Were did your transformation took place?

 Transformation.

Pluto went into Aquarius, leaving Capricorn behind.

If you know a bit about astrology,

it is interesting to see through which house/houses

Pluto traveled the last years.

That part shows were your transformation took place.

For me it was the 4th house.

It started in 1999/2000 and now it just went into the 5th house.

The 4th house is a water house,

your emotional roots, family karma,

talents and challenges.

It has to do with emotional caretakers, 

and emotional intelligence.

It is a cardinal house, 

so it helps you to create 

emotional security for yourself and otherwise.

It helps you to find  emotional security, 

so you can create and explore when Pluto moves into the 5th house.

My parents past away in 1998,

so when Pluto moved into the 4th house

it was a huge transformation.

We just moved back to Holland:

could I be Me in an 'old setting'?

Could I be my own parent and

be emotional available for my own children?

Could I see them as mirrors or did I like to 

trust my wounded inner child?

I learned a lot.

I let go of what I thought people expected from me,

I was hurt, had to let go of people who choose to leave, 

and let go of people 

who were not good for me anymore.

I let go of 'stuff', 

sometimes not by my choosing - a fire- 

and more and more

because I choose to let go.

We moved back to the Middle East and moved back to Holland.

More and more finding an emotional stability.

Also realising -this took time ;-)- that deep down

I believed people only loved me 

if I did something for them.....

'Just' being me 'wasn't enough'.....

I didn't realise I was in 'a cage'......

a cage I didn't know I could fly out.....

It was my choice to be free.....

Knowing that being free 

didn't mean letting go of all of the past....

My grandchildren were a next step,

They are great mirrors,

unconditional love and....fun :-)

I realised that there still was an old pattern,

an old emotion....

And while moving to the Middle East in 1982

helped me to get away and 'finding Me' again,

I realised that going to London to visit my grandkids 

I could even transform a bit more:

I could AND be there for the people I love

AND be there for ME.

The time when Pluto went through my 4th house,

was a challenging time and a transforming time.

When I had diner in London

with our son and daughter I realised it was

a healing time and I am so grateful for this.

We have to realise that by knowing how it spiritual works,

we can also use this as an 'excuse'....

An excuse not to deal with our own pain......

Avoiding emotions 'because it isn't spiritual'

so not to have to look deeper inside of you......

The coming years we will be confronted by this

more and more.

We are living in a thinking world

and to deal with our emotions 

we need sometimes the outside world.....

children.......

We have to realise that there are no short cuts......

If you have children in your life,

Know that they are your mirror

if you still like to avoid your emotions....

Be grateful AND.....

choose to deal with YOUR emotions,

so it will be easier for them.....

I know some people still pay lot's of money 

to 'heal in a weekend'.....

Wouldn't it be great if it would work like this....

only....

it doesn't......

With Pluto in Aquarius,

social media, AI, can be of a great help. 

It also can connect you with groups that forgot each individual talent,

and instead of your own power you are following someone else's,

forgetting you own unique talent.....

We can expect great inventions only:

do we remember that everything can be used for the good,

only also for the bad......

Will leaders use integrity or do they still want power

-unhealed emotion-

How is it with your integrity and do you still want power....

because you believe you are 'not enough'....

Can you speak up from inner power,

so you can help change the world,

not knowing you do.....

The children peace price went this year to

Nila Ibrahimi, 17 years young.

Did we forgot about the woman in Afganistan,

who are not allowed to show themselves,

speak, get an education and sing?

Does this mirror ourselves or part of ourselves?

Let's start with dealing with our own trauma,

have compassion with ourselves,

be open to let new people in

and let people go 

if they don't make you happy

even if you love them......

Let's remember who we are:

Powerful beyond measure,

unconditional love,

All One.....

What do we listen to and.....can we hear ourselves.....?

 In the media lot's is going on.

World wide people 'know' that Amsterdam 

is the centre of antisemitism,

Muslims were attacking Jews.....

Is this true, or is it only part of the truth?!?

After this was in the media,

some people showed video's 

of Israelis supporters.....

it seems they started it,

it appears they are not so 'holy' as it seems.......

Did the media report this?

Yes, they did....a little bit....

only.....

to attack 'Muslims' seems more important.....

If you read the above,

you could believe that I am anti one group

and pro another........

