Monday 1 February 2021 and fear

My amaryllis, 

which looked dead with Christmas

is starting go grow :-)

I didn't want to throw it out,

even though someone said 'it will not bloom'....

Isn't this a reminder to trust....

not to give up?

For me it is.

I hear people about a 'fear society'

and 'the media' is doing this

and 'it is a police-state'....

How come we want to control so much,

how come we don't trust.....

How come some of us trust and

some are attract fear.....

I read an article from the psychoanalyst Paul Verhaeghe

about trust and fear.

He writes that trust starts with us as a child:

a child cries to develop trust.....'will my parents come back'.

Some parents come straight away,

some don't....

The basic fear: the fear of abandonment.

Does this mean that it stops by this?

No.....a child gives lot's of chances to adults

and if it realises 

that they will have to wait sometimes,

but in the end 

the parents will come and take care of them,

they will still trust.

They just 'know' they have to be more patient.

The biggest fear of this period, 

after the fear of abandonment 

is the fear of not being enough......

Do we live from trust of do we live from fear.

Do we Know we are not that child anymore

and that we have the ability to change...

There is a coup in Myanmar......

a police state.

It looked like there was change

but behind the scenes the military ruled:

now it comes to the surface....

All over the world people protest.

Protests in country's were you can vote,

were you can choose

but people don't feel heard......

And it looks like it is a big group,


at least that is what we see in the media.....

How does if effect you?

If I look around me

I see people taking care of each other.

I see that older people get attention,

perhaps more than they had before....

I see that there is more focus on 

teachers, nurses, policemen.

Parent realise that raising children 

is not so easy as they thought,

that it 'takes a village to raise a child' 

Do all these people trust that it will be ok again,

or do they live from fear.....

Do we all realise freedom is only possible 

if there are rules as well?

Is Fred Astaire right?

Do we lead by example,

are we being the change 

we want to see in this world?

We will have 3 Mercury retrograde periods this year,

and they will all be in an Air sign: 

thinking, realistic,

digest data, detached and objective....

Are we thinking this way, or do we need time

to re-think, re- evaluate.....

This period Mercury is in Aquarius:

'Thinking about an ideal society, 

thinking from an 'ivory tower' and 

can forget of the real life practical problems.

Distant communications, indifferent of private matters,

dreams of a better society.

Unconventional in social dynamics,

more about personal freedom'

Why throwing stones to destroy

if we can use them to build....

Do we take time to look

at 'the stones' in ourselves.....?

I had to think of the brunch I had in Myanmar

with colleges of Anne,

all in the field of humanitarian....

I was shocked that they were so pessimistic:

'we will not see the change that is needed,

that will take a long long time....'

The answer to my question

'What is the reason you still are working here?!?'


'Someone has to help these people Now...

to survive....

For a long last change structures need to change'

We live in a free country,

and by free I mean:

a country were you can vote,

were there are rules and regulations

to make sure

we can live together in a safe way.

With respect for each other

and taking care of each other.'

How come we are so afraid

that we don't get what we think we deserve,

instead of trusting

that some things needs time....

That we are not alone in this....

How come we don't trust.....?!?

Jan Terlouw, 

a senior politician in Holland, 89 years young,

above parties, and a mentor 

for young people 

who want to make a change in this world.

He was asked about the young people who

are on the streets and instead of demonstrating

are plundering and 'throwing rocks'.

His reaction:

'I don't know......there can only be freedom

if there are rules.

Most likely they don't feel heard....'

Not feeling heard.

Do you feel heard?

Can you be yourself?

Do you need to control....


while Knowing deep down that this show fear...

Are you dealing with your fear


do you need 'deep rest'......

It looks that we as society need 'more rest'.....

like my amaryllis needed......



it will bloom,

we as society will bloom......

The sign Aquarius has to do with like minded groups.

I talked about country's here

but.....let's look in our own life:

how is it in our family's?

in your family?

Is there respect for each individual

and are you still one group with 'love as glue'

if someone has a different opinion 

or do you judge some of them....

not realising you are judging yourself.....

Can you make a different choice?

Choose trust instead of fear?

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