Kindness....

Do you have the will to doubt,

realising you don't know it all and....

you don't have to.....

You 'only' have to know 

what is important for you.... 

Also remember 

that you can ask for help.

When you listen to the answer,

make sure your mind is open,

so you can hear the answer....

How is your body?

Do you listen to it?

Especially now in this pandemic?

What signs does it give you?

Do you develop 'corona kilo's' ?

Do you feel fear,

feel guilty

feel restless,

anxiety

or do you doubt yourself?

If you do,

you Know 

you need to ground yourself a bit more:

it doesn't mean your aren't grounded....

just not 100% ...yet.

Negative thoughts, 

expecting something from yourself

that you think others expect from you,

gives you stress.

Stress effects your body and soul....

If you feel energised and happy

even though there are challenges,

you Know you are doing 

something that is good for you...

It sounds so easy,

'just' think happy thoughts.

I am sure all of you would do it all the time

if it was that easy.

How come these negative thoughts come up so often?

For me, the only reason they do,

is to realise we have them,

so we can deal with them.

Realising we got them in a time

when there wasn't enough love,

love we can give to ourselves now 

so these thought can go

and be replaced by positive ones.

In the past 

they must have been so good for us

or else we never would have kept them.

They helped us to work hard,

to proof ourselves,

to make sure others would love us....

How persistent these thoughts can be....

I still catch myself putting myself down and

blaming myself....

The big difference from years ago 

is that I 'catch' these thoughts earlier

and choose to change them.

Before 

I didn't even realise these thoughts....

We are in the after shadow of Mercury retrograde:

did you caught 

negative thoughts the last month?

I wish and hope you did and.....

I hope you can decide to let them go.

I did.....

A part of me still believed 

that I could deliberately hurt 

people by my actions....

How did I know?

I got mirrors, 

was projecting,

felt guilty,

started defended myself and....

stopped.....

I took time to feel,

found old letters

with important messages

and realised an old pattern.....

Selflove needs time to grow...

The 10 lessons for kids,

are the lessons for adults as well,

lessons for us all....

If we want to instill it in our kids,

our young adults,

we first have to show them ourselves

and

not only talk about them....

I appreciate prime ministers, presidents,

kings, managers if they show this....

For me it shows power,

it shows grounding.

I appreciate people who take time to 

re-juvenate, re-charge and re-balance.

Take time for themselves and their family.

Those people take their job seriously:

they make sure they have enough energy

to be the best they can be for others.

So moms, dads:

take your time to re-juvenate,

re-charge and re-balance,

so you can be the best parents you can be.

You are more important 

than you realise....

And what about you?

Do you take care of your body?

How do you do it and.....

could you do something different to make it even better?

Do you make sure you balance the news you read and see,

and take time to think for yourself?

Do you make time to connect with people,

if not by meeting them in person,

but by phone or video?

Do you treat yourself as you would treat others?

With care and compassion,

with love and understanding?

If you do,

then you are 'ascending'....

you are working 

with this Saturn/Uranus square,

and help building a new society.

For me it means:

keep on walking,

being thankful,

saying sorry,

being helpful,

distance myself from all kind of opinions,

eat healthy,

buy flowers

and.....

accepting what is and

enjoying life.

Human kind....a hopeful history part 3.

 

I looked at a documentary 

about the Mexican flue from 2009

and thought about the 

'people with power act sometimes as people with brain damage:

they don't have the ability to mirror anymore.....' 

from the book 'Human kind' a hopeful history.

In 2009 governments were preparing for a pandemic,

they ordered lot's of vaccines to make sure

they could deal with it.

In the end the Mexican flue was not as bad as they thought

and......a lot of vaccines were bought and not used.....

People blamed ministers and blamed government:

'they' did a bad job, should have known better....

Now governments are blamed 

because there are not enough vaccines,

that the rules are not strict enough or to strict.

This time there IS a pandemic

and

-while looking at that documentary-

I realised that perhaps

we all have signs of 'brain damage'

if we loose the ability to mirror.....

In 2009 people were blamed for doing

what in 2021 would be good.....

Do I understand all the regulations?

No.....AND.....

I realise I can't.....

because I am not standing in their shoes...

I don't know all they know.....

I hope and trust

that they still have the ability to stand in our shoes....

In the book 'a promised land' from Barack Obama

he writes about his first trip to the G20

when he was president.

Michelle Obama went with him.

He talks about the 'diplomatic' ways

of getting a deal 

and about media

who don't know what is going on,

but still like to form opinions and

let people believe something.....

even if it is not true....

TRUST....