That isn't true.....

I am pro life, pro love.

I believe everyone is love 

and Know we are 'all One'

I also believe we only act like this

because of deep hurt and fear.

We start reacting instead of responding.

We react 

instead of looking inside and start healing.....

Today it is a full Moon.

The Scorpio Sun opposite the Taurus Moon.

Where are we challenged?

Where are we holding on to old believes

because we are afraid?

Afraid to let go and be ourselves again:

authentic, love and unique.

A lot of people feel they are in a storm like now.

It is challenging and tough 

to see it as 'clearing of a path'.

Pluto is almost leaving Capricorn 

and starting Aquarius.

Do we realise that each of us came here

with a unique quality?

Do we forget that we need to have patience,

determination and need to set boundaries as well?

When Pluto went into Capricorn,

it were the banks who didn't set boundaries,

organisations and governments who misused their power.

With Pluto in Aquarius,

we have to look at social media,

groups who believe in something and instead of thinking for themselves,

'just follow' what they hear.....

Are the people we listen to and follow, honest

or....

do they have an other motivation....

Influencers get money to promote.....

Do they want to influence people for the good,

or....

do they see it as an easy way to live the life they choose to

and is it 'just' a way to earn money....

The owners of social media....X......

do they realise their power and....

do we......

Honesty, integrity.. 

Good to remember......

Let's choose to be a positive roll model for the children now.

Let's choose to deal with our own issues so they don't have 

to solve them for us...

Let's imagine a future were we all live together,

Let's start with imagining a future 

with respect and honor 

to the people around us.

Let's remember that we are all mirrors for each other

so BE the change you want to see in this word.

Respect and honor yourself.

Take time for you,

be patient,

love yourself.

Children are our future - YouTube

'A little piece of you' ....part 2

 

This was written on the t shirt

you could buy at the musical.

Music touches emotions.

You remember situations when hearing a song: 

it brings you back in time.

Whenever I hear or see something from the Titanic

it brings me back when my mom was at the hospital.

-the sign of the Titanic was used in the musical as well..-

The first song from this musical was new to me,

and still.....it touched me.......

'Can you be YOU'......

The theme of  the mother and daughter.

Being a female in the 70's,

'mother and wife of' was her job:

who was she?!?

Anger hidden inside,

afraid of not being good enough....

Beauty isn't what you look like or do.....

it's who you are....

That night I became ill, had to throw up.....

I can't remember when this happened the last time.....

Luckily I didn't feel sick,

The next day I just decided to be careful what to eat..

'not letting in to much...'

How often am I still doing what people expect from me,

or better: what I think people expect from me,

instead of doing what I choose to......

Everything went fine and we travelled back to Holland.

Feeling grateful to have special days with Loes

and meet up with Bas: family is special :-)

This all was on the new moon, a new start,

an energy of Scorpio:

passion, deep cleaning,

what is blocking love,

needs to go......

And then, the first night I was home,

 I watched a program in Holland:

'The best singers'.

Popular singers come together for a few weeks

on a special location,

and sing for each other and share their life story.

The last evening is about duets.

Tangarine & Karin Bloemen - Too much heaven | Beste Zangers (youtube.com)

And .....

my emotions were touched straight away.....

like with the musical......

Nobody gets too much Heaven no more

It's much harder to come by

I'm waiting in line

Nobody gets too much love anymore

It's as high as a mountain

And harder to climb

I can see a new tomorrow
Everything we own will never die
Love is such a beautiful thing, oh
When you are to me
The light above
Made for all to see
Our precious love

What is my focus........

Do I realise how beautiful live is or do I focus on what is not good enough.....

Matthijn Buwalda & Claude - Mooi | Beste Zangers 2024 (youtube.com)

A beautiful song in Dutch/French.

A reminder that you create your own luck 

and are just as rich as you feel?

I thought about 'the anger' in the family.....hidden anger

 and...... also not so hidden anger.....

There is cancer in our family,

depression and suicide.

There is also laughter, love, compassion,

sharing and respect in our family.

'How beautiful life can be, it just how you look at it'.....

How much of the not so hidden anger 

were old emotions from within the family......

How come we judge this anger and are still ok with suppressing it.....

Is it because than 'we fit in', 'we don't make waves'?!?

