Monday 25 May 2020

Social distancing.....fear and grief, part 5

It is almost the end of May.
A month with less freedom
then we were used to.
also a month that nature is on its best,
probably better then it was before.

Some country's got already more freedom,
and are in lockdown again.
Others, like Holland
are opening up June 1st....
Interesting times.
Can we deal with more freedom?

Let's look at the emotions and the coronavirus.

The coronavirus is effecting the longs.
Longs have to do with grief....
How do we deal with grief as society?
How do You deal with grief?
How do you deal with other people
dealing with grief, with crying?

I realised that a lot of people feel they
'shouldn't cry' anymore
after a certain amount of time
when dealing with a loss.
'Then they think I am a victim' or
'they don't want to talk to me anymore' or
'I should be strong'....
How come we feel shame and/or guilt
when we show emotions….

How many children are allowed to be sad,
to grief after a divorce,
after an end of a friendship,
loosing a stuffed animal
or a real one.
After moving house,
lose a grandparent of sister/brother.
These days you expect that this is
allowed more then it was in the past,
but still….

Most of the time
we 'have to go on'
as if grieving has a set time.....
As adults most of us
are dealing with this
in a way we learned as a child,
our inner-child takes over.

Pluto is about fear,
Saturn about institutions, shame and guilt
Jupiter about exaggeration, growing
Venus about connection, love.....
All these planets are retrograde,
helping us to heal.
Freedom to be who we are
connected with each other….

How afraid are we?
Afraid to lose people,
to be alone….
to lose connection….
Can we grief AND feel connection.
Can we grief AND go on in life....

While working in the garden,
we saw the white grub again…..
Apparently they eat the roots of the grass.
We didn't know and.....
our grass was not that bad -as I saw it-
but Jaap thought it was not ok,
so we looked into this.

We choose to use nematodes,
a natural way
to 'get rid' of them.
And I also looked at my own 'roots'. 
What is eating at my/our own roots!
Can we deal with it in a natural way?
….or do we believe it is not possible….

This 'prison' is Saturn…..
you 'think' you can not be responsible
someone else has to do it for you,
because 'they know better'....

When I talked about the grass and the white grub,
someone said:
'we had them as well, however
when we watered the grass,
it stayed beautiful'...

We all have things in the past,
that were challenging…..
it made us the way we are now.
These 'things' will not go away,
and they shouldn't….
they can be 'fertile soil'
if we choose to deal with them:
like watering grass,
crying is helping....

Realise you have the power to heal your roots,
you can use the tools you know 
like Reiki or tapping,
or you can ask others to help you.

-I posted a picture of my self last time with a lounger
and wondered if I had to take more time to relax....
my body let me know that was the case -

Water and emotions are connected.
when you realise you didn't drink enough water,
you also realise you are not dealing with emotions…. 

Feel the emotions.....
they are real....
accept them,
don't hide them:
if you do,
they will come up
most of the time in an unexpected way...

Let's start being grateful,
everyday a little more.....

When you grief,
being grateful can be a challenge.
Start with 'little things:
be grateful that you can breath,
see or....
that the day is over and you can go to sleep.

Make a new routine....
be grateful everyday...
It helps to turn grief into fertile soil
till it is ready to grow something new....

Just today I saw an article
from a professor at an university in Twente.
'Being grateful makes happier,
people who are grateful have less psychological complaints.'

Can you be grateful AND grief?
it took a while.
For me being grateful was easier
then to grief....

How is it with the children now,
are they allowed to grief AND being grateful?
Grief for missing friends
and grateful for adult to make sure 
they live in a safe environment.

How will it be
being in school again?
Are they afraid to mingle 
because of fear,
about what they hear and feel from others,
are they emotional stabile,
not feeling rejected….
being grateful,
that they can be kids
and adult will take care of the 'adult things'.

don't underestimate fear...
Some people are afraid of being sick,
others are afraid of the rules of the gouvernement.
Both are about fear instead of trust....

For sure we don't know all what is going on...
We are in it together…..

I am grateful:
Nature had time to heal,
Family's realized what is most important.
Teachers and nurses got the respect they should have.
We all realise that we are not in control of all,
but could be more in control of our health.
I also feel
that it is time 
to see how we can connect and
make our world bigger again.

being grateful.

Social distancing…..
taking a step back,
to realise what is important
connecting again.

Freedom and rules/boundaries….
Can we find balance?

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