He also talks about the challenges for Michelle,

and.....that she kept doing  what she thought was right.

She went to a school,

 talked about her child hood

and kept in contact with some of those students.

That talk made a huge difference:

those kids were more motivated to do good,

to develop themselves.....

Grades went up:

they saw and heard what was possible

'even for them'.....

They were intrinsic motivated by her words.

The Pymalion effect:

If people believe in you,

you do better,

you will be intrinsic motivated.

Lot's of research show 

that if children hear they are great,

they will do great, 

even if those children are tested with a low IQ.

There is also an opposite: 

the Golem effect.

They let children believe 

they were stutterers even when they weren't:

they had to stop the research, 

because these kids had their whole life stutter problems...

In an other study they made two groups:

one group was told to be 'the smart ones',

the others 'the not so smart ones'.

They let the smart kids believe they were not,

and the not so smart ones believe they were... 

In the end,

the not so smart ones 

turned out to be the smart ones...

and the smart ones had a new believe:

they were not smart.....

What is our focus?

How do YOU see the world?

How do you treat people,

do you believe that everyone is doing their best

to be the best and use the Pygmalion effect

or do you believe that everyone is here

to make your life miserable....the Golem effect..

I kept the 'dead' Amaryllis....

I gave it time,

believed, trusted

and......

it made me proud :-)

What do you believe?

Did you know 

that the Astrological chart of Charly Chaplin

is almost the same as the one of Adolf Hitler?

Realise we have a free will,

a choice to raise our consciousness

a choice to heal our wounds

a choice to be the change we want to see in the world....

Human kind.....a hopeful history part 2

 In Holland there was a court case against the curfew.

They 'won'.....the curfew had to stop.....

The state appealed and now a hearing will be in a few days.

It will be interesting what will happen.

The same day there was a press conference 

from the prime minister and the minister of health

with children....

And I finished reading the book 

'Human kind, a hopeful history'

There is a part about people with power....

People of power act sometimes the same way

as people with brain damage:

they loose the ability to mirror,

something that is part of human beings, 

of who we are....

People who are insecure 

are easy manipulated. 

Leaders become leaders because they are loved,

people trust them and vote for them.

What happen after then, 

depends

-as I see it-

if they dealt with their own insecurity or not....

It can be seen by their behaviour.

Can they mirror or can't they....

are they projecting and being emotional

or are they compassionate.

Do they want 'to win'.....

and by that they loose

or can they see 'the other side'

and find a way that is good for all....

A mature of immature ego.

Intrinsic motivated people will do what is needed

and feel good about it for themselves.

They are not motivated by money,

or outside praise.

They trust....even if others don't -

They do what they love to do and by that

live a happy life and attract exactly what they need. 

In Holland their is a man who started 'buurtzorg'.

He didn't like the way the care-system worked:

to much admin, to many managers and

not enough time for the professionals

to help the people who need the care.

Now there are groups of 5/7 district nurses

who work together, without a manager.

They make sure the people who need the care

will get it in the best way and....if they need 

help they can ask, but most of the time

they solve it themselves.

Their salary is higher, the care is better.

This man-Jos de Blok- trusted and believed.

He showed by the success of this 

that he was right:

in all of us there is a leader

who likes to work to together

for a bigger goal.

In France you have the same with a factory:

The director gave the power back to the workers

and.....they worked it out together

and became successful.

If people do what they love,

they don't need 'a boss' to tell them what to do,

they will take responsibility.

Is this possible for our society as well?

How is it with children?

How do we treat them?

Do we believe they are powerful as well?

Do we trust that they have leaders quality's?

How is this shown in the education system?

Often we say to children 

'I am so proud of you!'

and that sounds great only.....

it could let them believe

that THAT is important:

that others are proud of you....

and instead of intrinsic motivated,

they will be eccentric motivated.....

They can let believe that they

have to do, what others want them to do.....

How would it be 

if we change this and say:

'You must be so proud of your self'.....

Could it be that they would be 

more intrinsic motivated

and follow their dreams

instead of what people are expecting of them.

Do we as parents/society 

still believe we know best.....

I hear people talking about 'lost years' because of the corona,

couldn't it be that this is just what they need?

Could it be that this will be the change:

young people will be the leaders of tomorrow.....

When people

looked at successful resistance movement since 1900,

they found that peaceful ones had a success rate of 50%

and the violent ones 26%...

Self-control was the most important difference in both....

Nelson Mandela is a great example:

he invested in people,

looked them in the eye,

could understand the other side

and show them his side....

Can we be the people who

are part of a peaceful movement,

a successful one,

that help change the world.