Matthijn Buwalda - In gedachten | Beste Zangers 2024 (youtube.com)

Even if people can't hear how much you love them,

you still can love them in you mind....

They don't have to be in your live to still respect and love them.

It is just in an other way.

I choose to let the anger go,

because it will hurt me and I choose to stop hurting myself.......

That is why you sometimes have to let go of people

to make sure you will stay ok.....

The last song in show was:

'This is me!'

Karin Bloemen & Matthijn Buwalda - This is me | Beste Zangers 2024 (youtube.com)

Make sure you are YOU!

Be proud of it,

proud of all your scars,

of all your challenges,

because they helped you to be courageous.

They helped you to feel how powerful you are.

Let this Scorpio energy help you to let go.

Let go what is old and needs to go,

so you can feel your power more,

more love can come in.

These were some of 'my signs',

what signs did you get?

Whatever it is: 

cleaning, sorting out, repairing,

meaning conversations, walking in the forest,

feeling your emotions and......

listen to music, draw, dance,

do what makes you happy!

'A little piece of you'

 

November started,

the last month Pluto will be in Capricorn.

Pluto,

the planet of transformation,

the planet that 'only' wants love.....

Everything that is blocking this 

has to go away.

Do we see these leaders in the world

or.....

are we still struggling.

Do we believe 'everything has to go away'

or 

do we realise we can also keep the good from the past.

We learned from it

and move on in a better way....

I went to London with Loes, our daughter.

London for me is special. 

The last years I went often

and realised I can AND be helpful

AND take time for me.

This time we visited the Royal Palace.

A beautiful, calm place in the middle of London.

When you hear about all the terrible things 

that happened there you could say:

'we have to tear in down'......

Luckily they didn't.....

It shows us that the past has also beauty

we should keep and learn from 'the ugly parts'

We also saw a musical.

'A little piece of me'

We say the sign 

read that it was about a mother and daughter

and decided to go.

It turned out to be a musical,

written by a 17 year old young woman!

It play started in 2023, went back to 1998

and then to 1973.

Every time about a mother and daughter.

Only in 1998 it was the grandma and mother

and is 1973 the great grandma and grandma.

'Can you be YOU'.......

At the end you find out that the great grandma

committed suicide.......

This 'secret' was passed on to future generation

and stopped when the secret came out and

they could talk about it in the open..

Nice to see that boundaries -Saturn- came up also:

being You doesn't mean you don't have to do

the things you don't like but are necessary ;-)

It is 'easy' to talk about the world:

 'did we learn from the past'.

More challenging is:

did I learn from it?

How can you learn from it,

if you don't know it......

if there are secrets.....

Pluto doesn't like secret....

it likes 'the truth'....

How truthful are you?

How tough are you on yourself?

Let's decide to let go of expectation

that are not really yours,

but what you think others expect from you...

Let's decide to be unique, authentic

realising we all have a unique quality.

I am sure that the coming years

when Pluto moves in Aquarius

we all are building on this world of peace.

If not....

we most likely will need some cyber wars,

identity frauds

and AI challenges...

For sure Pluto will 'help' to make sure

the secrets will come out,

and Love will remain.... 

Your choice.......is it?!?

It is easy to talk about 'your choice'....

Is what you do today all your choice,

or is part of it the results of 'programming' in the past.....

I don't believe that we consciously choose to hurt people,

I believe we all want to live in peace,

we like to connect with others

and be there for others.

Be happy for their achievements,

and happy for your own.

How often do we make a choice because of this....

For me that is the only reason to have 'a war'......

I wrote about the Ho' Oponopono

and when using it,

I realised I wasn't really sorry.....

I said the words

only.....

I felt resentment towards the other person.....

When I realised this,

I also realised 

that I had resentment towards myself.......

Accepting this,

resentment changed into compassion

and......

'all of a sudden' I slept a lot better the nights after.....

Your choice/my choice....

If you don't deal with 'inner situations'

it is not your choice you are following,

you are following choices from the past....

Could it be that this is

 why it looks like we are now 

a 'world at war'?

Could it be that it is in our hand to change this....

one person at a time.......?

I am in a energy of letting go

and by this you find 'old stuff'.

20 years ago I made this

It was my wish and when I look at it now,

I realise it manifested already years ago....

This was on the back: 

'Long live Freedom,

Heaven on earth.'

This didn't manifest ...yet.

