Grappenhaus and Irish coffee....

 

For people who read this and don't know 'Grappenhaus':

he is the Dutch minister of Safety and Justice.

He got married last week.

 Paparazzi took pictures and....

he didn't follow the 1 1/2 meter rule....

This brought a lot of emotions too a lot of people,

also from me. 

I was on the defending site and a lot of people

on the blaming site.....

I think mr. Grappenhaus works hard,

is reliable and.....

a human being, not a god...

And....

when I could distance myself from the situation,

I realised, 

I didn't react in a calm way.....

I reacted in an emotional way.

What was going on?!?

I like to live as healthy as possible

and....

I drink Irish coffee....

That is something that is not really healthy

and....it is special for me.

A part of me thinks I should stop drinking this

and.....that part feels guilty, shame..

-I know when this started, so I can understand why

but still......-

Am I know an unreliable person?

Someone who doesn't do her work in the best possible way?

Probably a part of me 'thinks' that.....

A part that is mirroring 

the guilt and shame in me,

the part that let's me know

'you are still not the best you can be

and.....you should!'

It's the part that doesn't realise we are all one,

doing the best we can.

It's the old part, the old emotions

from a child a teenager.

It's the part 

that believe it is not exactly good as it should be:

parent, teachers, church, society

let them believe they 'should' be different....

should be 'perfect'...

-whatever that should be...-

As I wrote before: 

we went visiting vulnerable people

in this corona time....

We didn't always follow all the roles...

however.....

we were responsible:

we were healthy,

took our distance most of the time,

but not always.....

Yesterday one of these people died,

not because of corona,

but because of old age....

I am so happy we didn't follow all the rules,

because the smile on his face

and even the last hug 

will stay with me for ever....

AND.....

it makes me realise that

you can do both:

follow the rules and be responsible.

As an adult you can do this....

as a child/teenager this is challenging...

I wonder how many people 

who are blaming mr. Grappenhaus,

didn't follow the rules all the time but....

didn't have paparazzi at them and

'got away with it'......

I am not sure it is the same with the government in Lebanon:

the elections are not really fair,

there is corruption,

and most people don't see that things go better.....

Will people stand up and speak from determination

and will the followers do the same?

I hope so, 

than I am sure there will be a positive change as well.

In Holland corona is 'stable'

less people in the hospitals,

less on the IC

even if there a still 

lots of people getting infected.

The washing hands, taking distance

made sure there are less other illnesses.

In just heard the other day that pharmacy's

in Germany have medicine that are on here expire date

because less people get sick....

Isn't that great!

We have more freedom

and the government asks 'responsibility'...

I hope it will not take too long

that we can come together with lots of people again.

I am sure it will be in the next year.

-I know it sounds long and.....

I realise that we perhaps need more patience....

also with ourselves...-

Saturn will go in Aquarius next month:

can you let go of your 'own strict rules'

about yourself,

can you be patient

and KNOW you did the best you can

and will do better

the more you Know?

Of is there still a lot of shame and guilt...

as if you are not good enough....

that you expect from yourself to be 'God'

instead of realising you are 'just' Human....

I wish we all can let go of these old patterns,

so when Saturn goes into Aquarius

we will remember that we are a community,

and that this community

is as strong as every individual. 

That we are all human

instead of Gods.

Humans die...

that is part of life.

Can we accept this

and celebrate life.

As human we can make 'mistakes'.....

mistakes that helps us grow,

that is the way we 'learn'.

Can we change the guilt and shame

into responsibility....

The fines for people 

who didn't follow the 1 1/2 meter

will be probably less

because of what mr. Grappenhaus did.

Probably this is ok. 

Those who got fined will take responsibility next time...

-I hope, I assume....-

and let go of guild and shame.

I hope mr Grappenhaus can do the same,

and will remember a great wedding day

and let guild and shame go....

So what about the Irish coffee.....

I am not sure yet....

do I really like it,

or is it that I take it 

because it remember me at a time

that I was so strict and this was the only treat I took......

Am I still so strict 

and

can I let go...

We'll see......it is a path and

'I choose to be nice to myself'......

This is a picture from a few years ago,

our hands together in the water...

Don't we all have to go through emotions first

to REALLY connect.....?

And.....

do we want to go through these emotions,

or.....

do we choose to walk away from them..

Do we realise that by doing so, 

we also walk away 

from a society we imagine

we desire....