looking at this,

I realised that we all like to grow as fast as possible

and be as prosperous as we think is best for us. 

This is great only......sometimes we forget 

that this is only possible if we have a strong base,

a stem that can hold this,

strong roots....

The more we grow, the stronger our roots need to be....

If you realise this, you also realise,

that healing is an ongoing process......

It is a process of accepting:

you never go back were you where,

you are 'just' going on a deeper level of healing.

A deeper level of healing,

so we can attract even more what we desire.

How often do we judge others 

-and by that ourselves!-

instead of being curious and accept......

Accept, that what is happening to us,

is something we deep down attracted.....

Do we have the patient to feel.....

to heal

and to grow roots/bigger stems

so we can deal with 'more and better'.....

If I look at Zoe,

I see a curious little girl.

Not always walking on the regular path 

but decides to walk her own path. 

She learns by falling and mirroring the people around her.

Her parents and other adults are patient with her

and she gets the time to grow......

How come we are not patient with ourselves anymore......

We are all just 'big children'......

How come we overthink and forget to trust.....

Where in our lives did we forget to trust....

What if we would decide to deal with

this parts in our life 

and grow strong roots again,

stems that can carry abundance......

I believe the cosmos is helping us

by giving us signs.....

We 'only' have to see them,

accept them, taking one step at a time

and be grateful.

Remembering that all choices

come with responsibility's

and quilt and shame is an old energy

that needs healing.....

Are we stuck on the bridge called Chiron?

 Years ago in one of my Astrology classes, we talked about 

the planets Saturn and Uranus in connection with 'the world'

and that we need a critical mass to go to the Aquarius age

and 'we are almost there'......

Uranus and the age of Aquarius are connected:

 ' A world where we all are equal, unique and free,

a world where we respect each others uniqueness,

and work together to be who we are supposed to be.'

With the eclipse season starting, my mind went back to

18/19 years ago -this is the cycles of the Nodes so you can look

in your own live what happened is 2003/2004....-

At that time I connected with like minded people - Uranus-,

a group that 'wanted to help themselves AND 'the world' '......

Looking back we looked at our wound and 'thought'

we were ready to make the next step.

We 'thought' we were ready for the big step.....

We forgot that we had to take the bridge first....

the bridge between Saturn and Uranus

called Chiron.....our wounded healer.

I started a group and my goal was to be a leader

by example, starting a group of leaders,

working together.'

I didn't join the bigger group till later......

That is the biggest challenge when going over this bridge:

if you go over, you have to trust people,

you have to take responsibility for your self

and.....love yourself unconditionally:

with your challenges, flaws and 'bad' habits.....

If you go over and Saturn is not totally 'out of prison'

the group/society will mirror your wounds....Chiron.... 

Instead of being patient, and determent and trusting,

your 'head' is taking over.....

All the old protecting mechanism come up to make sure

you get what you 'want' instead of trusting that what needs to come to you,

will come in it's own time....

I followed a leader who wasn't healed.....

I stayed in the immature Saturn energy:

'the leader knows best'......

Even though I followed MY intuition when starting with my group,

I didn't when my group joined other groups......

Now I Know.....I can follow my intuition,

challenge leaders

and be responsible, be patient.....

So now we are again in the same energy as in 2003/2004:

am I ready to cross this bridge,

did I heal my wound?

I am sure it is more healed then it was then

and......I will find out if it is really healed

by looking at society now.....

There is so much going on in the word,

and people are reacting instead of responding.....

I live in Holland now, 

a 'free' country,

a government that is liberal, open minded.

We will not be put in jail if we say what we want to say,

we will not be put in jail if we are different than someone else,

we will not be put in jail if we have a different religion.

A government- Saturn- should be there

to make rules and regulations

so we, as society, can thrive.

Rules to make sure 

we feel safe to be ourselves

and also make sure  that everyone is included

and will be protected when needed.

We choose this government and.....

if we don't like the choices they make for us, 

we can choose again!

Also realising that we are all different and it will never 

be 100% good for everyone,

but that is ok.....

It sounds so great, if there wasn't 

a new 'government' in the make,

a 'government' that is much more powerful and brutal.....

Social media -Uranus- is great!

We can connect with people all over the world,

we can find information

and it is for every one....

A call from Oman in the '80 was expensive

and it took time to come through:

now it is 'free' and quick.

The cancel and woke culture is something new.....

Stronger than the toughest judge,

putting people in 'jail' before they had a change to defend themselves.

People are reacting anonymously and are becoming an invisible force,

so powerful and....so scary......

In stead of an new society, we stay in an old one....

just with an other appearance.....

It is an immature Uranus....

People who are stuck on the bridge,

stuck with a wound they don't realise they have 

or don't want to deal with.....

People who don't have patience,

don't want to take responsibility

but want 'others' to heal their wounded world.....

More people are afraid to express their opinions,

because of treats....

Isn't that the same as living in a country with a dictator.....?

I am happy people have different opinions,

they mirror us, 

so we can check if what we think is still right for us

or needs an 'update'.....

In the 'me too' discussions, 

you see that people didn't realise

what the consequents' of their action where back then......

Now they know and they can choose to change......

Perhaps they need to go to 'jail'.....however:

they need to get a fair trial not to be judged

by an anonymous, unhealed group....

If we accept this, we are stuck on 

this bridge called Chiron.....

If people are afraid to talk,

a lot of will stay hidden,

what needs to come up.....

I realised that with the group in 2003/2004

and also in the first group I lived in: my family......

It is as with us all:

if we don't heal our wounds,

we will go on acting out, blaming other

and stay in the prison of Saturn....

We will feel quilt, shame,

depressed and stuck......

It looks like we are free, but we are not......

If you are really free,

you are relaxed, happy, active,

compassionate and firm.

You enjoy live and want other to enjoy life as well.

Others don't have to think the same as you,

you respect them and let them live their life.

Others don't have to think the same as you,

but if they hurt someone/you, you need to speak up:

we are all ONE and standing up,

means standing up for yourself.

I believe we need new rules in this new society

if we want to live in peace and harmony.

Social media is new and.....doesn't have good rules...yet...

If you want a discussion, if you don't agree:

don't hide, but be YOU.....

I talked about the bridge between Saturn to Uranus: Chiron....

We need to deal with our wound,

the place were we are vulnerable.

We ALL have this wound in a different place.....

be compassionate instead of putting salt in the wound....

realise you put this in your own wound as well .....

Putin is acting like the dictator and......what are we doing?

I Know he is 'just' a mirror,

only it feels as if we don't do enough........

Could it be that this is the mirror for me/us?

Do we have to do more,

or going on, step by step, healing our wounds,

so we can be our own leader?

And if we are our own leader, 

then we can build a society of leaders:

everyone using it's own talent, so there is no competition.

We can use our talent to help others,

and others can help us with their talent...