I am sure it will manifest as well.....

It takes a little bit more time....

a little bit more looking at 'inner situations'...

'In my dreams there is this image

of a beautiful angel.

She dances.

She comes to me in a loving way

with a outstretched hand.

Making sure,

I get the balance back in my life.

Dancing around me,

dancing towards me,

One for always.'

I hope and wish you choose to imagine your life

in the most beautiful way

and deal with your 'inner situations'

so you can make a conscious choice....

Your choice.

 

 

Letting go of 'the system/s'.......

 With a full blown war in Lebanon,

schools are 'worried' about education......

Just a few years ago with a 'full blown' Covid,

 schools were worried about education as well:

'will the students knowledge be on a certain level?!?'

What is going on......

do we still believe 'education' of the mind, 

programmed from an energy of the past,

is still most important?!?

Do we still believe we have to label kids so they can 'fit in' ?

Do we still believe that is what life is all about?!?

How come there are 'wars'......is it because of 'the mind'

or is it about emotions......anger, resentment, insecurity and....

 hurt and pain from the past.......

How many 'mirrors' do we need?!?

How many mirrors do I need.......

October 9th Jupiter will go retrograde......time to heal inside.....

How do you communicate with yourself.....

Is it in a nice, compassionate and impowering way

or in shame/blame and accusing way.....

Did people/the system let you believe something that wasn't true?

Did you- because of education-

forget who you really are:

Unique, authentic and 'powerful beyond measure? 

If you forgot.....start to remember....

make it your new mantra.

Not only for you, 

but also because you realise 

that by being YOU, 

you will be leading by example.

Be a roll model for all the people who need 

to see and experience

your unique quality.

You will not feel superior or inferior,

not feel threated by others....

You will Know that the other has also an unique quality

and.....

you will start listening, communicating and connecting

and together 'Be the change you choose to see in this world'

On Oct 12, 

Pluto will go forward again,

so we can use the power we gained inside of us.

Power, instead of powering over or manipulating.....

Nov 21,

 Pluto will leave Capricorn.

The systems that were outdated and needed to transform,

starting from 2008 are supposed to be transformed.....

Did they?

Capricorn likes to 'keep the old' and it can 'protest'.....

war......

The school system should be a system

to help children to be themselves.

Needs to help them to develop in the special human beings 

they already are inside.

They do that in a structure that is nurturing, loving

and is challenging their curiosity.

Do we have schools like this

and.....are governments -also a Capricorn system-

made changes so that children can excel/shine?

Most important: do they make sure they feel save and secure,

emotional safe and secure...

There is not a 'war' going on in Holland,

only in the school system there is....

For some there is no place.....they can not 'deal'

with certain children.....

The  school is for me 'an extension' of  parents...

an other system.....

How is that system working.....

are there still 'outdated programs' ?

We were in the war in Saudi

and I was teaching then.

Our kids were emotional 'ok'.

We talked about it, made a safe space

because we made sure we were in an emotional safe place.

Was the education at that moment important?

No........

I Knew and still believe,

that everything that is in a child 

will come out

if you give it an emotional safe environment.

I also know that you need to be in balance

as a parent to do that.....

Before this war, 

I was already in 'another war' -my cancer-

so it helped me to deal with this war....

Is school important?

Yes it is, only.....

in a time of  war/epidemic

it is not.......

Life is showing/mirroring that something else is important:

to Be there for each other,

to Feel......to Let go and.....be grateful.

You are in 'a school' that teaches you how to deal with life:

the emotional challenges,

how to be patient, to be brave,

how to deal with fear, to develop to be courageous,

to grow and heal and be grateful in between turmoil.

How is it after the Covid?

Is the biggest challenge the level of education

or is the biggest challenge the emotional state of children/teenagers....?

What did/do we learn or ....

do we need more challenges to learn and heal....

How is it in your 'family system'....

Do you use this time to heal and stop the karma

or......do you develop more......

More because you follow an 'outdated system'......

It can be because you are in an actually war,

it can also be because you are in a relational war....

How do people treat you in your family

and how do you treat them. 

Are they/or you still following 'old outdated traditions'

that 'forget' emotions......

How is it with your work?

Do you have a 'new leader' or an 'old boss'......

Do you live to work, or work to live......

and.....are you happy with it

or are you living an 'outdated family system'....

