Trauma and healing.....be good to yourself.

52 years ago it was a normal day as all other day's,

it was a Saturday.

I don't really know what happened during the day,

only that my brother had a playdate with a neighbour boy.

At the end of day it was busy: 

we had to prepare for church,

my mom was busy with the little ones

-my youngest brother was just 3 weeks-

and al of a sudden she shouted:

'Berndien, Huub is still at the neighbours house,

will you get him?'

It was almost 7.00 and 'Barend de Beer'

was on t.v: 

the last thing to watch  

for the youngest ones 

before going to bed.

I had to hurry, and my sister

wanted to go with me so

I took her.

Ten minutes later the world changed....forever....

....and trauma starts...

I am sure all of you had similar situations in your life,

something so tragic happens,

that you live to survive,

protect yourself in the only way you know how.

Patterns and habits are formed till 

your inner consciousness 'decides' 

it's time to deal with the hurt 

and let light in.

This awakening isn't always as nice 

as this picture makes it look ....

Sometimes another loss, a near death,

an illness or 'a blast' -Beirut- or 'a viris'- Covid 19

is necessary.

Do we look at our shadow

or are we projecting....

Do we remember 'the secret' and do we attract what we want,

or do we attract what we don't want...

Talking about 'no masks'  and 'the virus'

instead of inner freedom 

and responsibility for ourselves

and each other.

Will 2020 be the year of the virus and the blast,

or the year of transformation,

the time we looked in the mirror,

realising family is important,

realising we are all One, 

realising nature is great and powerful

and we are part of nature.

I am sure it will be AND the year of the blast and the virus

AND the year of realising we, as society, needed a change.

Probably it is 

as with my trauma of 52 years ago:

I needed time to deal with it,

I was just a child of 10.....

Luckily a lot us are adults now,

we can react as an adult and deal

with our hurts in an adult way.

It is different for people who were ill, 

lost loved ones, their jobs, 

homes or business,

for them it takes more time.

I hope they Know they are not alone,

I hope instead of projecting 

they are looking inside

and take time to heal.

We are all a big family

living in a big house, mother earth

If I look back at 52 years ago,

I realise I needed almost 30 year to start dealing with

the car accident that killed my brother.

Before that I blamed myself, 

projecting this to the outside world:

what ever happened to me 

I deserved .....I thought.....

Now I Know,

we deserve abundance,

that is our birthright.

I also Know that

attracting has to do with energy,

our own energy....

If we as community want change,

and we want it very much,

then the energy will help us to get it....

AND

the only way it can come to us,

if the blockages are gone 

who prevent us from attracting:

our energy has to change...

It is as if you want to go to the other side of the building

and there are all kinds of furniture and boxes in your way....

Do you really want to go to the other side building?

Is there something you Really want?

Do you want to use effort and time to clear your way

or......is staying were you are easier.....

do you prefer to complain

or do you choose to take action and effort....

If you take the effort to be the best you can be,

you are of service for all of us....

for society.

I choose to wake up

and realise that I still hesitate some times

the difference know is that

and I don't punish myself anymore

....not all parts are fully awaken yet ;-)

The more I let go of guild and shame,

the less I judge.....

Trauma and healing.....

it takes time....

Be good to yourself,

love yourself,

your worth it.