Can we be the people 

who see each others leadership,

each others strength

and look each other in the eye,

Knowing we all do the best we can

till we know different

and then we do different.

Just don't quit.....

Human kind.....a hopeful history....

 Last year someone talked about a book that I should read

and.....I didn't....

It felt like a good book and I talked about it with others

but....didn't read it......

And then I got it as a present with Christmas :-)

and.....still didn't read it.....

Yesterday I started and I can't stop reading....

It is translated in English:

'Human kind' A hopeful History.

An amazing book that shows that a lot of research data

is not right......

'Fake news' is nothing new and.....

some people still like to 'proof' 

that people are 'bad' deep down,

but they aren't.....

Still....lot of study books 

talk about all these research 

claiming as being true.....

Books that are still being read 

in university's and colleges 

as 'being true'.....

I even talked about a test

-the Standard prison experiment from Stanley Milgram-

in one of my blogs a few years ago....

believing it to be true,

although I couldn't understand

that it was true.....

apparently it wasn't......

People are social beings, 

they will take care of each other,

they will find way's to deal with disasters,

to help each other....

How can we as group 

be manipulated to think different,

believe that it is 'them against us'?

Only if people in power are not honest,

if scientist are not honest,

If teachers, the media 

are not honest....

And if you come closer to home:

if 'parents'/caretakers are not honest......

They can let us believe 

that we are not good enough,

don't have the power.....

Why are people fighting wars?

Is it because of ideology,

of patriotism?

Research show now, it is not that,

it is because  

of camaraderie,

of feeling that you belong.

When I read that, 

I had to think off my dad:

he had to go to Indie as a soldier

and till his dead he kept in contact with 

his fellow soldiers, friends......

About the leaders of war he said:

'let them go in the boxing ring and 

fight without taking others into the conflict...'

And I was thinking about the corona crisis.

We are all in it together,

we have rules, restrictions 

and......

we follow the rules...

because 'we want to help each other'...

Only.....it it the truth.....

Are all the rules for the best,

or are we being manipulated....

do we get all the right information......

Can we trust our leaders

and....

most important:

can we trust ourselves....

Do we trust that we are all decent deep down,

that we are connected,

and want to take care of each other......

Or....

do we still have un-dealt issues with leadership

and can we easily be manipulated....

do we forget that we have a choice now... 

The square Saturn/Uranus will 'help' us deal with it....

Feeling fear 

or the feeling of being a victim will not help.

The mind can be the jailer

or the liberator.....

This book helped me to liberate....

I really believe that all people are good

....deep down....

sometimes you don't see it, only

that is because there is hurt....

unsolved issues.....

It is not my job to safe them,

it would make me a victim.....

It is my job to stay compassionate,

firm and loving.

It's my job to remember

who I am:

It's my job to remember

that we all want the best for each other,

that we are all One....

It is also my job to set boundaries,

to love myself,

enjoy life,

be thankful for my mirrors

and Know that it will all be ok in the end.

How special that this book was written in this time....

Probably now the time was right...

Snow, ice.....a 'perfect' society.....

Trust......

you see boots, shoes, bags,

all unattended and......

no one is touching them....

No Carnival celebration because of Corona, 

but still the spirit of Carnival.....

Young and old people all together,

some on skates,

some walking,

other on a sledge,

some with ice hockey sticks.

Others with their dogs.

All respecting each other,

helping each other and.....

enjoying the time.

People are friendly,

accepting that not every one is the same,

being aware of each other....

A 'perfect' society.....

All because of  snow and ice.....

This week we have the first 

of 3 squares of Saturn and Uranus.

Looking at all the people on the ice,

I saw how it could be:

Being responsible -Saturn- and because of that

enjoying the ice and snow:

all together having fun in our unique way.

There will be three squares...

we get the time...

If you look at your life,

what is most challenging for you?

Is it the responsibility, the setting boundaries,

being patient with yourself

or.....

is it the responsibility you feel for others,

the thoughts you have 

of having to do more, work harder?

Is your challenge to trust....

trust that it will be ok,

that others will see you,

not forget about you...

Is your challenge that you are not sure

you are unique,

just like all the other people are unique...

AND

that we are all connected

and don't have to compete to enjoy life.....

These pictures on Valentines day,

the weekend of Carnival.......

let's remember them the coming time....

For me

the Amaryllis is a mirror:

that 'dead' bulb is growing more and more.

It is blooming so much later than it should....

as if there is a best time to bloom:

there isn't.....

I have lot's of patience with others....

not so much with me .....yet....