I know a powerful new leader who got fired 

because of 'this old system'......

and people who are almost in a burn out because of this old system.....

They will leaders by example the coming time.....

What do you choose?

A system can give you security and that is good,

only....is it a real security or a false one......

If it is a  security based on fear, 

then you know.....it is a false one.....

Take time to look inside.

Choose to be courageous

be patient, 

be compassionate,

take one step at a time.....

BE the one you choose to be...

Be the light,

Be unconditional love.

Be YOU,

there is no one else

and that is good.

Be YOU

and Know

you don't have to do it alone.

There are more people like you:

unique, courageous and compassionate.

We can start building a new system.

A system that looks at people first.

Ho 'Oponopono

 This Hawaiian prayer/healing method

is using the energy of 'we are all One'.

The other is mirroring us 

what we cannot see in ourselves ....yet.

By saying these sentences you acknowledge this.

It is very powerful and...

easy to do ....and not to do.....

Tomorrow there is a Solar eclipse.

The theme: 

-war and peace

-yourself and yourself in partnerships.

The Sun and the Moon in Libra....

a new moon, a new start....

Can we be self respected, independent

and solve conflicts

or do we choose to have 

'peace on the outside and war inside'....

This eclipse is in a tension energy with Mars,

a Mars that wants to defend the people 

who can not stand up for themselves,

a Mars that can forget 

that it has to take care of her/himself first.....

How many of you feel helpless at the moment...

and also anger and passion - Venus is in Scorpio-

What can you do?!?

There is a real war going on,

not only in the Ukraine,

but also in Lebanon.......

If you feel frustrated, powerless, angry 

you can choose to sent Reiki 

or do the Ho 'Oponopono....

By doing the Ho' Oponopono 

you are healing the part in you 

that the outside world is mirroring you....

Can you be yourself?

Can you be yourself in a relationship?

Did you make concessions?

Perhaps to many concessions, 

then this eclipse will 'help' you....

Most  likely you felt it the last months

and will feel it the coming months......

-an eclipse is not only working when it is exact....-

You can use the Ho 'oponopono in relationships as well...

Where in your life 

are you still 'afraid' to say what YOU feel....

Where in your life 

do you make compromises 

to have an harmonious life on the outside

and 'war' inside....

Five planets are retrograde and in a few weeks,

there will be seven: 

time to look inside......

time to re-visit, re-adjust, re-start.

Will we see diplomatic talks to stop the wars?

I hope so.

I am sure that in many relationships

this theme will come up as well:

is there a good balance in being yourself

and respecting the other.....

Knowing that sometimes 

you have to make concessions 

for the bigger goal.

Only......it always should be in balance,

meaning: good for the both of you.

 

A flower and a little field mouse.

 Sometimes you get a very special image on your path....

I walked past this bush....all but one flower was standing out.....

Standing out AND part of the bush.......

The energy we are in now and next year,

is letting go of the old and start something new.....

Like this flower: it needed the soil from the old plant to bloom...

Let's remember that our past can be fertile soil if you let it be,

or.....

you can put to much water on, and stay a victim....

I started this blog last week and....

I saw a same plant with also one purple one sticking out.....

What are the chances....

Everyone of us is a unique part of Cosmic energy.

How good do we know our own part?

I am close to my Solar return

and for me it is the time to look back.

With the second bush with one fresh flower

and finding a little mouse 

in the swimming pool were I was swimming,

it was time to find out what it meant to me....

It was a hectic emotional year for me.

As with the flower, I choose to be me 

AND....also realise that I am part of my past.

In our thinking world, 

emotions are easy to put in our cell memory....

In our youth most of us had to 'behave' meaning:

'don't make waves', 'make your parents proud'.

How is it in our adult life?

Are we still afraid to make waves?

Are we still thinking of making the people/the world 

around us proud and forget 

that we 'only' should make ourselves proud.

We can stop proving......we already ARE....

This last year I got 'help' to let go of the cell memory that was outdated....

Emotions that I 'parked' there to survive when I was younger,

emotions from my 'wounded inner child',

emotions that helped me develop my talents.

Also emotions that blocked who I already am: 

Love......'just Me'.....

I got help in the most beautiful way and also challenging way:

our grandchildren. They are angels on my path.....

