Trust.....it takes time....

 A new month and a reminder....

How big is our trust and how big is our control......

Do we have a mature ego or an immature one.....

Are we determent and patient

speak up and take time to change

or are we rebellious and destroy. 

First of all: we are not stuck!

We can change,

we can take little steps

and remind ourselves that we get as many chances

that we need to change..

I for sure need this and......have accepted it.

When I look back at challenging times, 

the year 1962 came up frequently.

I wrote about it in my blogs: 

my sister was born and she got red socks from my aunt.

'You can wear them till they fit her!'

I loved the socks and felt really bad when after

a while there was a little whole in it.

I know now that the socks were mine,

but then I took my a aunt literally.....

As if I couldn't believe I could get something so nice

just for myself.......as if I didn't deserve it....

I know now that this is different

and the cosmos showed me  many times

how generous it is and that 'I am worth it!'

This time, when I went back to 1962,

 I felt something different:

the tension in the room,

the tension from a lot of people......

What was going on?!?

All of a sudden I remember she was born with 'a growth'

behind her ears......

My mom thought it was ok,

but the doctor convinced her to let her go to the hospital:

'for a girl this is not ok'.

For people who had sessions with me,

know how I work: I check if there are similar situations

who are related to this situation,

that are blocked as well.

I found more.....

all about situations that I felt emotions,

but didn't know what to do about it,

because it was not in the open.

Emotions/tension from a group of people:

family/society.....

I gave it meaning.....only not always the right one.....

 We all are wounded....

and that is good to accept....

We all react sometimes in a way to cover up our wound....

Some do it by fighting,

some by hiding.

Some by getting ill,

others by wearing 'masks'.

Others by eating a lot,

others by eating nothing.

Some by always taking,

others by always giving.

We also have to realise that it is not only our wound,

but also the wound of the generation before us

we have to deal with......

Trust and control.......

I used a lot of ways to hide my wounds

and the wounds of my parents/society.

By choosing to deal with them,

I don't have to hide so much anymore.

However...... I still have my ways.

One of them is eating when I am not hungry

and at a strange time.

Sometimes I just accept

that it is what it is

and can I relate it to a situations.

It looked like this time I 'had to' look deeper

and had to look at 1962 one more time....

and at other situations after that,

relating to this.....

It seems I am ready to forgive and love myself a bit more,

it seems I am ready - and most likely I need-

to set more/better boundaries.

I like to be the moon in someone's darkest hour

AND

I also like to be the Sun.....

not only to lighten up someone's else life,

but to use it to enjoy my life even more.

To be the change I like to see in the world,

to light the way.

A path of challenges AND fun,

a path of healing AND joy,

a path of letting go of control AND growing trust,

a path of speaking up AND respecting each other.

There is still a war in Ukraine

in Holland there is a 'war' with the farmers,

in Lebanon with 'the gay community'

in America with 'old' judges.

How do we treat our body's,

how nature.....

Lot's of challenges,

lot's of wounds.

Also lot's of research, understanding,

and more awareness.

We need to shed some more layers

till we come at our essence:

Love and light.

Give yourself and each other the time

to heal and to trust again,

don't fall for a wounded reaction.....

have compassion for your own wounded reaction.....

and remember:

Life is to be lived and enjoyed!