Probably it is time to 'Just Be'......

and practice 'trusting' :-)

What healing looks like.....

 Isn't this our wish?

'Just' sitting and relaxing,

meditating and......

as by a miracle we will be healed.....

To bad, or perhaps just good,

it doesn't work that way.

It is a bit more complicated

and it is even more complicated 

if you don't deal with it.....

Most likely 

most of you will feel an emotional reaction to this:

feel it......

Is it one of quilt and shame,

one of anger and projection

or one of compassion and accepting?

Realising there is not competition,

we all have our own path....

Can you focus on yourself

and being grateful for YOUR path,

or do you compare yourself to others

and by that, 

neglecting your own growth

your own healing.

We are all unique

and that makes the world so interesting.

It makes sure there is enough for everyone,

because we don't all want the same.

Not the same profession, 

not the same partner,

not the same hobby's,

not the same house,

not the same holiday's.

Or didn't we heal enough......

did we forget what makes US happy

and do we want what media/society 

tells us/let us believe

what should make us happy...

Do we still feel that at a certain age

we all should do certain 'things'.....?

I started my working life at an early age,

and had to learn later on

that fun was part of life as well....

Was this wrong?

No....for me it was my way....

I needed 3 exams to get my driving license.

Was this wrong?

No....I am sure some needed less,

and some needed more time and.....

it doesn't mean one is better or worse at driving...

Focus on what makes you happy,

take small steps.....

it brings you far and...

if you celebrate each step,

you have so much more to celebrate,

so much more times to focus on being grateful,

less stress and

so much more focus 

on a strong immune system....

Snow.......something you can see....

While walking in the snow,

I saw a young man with a wheelbarrow of snow,

I realised that he was cleaning a big plot on a business park

and .....it was huge...

'Wauw, that is a lot more than we have to do at home!'

He smiled and said:

'It's a lot less than they have to do in Siberia!

Have a nice day!'

Isn't it special that we all accept

the challenges of snow.

We slow down,

appreciate each other

and even if we don't like it to much,

we Know deep down,

being 'against it' doesn't help......

Is it easier to accept situations in our life

that we can see 

than situations that we can not see.....?

The coronavirus is also very disruptive

and instead of accepting,

a lot of people are 'fighting against' it....

Is this because we can 'not see' it?

We only can see 'the results' of it?

'What do you think is the biggest waste of time?'

'Comparing yourself with others'

Could it be that most of us as young children,

felt that not all was ok,

but we couldn't see it.....

We felt something was not done from love,

but looked like love....

not realising that our parents/caretakers

did the best they could,

but had their own issues as well......

We were comparing in this dual world,

and 'forgot' our uniqueness....

We forgot the basis rule: 

we are Love.....

We didn't see it, 

like we do snow,

the result of it....we saw...

We still see it in society....

If there is love,

there is no competition.

If there is love,

you trust others.

If there is love,

you know there is always enough time.

If there is love,

you are relaxed.

What do you see around you?

What do you feel........?

In the beginning of the curfew in Holland,

young people where acting out,

and.....they will be 'punished'.

Some people think it should be in a tough way,

and I can understand that

they should be hold accountable,

only....

can we let them be accountable

AND also listen to them

find out

why.....they act as they do.....

so it can change.....

'What would love do?'

How come there is so much 'fake news'....

Is it because we are 'used' to 'fake'

perhaps a part in us is fake......?

A part in us we can not see,

but feel....

Are we taking responsibility

or do we repeat what happened to us....

Living a life that looks good

but it isn't how we feel inside....

The challenges of the snow

will not go away in a few days....

in between you can choose to enjoy it

or being angry at it......

Your choice....

If you choose to enjoy it,

you also have to take responsibility

to be safe: 

shoveling snow,

driving slowly,

make sure the heating in your house can take it,

looking after people who can not go outside

and need help,

or make sure animals who need help, get it.

If you choose to be angry,

your immune system will feel it,

and will not be as good as it should be,

you will focus on all the 'bad things'

and....you will get more of it....

The snow will not go sooner than it is ready...

the only thing you can do,

is being patient.....

trust it will go away.....

This virus will go away,

just like the snow will....

Can you trust, 

just like with the snow,

live will get easier?

We need some patience

and can choose in the meantime

to focus on what we Can do,

focus 

on what we want....

-it will also boost our immune system

and that will most likely shorten the 

stay of the virus....-

Visualise and imagine....

What do you do now

to be more in balance,

be more at peace,

respect and treat 

yourself with compassion?

It seems that a lot of people 

had a same dream, an image

they were visualising:

a holiday's in the snow!