It is special to see them at the age, 

that was a challenging age for me as a child.

Old emotions from me were/are mixed with my own....

By mentioning this, 

I also say that I got other angels on my path before:

our children.....

They helped me and are still mirroring me to be ME again.

So does this mean that if you don't have children,

you don't get this opportunity?

No.....my clients, people on my path,

neighbours, situations in the world:

they all are there to help you.

Help you if you choose not only to look,

but also to see....

That little mouse in the swimming pool:

can I let go of fear?

Can I be ME or better:

do I remember that I have the choice

to uses my courage and power 

that is already in me.,,

Jaap got a half new knee,

our bathroom is renovated

and......

because of a routine I developed in the past years,

I could deal with it all and enjoy.

In my work I see many people going trough challenging time,

most of their challenging starting at a very young age.

Insecurity, afraid to be themselves, anger, frustration:

control is not working anymore and......trust is very challenging....

'Accepting'

'Being patient'

'Taking one day at a time'

'The other/the world is your mirror'

All easy to say.....not so easy to do.....

A good thing to remember....

Because of the challenges in my own life,

I developed my 'courage muscle'.

'It will get better,

I don't know how at the moment,

but in the past it became better,

so it will be again.....'just be patient'

In the beginning I had a few doubt,

only it became better.....

not always in the way I imagined,

but always in a way that was good.

Life is meant to be living,

is growing,

is healing,

is going back to who you already are:

Love,

living the life you choose,

remembering that you are born to live in abundance.

Can you choose for compassion......first with yourself?

 When a baby is born,

it is welcomed with love, patient and protection.

Parents are happy and will do everything to make sure it is safe and secure.

If it cries they pick it up, give lots of love

and......it 'just can Be'......

It can be unique, incomparable.

How long can a child be in this space.....

There whole childhood, or.....

.a few weeks, months, a year.....

Do we as adults Know we are unique, incomparable

or do we believe 

we have to proof something 

to hide our wounds....

Do we realise our inner child is speaking up

when we 'think' we can not be our unique self....

Do we realise our inner child is speaking up

when we react strongly emotional....

Do we realise our inner child is speaking up

when our body gives us signs........

With all the retrograde planets and Mercury still in it shadow,

there is no easy way out....

I thought I did a lot ......

I spoke up, looked at family patterns and.....felt so much better

and then.....

-most likely because I am ready to go a layer deeper again ;-)-

I am challenged again.

Luckily I was prepared, organised and still......

I am asked to speak up a bit more

and this time my arms got an allergic reaction:

red, itchy, swollen.......

-arms are connected with communication-

Mars is involved  -red, itchy-: 

am I still holding on to old patterns?

Is it still more safe to speak up 'a bit' than to be totally honest?

Am I afraid to hurt the other because I feel the hurt inner child

AND

am I afraid to set boundaries.... am I worth it?!?

'The person you are asking about is trustworthy'......

A daily cart I got many, many times and.....

it took a while to realise that it was not about someone else.....

it was about ME.....

Do you believe you are trustworthy or.....

do you look at other people's reaction

and that is how you feel you are.......

Look at small children....

they 'just Are': 

happy, trusting, exploring...

They 'only' need an adult to make sure he/she is safe....

physically and emotionally.

Were you safe when you were small,

did you feel safe or.......

were you a feeling person in a thinking environment

and didn't know how to deal with it.....

finding ways to 'survive'...

What about parents in Lebanon, Israel, Palestine, Ukraine and Russia....

They were in a war before and have the chance to heal and let the trauma go,

or..... react from their pain.

What about the children who live there: 

will they feel safe and secure or do they have 'to fight' when they are teenagers

because there is still so much anger, so much insecurity inside.

Can we communicate and be open or....not.....

Uranus went retrograde and will stay there till January.

Pluto went back in Capricorn, till mid November.

Where in your life are you not free yet....

Were do you want to keep the old even if it is not good for you anymore.

What is society letting you believe,

What does social media let you believe

AND

What do you choose....

Love or fear,

Abundance or lack,

Being authentic/you and trust that you are part of society,

or do you conform because of lack of self-worth.

Can you accept and go on,

or do you want to control.......

Sometimes my 'heart breaks' and

I Know every one of us has to go through there one issues.

I choose to be compassionate.....

Not only with others,

also with myself.....