We used this poem as part of the baptism ceremony of our children.
We didn't agree with the form off a traditional baptism,
but we liked the meaning of baptism.
We choose to raise our children
in a way the bible taught us.
-realising later that all the religions
in the world have the same morals :-)-
A ceremony is public.
The meaning of love, sharing, respect,
being part of community
and taking care of each other
was important for us.
We also realised that our only goal was
to guide them in this live
till they could do it themselves.
They were already unique.
Of course this outlook has consequences.....
You will be challenged as parents
because children decide do do things different
not all people agree with that......
and you will be challenged with old thoughts,
your own upbringing:
'Am I a bad parent if I do it different?
Do I have the right skills to do what is needed?!?'
Your own upbringing,
the society you lived in
and the society you live in now,
the morals/ the 'what is right or wrong'
all come up
and you can forget who YOU really are....
you realised you are part of society,
only forgot that you are yourself/unique as well.....
This is Saturn/Uranus......
Saturn, the past,
Uranus the future:
how can we combine them in a good way.....
I learned an important lesson
in needlework class when I was about 8 or 9.
We had to do embroidery
and our teacher looked first at the back
instead of the front:
'If it is neat at the back, the front will always be ok....'
It meant we shouldn't leave lose treats,
and short cuts.....
I always remembered this
and am still looking at the back site,
if it looks neat :-)
Let's decide to clean up our own 'mess',
so 'the back' is as neat as 'the front'...
Not only for our selves,
also for our children
so they don't have to deal with our unhealed emotions,
but really can live their own life.
We know about the second and third generations
of Jewish people in the holocaust,
only......this is also the case with all of us.....
And......our children need us,
to teach us, to set boundaries.....Saturn.....
They NEED this so they
can live a life in a community,
being part of society
Knowing they are important and....
should be respected and show respect.....
If you ever did embroidery,
you know that if you don't start with a knot
on the back, the front can look nice,
but it will not stay nice.
-the thread will come loose and the stich
will not be complete at the front-
At the end of the pattern,
you have to fix the end of the treat on the back,
or......it will not stay nice on the front.....
-this thread will also come lose and will
spoil the front-
Isn't this what happens with children/teenagers,
if there are no rules?
They look nice on the outside
but show sign's that are not ok in society.....
Did we respect young people, children,
could they be themselves,
did they Know they were part of society,
did they Know they could be themselves,
did we expect them to be someone WE wanted them to be....
and did they feel they had to 'perform' to be loved....
I talked about the depression
and high suicide rate by young people
and now we see another sign as well:
rebellion, breaking things, looting.....
Is the curfew/lockdown the last drop for some,
and do they show that freedom -Uranus- can
not be shown in a mature way
if there are no boundaries -Saturn-?
What happened with setting boundaries?
It looks as if everything should go without challenges...
I remember my thoughts when the children were small:
'I would I could protect them and hold them close
till they are 21 and then I let them go into society....'
Now I know this came from my own experiences
and emotions that were not healed yet.....
I realised quickly that giving boundaries helped them
to find out how powerful they were,
and that gave them freedom.
Sometimes I would they could have it easier
and.....perhaps that was just a mirror for me.....
Children don't like boundaries....
they are 'just like people' ;-)
but it doesn't mean they don't need them....
the same as we need them....
Freedom to be yourself/respect
It is great to see
that next to the rebellion and looting by young people,
other people are cleaning, taking responsibility.
Not because they have to, because they choose to.
Leading by example.....
'Be the change you want to see in the world'
Yes....we all can be teachers...
Let's start by healing our inner-child...