It will be manifesting in Holland this weekend....

There will be lot's of snow 

and it will be very cold.

It will most likely slow everyone down a bit more as well

and probably will make lot's of people very happy.

I am sure we get a change to let go of control

and accept.......

accept and find joy.

Most likely even the people who don't like the cold

will love looking at children 

in snowball fights or building snowman together.

Other people are talking about the thickness of the ice,

and talk about old times when people could

skate every year.

They talk about the 'Elfstedentocht',

a skaterace through eleven towns on ice:

would there be one this year?!?

This all is happening at the same time

as  we have the square of Saturn and Uranus:

This is effecting all of us,

and there will be challenges.

Challenges when you have to go outside,

when you need to travel.

You need to be patient,

you have to be careful,

and you also realise 

that we are in it together.....

In the snow and the ice,

we realise WE have to take care....

and we trust that others will do the same...

We have to be careful in traffic 

because it effects others.

Being compassionate for each other

because sometimes the road is to slippery

and 'it is out of your hand'.....

Sometimes you can only do as much as you can

to make the damage as small as possible...

Wouldn't it be great if choose

to react in a same way about the Covid 19....

Realising that we all do the best we can,

we make mistakes

because it is 'out of our hand' sometimes....

Let's choose to be responsible and compassionate....

What am I doing to be more in balance,

more in peace?

I walk everyday.....

These walks are also meditations....

old patterns come up.

I re-visited situations in my life

where I still blamed myself......

I stayed with this feeling 

and could see the bigger picture,

could understand, accept and let go.....

More compassionate with myself.

Because of that 

I feel more at peace with myself,

realising that it is more quiet inside of me.

-I also realise I eat less chocolate ;-)-

I realise that there is a still a part of me

that believes that 'doing' is what life is about....

so this lockdown helps me to go deeper.....

I still have some work to do ;-)

I also watch documentary's and

realise more and more how important

raising your consciousness is.

How important raising children is,

and the key is loving yourself. 

I bought a voucher from my hairstylist,

to use when it is possible again

I bought vouchers from the sauna

and gave them to Jaap:

so we can enjoy that together....

Let's imagine what we really want

and watch it manifesting.....

like the 'snow holiday' in Holland next week...

What do you imagine?

Life happens while you make other plans.....

 

When Barack Obama started as president,

there was a lot of resentment between the party's

and even though he wanted to work together,

it wasn't tolerated.

If people from the Republican party worked with him,

than this worked out as a 'career-suicide' for them,

it was not tolerated..

'I didn't want to believe that this was all our politics had to offer. I hadn't run simply to fan anger and allocate blame. I had run to rebuild the American people's trust -not just in the government but in one another. If we trusted one another, democracy worked. If we trusted one another, the social compact held, and we could solve big problems......'

'......the crisis had also made people more angry, more fearful, more convinced that the fix was in........how easy that anger could be channeled, how useful fear could be in advancing their cause.'

-from 'a promised land' Barack Obama-

All of us have a choice.....

We can not live in a world of peace,

if there is no peace in ourselves......

The lockdown is extended till March,

same as in lots of country's.

Do you trust the rules and regulations,

or don't you?

Do you fight or do you connect......

connect with yourself.....

I saw the movie 'Penguin bloom'

Penguin Bloom (2020) - IMD

A true story about a family of 5.

On there holiday in Thailand she get's an accident

and all of a sudden live is not what they had imagined.....

'Life happened while they made other plans....'

A magpie falls from a tree

and can not fly anymore.

It needs to be fed and....loved.

One of the kids is doing all of this.....

This magpie, Penguin,

helps turn their life around again.....

Acceptance, 

accepting help,

forgiveness and 

realising that you are more powerful than you realise.

Letting go of control and trust....

Let Mercury help you 

to let go of thoughts that are not the best for you.

Accept and choose what you CAN do.

Realise you are a soul with a human experience:

your soul Knows.....

In an interview David Bowie

talks about dead:

'I can not understand why people are afraid of dying.

It is the only thing we know for sure:

we all will die....

If you are afraid of dying,

you are not living

and life is to great,

to waist time by being afraid.....'

Did we learn from 2008,

are we ready to change,

did we heal enough,

or is there more healing necessary?

Do we choose to work together,

or do we need more work 

to build an healthy ego?

Do we realise that

'an eye for an eye makes the world blind'

Can we live by the '7 rules of life' 

I wish you all peace and happiness:

accept what you can not change

and change what you can and want to change.

Also the wisdom to know the difference between these two....

....isn't this the prayer to stop addiction,

letting go of the feeling of being a victim.....