it was a Saturday.
I don't really know what happened during the day,
only that my brother had a playdate with a neighbour boy.
At the end of day it was busy:
we had to prepare for church,
my mom was busy with the little ones
-my youngest brother was just 3 weeks-
and al of a sudden she shouted:
'Berndien, Huub is still at the neighbours house,
will you get him?'
It was almost 7.00 and 'Barend de Beer'
was on t.v:
the last thing to watch
for the youngest ones
before going to bed.
I had to hurry, and my sister
wanted to go with me so
I took her.
Ten minutes later the world changed....forever....
....and trauma starts...
I am sure all of you had similar situations in your life,
something so tragic happens,
that you live to survive,
protect yourself in the only way you know how.
Patterns and habits are formed till
your inner consciousness 'decides'
it's time to deal with the hurt
and let light in.
This awakening isn't always as nice
as this picture makes it look ....
Sometimes another loss, a near death,
an illness or 'a blast' -Beirut- or 'a viris'- Covid 19
Do we look at our shadow
or are we projecting....
Do we remember 'the secret' and do we attract what we want,
or do we attract what we don't want...
Talking about 'no masks' and 'the virus'
instead of inner freedom
and responsibility for ourselves
and each other.
Will 2020 be the year of the virus and the blast,
or the year of transformation,
the time we looked in the mirror,
realising family is important,
realising we are all One,
realising nature is great and powerful
and we are part of nature.
I am sure it will be AND the year of the blast and the virus
AND the year of realising we, as society, needed a change.
Probably it is
as with my trauma of 52 years ago:
I needed time to deal with it,
I was just a child of 10.....
Luckily a lot us are adults now,
we can react as an adult and deal
with our hurts in an adult way.
It is different for people who were ill,
lost loved ones, their jobs,
homes or business,
for them it takes more time.
I hope they Know they are not alone,
I hope instead of projecting
they are looking inside
and take time to heal.
We are all a big family
living in a big house, mother earth
If I look back at 52 years ago,
I realise I needed almost 30 year to start dealing with
the car accident that killed my brother.
Before that I blamed myself,
projecting this to the outside world:
what ever happened to me
I deserved .....I thought.....
Now I Know,
we deserve abundance,
that is our birthright.
I also Know that
attracting has to do with energy,
our own energy....
If we as community want change,
and we want it very much,
then the energy will help us to get it....
the only way it can come to us,
if the blockages are gone
who prevent us from attracting:
our energy has to change...
It is as if you want to go to the other side of the building
and there are all kinds of furniture and boxes in your way....
Do you really want to go to the other side building?
Is there something you Really want?
Do you want to use effort and time to clear your way
or......is staying were you are easier.....
do you prefer to complain
or do you choose to take action and effort....
If you take the effort to be the best you can be,
you are of service for all of us....
I choose to wake up
and realise that I still hesitate some times
the difference know is that
and I don't punish myself anymore
....not all parts are fully awaken yet ;-)
The more I let go of guild and shame,
the less I judge.....
Trauma and healing.....
it takes time....
Be good to yourself,
your worth it.